


Canvas

by exotic_wolves



Category: VIXX
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Angst, Boys' Love, Double Anal Penetration, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Romance, Rough Sex, Slice of Life, Threesome - M/M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 05:11:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 76
Words: 112,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17277683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exotic_wolves/pseuds/exotic_wolves
Summary: VIXX's Leo just debuted with his first solo mini album 'Canvas', and just like many of his fans, VIXX's leader - and his best friend - Cha Hakyeon is blown away by the sensuality he portrayed in his music video. After reading one too many SNS comments about how it's obvious that Leo finally needs to get laid, Hakyeon decides to help his still very shy best friend find some excitement. But little does he know that his meddling will land Taekwoon, Hongbin, and himself in a world of trouble...





	1. Footsteps

Cha Hakyeon sat on one of the folding chairs provided for the actors on set and kept fidgeting about nervously. He'd just spent the last few hours filming for his new drama and was only just taking his first break. Though he should have been relaxing and recharging his energy, he couldn't help but continuously look at his cell phone.

 

He really didn't want to miss the release of Taekwoon's new music video, the video to the title track of his new solo mini album. Because just as it had been for the past six years, Hakyeon, as VIXX's leader, felt the overwhelming need to actively take part in each of his kids' (as he liked to call his fellow members) achievements. But seeing as he was not only VIXX's leader but also Taekwoon's best friend, the need to experience his debut as a solo artist from the very first second was even greater than usual.

 

After once again checking the time on his phone, Hakyeon quickly got up and made his way to the bathroom, hurrying into a clean-looking stall and locking the door behind him. Not even sure as to why it was so important to him but knowing that he wanted to be alone to fully concentrate on and appreciate the music video, Hakyeon made himself comfortable on the toilet lid and quickly visited VIXX's official youtube channel.

 

With only one minute to go, he found himself hastily refreshing the page every few seconds even though he knew the minute wasn't even close to having passed yet. Inwardly laughing at himself because he was being such a 'mom' again, Hakyeon stopped hitting the refresh button and patiently waited for the minute to pass before finally hitting it again.

 

Excited when he finally saw the thumbnail of Taekwoon's mv appear on the screen, Hakyeon immediately clicked on it. Curious as to how the video had turned out, Hakyeon intently gazed at the screen as the seconds passed and Taekwoon's voice whispered into his ears through the in-ear headphones he was wearing. Hakyeon didn't know why, but he could suddenly feel goosebumps creeping across his skin.

 

When the music video had ended and Hakyeon had read quite a few of the comments, left a like as well as a comment of his own - using one of his inconspicuous usernames - he put away his phone and made his way back to the filming set where everyone suddenly seemed to be waiting for him.

 

          "Hakyeon-ssi...," the director immediately approached him, "...there you are. We were worried you might not be feeling well since we couldn't find you and you've been gone for a long time."

 

          "Ah...joesonghabnida," Hakyeon immediately apologized, feeling guilty that he'd taken such a long time to get back to set and had made everyone else wait even though he should have known better.

 

Every single one of the cast and crew led busy lives...and each of them probably had somewhere he or she longed to be and was looking forward to wrapping up filming for the day. And he'd kept them all from finishing on time.

 

          "Jeongmal joesonghabnida," Hakyeon apologized once more, bowing to the director, actors, and crew as he did so, "I'll do my best to shoot my scenes quickly and make up for it."

 

 

At the end of his very busy day of filming, Hakyeon finally arrived back at VIXX's dorm, feeling both exhausted and disappointed. Though he'd managed to get through his scenes fairly quickly with only a few mistakes here and there, the filming had still gone on longer than Hakyeon had anticipated. And so he hadn't had a chance yet to watch Taekwoon's showcase or to congratulate him face to face...or tell him how incredibly proud he was of his best friend's achievement.

 

But the moment Hakyeon came home and stepped into the dorm hallway, none of his disappointment mattered anymore. Because he was suddenly met with not one but two pairs of strong arms that hastily pulled him out of the way of the main entrance while one of his fellow members quickly doused the lights Hakyeon had just turned on and another stood holding a congratulatory cake, getting ready to light the candles the moment they heard Taekwoon approaching the door. It seemed he hadn't yet returned from his showcase and interviews even though it was already rather late.

 

Thankful that his kids had taken it upon themselves to prepare a surprise cake and properly congratulate Taekwoon when Hakyeon hadn't had the chance to prepare anything, Hakyeon's chest swelled with pride at the thought that he'd raised his kids right - because in his opinion he was, of course, the one who had taught them how to be a real team and behave accordingly.

 

Before Hakyeon had the chance to say anything to them - he'd just opened his mouth to thank them all for preparing this surprise - a large, warm hand was suddenly clamped over his mouth from behind, effectively silencing him before he could even get a single word out.

 

          "Ssshhhh...," Hongbin's low voice whispered in his ear, the subtle, grazing touch of his dongsaeng's lips against his earlobe suddenly sending shivers down Hakyeon's spine, "...don't say anything...I think Taekwoon's nearly at the door...I heard the elevator doors open and close."

 

Hakyeon merely nodded and complied, closing his mouth underneath Hongbin's hand - which his dongsaeng still hadn't removed - his lips inadvertantly gliding against the warm flesh of Hongbin's palm as he did so. Though Hongbin didn't say anything, his fingers twitched slightly at the contact and he pulled his hand away a moment later while stepping back from Hakyeon altogether.

 

Hakyeon didn't have time to wonder about Hongbin's overly sensitive reaction as he strained his ears to pick up the faint sounds of footsteps nearing the dorm's main entrance. Though he couldn't really tell if the footsteps he heard belonged to Taekwoon - in his opinion only blind people could tell a specific person's footsteps apart from others - there was no one else it could have been.

 

Jaehwan quickly lit the candles, getting it done just in time for Taekwoon to open the door to a dark room with a brightly lit cake surrounded by his fellow members, who immediately congratulated him and earned a bright, slightly shy smile and a thank you in return.

 

When they'd all settled down a bit and had made themselves comfortable on the large wrap around sofa in the living area, getting ready to celebrate properly with food and drinks, Hakyeon turned to Hongbin, who was sitting next to him on his right.

 

          "By the way...," Hakyeon addressed him, suddenly curious about earlier, "...When I came home shortly before Taekwoon, the candles on the cake weren't lit and you immediately pulled me aside when I entered. So...how did you know it was me...and not Taekwoon?"

 

          "That's easy...," Hongbin replied nonchalantly, "...I can tell your footsteps apart from others."

 


	2. Comfortable Weight

Taekwoon let his tired body sink onto the couch; after all the added hours of dance practice he'd pushed through over the past few weeks, followed by the showcase, interviews, and other schedules, he was finally able to catch his breath for a moment - if only the other members crowding around him and talking to him excitedly would let him.

 

A small smile suddenly appeared on his face, tugging at the corners of his mouth, as he realized how far he'd come. A few years back, this situation would have made him get up and go straight to his room, where he would have embraced the solitude and silence after an extremely tiring day. Now, all he needed to do in order to make it through the loud buzz of excited voices all around him was shut his eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.

 

          "Guys...stop talking for a second and let Taekwoon hyung adjust," Hongbin addressed the other members, trying to help him out a bit as it must have been obvious that he was once again struggling.

 

Taekwoon, though grateful for Hongbin's attempt at helping him, was just about to reply that he'd be okay in a moment and that there was no need for the others to be quiet when he suddenly felt someone else plump down right next to him and a pair of arms wrap tightly around his upper body. Without even needing to open his eyes, he could tell at once whom these arms belonged to.

 

There was only one person who could be so annoyingly intrusive - his best friend. Before Hakyeon had even opened his mouth to speak, Taekwoon had already resigned himself to the fact that Hakyeon would spend the next twenty minutes or so clinging to him while talking non-stop despite - or more likely  _because_  of - Hongbin's words that they should leave him alone for a moment.

 

After heaving a small sigh, Taekwoon opened his eyes again as he listened to the endless stream of praises falling from Hakyeon's mouth, immediately catching the words most suited to make him blush an unbecoming crimson color and start wanting to bury his head in a nonexistent hole in the floor as though he were one of those pink flamingos whose color he'd temporarily adopted.

 

          "Wae?...Why are you being like this again...," Hakyeon complained right next to his ear, mirroring Taekwoon's downward movement as his whole body started to sink toward the floor in an attempt to hide his growing embarrassment, "...I only said that you looked really hot and sexy in your music video and that...," he paused for a moment to run his fingers through Taekwoon's hair, making Taekwoon sink even lower as he tried to inch away from his hand, "...that this 'pinkeu pinkeu' hair looks incredibly hot on you."

 

          "Enough with the hot and sexy already...Give it a rest. Can't you see his nose is already almost touching the floor?" Hongbin threw at Hakyeon, irritation evident in his tone of voice.

 

          "Fine, fine, I'll stop," Hakyeon grumbled in response, turning away from Hongbin - but not before showing him his famous stank face.

 

Hongbin merely rolled his eyes and directed his attention at Taekwoon, who was still busy trying to pull himself together after everything Hakyeon had said, the words still ringing uncomfortably inside his head: 'you were great'...'the song is awesome'...'so proud of you'...'your voice sounded so good'...'your own solo album'...'so happy for you'...'your moves were so smooth'...'you looked so sexy'...'your movements were so sensual'...'your pink hair is seriously hot'...

 

After a few minutes of silence, Taekwoon finally managed to pull himself together again. Hakyeon had finally left him alone verbally, though his arms remained tightly slung around his waist, his hyung's touch suddenly feeling as though it were burning his skin right through the thin t-shirt he'd changed into after the showcase.

 

          "Can't breathe," Taekwoon finally managed to tell his best friend, whose feelings he hadn't wanted to hurt by telling him to let go of him, especially after he'd been so supportive.

 

But he no longer felt he had a choice, Hakyeon's lingering touch unsettling him more and more as the minutes ticked by. It wasn't the first time he'd been much too conscious of his best friend's touch...and it wasn't the first time he was desperate to get out from under those arms even though a stray whisper in the corner of his mind told him that he liked it - a bit too much.

 

          "Sorry," Hakyeon said, his arms immediately setting Taekwoon free.

 

Though it was very unlike Hakyeon to just give in so easily and actually listen to Taekwoon's plea, it seemed he'd caught the pleading look in Taekwoon's eyes. And though his own eyes gave nothing away at first, Taekwoon could have sworn he'd seen a glint of hurt just as he turned away from him. Simultaneously regretful and relieved, Taekwoon turned his attention back to the rest of his fellow members. Though he felt sorry, it just couldn't be helped. When Hakyeon's embraces grew to intimate for Taekwoon to handle...making his pulse race and taking his breath away...Taekwoon had no choice but to hurt him. And sadly, this had been happening more and more often of late.

 

          "Let's have a drink," Hyuk said, diligently fulfilling his role as maknae for once by opening a bottle of soju and pouring a drink for each of his hyungs with one hand respectfully held to his heart as he poured - which made everyone around him suddenly cautious of his behavior...was the maknae on top just trying to get them all drunk so he could get away with everything he did afterward?

 

          "What are you up to again?" Hakyeon and Wonsik asked at the same time, both of them merely voicing what everyone else was thinking.

 

          "Aha!...The two of you just said the exact same thing," Jaehwan, who'd been uncommonly quiet up until then suddenly shouted in an excited voice before jumping to his feet, picking up two shot glasses of soju, and handing one each to Hakyeon and Wonsik.

 

          "One shot," Hyuk said, spurring them on to down their drinks even though everyone knew these two couldn't really hold their liquor. And Taekwoon knew all too well what that was like because he couldn't hold his either.

 

After what felt like an eternity spending time together talking, eating snacks and cake, and drinking, the congratulatory party was over and Taekwoon was looking forward to letting his head hit the pillow. Though he loved his fellow members, even though he might not outright show it most of the time, he was very much looking forward to finally getting the rest he desperately needed. 

 

Though Taekwoon, unlike his fellow members, had managed to get away with not drinking too much, the alcohol in his system nevertheless sufficed to make his head spin uncomfortably once he got to his feet and started heading to his room.

 

          "Yah...!," Jaehwan's voice slurred from behind Taekwoon's back, making him turn on his heels to shoot his dongsaeng an incredulous and at the same time warning look.

 

          "Jaehwan-ah...did you just 'yah' your hyung?" Taekwoon shot back, his voice clearly showing his irritation at not having been shown the proper respect by his younger fellow member.

 

           "Oooopss...soorrryy...ooooottokajiii?" Jaehwan's drunken voice mumbled almost incoherently, making Taekwoon immediately laugh and decide to just drop it as it was obvious his dongsaeng was beyond drunk and couldn't really be held responsible for his words.

 

          "It's fine...don't worry about it...So, what is it you wanted?" Taekwoon simply said, trying to stay patient with his drunk dongsaeng.

 

          "Shouldd ttake...Hakyeon hyungg...to hiss...rooom," Jaehwan said, drunkenly bobbing his head in Hakyeon's direction to indicate the lump lying on the floor a few feet from where Taekwoon stood.

 

Taekwoon was just about to delegate this task to someone else - anyone else - when he realized upon turning his attention away from the comatose body on the floor that everyone else had already left. Even Jaehwan, who'd been there just a moment ago and had seemed way too drunk to even crawl at a snail's pace had suddenly taken to his heels and left Taekwoon alone to deal with Hakyeon.

 

Sighing inwardly for the umpteenth time that evening, Taekwoon bent down, lifted Hakyeon up into his arms and carried him bride-style into his hyung's room, trying not to notice how his best friend's warm breath gently tickled a very sensitive spot on his neck as his head rested against his shoulder.

 

And trying not to notice how nice the soft, bare skin touching his own felt...or how strangely satisfying and comfortable his warm body felt in his arms...   

  
  



	3. Saved by Seohyun

Taekwoon reached Hakyeon's room and hugged his hyung's body closer to his own as he adjusted his weight in order to open the door while holding Hakyeon in his arms, making his hyung's head loll to the side and his lips accidentally graze Taekwoon's neck.

 

          A shiver ran down Taekwoon's spine.

 

Shocked but trying to ignore the unfamiliar and utterly thrilling sensation the touch of Hakyeon's lips against his skin had sent through his body, Taekwoon hurried into the room and towards his best friend's bed, suddenly more than impatient to be free of the weight not only resting in his arms but beginning to settle on his heart. Because whatever it was he was suddenly feeling...it had to stop!

 

In his haste to set Hakyeon down and finally get away from him, Taekwoon rushed straight for his hyung's bed, completely missing the small pile of clothing lying in front of it and suddenly finding himself slipping and falling forward with Hakyeon still in his arms. A small grunt escaped his hyung's mouth, his breath squeezed right out of him as Taekwoon's heavier body landed right on top of him on the small bed, burying his hyung underneath him.

 

Furiously cursing at himself inside his head, Taekwoon started to peel his body off of his best friend's when slender, bronze-colored arms reached out for him and wrapped themselves tightly around his neck. Taekwoon didn't even have time to react as Hakyeon - who, although now awake, still seemed too drunk to actually know what he was doing - forcefully pulled Taekwoon down toward him and hungrily attacked his lips with his own.

 

All breath and sense were knocked out of Taekwoon, whose mind had gone utterly blank at the touch of those soft, slightly moist lips and the feeling of his hyung's teeth gently tugging at his lower lip, urging him to open up for him. No longer in control of his own body, Taekwoon felt his lips part, inviting Hakyeon in.

 

          "Aaaah," the most delicate sigh escaped Taekwoon's throat when Hakyeon slowly invaded his mouth and his senses, making him melt deeper into the kiss they shared.

 

As his hyung's warm, wet tongue started to move with more urgency, hungrily stroking against his own in a way that was starting to make his blood boil in his veins, Taekwoon reacted, kissing Hakyeon back with everything he had. After several minutes of frantic kissing - sucking and nipping at one another's lips and tongues while writhing around in each other's arms - Taekwoon felt his hand reach down as if of its own volition to let his palm leisurely slide across Hakyeon's crotch. A soft moan spilled from Hakyeon's lips, soon followed by words that had Taekwoon feeling as though he'd just been slapped awake, his tongue and hand stopping mid-movement.

 

          "Aaarrgh...Seohyun," Hakyeon breathed once again, his repeated words finally sobering up Taekwoon, who immediately pulled away, unclasped his best friend's hands from around his neck, jumped off of the bed, and fled to the safety of his own room as fast as his legs would carry him.

 

Once he'd arrived in his own space, Taekwoon closed the door behind him and slid right down its wooden surface until he sat slumped back against it, his long legs spread out before him on the bedroom floor.

 

          _Fucking idiot! What the fuck do you think you were doing?!_ he raged at himself, furious for having completely lost his mind and actually kissed and touched his best friend - and fellow member.

 

Luckily, Hakyeon had managed to snap Taekwoon back out of it by moaning Seohyun's name. Taekwoon still couldn't believe what had happened. Why the hell had he let Hakyeon kiss him in the first place? He couldn't have actually believed that his hyung was thinking about _him_ when he'd pulled him close and started attacking his lips! _Of_ _course_ he'd thought about the Girls' Generation member he'd had a crush on for as long as Taekwoon could remember. Had he really thought that had changed?

 

The simple answer was: no. He hadn't thought it had changed...because he hadn't thought at all! He'd merely reacted. He'd been so overwhelmed by his own feelings - feelings he hadn't even known he'd had - that he'd let himself go without even realizing what any of it meant or what the consequences of his actions might be.

 

For crying out loud, he didn't even know at which point he'd started feeling something for Hakyeon! Because every single time his breath had caught in his throat or his heart had started pounding at Hakyeon's prolonged touch, he'd chalked it up to something else - to anything other than having actually developed feelings for his best friend...for the leader of his group...for another _male_!

 

The truth was: When these symptoms had first appeared, Taekwoon should have realized that there was a completely different side to him he hadn't even imagined...

...a different side that didn't seem to want to obey society's rules about what a relationship - what love - should be like...

...a different side he'd actually already started to bury a long time ago at the first signs of feeling attracted to the same sex - when he'd caught himself staring a bit too long at Hongbin's lips after having played the paper kiss game before VIXX's debut, for instance...

...a different side that didn't want to listen to his mind but wanted to follow his heart instead...

...a different side that didn't even seem to care that following his heart would ultimately mean forsaking one of the wishes closest to his heart: of one day hearing his own children's lively footsteps echoing in the home he shared with his loving wife.

 

And though he knew that the idea of a perfect wife, a perfect home, and a perfect family was ultimately nothing but a fantasy - a utopian picture society and family had implanted in his mind ever since he was young - he couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, realizing that the fact how he actually felt about Hakyeon meant he couldn't close his eyes to his sexual orientation anymore...couldn't close his eyes to the fact that a future with another man would mean giving up his dream of having children of his own one day.

 

Taekwoon ran his hand through his hair in utter frustration, feeling lost and confused in light of that night's events. Dejectedly, he wondered what the hell good it had done him to finally have admitted to himself that he was _indeed_ gay if the one he cared about against all sane reasoning had a serious crush on someone else...and was obviously heterosexual.

 

Just what was he doing thinking about his best friend and fellow member in such a way? And how _in the hell_ had he even ended up falling in love with Cha Hakyeon, who could be the most infuriating and annoying person on earth?! 


	4. Jealousy

Hongbin ducked out of sight just in time to keep Taekwoon from noticing he was there. Otherwise, his hyung would have caught him just a few steps outside of Hakyeon's room with an expression on his face that clearly revealed that he'd seen everything that had just happened between his two hyungs.

 

After letting out a shaky breath once Taekwoon had vanished inside his own room and closed the door behind him, Hongbin sat against the wall at his back, closed his eyes, and tried his hardest to forget what he'd just seen. But the graphic images reappeared as soon as he tried not to picture them, making the hands resting at his side ball into tight fists and his nails painfully dig into the skin of his palm in anger.

 

How many years had it been now? How long had he already fought an internal battle against the part of his heart that belonged to someone he could never have? How many sleepless nights had he spent trying to tell himself that Hakyeon would never be his and that he had to take care of the more than inappropriate feelings he'd developed when he'd been so stupid as to fall in love with a man who was straight? And how many times had he been so damn close to him that he could have reached out and touched him intimately...or pulled him in to steal his breath?

 

And yet, struggling against the frantically beating heart that longed to and urged him to finally give in and quench his thirst, he'd held out and resisted - every single time! 

 

           And now Taekwoon had actually stolen his first kiss?! 

 

Hongbin wasn't naive enough to believe that this had been Hakyeon's very first kiss. He knew Hakyeon had a past. From all the VIXX members, their leader-nim was the one to have had the most experience dating and had probably dated more than one girl before they had even debuted...not to mention that he'd kissed a girl for a music video shoot before.

 

But Hongbin also knew - or at least would have bet everything he had - that Hakyeon had never kissed another man before. And even if he knew he could never have him because Hakyeon wasn't gay, he couldn't stand the thought that Taekwoon had stolen the very first kiss Hakyeon had shared with a male, even though Hakyeon wasn't even likely to remember it the next morning because he was way too drunk.

 

Even so...it should have been _him_...it should have been _Hongbin_ who'd brought him to bed...who'd stolen his first kiss with another man!

 

Angry tears slowly rolled down Hongbin's face to disappear in the sleeves of his shirt as he hugged his knees tightly to his upper body and buried his head in his arms, the tears of anger swiftly replaced by ones of anguish. He knew he shouldn't care...what could a kiss between his two hyungs possibly mean when one was gay while the other was not? It couldn't possibly lead to anything more between them. He also knew he shouldn't be angry at Taekwoon, who hadn't even initiated the kiss. He knew this all too well...but still, he just couldn't stop crying.

 

By the time the last droplets of tears disappeared into the fabric of his shirt, Hongbin's mind was made up. He wouldn't be sleeping alone that night. Despite the continuously whispered words of warning his conscience tried to throw at him, Hongbin would have none of it. The jealousy still raging through every part of his body and mind had him up off the floor and in front of Hakyeon's room within mere moments.

 

_This isn't right...You can't do this...Why would you stoop to something so low?...Aren't you ashamed of yourself?...How can you do this to someone you claim to love?...You're just taking advantage of him...If he finds out, he'll never forgive you!_

 

Nothing his own mind could throw at him had the power to stop Hongbin from evening the score between him and Taekwoon. It seemed the two of them were in the same boat, after all. If Hongbin knew _one_ thing for sure after what he'd witnessed that night, it was that Taekwoon was definitely gay...and that he definitely felt something for Hakyeon. Because nothing else could have explained the way he'd suddenly stopped and bolted when Hakyeon had moaned Seohyun's name instead of his. It had been more than obvious that Taekwoon had been deeply hurt by Hakyeon's words.

 

So, since they were in the same boat - both of them hopelessly in love with someone who would never love them back - Hongbin decided he deserved to get at least as much as Taekwoon had: a small taste of heaven...even if it turned out he'd be falling into the pits of hell right afterward. 

 

Hongbin wasn't going to take it too far, only as far as Taekwoon had gone. And though he knew it wasn't right, at that moment he simply didn't care. He was seeing red...he had just been provoked in the most terrible way. And though he wasn't as drunk as Hakyeon, he had way too much alcohol pumping through his veins to think clearly. Furthermore, he had just missed the chance to have Hakyeon's first kiss...he felt he had nothing more to lose.

 

          So, Hongbin decided he would take whatever he could get...no matter the consequences.

 

He was just about to turn toward the door to Hakyeon's room when Hyuk rounded the corner and stepped right in front of him, making Hongbin immediately flinch and take a step back in surprise and shock. Hyuk's eyes narrowed as he stood opposite him, completely unperturbed by Hongbin's presence while Hongbin had already started breaking out in a cold and very obvious sweat.

 

From the look on Hyuk's face, it was more than apparent that he could tell Hongbin had been caught doing something he shouldn't - which, admittedly, given Hongbin's obvious as fuck lack of composure wasn't really all too difficult.

 

          "Where are you going? What are you up to?" Hyuk asked, suspicion leaking into his voice and making his eyebrows knit together as he stood staring intently at Hongbin, who remained frozen to the spot and unable to utter a word.

 

Every possible scenario of trying to fool Hyuk and go through with his initial plan ran through Hongbin's mind...every single one of them ending with his dongsaeng finding out what he was doing, picking him up with one hand, throwing him over his shoulder, and perhaps even punching him if he happened to see what Hongbin was doing to a helplessly drunk Hakyeon without his consent.

 

With the threat of his ridiculously strong maknae looming in front of him, Hongbin finally came back to his senses, giving up any thought of sneaking into Hakyeon's room and taking advantage of him. Though he'd known from the very first minute that it would be horribly wrong to do so, Hyuk's presence had finally managed to sober Hongbin up completely.

 

          "Nothing...I'll be going to bed now," Hongbin swiftly managed while hurriedly passing Hyuk on his way to his own room.

 

Though it was clear to Hongbin that he hadn't managed to fool his dongsaeng, Hyuk seemed to have decided to drop it and be content with Hongbin's choice to go back to his room and forget about whatever he was going to do.  

 

Hongbin reached the safety of his room and heaved a huge, relieved sigh. Even in the terrible mental state in which he found himself at the moment, he knew he would have regretted his actions a moment after having stolen the kiss he'd had no right to covet. He'd almost ended up doing a terrible, inexcusable thing to the person dearest to his heart.

 

Thank God his dongsaeng had shown up when he had...Thank God he'd stopped Hongbin from making the worst mistake of his life...and from perhaps forever ruining his friendship with Hakyeon. Although he would never know it, Hyuk had just saved Hongbin not only from making an utter fool of himself, but from becoming the kind of person he'd never wanted to be and would never have thought of becoming had his head not been filled with jealousy, anger, and alcohol.

 

After silently sending a prayer to the universe, thanking Hyuk for saving him, Hongbin lay down in his own bed a little while later, closed his eyes, and finally managed to fall asleep an hour later despite the busy thoughts still buzzing around his head.

 


	5. Chaos at the Breakfast Table

Hakyeon's eyelids felt beyond heavy as he awoke the following morning. Unwilling to open his eyes but knowing full well that he had important schedules to attend that day, Hakyeon rubbed his tired eyes before even attempting to open them. Yawning so widely that his jaw almost hurt, Hakyeon lifted himself up into a sitting position, regretting this action the very moment his head was slightly jolted from moving too quickly. Feeling as though all of VIXX had hit him over the head with a hammer because he'd needed to be punished for making mistakes in some kind of variety show - only this time, it felt as though he'd been hit with a real hammer! - Hakyeon vowed _never ever_ to drink alcohol again.

 

          "Argghh," he groaned miserably as he made himself stand up and stumble into the small adjoining bathroom to wash away the stench of alcohol still lingering all over his body.

 

Half an hour later - it had taken a long time to shower seeing as the only thing his body seemed to want to do was to hang over the toilet the entire time - Hakyeon finally managed to finish washing and brush his teeth, feeling _almost_ half human again by the time he regarded his still slightly wet, towel-covered body in the large mirror above the bathroom sink.

 

Usually, at this time, Hakyeon would have raked his fingers through the black strands of dripping wet hair, would have given his mirror image a flirty wink, and would have told himself how incredibly handsome he looked. But that morning, Hakyeon didn't even have it in him to compliment himself. He felt his head might actually explode if he tried.

 

Nonetheless, Hakyeon spent a good amount of time looking at his face, trying to discern if he looked okay or if he appeared bloated from having consumed too much alcohol. He shouldn't have drunk so much, he berated himself. Since he had to head over to the filming site of his new drama in a few hours, he should have been more careful about the things he'd eaten and drunk. Thankfully, they hadn't had ramen the previous night, or he might have looked twice as bloated as he already felt he did.

 

When his eyes traveled further down the reflection of his face and landed on his lips, Hakyeon started to frown.

 

           _What the...why are my lips like that?_ Hakyeon wondered, completely nonplussed.

 

Even when his face had been bloated on previous occasions - which had happened countless times before - his lips had never looked like this. Was he about to get sick...and this was actually the beginning of a fever blister? Hakyeon wondered, staring at his more than just slightly swollen lips. Sighing in resignation - because what the hell could he even do about it if that were the case? - Hakyeon finally turned away from the mirror, returned to his bedroom, and started to get dressed.

 

Wanting to take a small rest before breakfast after the hassle of showering and getting dressed while dealing with a major hangover, Hakyeon plumped himself down on top of his made bed, grabbed his cell phone, and started to search for Taekwoon's new music video on Youtube. He just had to rewatch it!

 

Looking at the screen in fascination, Hakyeon once again drank in the vibrant colors and sensual movements, loving every moment of this artful masterpiece and feeling incredibly proud of how much Taekwoon had changed from the more than shy, introverted person he'd been 6 years ago to the extremely sexy, almost naughty Taekwoon he was seeing on the screen.

 

When the video passed 0:50 min and Taekwoon touched his hand to his mouth while singing 'lips', Hakyeon felt a chill run down his spine. Though briefly wondering where that reaction had suddenly come from, he was too immersed in the music video to ponder for more than a moment. When the music video arrived at 1:47 min, Hakyeon felt himself being drawn in by the sight of Taekwoon's lips, absentmindedly touching his own. By the time the music video had ended, Hakyeon's whole body was shaking slightly.

 

          _What's wrong with me? I really must be coming down with a cold,_ he thought, while trying to remember if he'd done anything stupid the previous night that could have made him neglect to take good care of his health - well, something _other_ than the drinking he'd done, of course!

 

But the more Hakyeon racked his brains trying to figure out the particulars of that night, the more the memories just eluded him. It was of no use trying any harder; he simply couldn't remember a damn thing after he'd reached a certain amount of alcohol pumping through his veins. For that matter, he couldn't remember how in the world he'd made it back to his own bed. It seemed like a miracle to him, because he usually just slept wherever his body had fallen when he drank as much as he had the previous night.

 

Rubbing his head for the umpteenth time as though he hoped it might help set free any locked-away memories, Hakyeon made his way out the door and toward the kitchen in search of breakfast. Hoping that at least some of the members were already up and at the table - he wasn't sure because they currently all had different schedules - Hakyeon felt relieved when he entered the kitchen to find not only all members present but also a delicious looking breakfast spread out before them. The relatively small table was filled with healthy, freshly cooked Korean dishes that had Hakyeon's mouth watering despite the churning of his alcohol-affected stomach.

 

          "Waah...Taekwoonie...how many dishes did you cook? You must have been up really early to make all of these," Hakyeon marveled at his dongsaeng's cooking skills and the effort he'd put in, immediately recognizing that the dishes had been made by Taekwoon; truthfully, none of the other members knew how to cook as well as he did.

 

Taekwoon didn't answer and merely nodded, the small smile he sent Hakyeon in reply lacking so much sincerity that one couldn't even call it a smile. It was more like a twitch of the lips intending to imitate a smile - which failed abysmally.

 

          "Wae?..." Hakyeon abruptly addressed him, "...What's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?...Did you overdo it with the alcohol last night?"

 

Hakyeon watched Taekwoon silently shake his head. Patiently waiting for a reply to follow, Hakyeon had nearly given up when Taekwoon's small voice finally replied.

 

          "I just...didn't sleep...last night," Taekwoon explained and immediately went back to attacking his food with his chopsticks without looking at Hakyeon.

 

At a loss as to why his dongsaeng hadn't even looked at him once since he'd entered the kitchen, but not wanting to add to Taekwoon's distress when he already seemed to be feeling pretty low - even if he tried to chalk it up to merely being tired from lack of sleep - Hakyeon just let it go, accepting his words although he knew his dongsaeng well enough to see right through his bullshit.

 

          "Yeah, we can all tell you didn't get any sleep...your lips are completely swollen," Hongbin, who was sitting opposite Taekwoon, suddenly said, making Taekwoon flinch and nearly drop his  chopsticks - the bite of food he'd captured and almost managed to bring to his mouth dropping from between the two wooden sticks to land on the hitherto white, unpainted fabric of the tablecloth.

 

At the same time that Taekwoon's hand flew to cover his mouth - as though he'd just been caught at something and was hiding the evidence - Hakyeon's eyes flew to Taekwoon's lips. But all he could see was his dongsaeng's trembling hand as it remained firmly pressed against his mouth until he felt comfortable enough to remove it a few minutes later. And though Hakyeon tried to steal glances at Taekwoon's mouth every so often afterward, he never really got a chance to see how swollen his lips were because Taekwoon was continuously busy stuffing vast amounts of food into his mouth before chewing behind the palm of his hand again - as though he were trying to be polite by not showing them his way too full mouth while he chewed.

 

Hakyeon finally gave up wanting to see Taekwoon's lips. He didn't even know why he'd been so interested. Perhaps because he'd felt it was a strange coincidence that both of their lips were swollen at the same time...when really there wasn't anything too strange about it. It wasn't like it was impossible for them to have the same kind of problem at the same time for different reasons. So, Hakyeon finally decided not to think about it anymore.

 

Of course, Hongbin had to choose exactly that moment to bring up the subject once again.

 

          "Hmm, that's strange...," Hongbin addressed Hakyeon, his voice sounding so intriguing that it immediately made everyone else around the table stop what they were doing and look at him in interest, "...your lips are swollen as well...Did the two of you maybe catch something together?"

 

Hakyeon merely frowned - not because of Hongbin's words but because he felt vexed about not knowing the cause of his swollen lips and because he couldn't remember anything of the last night - while Taekwoon actually started choking on the food he hadn't yet managed to swallow, resulting in a mess at the breakfast table and the hectic movements of the members as they tried to keep Taekwoon from actually choking to death because of the large amount of food that he'd once again stuffed into his mouth a few moments before Hongbin had spoken.

 

          "I'll save you!" Jaehwan cried dramatically before jumping to his feet and squeezing Taekwoon from behind as hard as he could, clearly overdoing it so that one might think he was rehearsing for a parody of a superhero movie.

 

Instead of helping Taekwoon, this only seemed to aggravate him more. Coughing and flailing his arms, he desperately tried to get Jaehwan off of him and failed, ultimately needing to be saved by Wonsik, who, cool as a cucumber, simply got to his feet, plucked a struggling Jaehwan off of Taekwoon as though it was nothing, and lightly smacked Taekwoon's back a few times to help ease his coughing.

 

When he finally seemed to be okay again - though his face was still glowing in a bright shade of red - Taekwoon fixed Hongbin with a murderous stare before getting up and walking straight from the room, leaving without cleaning his dishes away or giving any kind of explanation for the way he'd looked at Hongbin.

 

Not knowing what the hell Taekwoon's reaction or the suddenly hostile look between them had been about, Hakyeon was about to follow Taekwoon out of the room and demand an explanation for his strange behavior but was held back by a strong grip on his wrist.

 

          "Don't you need to head out to the filming location soon?...You should eat before you leave...Don't worry about him...I'm sure it's nothing," Hongbin said, letting go of Hakyeon's wrist again as he flashed him a very toothy, dimple showing smile that had Hakyeon immediately feeling better and less worried; somehow Hongbin always had that effect on him.

 

          "Okay...," Hakyeon sighed, "...I'll check on him when I come back tonight."

 

From the corner of his eye - while piling large amounts of food onto his rice - Hakyeon could have sworn he could see Hongbin's expression visibly darken after Hakyeon's last remark. But unable to imagine any reason why Hongbin would be angry about him wanting to make sure Taekwoon was alright - because it was such an inconceivable notion - he immediately dismissed the thought.

 

          Perhaps, like Taekwoon, Hongbin just wasn't feeling all too well that day. 


	6. Sleepwalking

Taekwoon hurried to his room, closed and locked the door behind him, and plopped himself down on his bed. He didn't care who called him or who came looking for him...if anyone came and knocked on his door, he simply wouldn't open up. He needed time...time to think about what to do now that he was aware of his feelings for Hakyeon.

 

The answer was as simple as it was painful. What was there left to do but try to get rid of these feelings? He knew Hakyeon didn't feel the same way. There was no future for the two of them. And the sooner Taekwoon managed to convince his heart of the sad reality his brain already knew and accepted, the better off he'd be.

 

Throwing himself onto his side and snuggling deeper into the soft covers of his bed, Taekwoon tried to catch up on the sleep he'd lost the previous night - and the nights before in preparation for his debut as a solo artist - since he didn't have any schedules that day. But just like it had been the case then, he found himself going through the exact same torturous process he'd gone through right after leaving Hakyeon's room.

 

The memory of those soft lips pressing against his own haunted him...the feeling of Hakyeon's warm tongue caressing his own sending his heart into a frenzy every time he flashed back to the kiss...the thought of how his hyung's body had been captured underneath and pressed up against his own making him break out in a sweat...making him want to touch himself...making him want to relieve the aching he felt between his legs every single time he thought about kissing him...touching him...doing things to him he'd never before even dreamed of doing.

 

Ever since the night before, he found himself unable to control these thoughts and urges - even when he knew there was no chance to actually do all the things he'd started dreaming of doing with his best friend. Taekwoon knew he'd totally lost it, but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment. Of course, he would try to forget about everything that had happened between them, would try to get over him at any cost, because he knew this unrequited love would only slowly torture him until it finally ended up killing him inside.

 

After what seemed like forever, Taekwoon finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep, his body starting to writhe around on the bed to accompany the feverish dream that had started to take hold of him.

 

_Soft, silken sheets were caressing every inch of the skin exposed to the velvety fabric as Taekwoon's naked shoulders and backside slightly slid across the bed along with his movements as he arched his back while lost in the heated kiss, his hyung's equally naked body lying on top of him squirming in his arms as they fought for dominance._

 

_The wild beating of his own heart resounded loudly in his ears as his tongue tangled with his hyung's and his groin bucked up instinctively to meet Hakyeon's, both of them moaning at the thrilling contact as their bare members rubbed against each other. After a few minutes, Hakyeon abruptly pulled out of the kiss they shared._

 

_"I want you," Hakyeon's soft, breathy voice whispered into Taekwoon's ear, making his already hard cock twitch in excitement._

 

_Taekwoon immediately reached up and grabbed Hakyeon by the nape of his neck, his fingers curling around his hair as he did so. The other hand flew to his hyung's backside, his fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh of Hakyeon's buttock as he tightened his grip and pulled his hyung around, flipping him onto his back as he reversed their positions..._

 

_Taekwoon's head was filled with the images and sounds of lying between Hakyeon's spread legs and hammering into him...with Hakyeon screaming his name in between moans...with him tightening around Taekwoon's ruthlessly thrusting cock...with him finally losing control and spilling onto his stomach...with a tightness closing all around Taekwoon's thickening length, squeezing him so intensely that it took him closer and closer to the edge to spill over at any moment..._

 

Taekwoon's eyes suddenly flew open the moment he heard a particularly loud moan. While his fingers started to relax and let go of the sheets they had been gripping, Taekwoon slowly found his way back to reality, only now realizing that the desperate sound he'd heard had actually come from his own throat. Even as he tried to understand what had just happened, his gaze followed the gentle, rocking movements of his body as he slowly came back down from his orgasm and soon fell on the hand still tightly wrapped around his cock.

 

          _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_           

 

He'd actually masturbated while dreaming about Hakyeon?!

 

This had never happened to him before. Sure, he'd had plenty of wet dreams before...but to actually physically pleasure himself while he was still asleep? It was something he'd never done before...something he hadn't even thought possible unless he was a sleepwalker. But Taekwoon couldn't recall ever having sleepwalked in his entire life. Why had this suddenly happened to him? Dimly recalling something he'd once read about sleepwalking, Taekwoon hoped this had been a one-time occurrence...one of those instances in which severe sleep deprivation had caused this episode.

 

After quickly reaching for the box of tissues on his bedside table, Taekwoon hurried to wipe away the evidence of his naughty dream and even naughtier actions, feeling guilty about what he'd done while picturing Hakyeon's naked, needy and positively sinful body writhing underneath him. 


	7. Surprise!

Ever since his hyung had left the kitchen that morning, Hongbin had been feeling crappy about having let his jealousy control him and make him put Taekwoon on the spot with his comments about swollen lips.

 

          He shouldn't have done it! 

 

He'd always thought he was better than that. Better than to do petty things like lashing out at one of his dearest brothers because of jealousy. Better than to just throw away the special relationship he had with Taekwoon.

 

Recently, looking back at the years they'd spent together in the same group, Hongbin had marveled at how far they'd come as friends in the time they'd known each other. He could still clearly recall their pre-debut days when he'd oftentimes shied away from approaching him, feeling too intimidated by Taekwoon's cold-seeming aura, his intense stare, and his almost brutish strength (while shooting for a tv-show and playing a team game, Taekwoon had rushed at him like a bull and thrown him to the floor as though he were nothing but a ragdoll).

 

But over the years and because of the many struggles they'd made it through together as members of the same team, the two of them had grown closer than Hongbin would ever have imagined. And Hongbin had finally gotten a glimpse of the warm, tenderhearted, and incredibly shy man behind the facade. Furthermore, Taekwoon had started to open up to Hongbin, the other members, and the outside world more and more until it seemed almost impossible that he was the same man who had debuted with Hongbin all those years ago. 

 

Knowing that Taekwoon wouldn't respond to a knock on his door because he tended to completely lock himself away and brood when he was angry, and feeling more than sorry, thus needing to make sure his hyung was okay and apologize for his behavior before the guilt kept eating away at him, Hongbin decided to pick the lock on Taekwoon's door and talk to him...and suddenly found himself getting much more than he'd bargained for.

 

Hongbin deeply regretted his choices mere moments after the hairpin hit its intended mark, successfully unlocking Taekwoon's door. The sight that met his eyes was one he'd never forget.

 

Hongbin's gaze first swept across the floor - across the messy pile of discarded clothing, blanket, and pillows - until it finally came to rest on Taekwoon's bed. The bed on which Taekwoon's completely naked body lay stretched out in a delicious display of pure lust...his hyung writhing and moaning...his back arched...his perked up nipples on display...his head thrown back...the veins showing in his overstretched neck...his hair messed up and plastered to his sweat-covered temples...his lips parted, displaying some of his pearly white teeth...his tongue leisurely sliding across his bottom lip...one hand wrapped around and pumping his erection...the other hand fisting in the bedsheets...

 

Hongbin threw his body around as soon as his suddenly trembling legs could manage, reached behind him, and closed the door as swiftly as he could. But no matter how quickly he shut the door on that room, the image of Taekwoon pleasuring himself could no longer be erased from Hongbin's mind. It was too late...the damage was done...and Hongbin suddenly found himself with an erection of his very own.

 

           _No, no, no, no!_

 

The words of denial echoed through Hongbin's mind as he fled to his room and locked himself inside, his knees giving out from under him the second he'd managed to secure the door. He couldn't believe what had just happened...he couldn't believe how turned on he felt...by Taekwoon...by someone who wasn't the one he was in love with!

 

_What a fucking mess_ , Hongbin thought, frantically burying his trembling fingers in his hair, combing through it in an attempt to calm himself.

 

How on earth had it suddenly come to this...to Hongbin feeling utterly aroused by Taekwoon jerking himself off...when he was in love with Hakyeon?!

 

Well, it wasn't _that_ unusual to have feelings for someone but also feel attracted to or turned on by someone else. Hongbin was human, after all. And he'd been in love with Hakyeon for many years now, their leader-nim being the first man he'd ever felt attracted to...the one who'd made Hongbin suddenly question his sexuality and opened his eyes to the fact that he was actually bisexual and not as straight as he'd thought. Because of his feelings for Hakyeon, Hongbin hadn't been interested in meeting anyone else and was pretty much as sex-starved as one could be.

 

So it wasn't all too surprising that this sudden encounter was making his knees and hands tremble, his heart pound against his chest, and his member stand at attention. Because who on earth could stay unmoved by the sight of such a beautiful man making love to himself in such an uninhibited, hotblooded manner. The way he had let himself go so completely...the way he had shown all of himself - even if he hadn't known he was being watched -...the soft, breathy moans that had escaped those deliciously moist lips...the way the muscles in his arms and his torso had flexed and rippled as he'd moved...

 

          _How could anyone not feel aroused by that?!_   Hongbin tried to justify his growing boner and the images continuously replaying in his head, wishing nonetheless that he could simply forget what he'd seen and get past the arousal he felt.

 

But the images of Taekwoon wouldn't leave him alone. And so he found himself in the shower a few minutes later, turning the water as cold as he possibly could without actually making himself freeze to death. Because he was not going to do what his hyung had just done while thinking about him. Repeating the mantra 'I love Hakyeon...I love Hakyeon...I love Hakyeon' over and over beneath the brutally cold stream of water, Hongbin finally managed to clear his mind and calm his body back down.

 

Knowing he simply didn't have the luxury to let it happen again because he had important schedules to get to, Hongbin managed to push every single thought about Taekwoon to the back of his mind and completely ignore them. After drying off and getting dressed, Hongbin left the dorm and headed to his first schedule, careful to avoid anyone with brightly colored, pink hair.

 


	8. Flashback

Hakyeon was tired - and bored. After a whole day of shooting, nearing the end of his schedule, he found himself sitting on a folding chair for more than an hour, waiting for the filming crew to set up the lighting and props for his last scene of the day. But things just kept going wrong...and the minutes ticked by...and ticked by...and _still_ he was sitting there waiting. An hour might not seem as such a long time to some people but to someone like Hakyeon - who was always so busy and had so many things to take care of as VIXX's leader - the unnecessary wait, when there were so many better ways to spend his precious time, felt like an eternity.

 

To keep calm and think of something else, so that he wouldn't get even more frustrated than he already was, Hakyeon kept revisiting the Youtube page and playing Taekwoon's music video, scrolling down the page as he did so to read all of the fans' comments. By the time he'd nearly reached the very first comment at the bottom of the page, one thing had become pretty clear.

 

Most of the comments were about Taekwoon's overflowing sensuality and the very, very clear meaning of the words he'd written. Which had many of the fans leaving comments along the line of how it really was about time Taekwoon got laid. And though Hakyeon had laughed it off after reading the very first comment of that sort, by the end of reading many, many similar comments and rewatching the video over and over, Hakyeon was ready to agree with them.

 

The words falling from Taekwoon's mouth and the very suggestive movements of his fingers or hands at various points throughout the video even had Hakyeon suddenly breaking out in a sweat. Taekwoon was practically oozing sex...and although that was more than okay with Hakyeon because it was really exciting to watch, he sincerely hoped his dongsaeng had left enough Starlights alive so that VIXX could maintain their fan base. But looking at the video once again, he seriously doubted it!

 

Hakyeon finally put his cell phone away, wondering a second later if it had been a mistake. Because now that he had no distraction, he was starting to become restless again. But before he could pull it back out of his pocket and continue watching music videos, an interesting conversation between two of the filming production's female stylists caught his attention.

 

          "And...were you able to actually pull it off in the end?" One of the middle-aged stylists asked her colleague.

 

          "Argh, I tried my best. But let me tell you, I had such a hard time trying to make them seem normal...the girl's lips were completely swollen from all the kissing scenes...they really should have changed the sequence of filming...honestly, it was a nightmare."

 

_Swollen lips...kissing...swollen...kissing..._

 

Something about the stylist's words had caught Hakyeon's attention and hadn't let him go again. Why did he have such a strong feeling that there was something important about her words...something he was missing? He suddenly felt so certain that something monumental was eluding him...something he absolutely _had_ to remember. It was soon becoming like an itch he couldn't scratch - driving him crazy. 

 

Hakyeon closed his eyes, feeling more tired and drained than mere moments ago. Wondering why he was trying so hard to grasp at something that might not even be there - it might be simply his overactive imagination suggesting he'd forgotten something vital when in fact nothing had happened at all - Hakyeon was about to forget about it when a memory suddenly flooded his awareness.

 

_What the hell was that?_  Hakyeon wondered, trying to concentrate and recall what he'd just experienced.

 

With his eyes remaining firmly shut, Hakyeon took a deep breath and carefully replayed the resurfaced memory he'd just experienced. 

 

           _Wait...what?_ Hakyeon thought, confused, remembering how he'd pulled Seohyun close and had kissed her, the memory of the heated kiss sending the same kind of electricity through his veins and heat to his lower region as he now remembered having felt on that night.

 

But, of course, that had never happened. He'd never even had a chance to be alone like that with her, much less the courage to pull her close and kiss her. But how could something that had never happened feel so real...so thrilling? How could it make him ache so completely in places he sooo didn't want to be aching in at a time like this...when he wasn't alone and getting ready to shoot his last scene?

 

Trying even harder to remember now because this whole mystery was seriously starting to affect him both physically and mentally, Hakyeon dug even deeper into his memories of that night, needing to find an explanation for having found himself in Seohyun's presence.

 

Hakyeon carefully replayed the memory he'd recalled... 

 

...pulling Seohyun's mouth down to his own and capturing her lips...

...tugging on her lower lip until she'd surrendered...

...that sensual, completely seductive little sigh that had left her lips...

...discovering the hot, moist angles of her mouth as he'd deepened the kiss...

...their tongues caressing...melding...

...how she'd kissed him back so aggressively that it had had him reeling and fighting for control...

...how they'd sucked on each other's tongues...

...how they'd writhed in each other's arms...not getting enough of one another...

...how he'd received the turn-on of his life...

...how she'd even been so forward as to stroke his erection through his clothing...

...how he'd moaned her name...completely lost in her touch...

           ...how...she...

                                 ...how...

                                               ...how...

 

Suddenly, the face in his memories changed, morphing from Seohyun's image into a very masculine, very handsome face with extremely captivating eyes...a very familiar one...a face framed by brightly colored, pink hair.

 

Hakyeon's eyes flew open as a startled sound he couldn't have defined if he'd tried escaped his throat, startling everyone around him and making them come up to him and ask him if he was alright.

 

Lying through his teeth - because  _No, he was definitely not fucking alright!!!_ Hakyeon made their concerns disappear by acting the part of being perfectly fine, which cost him everything he had!

 

By the end of his schedule, after further draining himself beyond what he'd ever believed possible, Hakyeon somehow managed to get through his filming - though he couldn't really recall how. Because the entire time he was functioning on autopilot while his mind kept going back...and back...and back. And _still_ , he couldn't believe what had happened. Had it even happened? How could that have possibly happened?

 

Hakyeon felt so confused, so unsure if he was only imagining things...making up things that were ridiculous...because how would that even have happened?...How - and why - would he have kissed him?...And why would Taekwoon possibly kiss him back like that? It just couldn't be real...couldn't be true...

 

Because if it was...if this had really happened...if Taekwoon had really made him feel that way...as though every inch of him was on fire...burning to kiss him...burning to touch him...burning to become one with him...then Hakyeon honestly didn't know how to face him or what to do about it. Because if there was one thing Hakyeon had always known about himself, it was that - contrary to what his many fans might think or speculate about him - Hakyeon had always been straight. Not gay, not bisexual, not pan-sexual...but simply, boringly straight.

 

But if what he'd felt in that moment had been real - and it felt too fucking real for comfort! - Hakyeon definitely had a problem. Because it would mean he'd been wrong all his life. Because it would mean his life was about to change drastically. Because it would mean he would be letting many of his fans, his family, and his company down by choosing a path no one would choose if they actually had a choice.

 

Because it was fucking hard to be someone society didn't accept...someone society didn't want...someone others hated on just because they were different...someone who continuously had to hide who they were and whom they loved...because that was the fucking sad truth about how a large part of the world's society treated the LGBT community, especially in Korea, and especially where idols were concerned.

 

Completely panicking, because he didn't want his life to change...because he simply couldn't deal with this...Hakyeon decided that no matter if this had really happened or not, he would do whatever it might take to keep their relationship on the same level it had always been.

 

And if that meant diverting his dongsaeng's attention to someone - anyone - else and doing his best to get him laid so that he wouldn't even think about coming after Hakyeon and confusing him further, then so be it! 


	9. The Plea

Taekwoon had returned from his comeback stage at the SBS music program 'The Show' a few minutes ago and had immediately been welcomed home with a congratulatory cake, lots of cheering, and plenty of hugs. Setting the first trophy he'd ever won as a solo artist on his bookshelf - carefully selecting a spot where it would be displayed prominently - Taekwoon wished he could still feel as happy about this first win as he'd felt right after receiving it.

 

But the pleasure and the pride he'd felt about his accomplishment had started to fade the moment he'd stepped through their dorm's front door to be welcomed into the warm and loving embraces of all but two of his fellow members. Because while he greatly appreciated the other members' warmth and brotherly love, his elation at having been welcomed back and congratulated so affectionately had taken a serious dive when he'd noticed that both Hongbin and Hakyeon were absent.

 

It would have been okay if they simply hadn't been able to make it back in time to join the others because of their busy schedules and had sent him a few heartfelt words about his first win through text message or had perhaps posted something about it on his SNS. But he hadn't received a word...from either of them.

  
_That,_ on top of the fact that the two of them had been outright avoiding him for several days now, had him suddenly feeling really dejected. Before, even when the members had all been busy with their own schedules, they'd always managed to keep in contact almost every day. Taekwoon had never gone so long without a word or a text from either of them.

 

And it wasn't just that he hadn't heard from them in a long time, they had even started to head in the opposite direction every time they saw him. Though they tried not to make it obvious by attempting to sneak off unnoticed, Taekwoon caught them at it every single time. Because on account of his intense desire to be with the two members he liked most, he was always all too aware of their presence.

 

Taekwoon didn't even know where things had started to go wrong between the two of them and him. Had he done something? He couldn't really remember having done anything to make them avoid him as much as they did. The only thing he was still more aware of than he should be was the night Hakyeon and he had made out like a pair of horny teenagers. But since Hakyeon had been beyond drunk and there simply was no way he could have remembered any of it - besides, he'd only been thinking about Seohyun the entire time they'd made out - there was no way he could have been avoiding him because of that night.

 

And Hongbin? He couldn't even imagine what Hongbin's deal was. Was it because he'd glared at him angrily when Hongbin had made those comments about swollen lips? And why had he even said such things? He couldn't possibly have seen them, could he...?

 

But what if he had? Was that perhaps the reason for avoiding him? Had he been disgusted by what he'd witnessed?

 

          Taekwoon had all the questions but not a single answer.

 

And while he really wanted an explanation, he was also suddenly afraid of receiving one. Because what could he have possibly done that was so horrible that Hongbin and Hakyeon wanted nothing to do with him and were making him feel so terribly lonely all of a sudden?

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hongbin stared down at his hands tightly wrapped around the mango drink he was holding, silently waiting for Hakyeon to tell him why it had been so important to meet - just the two of them - at the small chain cafe situated only a few minutes from their dorm. Still deeply lost in his thoughts, wondering what Hakyeon's suddenly wanting to meet him at a cafe around the corner at this time in the evening could possibly be about, Hongbin jumped slightly when his hyung abruptly reached out to grasp one of his hands, not having expected his touch.

 

          "Hongbin-ah...I need you to help me," Hakyeon said after grabbing Hongbin's hand, gently removing it from the cup it had been holding, and placing it between the palms of his own hands.

 

Hongbin's heart immediately sped up, Hakyeon's intimate touch feeling as though it were burning his skin.

 

          "Don't touch me," Hongbin said, pulling his hand back as quickly as he could.

 

Hakyeon remained unfazed - probably because this had already happened so many times that he hadn't been the least surprised at Hongbin's reaction. It was actually a recurring thing between them. And though some fans - and perhaps even Hakyeon and the other members - thought it was because Hongbin didn't really like Hakyeon all too much or didn't want to be touched by him because he found Hakyeon annoying when he got too clingy, it was the exact opposite.

 

          He liked him _too much_...

          Liked his touch _too much_...

 

Hongbin's feelings for him were too intense to allow Hakyeon to touch him too intimately. Because every time he did, it threw Hongbin off...made him weak...softened his heart and his resolve to stay away from him as much as he could...to try to stop feeling about him the way that he did...the way he knew he shouldn't.

 

So, whenever Hakyeon slung his arms around him, touched him, or ran his hands across his thigh, just like he did with the other members - and  _because_ he did it to all the other members - Hongbin tended to immediately pull back and put a stop to it. Because he knew it wasn't anything special when Hakyeon did this...and because he desperately needed it to mean something special. So if Hakyeon's touches didn't hold the meaning he needed them to, then he didn't want them.

 

          "Help you how?" Hongbin managed once his hand was free and his heart had calmed down again.

 

          "There's something...I need to do...something I can't do by myself...it'll probably sound really strange and seriously wrong...and mental...but I just need to do it," Hakyeon said before biting his lower lip in a way that clearly showed his inner turmoil; nevertheless, his eyes shone with determination.

 

          "Well...spit it out then. I can't help you if you don't tell me what it is," Hongbin answered patiently, though he was starting to dread the words that would soon fall from Hakyeon's mouth; he had a bad feeling about whatever was coming.

 

Hongbin watched Hakyeon's movements as he nervously wrung the hands lying in his lap. It didn't happen often that his hyung seemed so shy and flustered. What the hell would he be asking of him?!

 

          "Help me...," Hakyeon started and then hesitated, Hongbin using this little pause to take a sip of his drink, "...get Taekwoon laid."

 

Hongbin's drink - at least the sip that had been in his mouth as Hakyeon had spoken - sprayed right across the small table and directly into Hakyeon's surprised face, painting his hyung's usually bronze colored skin a bright orange. It would almost have been funny...if it weren't for the fact that Hongbin felt too shocked by Hakyeon's words to feel like laughing.

 

But although he'd at first been shocked enough to spit out his drink, a moment later Hongbin felt convinced that he couldn't have possibly heard him right. Because how on earth could VIXX's leader, not to mention Taekwoon's best friend, possibly want to risk ruining Taekwoon's and all of VIXX's images - in case this ever came out - by trying to get him laid? It didn't make any sense!

 

          "What did you just say?" Hongbin asked, still certain he'd merely imagined the words he'd thought he'd heard.

 

          "Help me get Taekwoon laid," Hakyeon repeated, this time with more determination in his voice.

 

Hongbin could clearly tell that this was something that was really important to Hakyeon - though he couldn't, for the life of him, imagine why.

 

While Hakyeon grabbed a napkin from the table and started to wipe away the traces of Hongbin's drink, Hongbin just stared at him, his mouth still hanging open in shock and disbelief.

 

          "Why?" Hongbin finally managed after pulling himself together.

 

          "You don't need to know," Hakyeon simply replied to Hongbin's utter dissatisfaction.

 

          "Bullshit...," Hongbin immediately shot back, "...what do you want to bet that Taekwoon didn't ask you for this kind of meddling...and doesn't have a clue about what you're trying to do?...We both know he's way too shy to want to have anything to do with your scheme. Which totally means we'd be doing this cringe-worthy thing against his wishes. So, how can you sit there and tell me that I don't need to know? Because if there's any chance I'm going to help you do something like _that_ to one of my hyungs...one of my brothers...then I _goddammit_ need to know why!"

 

Hakyeon's expression suddenly darkened, his mouth twitching guiltily and his eyes flitting away from Hongbin's to drop to his own lap, instead.

 

          "I already know that what I'm trying to do is anything but okay," Hakyeon admitted in a small voice.

 

          "So, why? Why do it if you know how wrong it is?" Hongbin tried again.

 

          "Because...I'm drowning...and I have no choice," Hakyeon replied, his voice abruptly sounding desperate and strained.

 

          "Why...What happened?" Hongbin asked even while a sudden suspicion crept into his head.

 

Was it possible Hakyeon had remembered that night? Was he trying to do this because he was afraid Taekwoon would come on to him further in the future? But...why was he so afraid? Unless there was actually a chance Taekwoon might succeed by weakening his resolve? Because if Hakyeon felt absolutely nothing and Taekwoon's kisses had left him completely cold, then why would Hakyeon feel the need to go to such extremes just to get Taekwoon off his back?

 

A strong surge of jealousy shot through Hongbin at the notion that Taekwoon seemed to have gotten to Hakyeon so badly that Hakyeon was seeing red and trying to protect himself by using such desperate measures...even asking Hongbin for help! Driven by the jealousy that was burning a fiery path through his veins and destroying every logical and benign thought in his head, Hongbin heard himself say the words his hyung needed to hear.

 

          "Fine...I'll help you," the words left Hongbin's lips as he pictured Taekwoon's unbelievably hot, naked body writhing around on the bed in extasy, knowing that if Hakyeon ever saw this side of him, it would be game over for Hongbin; because he had to admit that he was up against a God - someone whose effortlessly sexy aura drew everyone around him in and never let them go again.

 

          "Jeongmal gomaoa...thank you," Hakyeon replied, looking so relieved and happy that Hongbin couldn't even regret his answer, even though he was already starting to feel more than guilty toward Taekwoon.

 


	10. The Trip

Taekwoon's ears picked up the small sound of the dorm's entrance door falling closed, making him immediately sit back up in bed and continue to listen to the noises in the hallway. After finally hearing the faint yet louder growing sounds of two pairs of footsteps as they approached his door, Taekwoon's pulse started speeding up. Perhaps he'd been too hasty in his assumption that Hongbin and Hakyeon had forgotten or even failed to learn about his first win. Perhaps they were coming to see him now in order to congratulate him?

 

The sudden knock at his door had Taekwoon out of his bed and at the door within seconds, though he waited a bit longer before actually opening up, not wanting the two of them to know how eagerly he'd jumped out of bed just to see them...and how desperately he'd waited for them to come to him...to not avoid him anymore.

 

Taekwoon finally opened the door, his face a carefully controlled mask, making it impossible to guess how excited he actually felt to finally see Hongbin and Hakyeon again. Waiting for them to speak first, Taekwoon merely stared at them in silence.

 

          "Err...congratulations...for your first win," Hongbin started out a bit awkwardly, meeting his eyes for a split second and carefully reaching out to give him a congratulatory pat on the shoulder.

 

          "Ne...congratulations," Hakyeon added, not meeting his eyes and clearly keeping a distance from Taekwoon, who suddenly decided to take the initiative, walked toward him, and claimed the hug Hakyeon seemed to want to deny him.

 

As soon as Taekwoon's arms reached around Hakyeon's smaller body to hug him to his own, Hakyeon flinched and started to pull away again. Trying to overcome the awkwardness of the moment, he then patted Taekwoon on the shoulder, smiled - still awkwardly - and, instead of saying anything else, merely handed Taekwoon a flight ticket.

 

          "What's this?" Taekwoon asked while looking down at the ticket in his hand, ignoring the slight feeling of hurt at having been denied the warm and tender hug he was used to receiving from his hyung.

 

          "Let's go on a trip together - just the three of us...," Hongbin explained when Hakyeon didn't reply, "...We'll take the first flight after your promotional schedules end and we'll just...have some fun...for a few days."

 

Taekwoon couldn't believe it as he stood staring down at the flight ticket, which clearly had L.A. stated as the destination.

 

          "L.A.?" Taekwoon said excitedly, "Really?...Why?"

 

          "Just...in celebration of your first solo album...and your first win," Hakyeon said while shrugging with his shoulders, as though it was no big deal.

 

          "Well...thanks!" Taekwoon said happily, about to hug the two of them again to thank them properly. But the memory of how Hakyeon had reacted to his first attempt of doing so made him stop in his tracks.

 

          _It's okay,_ Taekwoon thought, convinced that once they went on their trip together the awkwardness would eventually subside and everything would go back to normal.

 

Even if he never found out why the two of them had avoided him for a while, he decided he wasn't going to ask them about it, since it seemed they'd gotten past it and wanted to spend time with him again. So, not wanting it to become even more awkward between all of them, he decided to just let sleeping dogs lie and not worry about it anymore.

 

♦ ♦ ♦ 

 

Several days later, Hongbin found himself staring up at the hotel in L.A. at which Hakyeon had reserved rooms for the three of them. Taekwoon's promotion schedules had ended two days ago. So, they'd quickly packed their bags and said goodbye to the other members - who still seemed a bit sour about not having been asked to join them even after Hakyeon had maintained that it was important for just the three of them to go and that he couldn't explain it to them just then and they should simply trust him.

 

          "This must be a mistake," Hongbin finally said, needing to voice his misgivings about the kind of place they were supposed to be staying at.

 

While it wasn't a rundown building or a bad neighborhood - it was actually located right near the Santa Monica Beach - it also wasn't the kind of establishment the VIXX members had gotten used to staying at during their stays in other countries. And even though Hongbin was far from being the kind of person who needed luxury - he'd lived in a temple for a few years during his childhood, after all - he still didn't think this hotel suited them. Because although it looked like a clean and honest establishment, it also seemed like the kind of place one would find in the country. He suddenly doubted they even had internet, which was one thing - even if he could do without anything else - Hongbin quite honestly didn't want to be without.

 

          "Ani...," Hakyeon replied, looking as though he was more than ready to whip out his stank face if Hongbin continued to question his choice of lodging, "...Why? What's wrong with it?"

 

Knowing Hakyeon's moods, Hongbin decided to drop it, simply shaking his head in response and making sure Hakyeon didn't see his face as he dramatically rolled his eyes to vent his irritation. Well, he thought, it wasn't really a big deal. He could survive without internet or other comforts for a few days.

 

          "Hello...err...we...room...," Hakyeon said after stepping in front of the counter of the small hotel's reception once they'd made their way inside with their luggage.

 

          _Dear God,_ Hongbin thought, quickly stepping up to the counter, as well, in order to take over. Though Hakyeon's English wasn't actually that bad, he could immediately tell that he was already struggling with the words since it had been so long since any of them had spoken English.

 

          "Hello...," Hongbin said brightly, throwing a dazzling smile at the female receptionist, who seemed so stunned at first that she just gazed back at him in silence until finally catching herself staring.

 

          "Err...," the receptionist said, her cheeks suddenly a brightly glowing shade of red, "...yes, hello...Err...how can I help you, sir?"

 

          "We...reserved...rooms," Hongbin said, feeling relieved that he still remembered the right words.

 

          "Yes, okay. May I have your names, please?" the woman replied, immediately scrolling down the computer screen after Hongbin had given their names.

 

          "Aaah..., yes, well..." the receptionist started out awkwardly, clearly feeling uncomfortable about something, "...I'm so sorry...but we had a bit of a crisis two days ago...in one of the rooms a pipe burst unexpectedly...and I fear that the damage has spread to two of the rooms you had reserved...and well...the thing is...we're really booked out at the moment...so, only one of the rooms you reserved is available at this time...seeing as the other rooms have all been reserved, as well."

 

          "What did she just say?" Hakyeon quietly asked Hongbin in Korean.

 

Hongbin gulped before answering.

 

          "She said...there's only one room."

 

          "How is that possible? I clearly reserved three rooms," Hakyeon replied, seemingly about to get angry.

 

Hongbin quickly explained the whole situation - as far as he'd been able to understand, anyway - making Hakyeon calm down again. It was pretty clear that there had been an accident no one could have foreseen and it hadn't been intentionally done. So, there was really nothing they could do about it. And getting upset and raging at the receptionist surely wouldn't help.

 

          "So, what do we do now?" Taekwoon asked the other two, coming up behind them.

 

Hakyeon was silent for a long moment before letting out a resigned sigh.

 

          "We'll have to make do with it, I guess. We're only here for a few days and if we start looking for another place, it'll take too long and we won't be able to do any of the things we planned. So, let's just share the room. I'm sure there are camp beds we can request to be put in the room."

 

Ten minutes later, the three of them found themselves standing in the relatively small room and looking at the relatively small bed - the receptionist had apologized over and over again for not being able to accommodate them with even a single camp bed - and wondering how on earth the three of them should be able to share the only space available to sleep on. 


	11. Completely Mental

Hakyeon watched Taekwoon make his way through the crowd and finally reach the nightclub's bar to order drinks for the three of them. After reaching the hotel and bringing their luggage to their room, the three of them had taken turns showering and then headed out to the nearest nightclub. Leaning close to Hongbin's ear, Hakyeon used his chance now that they were alone to confer with him.

 

          "We've been here for two hours already, and every single woman I've tried to introduce Taekwoon to had turned around on her heels and left after three minutes," Hakyeon said, exasperation evident in his voice.

 

          "Yeah...that's because they immediately realize that Taekwoon couldn't be less interested. What irritates me more than that, though, is that instead of _actually_ turning around and leaving altogether, they just keep coming onto you, instead...And we seriously have other things to do...So why don't you keep yourself back a bit and stop flirting with them," Hongbin said.

 

          "I'm not flirting with them...I don't flirt," Hakyeon frowned as he denied Hongbin's allegations.

 

          "Sure you don't," Hongbin simply replied, his voice positively dripping with sarcasm.

 

          "Anyway...enough of that...," Hakyeon said, once again steering the conversation to more important issues, "What are we going to do about the fact that Taekwoon won't even engage in a simple conversation with any of the women we introduce him to? At this rate, there won't be a single one who'll go back to the room with him...Any brilliant ideas?"

 

          "No clue...," Hongbin said, "...but then, this was your idea in the first place, so maybe you should be the one to figure this one out. I've had about enough of watching Taekwoon reject every single woman he meets. I'd say if we haven't found anyone he's willing to talk to, much less jump into bed with, in the next thirty minutes we should just give up and call it a night. It was an incredibly stupid idea, to begin with."

 

Hakyeon ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Somehow, when he'd first planned this, he'd thought it would be easier. Sure, Taekwoon had always been shy around people he didn't know. But he was also a hot-blooded guy who, as far as he knew, had never had any sexual experiences.

 

They were far from Korea, far from prying eyes...No one at the club had recognized them; he doubted the people present there that night knew who VIXX were...Taekwoon was in a nightclub surrounded by beautiful, sexy girls...

 

Shouldn't he jump at the chance of finally getting to give in to his urges and become a 'real' man? Wasn't he already old enough to experience his first sexual encounter?

 

So why wasn't he even flirting with any of the hot girls? Hakyeon didn't believe for a second that Taekwoon wasn't interested in women. True, he remembered how Taekwoon had kissed him back that night, but he must have merely been in the moment...perhaps confused...and simply reacting to Hakyeon's mistaken advances. But just to be on the safe side - even if his dongsaeng wasn't gay - it was better to divert his attention to someone else. Once he was involved with someone else, Hakyeon was sure there would be no repetition of what had occurred that night.

 

          "I have an idea...," Hakyeon addressed Hongbin, his gaze just having settled on one of the women in the club who was hanging around the dance floor and watching the men around her as though she were on the prowl.

 

Though it wasn't that obvious from the way she conducted herself or from the clothing she wore, Hakyeon was almost 90% sure he had just spotted a real hooker. It was the way she regarded all the men around her in a rather businesslike manner instead of with real interest. Hakyeon quickly elbowed Hongbin to get his attention until his dongsaeng followed his gaze.

 

          "Is that a...a prostitute?" Hongbin asked, sounding outraged.

 

          "I'm pretty sure it is," Hakyeon said.

 

          "Hyung!...Don't you think that's taking it too far?!" Hongbin exclaimed.

 

          "Bin-ah...," Hakyeon addressed his dongsaeng, his gaze and voice pleading, "...please."

 

Hakyeon knew he was doing a terrible thing...but all reason had long left him. From the moment he'd remembered Taekwoon's kisses - which had kept him up for so many nights he'd already stopped counting - Hakyeon felt desperate to put it all behind him. And he felt he would only be safe once Taekwoon's attention was completely focused elsewhere.

 

In truth, it was completely mental...and he was well aware of it. And still, he hadn't been able to come up with another solution. Knowing full well that Hongbin would end up going along with anything he wanted as long as he pleaded for it hard enough, Hakyeon did his best to convince Hongbin and finally succeeded in the end.

 

While Taekwoon was still busy ordering their drinks, as it took quite a long time because the bar area was beyond crowded with people who wanted to order as well, Hakyeon and Hongbin secretly made their way over to the prostitute to hire her services for the night, going as far as to discuss all the particulates of how the three of them should proceed in order to lure Taekwoon into their trap. 


	12. Mission Impossible

Taekwoon silently followed Hakyeon, Hongbin, and the strange woman they'd just met at the club into their hotel room, wondering what the hell they were even doing in her company. Whose idea had it been to bring a stranger - who, by the way, looked like she was one of those easy girls his mother had always told him to stay away from - to their room late at night?

 

And Hakyeon's and Hongbin's explanations for why she was going back with them were simply ridiculous. What?...They wanted to spend the night drinking, talking, and getting the full experience of a foreign culture by getting to know some locals better? Then why did it have to be a woman? And how could they completely ignore everything they'd been taught by their very own culture? In Korea, it would have already been considered as scandalous behavior for a young woman to be in a room with a man at night. And here she was, in a small hotel room with three grown men. Had the two of them even once thought about the young woman's reputation?!

 

But when Taekwoon had tried to protest earlier, his objections had only fallen on deaf ears. They'd completely ignored him. So, he'd shut up and let them do what they wanted, seeing no point in fighting with them since they were on vacation and he didn't want to spoil their fun.

 

After they'd all scrambled into the room and closed the door behind them, Taekwoon watched the others settle themselves down cross-legged in a circle on the floor in front of the bed. Hakyeon quickly pulled the two bottles of soju they'd finally found in a Korean specialty store out of its paper bag and placed them in the center of the circle.

 

          "Taekwoon-ah...sit down," Hakyeon said, patting the floor between him and the stranger.

 

Reluctant to go anywhere near the woman who looked liked she'd already kissed way more than one or two guys in her young life, but feeling he had no choice, Taekwoon slowly approached the others and plumped himself down next to Hakyeon and the woman - being extra careful to sit closer to Hakyeon and as far away from the woman as possible.

 

In the end, it didn't matter how far away from her he sat, as her hands were continuously all over him the entire time the four of them sat drinking and talking - or in Taekwoon's case, listening while silently brooding and wishing he were anywhere else.

 

          "Boy...you are _such_ a hunk, you know that?" the woman - he believed her name was Candy, but who cared? - said, her hand once again settling on his thigh and starting to rub his leg suggestively.

 

The first few times it had happened, Taekwoon had flinched and pulled away. But nothing he'd done to keep her at bay had stopped her from repeatedly touching him in this intimate manner. In desperate search of help, which, however, didn't seem to be coming, his gaze swiftly flew to Hakyeon's face, only just catching the odd expression on it right before it vanished as though it had never been there.

 

          _Is he jealous?_ Taekwoon couldn't help but think, the only logical explanation for the expression he'd just seen, although it made absolutely no sense that he would be.

 

Just when they'd finally finished the two bottles of soju and Taekwoon was looking forward to seeing their guest leave, Hakyeon and Hongbin suddenly excused themselves, saying they wanted to get a bit of fresh air before going to bed. Taekwoon got up along with the others and followed them to the door, fully expecting the woman to leave with Hakyeon and Hongbin.

 

But before Taekwoon even knew what was happening, the others had left and Candy had locked the door behind them and turned around to confront Taekwoon, who was temporarily so stumped that she hadn't left that he just stood there staring at her.

 

A small, wicked smile crept over the woman's attractive face - making her appear even sexier - as she slowly came closer, her movements as sleek and graceful as those of a black panther...her predatory gaze just as dangerous. Every other man might have been drawn in and bewitched by her charismatic appearance at that moment. But Taekwoon couldn't appreciate anything about her...his thoughts continuously circling around the _one_ person he'd thought about the entire night.

 

          The one who'd just left him alone to be eaten alive.

 

          "Err...I think...you...leave," Taekwoon struggled with his English, already nervous enough from being overwhelmed and cornered like this.

 

          "But, Sweety, I'm not done with you yet," the woman replied, walking right up to him and shoving her hand beneath his t-shirt so swiftly that Taekwoon couldn't even react in time to keep her from fondling one of his sensitive nipples.

 

          "Aaaah," Taekwoon yelped in surprise and shock, immediately stumbling backward and falling onto the bed in his panic to get away from her.

 

Which only helped her corner him further as she jumped on top of him and started running one of her hands over his crotch. Taekwoon's body responded automatically, his bottom bucking up to unbalance her and throw her off of him. Not feeling sorry for her in the slightest as she was thrown right off of him to land on the hard floor with a loud thud, Taekwoon took the chance to scramble from the bed and retreat into the corner farthest from her. After sliding to the floor on trembling legs, he remained in that position, cowering with his arms protectively slung around him and his face so red and hot from embarrassment that one could have cooked an egg on it.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hakyeon was pacing up and down the hall in front of their hotel room door, feeling more restless by the second. Not for the first time that night, he found himself wondering what the fuck he was doing?! And not for the first time that night, he wanted nothing more than to charge into the room and pull that whore off of his best friend. The urge had grown and grown since the very first time he'd watched the woman's dirty hands creep all over Taekwoon's body.

 

           _What the fuck is wrong with me?! And why can't I just let her do what I paid her to do? Why the hell do I feel this restless and agitated when I'm getting what I wanted? Ugggghhhh._

 

Running his hands through his hair in utter frustration and confusion - and ignoring the equally tormented look on Hongbin's face as he stood gazing at him - Hakyeon once again walked up to the door to listen for sounds coming from the inside.

 

          "What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing, asshole?" Hakyeon could suddenly hear the woman's voice screaming at the top of her lungs, "You think you're _all_ that? How dare you reject my services...Do I look like I'm a beggar? I'm a professional, you douche. How dare you throw me to the ground like that?! I should have known that smallest friend of yours was full of shit when he paid me and said you actually wanted this and were only too shy to initiate it. Forget this shit. I don't need to be treated like this. I'm taking my money and leaving!"

 

Hakyeon felt shocked by the woman's words, having understood enough of her ranting to get the gist of what she'd just said. And what was worse, he was sure Taekwoon had, too. Which meant that he must have realized by now exactly _what_ the woman's occupation was and that Hakyeon - the 'smallest friend' had paid her to have sex with him and even lied to her saying he'd wanted it.

 

          _Oh God, oh God...oh fucking God!_

 

Hakyeon couldn't stand it...he couldn't stand himself! He wouldn't be surprised if Taekwoon ended up hating his guts for the rest of his life! And who could blame him? There was absolutely no question about it that Hakyeon had completely lost his mind and done the most despicable thing to his best friend because he'd been terrified of admitting that he'd developed feelings for him...terrified of what could happen if he didn't completely put paid to the recent development between them.

 

He'd been the most despicable coward! And now it looked like he might have forever ruined his relationship with his best friend!

 

Hakyeon couldn't deal with his own twisted emotions anymore, sliding to the floor right where he stood just as the door to their room was thrown open and the woman stormed angrily past him on her way toward the exit.

 

Through the open door, Hakyeon could clearly see Taekwoon sitting on the floor right opposite him, their bodies separated by only a few feet. Hakyeon's guilt-brimming eyes met Taekwoon's, a single tear starting to slide down Hakyeon's face as the look in Taekwoon's eyes started to change, the glint of outrage and condemnation directed at Hakyeon burning a path straight into his suddenly aching heart. 


	13. Sleepless in L.A.

Hakyeon already saw what Taekwoon was about to do even before his dongsaeng suddenly jumped up from the floor and charged at him. With his hand fisted tightly in the front of Hakyeon's shirt, Taekwoon dragged Hakyeon into their room, completely ignoring Hongbin, who'd rushed up to Taekwoon and grabbed his wrist to keep him from using excessive violence.

 

A tangle of arms and legs, the three of them moved into the room, Hongbin throwing the door closed behind them to avoid attracting too much attention. While Hongbin still tightly held onto his wrist - Taekwoon not even bothering to shake him off...as though Hogbin weren't even there - Taekwoon backed Hakyeon straight up against the wall and pinned his arms to it, dragging Hongbin right along with them as though he were nothing but a doll.

 

          "Hyung, I get that you're angry...you have every right to be...but please...just let him go...and let's talk," Hongbin said, still holding on to Taekwoon's wrist.

 

          Taekwoon ignored him.

 

Hakyeon found he couldn't look into Taekwoon's eyes, his gaze instead fixed to one of Taekwoon's arms, watching the muscles flex as he held him against the wall.

 

          "Why?" Taekwoon asked, his voice lower and darker than Hakyeon had ever heard it.

 

When Hakyeon didn't answer - not knowing how to even try to explain why he'd done it or justify his actions when he knew that they were simply unjustifiable - Taekwoon finally shook off Hongbin's hand and released Hakyeon's wrist to tightly grasp Hakyeon's chin, instead, lifting his head up until Hakyeon's gaze finally met his own.

 

          "Why?" he asked again, a spark of hurt now accompanying the glint of anger in his eyes.

 

Hakyeon couldn't speak past the lump suddenly lodged in his throat, the only thing escaping him in lieu of words were more tears slowly sliding down his face...tears he had no right to shed in the first place after what he'd done to Taekwoon.

 

          "Why? - Why? - Why?!" Taekwoon asked over and over again, his hands now at Hakyeon's shoulders, giving him a light push everytime he asked as though to provoke the truth right out of him. 

 

When Taekwoon finally started shaking him - though not hard enough to actually hurt him - Hakyeon heard the words he hadn't ever wanted to say just suddenly spill from his mouth, unable to stop himself.

 

          "Because...I'm...afraid...," Hakyeon finally admitted, "...because...because since the night we...kissed...I can't...can't get you out of my head...and...and I don't want to feel...what I feel...for you...I wanted to...distract you...by pushing you to be...with...someone else."

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hongbin could clearly see the wheels spinning behind Taekwoon's eyes as the latter tried to make sense of Hakyeon's words and actions. Hongbin had to admit that he hadn't seen those words coming. He hadn't thought Hakyeon would ever actually outright admit having feelings for Taekwoon. And he was sure that his hyung hadn't really meant to admit it. But now that he had, Hongbin could see that, although shocked that he'd done so, he also seemed relieved at not needing to hide his true feelings anymore. Hongbin suddenly wished he could come clean, too. 

 

          "Won't you let him go, first?" Hongbin addressed Taekwoon, unable to watch his hyung pin Hakyeon against the wall any longer - no matter how much he actually deserved it...and more.

 

Hongbin could see at once that it had been a mistake to talk to Taekwoon at that moment. Because as soon as Taekwoon's attention turned to Hongbin - and Taekwoon seemed to realize that Hakyeon couldn't have been the only one in on the plan to get him laid - Taekwoon released Hakyeon only to grab a hold of Hongbin, instead, starting to shake him just as he'd done with Hakyeon.

 

          "How about you? What's your brilliant excuse?...Huh?...Why would you agree to help him?!" Taekwoon demanded.

 

The simple answer to that echoed through Hongbin's mind and already lay on the very tip of his tongue.

 

Now all he had to do was dredge up the courage to actually say it out loud. Remembering the relieved look that had come over Hakyeon as soon as the truth about his feelings for Taekwoon had finally made it out into the open - and realizing that he might never get another chance to tell Hakyeon how he felt if Taekwoon continued to sweep Hakyeon off his feet and took him away from him - Hongbin took a deep breath and finally said what needed to be said.

 

          "Because Hakyeon hyung was desperate...because he needed my help...because I would do _anything_ for him, no matter how terribly wrong it might be...because...because I'm...in love...with him."

 

He'd finally said it. Even if Hakyeon only had eyes for Taekwoon and wouldn't be moved by his words...at least he'd finally said how he felt so that he wouldn't regret having kept silent later. Without even looking at Hakyeon, even though he'd noticed the way his head had immediately spun in his direction after hearing what Hongbin had said, Hongbin escaped to the bathroom and locked himself inside, needing a moment to calm down his now frantically beating heart. He simply hadn't been able to stay to see the look on Hakyeon's face - fearing it would be one of utter rejection - and he hadn't expected to receive an answer from him anyway.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

At three o'clock in the morning, Taekwoon found himself lying awake, still trying to fully make sense of Hakyeon's words. After Hongbin had confessed being in love with Hakyeon - something Taekwoon, and probably Hakyeon as well, had never seen coming - the three of them had completely ignored each other.

 

Despite each of them being lost in his own thoughts and all three of them suddenly feeling incredibly awkward around each other in light of everything that had been revealed, they had, nevertheless, silently squeezed into the small bed together, though being careful not to lie to close to each other - which was actually quite impossible as the bed was much too small.

 

Taekwoon, who was lying to Hakyeon's left - with Hongbin sleeping to Hakyeon's right - could feel his hyung's warm breath brush against his skin as he lay with his back to Hakyeon's front - the two of them almost spooning...if Hakyeon had been lying any closer. The words Hakyeon had said in the heat of the moment - which he probably wouldn't have if Taekwoon hadn't confronted him in the way that he had - kept echoing through Taekwoon's mind, no matter how hard he tried not to replay them.

 

At first, all Taekwoon had felt - despite Hakyeon's confession - was an overwhelming amount of anger and even greater hurt. He simply couldn't believe what Hakyeon had done...couldn't get past the betrayal he'd felt. But as the hours and minutes ticked by with Taekwoon lying in thickest silence, the only audible words the ones running through his mind the entire time, Taekwoon couldn't help but realize just how desperate Hakyeon must have been and how great his newly discovered feelings for Taekwoon must, in turn, be to make him do something so utterly crazy.

 

So, by the time the clock neared four in the morning - Hakyeon's words and the heated kiss from that night, which Taekwoon still hadn't been able to forget for a second, the only things on his mind - Taekwoon simply couldn't stop himself from turning around to gaze at his hyung while he slept...only to find him wide awake, his eyes suddenly staring back at him with a mixture of shock and excitement.

 

Taekwoon didn't know what to do. Though he was sure he shouldn't be so spineless as to just forgive him so easily, the rational part of his brain seemed to have been completely shut down by the part that had been busy remembering Hakyeon's fiery kisses all night. Unable to think clearly, only filled with the sudden, overwhelming need to feel those soft lips and warm tongue against his own, Taekwoon swooped in without a second thought - and without realizing that Hongbin was just as awake as the rest of them - and pressed his lips against Hakyeon's.

 

           "Get off of him...," Hongbin suddenly exclaimed from behind Hakyeon, pulling Taekwoon off of him and whirling Hakyeon's body around to face his own, instead, "...he's mine."

 

Taekwoon couldn't believe his ears.

 

          "Where were you when he said he had feelings for _me_? Weren't you standing right there? I'm sure you heard him all too clearly. And I'm sure you knew even before that...am I right? So why even bother to pretend he's yours?" Taekwoon said, remaining utterly calm as he was sure he was right and that Hongbin didn't stand the slightest chance.

 

          "That's because he kissed you first. If I'd been the one to bring him to bed that night, things would be very different," Hongbin claimed, seeming utterly convinced of what he'd just said.

 

          "What are you even saying right now?" Taekwoon confronted him.

 

          "Just...that I want a fair chance," Hongbin said.

 

And before Taekwoon knew what had happened, Hongbin's hand had moved to the nape of Hakyeon's neck as he moved in to kiss him. 

  



	14. Wanting it All

Hakyeon's breath was taken away along with his ability to think clearly or even react as Hongbin's mouth found his own, the soft yet thrilling touch of Hongbin's full and sensual lips immediately sending electricity through his veins. In a small corner of his mind, Hakyeon asked himself how it was even possible that he could be feeling this way. How could Hongbin's kiss send the same kind of delicious shivers through his body as Taekwoon's had? How could he suddenly feel attracted to two people at once?

 

          And what the fuck was he going to do about this?!

 

Before things could get even more out of hand than they already were, Hakyeon finally managed to get back to his senses, placing his hand between Hongbin's chest and his own and gently pushing him back until their lips finally separated.

 

The sad look on Hongbin's face as his body hovered above his own before moving back tore a hole in Hakyeon's heart, Hongbin's disheartenment at having been rejected written all over his face.

 

          "I'm sorry...," Hakyeon managed in a shaky voice as he quickly wove his way out from between the two bodies still tangled around him, "...I just...I need to think..."

 

After jumping from the bed, Hakyeon disappeared inside the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Continuously pacing up and down the small room, Hakyeon tried to make sense of what he was feeling. Everything had become so damn complicated in the space of only a few weeks that Hakyeon didn't even know where to start.

 

While trying to understand what had happened to make everything change, he'd just started to tell himself that he definitely hadn't felt anything for either of them before they'd started kissing him when a stray whisper in his mind suddenly reminded him of the many instances when he'd felt physically attracted to them throughout the years and of the loving bond they already shared as 'brothers'.

 

Now that he really thought about it, it seemed almost too easy to understand. He'd already loved them since long ago...the kind of love family or friends shared...a platonic kind of love. And though he'd always found them attractive, there had never before been any circumstances that had led to more skinship than was common between brothers or friends. And he'd never thought about what it would be like to kiss either of them...just as it had never crossed his mind that he could be sexually attracted to the same sex...until the kiss between Taekwoon and him had finally opened his eyes.

 

But what the fuck was he supposed to do with this knowledge now that he actually found himself feeling attracted to not one but two of his fellow members at the same time? Not to mention the fact that both of them seemed to want to be with him...and not to mention the fact that Hakyeon couldn't even deal with the fact that he felt attracted to the same sex.

 

          It was all too much!

 

Hakyeon paced the length of the bathroom for what felt like hours before he finally made his way back into the bedroom, still not any the wiser about how to resolve the mess all of them found themselves in.

 

Because it seemed like both of them wanted to be with him. He couldn't for one moment forget how Hongbin had confessed to being in love with him. And though Taekwoon hadn't directly said it, he sensed his dongsaeng also had deeper feelings for him. He didn't think this was just about lust on either of their parts.

 

But if Hakyeon chose one over the other - if he even felt brave enough to finally embrace this unknown and scary yet at the same time thrilling side of him - then one of them would surely feel devastated. After having seen the dejected look on Hongbin's face when he'd pushed him back, Hakyeon couldn't even bear to think about the hurt he would cause one of them if he chose to be with the other.

 

          And which one of them would he choose in the first place?

 

Though Taekwoon had been the first one he'd kissed and their kiss had undoubtedly been more intimate and heated, he'd felt just as electrified by the mere touch of Hongbin's lips to be able to tell whom of the two he felt more attracted to. And he'd always loved them equally as brothers. So, where to even start to place one above the other?

 

Both of them held a special place in his heart...

Both of them made him feel things he thought he'd never feel for another male...

Both of them had always been attractive and sexy, each in his own, slightly different way...

Both of them...both of them...

 

Hakyeon's mind was almost in more turmoil than it had been before as he now stood gazing down at them and watching them sleep, suddenly becoming fully aware of the fact that he was starting to want something impossible, something even more shocking to him than wanting to be intimate with another man...something he shouldn't want...shouldn't even be thinking about!

 

But whether he should or shouldn't...and whether or not it was a sin to even think along those lines, Hakyeon suddenly found himself fantasizing about having it all. If he were to take that leap into the utterly unknown - and perhaps he just ought to embrace his newly discovered sexuality, considering the gigantic mess he'd already made by trying to run away from it - then he wanted everything...wanted them both!

 

Before this crazy thought could lead him to do anything stupid on the spur of the moment, Hakyeon pushed it to the very back of his mind and tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach at the thought of what the three of them might do together as he quietly lay down between them, careful not to wake them.

 

The minutes passed like hours as Hakyeon lay between his two brothers, trying to ignore how impossibly close their bodies were to his own or how all he suddenly seemed to want to do was reach out and touch them. Despite his struggles and because he was too tired to resist anymore, Hakyeon finally drifted off to sleep just as the sun started to come up over the horizon.

 


	15. Term

Soft rays of sunlight shone through the thin fabric of the curtains, bathing the bed in a welcoming warmth as Hakyeon slowly opened his eyes. He didn't know how late it was or how much sleep he'd actually managed to get - probably not that much, seeing as he'd only fallen asleep when the sun had already started to rise. But he immediately felt wide awake upon realizing the position he was lying in: trapped between two larger bodies.

 

With his forehead slightly pressed against Taekwoon's clothed chest and Hongbin's body pressing up against his own from the back, both of their arms tightly slung around his body while their legs were tangled with his own, Hakyeon held his breath, listening to their soft breathing and the suddenly wild beating of his heart.

 

          _Holy shit! How did we end up like this?_ Hakyeon wondered, feeling both of their morning woods press against his lower body, making heat pool in a certain area; the two of them must have unconsciously snuggled closer to him as they'd slept.

 

When Hakyeon tried to wriggle out from between them before his 'little problem' could develop into a full-on erection, Taekwoon shifted slightly in his sleep, scooting further down so that his face was suddenly right in front of Hakyeon's, Taekwoon's tongue unconsciously sliding across his lower lip.

 

Hakyeon's breath caught in his throat, his dongsaeng's inviting, slightly moist lips right in front of him...teasing him. Hakyeon didn't think, merely reacting to the sudden urge to once again feel those incredible lips against his own.

 

A soft noise escaped Taekwoon's throat after Hakyeon moved in to kiss him. A split second later, Taekwoon's eyes flew open and he pulled back to look at him in utter astonishment. Hakyeon waited for him to say something, but was surprised when Taekwoon's suddenly distracted gaze looked right past his shoulder, the expression on his face abruptly changing into one of uncertainty.

 

With a sinking feeling, Hakyeon realized he could no longer hear Hongbin's steady breathing. It seemed Hongbin had woken when Hakyeon had kissed Taekwoon. A moment of utter silence was soon followed by several more, all three of them holding their breaths.

 

Before Hakyeon could try to explain his actions to Hongbin, his dongsaeng had abruptly started pulling back the arm still slung around Hakyeon's waist. Hakyeon immediately reacted, managing to catch Hongbin's wrist before he could pull completely away from him. After quickly turning around between their imprisoning bodies while tightly holding onto Hongbin's wrist to keep him from leaving, Hakyeon ignored the look of hurt on Hongbin's face as he moved closer and tenderly kissed him as well.

 

The immediate and very audible hiss coming from behind his back was a clear indication that, just like Hongbin had reacted before, Taekwoon wasn't taking it very well that Hakyeon was kissing someone else.

 

          "What is this?" Taekwoon suddenly confronted him, grabbing his upper arm to pull him away from Hongbin and turn him onto his back so that he could see his face. "What exactly are you doing right now?"

 

Taekwoon's eyes were glinting with anger, silently throwing daggers at him for having kissed Hongbin. And Hakyeon couldn't blame him. Not having known how to actually tell them that he wanted to be with both of them, and fearing that Hongbin would run away thinking he'd chosen Taekwoon over him, he'd automatically acted, needing Hongbin to know that he hadn't chosen Taekwoon. He suddenly realized how stupid his approach was. True, sometimes actions spoke louder than words. But in this case, Hakyeon realized he should have just talked to them first. Just why was he continuously making such stupid mistakes?

 

          "Was I wrong to just assume that...that the two of you wanted to...be with me?" Hakyeon asked, his usually ironclad confidence suddenly no longer to be found, though he tried not to let them notice just how insecure he felt at that moment; in light of his actions, the two of them might just end up turning him down - especially when he told them that he wanted them both.

 

At first, Hakyeon thought they wouldn't answer. But after a few moments' hesitations, Hongbin uttered a quiet 'no' while Taekwoon merely shook his head once.

 

          "Then this is my answer. I know I behaved in a stupid...and childish manner. I didn't want to face the fact that...I feel drawn to you. But I feel just as attracted to Hongbin. So, I'm ready to give this thing between us a shot...but I'm not ready to choose...don't make me choose," Hakyeon said, his voice soft and pleading, hoping the two of them would understand.

 

          "Are you saying you...you want to be with... _both_ of us...at...at the same time?" Hongbin burst out, his tone of voice just as incredulous as the look on Taekwoon's face.

 

          "Yes," Hakyeon simply replied.

 

          "That's insane!" Hongbin exclaimed while Taekwoon silently shook his head in disbelief, his eyes positively glaring into Hakyeon's now as if he hoped he could cure him of this insanity by looking at him intently enough.

 

          "That's the only way I'm going to get involved with you...I won't choose...I _can't_ choose...so don't try and make me. If you want me...that's my term. It's either both of you...or neither," Hakyeon said, his voice soft yet his words firm, "I'd understand, though...if you had rather walk away from...this."

 

Hakyeon held his breath as he waited for their verdict. He knew he was asking a lot of them. None of them had ever even been in a same-sex relationship. It was all completely new to them. And now he was aking them to tolerate a third person in the relationship they'd envisioned being in with him...was asking them to choose between a same-sex, three-way relationship and no relationship at all.

 

And though Hakyeon suddenly wasn't at all sure they would accept his term and would still want to be with him despite everything he was asking of them, he had no choice but to remain firm. Because there simply was no way he would choose one over the other. This was it, and they would either take it or leave it.

 

And although it would be entirely his own fault if they didn't want to be with him anymore after all the shit he'd put them through and what he was asking of them, Hakyeon very much hoped they would agree to his condition. Because he suddenly wanted nothing more than to be with them...to finally feel their touch...to discover every little thing about them, including the expressions on their faces in their most intimate moments.    

 


	16. The Decision

Hongbin could feel his body shivering as he lay next to Hakyeon, not sure what would happen next. After Hakyeon's words that morning, the three of them had avoided the topic for the rest of the day, Hongbin and Taekwoon needing time to think about their situation. They'd done some sightseeing, went to the beach, spent some time in the ocean riding the wild, crashing waves with their bodies - all without talking too much with one another, the awkwardness they'd started to feel in each other's company present at every moment, no matter what they did.

 

Even though they hadn't really talked, it was clear that they all shared the same thoughts. Thoughts about what would happen that night...thoughts about whether or not they would actually go through with starting a relationship.

 

After having returned from the beach, showering, having a late dinner together, and watching some rather boring tv-shows in a language they didn't even understand - just for the sake of having something to do, something to distract them - the time had finally come for them to go to bed.

 

           The time had finally come for them to find out how far they were willing to go...

           Or if one or perhaps all of them would want to back out of it in the end...

 

Hongbin's gaze found and held Taekwoon's, who was lying on Hakyeon's left, both of them positioned on their sides facing each other while Hakyeon lay on his back between them. Since it was always extremely hard to read Taekwoon - his real emotions often hidden behind a mask, especially in situations like this when he was out of his comfort zone - Hongbin simply couldn't tell what he was thinking...if he would agree to Hakyeon's condition or run away from this situation.

 

           "And...," Hakyeon suddenly interrupted the oppressing silence, "...have the two of you thought about what I said this morning?"

 

When his question remained unanswered, Hakyeon repeated it.

 

          "Hongbin-ah...have you decided?" he addressed Hongbin directly, turning his head toward him to gaze into his eyes.

 

Hakyeon's voice had been soft, calm, and unhurried, clearly conveying that he understood the inner turmoil Hongbin must be feeling...and that, although he would really like to know, he nevertheless wouldn't pressure him for an answer if he wasn't ready to give one - which was what made Hongbin suddenly find the answer he'd been looking for all day.

 

Indeed, he'd spent the whole day fighting an internal battle with himself...he'd spent _years_ already fighting a full-scale war against the feelings he'd developed for Hakyeon. He no longer felt like fighting anymore. And although he knew he wasn't  _entirely_ getting what he'd wanted, what he'd dreamt about for so long, and that he could end up getting his heart ripped into pieces, he simply couldn't ignore his _one_ chance to finally be with Hakyeon. It was something he'd never before thought possible because he'd never thought Hakyeon could feel something for another man.

 

So, the bottom line was: This might be his one and only chance, the chance he'd waited many years for already...and nothing was going to stop him from seizing it!

 

Having finally decided, Hongbin simply bent over his hyung and kissed him, pulling back after a few moments. Hakyeon sent him a shy, little smile before turning his head to the other side to address Taekwoon.

 

          "Taekwoonnie?" Hakyeon asked, abruptly sounding a bit nervous.

 

Although he was trying to hide it, his apprehension was palpable. Because everything was hinging on Taekwoon's answer. If he refused, the three of them would go back to being nothing more than members of the same group. Hongbin wasn't even sure if they could return to the way things had been before when they'd felt as close as real brothers. Because now that even deeper feelings were involved, everything had changed too much between them for them to remain that close without being together. It would simply be too painful. Wearing his heart on his sleeve, his emotions clearly showing in his eyes, Hongbin's gaze met and held Taekwoon's as the latter decided their fate.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Taekwoon hadn't missed the slight tremor in Hakyeon's voice or the spark of fear and uncertainty in Hongbin's suddenly pleading eyes as he locked gazes with him. Trying not to let the others' emotions influence his decision because he needed to stay true to his own feelings and figure out what he really wanted, Taekwoon took a long time to answer. When he finally did, he chose to convey his decision in the same, nonverbal way Hongbin had, simply moving in to steal Hakyeon's kiss.

 

In the end, the conclusion he'd come to was a simple one: he was already in far too deep to see a way out without putting himself through a lot of pain and suffering. And even if this decision turned out to be completely wrong and everything went up in flames soon after, Taekwoon knew himself well enough to realize that he would forever regret not having embraced the chance to be with Hakyeon, even if it meant having to share him with Hongbin.

 

          And so, Taekwoon had consented and sealed their agreement with a kiss. 

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hakyeon's heart skipped a beat as Taekwoon and Hongbin both moved closer to him at the same time, their larger bodies imprisoning his smaller one between them. For a split second, he found himself panicking, wondering if what they were about to do would really be okay, even though _he'd_ been the one to insist that the _three_ of them be together.

 

But his thoughts and fears were soon driven from his mind as their lips started leaving hot, burning trails across the sensitive skin of his neck, their joint, soft kisses and their warm breaths against his already heated skin giving him chills. After the first few hesitant kisses, the two of them started growing bolder.

 

Hakyeon's heart started pounding wildly against his chest when Taekwoon's tongue dipped into his ear while Hongbin grabbed him by the nape of his neck, angled his head back, and kissed him deeply, ravishing his mouth with his tongue.

 

Hakyeon kissed him back just as fiercely, though only part of his attention was focused on the kiss. The other part was being drawn to a very different region of his body...to Taekwoon's large hand gently stroking his already halfway hard member through the thin material of his pajama bottoms - which were starting to become too tight. A moment later, Hongbin's mouth had returned to his neck while his hand snuck underneath Hakyeon's pajama top to tease one of his nipples.

 

          "Aaaah...," Hakyeon moaned softly, drowning in the feeling of their lips, tongues, and hands slowly stroking him all over his body.

 

Almost as soon as Hongbin had stopped kissing Hakyeon, Taekwoon moved in to claim his mouth for himself, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip until Hakyeon parted his lips for him. The movements of Taekwoon's tongue were wild, hot, and desperate...the kiss sexy and excitingly adult. Soon, the movements of his hand grew more daring, as well, as it slid beneath Hakyeon's pajama bottoms and briefs without warning to caress his bare, now fully erect cock.

 

          "Aaaarrggghhh...," another, this time louder, moan escaped Hakyeon's throat, the sound disappearing into Taekwoon's mouth as he continued kissing him.

 

When Hongbin unbuttoned Hakyeon's pajama top, exposed his chest, and started leisurely sucking on one of his perked up nipples while Taekwoon's hand wrapped around his erection and started to pump, Hakyeon turned into a complete mess.

 

After a few minutes of this special treatment, Hakyeon was already on the verge of coming. It had been too long since he'd last satisfied his needs, and their touches, as well as the excitement from what the two of them were doing to him together, were already driving him over the edge. Hakyeon felt the familiar building of pressure, threw his head to the side, and buried it in the crook of Taekwoon's neck in embarrassment as he suddenly spilled into his dongsaeng's hand and onto his own abdomen and chest.

 

          "Sorry...," Hakyeon mumbled, his head still nestled against Taekwoon's neck, "I...didn't mean to...to come...so early."

 

Even though they both assured him that it was okay, Hakyeon could feel his face heat up from humiliation - something that rarely happened to him because he always felt extremely confident about himself. But this time, he was mortified about having fallen to pieces at their hands so quickly and without even having given them any pleasure in return.

 

Needing to make it up to them, Hakyeon quickly brushed aside his embarrassment as well as he could, knelt between the two of them, pulled down their pants and briefs, and started to touch them, his hands simultaneously stroking their erections. Soft moans escaped both of their throats as Hakyeon's hands started pumping faster.

 

Everything went well for a few minutes, and Hakyeon felt elated at seeing how well the three of them were actually able to make love to each other without jealousy getting in the way...

 

...until Hongbin reached up, pulled Hakyeon's mouth down to his own, and started kissing him...and Taekwoon abruptly seemed to feel the need to compete with his dongsaeng. Suddenly, Hakyeon found himself being pulled to one side, then the other, his mouth attacked by both of them as they each tried to get the upper hand.

 

When their lips accidentally nipped at each other's instead of Hakyeon's as the latter quickly pulled away to escape their attacks, Taekwoon and Hongbin immediately moved away from each other as though they'd been zapped, horrorstricken expressions on both of their faces.

 

After seeing how his dongsaengs were suddenly behaving, Hakyeon withdrew his hands from their fully erect cocks, sat back on his hinges, and waited for them to give him their full attention before he spoke.

 

          "This isn't working...," Hakyeon said once he had their attention, "...I need the two of you to stop competing with each other."

 

When both Hongbin and Taekwoon opened their mouths, looking as though they were about to deny that they'd just been fighting, Hakyeon shushed them by pressing his forefinger against his lips and giving them a disapproving look.

 

          "So, I want you to do something for me...because otherwise, I don't think this...the three of us being together...is going to work." When they didn't ask but merely waited for Hakyeon's next words, he continued, "I'm going to take a bath...and by the time I come back out, I want the two of you to have taken care of each other...you know what I mean. And no cheating...no masturbating...I want you to touch _one another_."

 

Hakyeon looked at their completely shocked faces for another moment before getting up out of bed and heading for the bathroom. Even if they didn't like it, Hakyeon didn't see any other way to resolve the issue between them. The three of them couldn't really be together until Hongbin and Taekwoon grew emotionally closer and stopped feeling the need to continuously compete against one another.

 

Hoping they would do what he'd asked, though a small part of him couldn't help but feel a bit jealous at the thought of his dongsaengs doing this sort of thing without him, Hakyeon disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.   


	17. Spell

Hongbin lay right where Hakyeon had left him, his body suddenly trembling from nerves. Though he'd felt just as nervous when he'd started kissing and touching Hakyeon for the very first time, he'd managed it without having a nervous breakdown. It had been easy envisioning himself being intimate with Hakyeon because he'd dreamt and fantasized about being with him for so long. So, finally crossing that line between fantasy and reality hadn't been too difficult for him. He hadn't even needed to think about it for too long before he'd acted.

 

Now, things couldn't be more different. Hongbin was so far out of his comfort zone that he was starting to have trouble breathing just thinking about the things Hakyeon wanted him to do with Taekwoon. The door to the bathroom had closed behind Hakyeon more than five minutes ago, and Hongbin still hadn't managed to move a single muscle, even though he fully understood how important it was to Hakyeon for Taekwoon and him to become closer to each other. And though he would have loved nothing more than to please Hakyeon, Hongbin found it so incredibly difficult to fulfill his wish that he found himself unable to move.

 

Just as Hongbin was busy trying to think of a way out of following Hakyeon's demands, the door to the bathroom was suddenly thrown open and Hakyeon strode back into the bedroom with his hands resting on his hips and an expression of impatience on his face.

 

          "I knew the two of you weren't listening to me...," Hakyeon said, his tone of voice clearly showing his disappointment. "Won't you just please _for once_ do as I say?" he asked in a pleading voice, his lower lip jutting out as he pouted.

 

Hongbin couldn't resist this side of Hakyeon...he'd never been able to. Before he actually knew it, he was already silently nodding his head while scooting closer to Taekwoon, who was lying on his side facing him and silently watching his progression. Hakyeon seemed to feel assured and strode back into the bathroom, once again closing the door behind him.

 

Hongbin was now so close to Taekwoon that he could feel his warm breath softly gust against his face. While his mind flashed back to the incredibly sexy image of Taekwoon pleasuring himself, his cheeks involuntarily starting to turn pink at the very thought of his hyung in that position, Hongbin shyly lifted his eyes to meet Taekwoon's gaze.

 

The look on Taekwoon's face was reserved and unwelcoming, making Hongbin once again hesitate to approach him. As fellow members, they'd grown very close throughout the many years they'd spent together. Hongbin clearly remembered the many mouth-to-mouth games the two of them had had to endure over the years. For the sake of their many fans, they'd managed to get through them, even feeling more comfortable about it of late and managing to remain good-natured and have fun with each other.

 

But the situation now was completely different. There would be no paper separating their lips, no Pepero stick between them to bite off without their lips actually having to touch. Hakyeon expected them to become close - which meant not only touching but also kissing each other. And the look on Taekwoon's face clearly stated that he wanted neither of it.

 

But Hongbin couldn't take his hyung's feelings into account. The only thing that really mattered to him at this point was to not displease Hakyeon. He'd just had his first taste of what it felt like to be close to him...and he didn't want to ruin things right from the start. So, whether Taekwoon wanted Hongbin's advances or not, Hongbin wasn't going to back down now - not when he was so close to finally getting what he actually wanted.   

 

Trying to ignore the disapproving look on Taekwoon's face as well as the impossibly fast beating of his own heart, Hongbin plucked up every ounce of courage he possessed, slowly lifted his head, and planted a soft, chaste kiss on Taekwoon's lips, hoping the less aggressive, gradual approach would make Taekwoon more ready to accept his advances.

 

Taekwoon's lips felt warm and soft - softer than Hongbin had expected. After pulling back a bit to gaze into his eyes once more - the heated look he gave Taekwoon was thoroughly meant to seduce him - Hongbin moved in again and planted another kiss on Taekwoon's lips, this time lingering a bit longer. When Hongbin pulled back again he was just fast enough to see Taekwoon's eyelids flutter open again - it seemed he'd closed his eyes when Hongbin had kissed him again. The startled look in Taekwoon's eyes at having been caught swiftly disappeared to be replaced with a blank look.

 

Hongbin's heart skipped a beat...he hadn't expected Taekwoon to actually be moved in the slightest by his kiss. And while his lips had remained unresponsive, the fact that he'd shut his eyes meant that Hongbin's kiss had by no means left him as cold as he wanted Hongbin to believe.

 

Suddenly feeling encouraged, Hongbin swept in for another, this time deeper, kiss...his lips merely finding air as Taekwoon had actually pulled back when Hongbin had tried to kiss him again. Hongbin's eyes flew to Taekwoon's, the mask his hyung tended to hide behind failing for the space of a second, just long enough to reveal the spark of uncertainty and confusion in his eyes.

 

Hongbin didn't hesitate, his hand quickly moving to Taekwoon's neck to pull him toward him and hold him close as he kissed him none too gently this time - the blood boiling in his veins suddenly making him desperate to kiss him again, making it impossible for him to keep his composure and move slowly.

 

Taekwoon's body was struggling slightly beneath Hongbin, who'd moved on top of him as he'd kissed him, pressing him into the mattress. Hongbin could feel his hyung's lips tightly pressed together beneath his own and pulled back again to look down at him.

 

Though his hyung's lips remained firmly shut, he could clearly see that Taekwoon's resistance was crumbling, the mask having fallen off completely to reveal the soft look of vulnerability in his eyes. Hongbin's hand at his hyung's neck slowly traveled upward to gently comb through Taekwoon's hair, a soft sigh escaping Taekwoon's now slightly parted lips as the light in his eyes began to change, becoming warmer and softer. Hongbin continued to hold Taekwoon's gaze as his other - now slightly shaking hand - snuck beneath his hyung's t-shirt and started exploring his chest, the tip of his thumb finally finding and stroking his already hard nipple.

 

Hongbin moved in for another kiss when Taekwoon's lips parted even further with the breathless moan now escaping his throat as Hongbin continued to play with his sensitive nipple. Taekwoon's mouth was warm and inviting, his soft, moist lips starting to respond beneath the touch of Hongbin's lips. Another moan escaped his throat when Hongbin's tongue slid into his mouth and brushed against his own tongue.

 

Hongbin could feel his erection growing as the two of them kissed, the feeling of kissing and touching him much better than Hongbin would have ever imagined. And the delicate sounds of his moaning turning him on more than he would have guessed. Regardless of his will, Hongbin could feel himself being pulled further into Taekwoon's spell...


	18. Closer

Taekwoon was lost, drowning in the feeling of being touched and kissed by Hongbin. This wasn't at all what Taekwoon had expected. He'd expected it to feel awkward between them, he'd expected Hongbin's kisses - the kisses of someone who was like a real brother to him - to leave him cold. He'd thought he'd remain completely indifferent to his dongsaeng's touch.

 

           He couldn't have been more wrong.

 

Hongbin's hot mouth and demanding tongue were awakening a hunger for his dongsaeng he hadn't even known he carried inside. Unbidden, memories of the past floated back into his consciousness...memories of the times they'd been forced to get closer to each other for the sake of providing fan service...memories of having entertained wild thoughts at the time about what it might actually be like to kiss Hongbin. It had happened a long time ago, and recently there hadn't been any reasons to think about his dongsaeng in that way. So, he'd almost forgotten about those moments.

 

But they'd been real. Just as real as the fire now burning through his veins at the touch of Hongbin's lips and hands...the fire that finally drew him out of his rigor.

 

Taekwoon responded to Hongbin's heated kisses with just as much fire, his fingers reaching up to bury themselves in the soft hair at Hongbin's nape right before he lifted his dongsaeng from his body, flipped him onto his back - reversing their positions - and started invading Hongbin's mouth with his tongue, completely taking over the wheel. Though Hongbin seemed surprised at first, he didn't resist, letting Taekwoon take complete control.

 

After a few minutes of kissing - and feeling Hongbin's erection slide against his own from time to time as their bodies pressed against each other while kissing - Taekwoon pulled his mouth off of Hongbin's. While gazing intently into his dongsaeng's eyes, his hand slid between their bodies to touch Hongbin's cock; he wanted to see the look in the younger's eyes when he finally stroked him.

 

The silken skin stretched over hard steel felt warm and alive beneath Taekwoon's flesh as his hand slid up and down Hongbin's throbbing length, drawing soft moans from his dongsaeng's throat in response. Desperate to make even more of those exquisite sounds spill from Hongbin's mouth, Taekwoon's thumb quickly swept across Hongbin's slit to gather the accumulated beads of precum and slick up his erection with them, his hand then starting to glide along his erection faster and faster.

 

Hongbin's body started writhing beneath his own, his dongsaeng's eyes slamming shut and his back arching as he threw his head back, breathless moans now escaping his slightly parted, trembling lips. Taekwoon's gaze drew in the incredibly sexy image of his dongsaeng's overstretched neck, of his protruding Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he moaned, and of the soft, dark and long lashes elegantly fanning across his now pink, flushed cheeks. Suddenly, he wanted to watch Hongbin come completely undone at his hands.

 

Taekwoon's fingers left Hongbin's cock to swiftly unbutton his dongsaeng's pajama top. Then his mouth hungrily attached itself to Hongbin's trembling lips before gradually moving down his chin to kiss along the razor-sharp line of his jaw, across his bulging Adam's apple, and further down his body. The tip of his tongue naughtily teased his dongsaeng's perked up nipples and traced the rock-hard lines of Hongbin's abdominal muscles, which twitched wildly at the contact, before dipping into his navel...and finally flicking against the tip of Hongbin's leaking cock.

 

Hongbin's body jerked at the contact, a desperate and strangled little sound escaping him. Taekwoon's large hands grabbed Hongbin's hips and held him securely in place, a small smile tugging at his lips before his mouth finally closed around the very tip of Hongbin's erection.

 

          "Aaah...ough...aaaahhrrgg...," Hongbin moaned as Taekwoon started sucking on the head of his cock while pushing his hips into the mattress whenever his dongsaeng instinctively tried to thrust up into his mouth.

 

          "Please...," Taekwoon heard Hongbin plead, at first thinking he wanted him to bury his cock further in his throat instead of continuously teasing him by merely sucking on the tip until Hongbin continued, "...I want to...taste you, as well."

 

Taekwoon was caught off guard for a moment - long enough to allow Hongbin to push himself up into a sitting position and confront him.

 

          "Hyung...please...I want to do the same...to you," Hongbin said, his eyes imploring; he knew he couldn't do a thing to Taekwoon that the latter didn't want; Taekwoon was physically stronger and more aggressive, after all.

 

Remembering Hakyeon's words - that he wanted the two of them to take care of _each other_ \- Taekwoon finally gave in, even though he'd really liked having so much power over Hongbin...and even though he was finding it incredibly difficult to completely give himself over into someone else's care...being at someone else's mercy.

 

But for the sake of doing what Hakyeon wanted...what he'd sincerely and openly asked of him, Taekwoon found himself complying and lying down with his head at Hongbin's crotch and his own crotch directly in front of Hongbin's waiting mouth. Trying to continue where he'd left off and taking Hongbin's erection into his mouth once again, Taekwoon soon found it incredibly difficult to focus on what he was doing as Hongbin's mouth closed around his own throbbing erection and started doing the most deliciously teasing things with his tongue and teeth, driving Taekwoon completely out of his mind.

 

Even though Taekwoon no longer actually knew what he was doing, his mouth and hand seemed to move without conscious thought as he tried to give Hongbin pleasure while being totally wrecked by his dongsaeng in return, the two of them continuously moaning around a mouthful of each other's cocks.

 

And before Taekwoon actually knew he was close, he could already feel himself spilling into Hongbin's warm, wet cavern a few moments before his dongsaeng's own come filled his mouth and flooded his senses, the strong taste more foreign yet simultaneously more satisfying - _he_ was the  _one_ who had made Hongbin lose control and spill into his mouth like that! - than he would have ever imagined.

 

Taekwoon quickly swallowed the last remains of Hongbin's seeds and lay back down next to him, the two of them on their sides facing each other. In the aftermath of what they'd just done to each other, Hongbin's cheeks were still flushed pink in slight embarrassment when Taekwoon leaned toward him and stole a short but deep kiss, tasting himself on Hongbin's tongue while at the same time giving his dongsaeng a small taste of his own come.

 

Right after they pulled away from each other, the door to the bathroom opened and Hakyeon walked back into the room, freshly bathed with only a towel slung around his lower body. After looking at them for a moment, obviously taking in the fact that the two of them had done what he'd asked them to, Hakyeon silently lay down between them, pulled them close, and snuggled against them.

 

After first kissing each in turn before engaging all of them in an open-mouthed kiss, their lips and tongues stroking and merging as the three of them melted against each other, Hakyeon relaxed back against the mattress, holding both of them tightly against his body as the three of them slowly slipped into oblivion.

 

Even though they technically hadn't yet fully slept with each other, Taekwoon felt satisfied. And he was sure the other two did as well. There was no need to rush things. Seeing as their situation was still very new to each of them, they needed a bit more time to adjust...to learn how to be together...how to truly become one.

 

And Taekwoon was sure they would...soon.

 


	19. Two Against One

          "Thanks for the hard work," Hakyeon said, responding with the same phrase some of the other cast and crew members had addressed him with at the end of a long filming day.

 

Feeling satisfied with yet again having given his all for his new drama, Hakyeon quickly gathered his belongings and headed toward the car waiting to take him back to the dorm. And though it had been a long day and Hakyeon would normally have used the time in the car to catch up on the sleep he always lost when he was busy like he'd been these past few days, this was one of those times when Hakyeon felt wide awake...and nervous.

 

Taekwoon, Hongbin, and he had returned from their trip to L.A. about a week ago and hadn't had time to see each other ever since due to their busy, separate schedules. After Taekwoon and Hongbin had grown closer, the three of them hadn't really progressed that much in their relationship. Without having talked about it, it seemed they'd all been in agreement about needing a bit more time, seeing as none of them had any experience with being in a same-sex relationship.

 

So, they'd spent the last day of their vacation lazing about on the beach - rolling around in the sand and kissing each other under the cover of darkness as soon as the sun had set - and had spent most of the night kissing, doing some light petting, and snuggling beneath the covers until they'd fallen asleep. On the day they'd headed to the airport to fly back to Seoul, the three of them had agreed upon the date for their very first time...the first time the three of them would go all the way.

 

That night had finally come, and Hakyeon suddenly felt beyond nervous. Of course, he'd used the little time he'd had in between schedules and practice to prepare himself by searching the net for anything about gay sex that would give him an idea about what to expect...or do; he believed the others had probably done the same.

 

And he'd found the information...had found  _too much_ information. Which was why he was already shaking in his boots, feeling unsure about whether or not he could actually do all those... _things_...he'd seen or read about. Nevertheless, Hakyeon had made sure to discreetly order a bottle of lube, which had arrived a few days ago. One less thing to worry about; he didn't want to end up hurting his dongsaengs, after all. Because after what he'd seen after stumbling upon some gay porn...it had looked like it had hurt like a son of a bitch when that thick, long, and hard cock had been shoved up the other guy's ass!

 

After greeting Jaehwan, Wonsik, and Hyuk, whom he caught sitting at the living room table secretly munching on strictly forbidden foods like chips and chocolate bars - which he tried his hardest to ignore because he didn't have time for a lengthy discussion, though he couldn't keep himself from giving them the stank face that came to him as naturally as breathing air - Hakyeon made his way to his own room to take a quick shower.

 

          "What's up with Yeoni-hyung? Why didn't he start scolding us?" Hakyeon heard Jaehwan ask the others as he hurried away from them.

 

Hakyeon sighed, scolding himself rather than the others for acting so suspiciously out of character. Normally, he would have made a big fuss about his fellow members eating junk foods. But he had other things to worry about, so he just let it go. Hoping they'd forget about it soon and not be too curious about Hakyeon's change of attitude, he hurried to his room and jumped into the shower.

 

An hour later - after he'd made sure the others had left the living room and went to their own rooms - Hakyeon silently snuck from the dorm and headed toward the hotel at which Hongbin should have been able to get a room using a false name. Just as the taxi pulled up to the street leading to the hotel, Hakyeon received a text message in the chat room the three of them had specially created informing him of the hotel room number.

 

Feeling just as exhilarated as nervous - the way in which he found himself sneaking around at night to secretly meet his lovers was giving him an extraordinary thrill - Hakyeon finally made it to the right room and executed the secret knock the three of them had agreed on beforehand.

 

The door slowly opened to reveal Hongbin and Taekwoon, both of them smiling at him like idiots because they'd managed to get away with meeting like this. Hakyeon quickly entered and returned the same dorky smile.

 

          "No one saw your face when you got the room, right?...And no one saw you come up to his room, right?" Hakyeon quickly asked Hongbin and Taekwoon, needing to assure himself that they'd actually gotten away with this.

 

Both of them simply nodded in reply and Hakyeon let out a relieved sigh.

 

          "I actually thought it would be more difficult to meet like this. Although...it wasn't exactly that easy either, now was it. I honestly thought Jaehwanie, Wonsikie, and Hyukie weren't ever going to leave the living room and go to bed," Hakyeon said.

 

          "Yeah...I noticed you didn't even scold them about eating junk food," Hongbin said in a slightly sulking tone of voice, "Why do you always end up going easy on the three of them? If it had been _me_ , you wouldn't have let me off that easily."

 

          "Is _that_ really what's important right now? I can't believe you're bringing this up," Hakyeon replied, incredulous.

 

          "And _I_ can't believe the two of you are bickering again," Taekwoon interrupted, positioning himself right between them and stealing chaste kisses from each of them in turn - finally managing to stop them from even opening their mouths to continue their bickering.

 

Now that there was no more arguing to distract him, Hakyeon's mind returned to the situation at hand...to what the three of them had agreed on doing that night. Abruptly, he could feel his body start to tremble and his knees weaken. 

 

          "You're shaking?...What's wrong?" Taekwoon asked, grabbing him around the waist to support him and guide him over to the bed. "You're not...afraid...are you?" He asked once he'd set Hakyeon down on the bed and plumped himself down next to him.

 

          "Afraid?..." Hakyeon laughed nervously, "...Afraid of... _what_?"

 

Hakyeon noticed Taekwoon shoot a look at Hongbin, who'd just sat down on Hakyeon's other side, before replying.

 

          "Afraid of being penetrated, of course," Taekwoon said while slowly running his hand down Hakyeon's lower back and finally dipping his fingers underneath his butt to massage his hole through his thin jogging pants, his tone of voice so matter-of-fact as though there had never really been a doubt about who would bottom and top in their relationship.

 

          "What?" Hakyeon squealed, jumping in surprise when he felt Taekwoon's fingertips slightly dig into his hole through his pants.

 

          "Why are you so surprised?" Hongbin asked, sounding rather amused, "Who did you think was going to bottom?"

 

          "I...I don't know...Certainly not _me_ ," Hakyeon squealed in reply, now positively squirming between the two larger bodies as Taekwoon's and Hongbin's hands both traveled to his bottom to squeeze his cheeks and rub his hole through the thin fabric.

 

          "But you're much smaller than we are...and it never occurred to you that we'd want you to bottom?" Hongbin asked while starting to kiss Hakyeon's throat in a way that was starting to take the fight right out of him.

 

          "No...no...it didn't...I...I...stop distracting me...like that..." Hakyeon said, his voice now breathy and without strength or even real conviction as Taekwoon joined in and started to nibble on his ear, making him even weaker, "...Why do...the two...of you...always...bully me..."

 

          "Because we like bullying you so much...," Hongbin naughtily breathed into his ear before dipping his tongue in while seductively running his hand over Hakyeon's growing erection through his clothing. 

 

Hakyeon's objections to being penetrated completely went up in smoke, his will turning weak and his body growing needy as Taekwoon and Hongbin slowly undressed him and started running their hands and tongues all over his body...


	20. Sated

Hakyeon lay panting, already rendered breathless by his dongsaengs' hot kisses and the naughty brushes of their hands against his naked, shivering skin. While he was still trying to catch his breath, the other two quickly rid themselves of their clothing. Before Hakyeon knew it, they were lying next to him again, continuing right where they'd left off.

 

While Hongbin's hand was slowly stroking his erection, Taekwoon's fingertips were leisurely sliding up and down Hakyeon's body, gently kneading his feverish skin. Abruptly, his movements stopped and he slightly lifted Hakyeon's body to roll him onto his side so that he now found himself facing Hongbin and lying with his back against Taekwoon's chest.

 

Hakyeon could feel the hard muscles of Taekwoon's chest ripple where their bodies touched when his dongsaeng lifted his arm and started running his large hand across Hakyeon's side, making him tremble when he brushed his fingers over his lower abdomen - Hongbin's hand, which was stroking his cock, touching Taekwoon's fingers as their hands were so close to each other.

 

Hakyeon's attention was suddenly grabbed by Hongbin's hungry lips and insatiable tongue as they invaded his mouth. Nevertheless, he still didn't miss the moment when Taekwoon's hand returned to his lower back, slowly sliding further down to his butt to tightly grab one of his cheeks before pinching it slightly.

 

Hakyeon gasped into Hongbin's mouth, the muscles in his butt reacting at the same time and clenching his hole tighter together. Expecting Taekwoon to continue fondling his butt, Hakyeon was surprised when he abruptly found Taekwoon's hand reach around him and his thumb brush against his lower lip as soon as Hongbin had pulled back from the kiss.

 

Hakyeon's breath hitched in his throat as Taekwoon's thumb kept playing with his mouth, gently forcing it open wider. With closed eyes and baited breath, he waited to find out what his dongsaeng would do next, feeling a bit taken aback when he suddenly felt two of Taekwoon's long fingers slide into his mouth right up to the knuckles.

 

          "Get them nice and wet for me, hyung," Taekwoon softly whispered into his ear before trailing the tip of his tongue over the rim.

 

Hakyeon could feel his cock jerk and his entrance spasm at Taekwoon's words. He couldn't believe this was actually _Taekwoon_! Where the fuck had his shy dongsaeng gone? The one who'd replaced him was incredibly sexy...and naughty...and positively oozing a confidence Hakyeon hadn't known he would possess in this kind of situation. Was this really the innocent - well, more or less innocent - dongsaeng Hakyeon had thought he knew inside and out?

 

           Impossible!

 

Then again, Hongbin hadn't turned out so innocent either. Both of them were being much more forward, much more fierce and seductive than Hakyeon would ever have imagined. Was he the only one who felt like he was drowning...like he was being completely overwhelmed?

 

Hakyeon's train of thought was suddenly lost as he felt Taekwoon remove the fingers he'd obediently yet somewhat unconsciously sucked on. Even though he was sure he knew what was coming - having seen it in brilliant color and HD when he'd tried to educate himself - Hakyeon was nevertheless totally unprepared for the actual feeling.

 

Hakyeon's eyes were still shut, his mouth slightly hanging open in anticipation as Taekwoon gently pulled his butt cheeks apart and brought the wet tip of one of his fingers to Hakyeon's as yet untouched hole. A small gasp escaped Hakyeon's parted lips when his dongsaeng started rubbing the wet tip of his finger around the rim of his hole, making his muscles repeatedly twitch. A moment later, his long and slick finger started to slowly push inside.

 

Hakyeon's butt clenched violently, the muscles in his ass attacking the unfamiliar object suddenly being pushed up his hole. A low, throaty moan escaped him...a sound somewhere between surprise...uncertainty...pain...and...lust.

 

Taekwoon's and Hongbin's lips peppered Hakyeon's throat and mouth with soft kisses as they tried to soothe him.

 

          "Sorry for hurting you, hyung...it'll be okay in a moment," Taekwoon assured him.

 

           "You're doing well. Just breathe, hyung," Hongbin added, softly kissing his lips as if to kiss the pain away.

 

After a slight pause to give him some time to recover - in which Taekwoon gently removed his finger, grabbed a bottle of lube he seemed to have brought, and carefully lubed it - Taekwoon inserted his finger once more and started to move it, this time sliding it in all the way until Hakyeon could hear the moan escaping his own throat grow louder - Taekwoon's fingers were incredibly long!

 

Before Hakyeon knew how exactly they'd gotten to that point, he soon found himself writhing around on his back between his dongsaengs, his legs spread apart as Taekwoon and Hongbin fucked him with no less than four fingers - two each - while simultaneously licking and sucking on his nipples.

 

          "Aaargghh...oughh...aaaahh...aaah...unnggg," Hakyeon moaned, his voice soon becoming breathless as his dongsaengs' thrusting fingers sped up and his legs started shaking like crazy.

 

Hakyeon couldn't take it anymore, his dongsaengs' constant attacks finally sending him over the edge. His toes curled and the muscles in his abdomen and ass twitched as he came, white threads of his come shooting from his thickening cock to paint his chest white while his hole clenched tightly around Taekwoon's and Hongbin's still thrusting fingers.

 

          "Waaa...you came a lot," Hongbin said while teasing him by continuously sliding his fingers in and pulling them almost all the way out even though Hakyeon had just come...keeping it up until Hakyeon found himself actually whimpering.

 

          "Now, let's get to the good part," Taekwoon said as he pulled his fingers out, making Hakyeon's head shoot toward him in disbelief.

 

          "You can't be serious...I only just came...I'm not...ready...for more...yet," Hakyeon tried his best to convince them, but the two of them turned out to be utterly relentless, the blood still rushing mainly to their dicks - since they hadn't found their own releases yet - making them persist in seducing Hakyeon, who once again found himself their helpless prey, albeit in a good way.

 

Hakyeon immediately stopped objecting...stopped thinking altogether when his dongsaengs' hands and mouths started making him go crazy all over again. Completely helpless against their powers of seduction, Hakyeon felt as though he was floating when Hongbin's warm, wet mouth closed around the tip of his cock and started sucking out the last droplets of his come while Taekwoon slid four lubed fingers in his hole at once and started scissoring them to further widen Hakyeon's hole.

 

Hakyeon felt the suction on his cock and the tearing fingers at his hole and threw his head back, the breath leaving his throat too short to form words or moans. As though he were drugged - and he had to admit that the things these two were doing to him felt like a fucking rush! - Hakyeon let his dongsaengs do whatever they wanted, finally feeling his body being lifted as Taekwoon picked him up with Hongbin's help.

 

Positioning him with his hole right above Hongbin's waiting erection - his dongsaeng was now sitting in the center of the bed with his upper body slightly leaned back against the headboard - Taekwoon carefully let Hakyeon slide down onto Hongbin, his dongsaeng's lubed cock disappearing all the way into Hakyeon's hole.

 

Hakyeon and Hongbin moaned at the same moment upon feeling the intimate, deep connection between their trembling bodies. Hakyeon's hooded eyes opened wider in astonishment as he watched Taekwoon lube his erection and move closer.

 

          "Wha...what...are you...doing?" Hakyeon managed to ask, though his voice was trembling slightly along with his body.

 

          "The two of us will take you together," Taekwoon said, his soft, whispery voice and the realization that he was planning on shoving his cock in right next to Hongbin's sending shivers down Hakyeon's spine.

 

Before Hakyeon could utter a single word...or any kind of objection, Taekwoon's words and the trustworthy and at the same time tender look in his eyes made the words die right on his tongue.

 

          "Don't worry, hyung...you know you can trust me...I won't hurt you," Taekwoon said, his tone of voice soft and sincere.

 

Hakyeon simply nodded and leaned his head back against Hongbin's shoulder, closing his eyes as he completely gave himself over into Taekwoon's and Hongbin's care.

 

          "Take a deep breath," Taekwoon instructed him as he brought his lubed erection up to Hakyeon's already filled hole and started slowly pushing his cock past Hongbin's.

 

Hakyeon and Hongbin moaned at the same time as Taekwoon's cock pushed into Hakyeon's hole, stretching it further inch by inch while also stroking Hongbin's erection with every push. Hakyeon could see Taekwoon breaking out into a sweat, his dongsaeng just as affected by what he was doing to them, low soft moans and grunts leaving his mouth every time he moved. After waiting for a long while to let Hakyeon, Hongbin, and himself get used to the incredible tightness, Taekwoon finally started to move inside of him.

 

          "Yes...," Hongbin addressed Taekwoon from behind Hakyeon's back, the breath leaving his mouth gently tickling Hakyeon's ear, making his body shiver more than it already was "...push it in...yes...deeper...aaaahh...hyung..."

 

After continuously pushing his cock all the way in past Hongbin's and pulling it nearly all the way out - the tip of his cock torturing Hakyeon in a good way every time he did this - Taekwoon soon started to pick up the pace, eliciting loud moans and desperate cries from Hakyeon and Hongbin as he finally fucked them hard and fast, every powerful thrust of his hips hitting against Hakyeon's prostate and torturing Hongbin along with it.

 

Unable to stop himself, Hakyeon's fingers gripped Taekwoon's back tightly, his nails digging into his dongsaeng's flesh in his desperate attempt to hold onto something. Marginally he was aware of Hongbin's hands fisting in his hair as his dongsaeng, for his part, tried to hold onto something as well. But Hakyeon didn't feel any pain, his body having been completely taken over by the extreme arousal he was experiencing. Before long, he could feel the familiar pressure building.

 

          "I'm...close...," Hakyeon managed to say a few moments before multiple waves of his orgasm crashed over him, making his back arch, his cock spray his own as well as Taekwoon's chest with his come, and his ass squeeze the two cocks inside of his hole so tightly that Taekwoon and Hongbin cried out at the same time and spilled into him before Hakyeon's orgasm had finished rocking his body.

 

Hakyeon felt weak and totally limp as he lay slumped against Hongbin's chest with Taekwoon's body lying on top of him. After his own orgasm, Taekwoon had collapsed against Hakyeon without even having pulled out of him, totally spent from the energy he'd used fucking the two of them so hard.

 

Sandwiched between his two dongsaengs - their completely sweat-drenched bodies perfectly complementing his own while their tender post-coital kisses completely replaced any need for words - Hakyeon suddenly felt more contented than he ever had. After Taekwoon and Hongbin finally pulled out of him, the three of them snuggled against each other without bothering to clean up - all of them much too spent to move a muscle - and slowly drifted to sleep in each other's arms.

 


	21. Not Unnoticed

Hongbin sat alone at the breakfast table absentmindedly attacking the various dishes left out on the table for the members - it seemed Taekwoon had cooked for them all before leaving for his early schedule. After capturing the food between his chopsticks, he pushed it into his mouth without further thought, without even realizing what he was eating.

 

It was the morning after their first night together and all Hongbin could think about were the things the three of them had done with each other - _to_ each other - shivers running down his spine with every other vivid memory.

 

He could still feel the softness of the tip of Hakyeon's cock against his lips, taste the last droplets of come he'd sucked out of him, hear his hyung's desperate, breathless moans and whimpers, remember the incredible sensation of his own cock being buried deep inside Hakyeon's warmth as his hyung had slid down onto his erection.

 

He also remembered just as vividly what Taekwoon had managed to do to his sanity. Hongbin still hadn't recovered from seeing this new side of his usually shy fellow member. The way Taekwoon had taken control and the cool, sexy image he'd shown them in bed - how he'd slid his fingers into Hakyeon's mouth, asked him to get them wet, and then pushed them into Hakyeon's hole without hesitation or any signs of bashfulness - was still turning Hongbin on like crazy.

 

Not to mention the unforgettably intimate sensations of their joint fingers and their joint cocks fucking Hakyeon together, the friction created by Taekwoon's hard cock moving against his own robbing him of his senses as Taekwoon had given them all he had, thrusting as hard and deeply as he could.

 

Hongbin could feel his jogging pants getting too tight, realizing too late that he simply shouldn't have thought about their sexual adventure at the table habitually shared by all the members. Especially, when Wonsik had just entered the kitchen to have breakfast. Suddenly, Hongbin felt trapped. He couldn't possibly get up and leave any time soon, not until his boner had completely died down. Which wouldn't be easy, seeing as he was hard as a rock after all the flashbacks he'd just had.

 

          "Morning," Wonsik greeted him.

 

          "Morning," Hongbin returned, his voice sounding a bit strained even to his own ears.

 

          "What's wrong? Not feeling well?" Wonsik asked, sitting down right next to him and leisurely draping his arm around his shoulder, making Hongbin shudder; he soooo didn't need his hyung's arm around him when he was sporting a raging boner!

 

          "N-nothing wrong, I'm fine," Hongbin replied, quickly scooting further away from him until Wonsik's arm slid from his shoulder on its own.

 

Wonsik gave him a peculiar look but thankfully didn't continue asking, starting to munch on his breakfast instead.

 

Hongbin slowly calmed down again and was just starting to feel safe once more when Wonsik's next words caught him completely off guard.

 

          "So...where were the three of you yesterday?"

 

Hongbin choked on the long noodles he'd just shoved into his mouth a few seconds before Wonsik had spoken and ended up coughing violently as he gasped for air.

 

          _Way to go! Why not advertise it?!_  Hongbin chided himself as he coughed. Could his reaction have possibly been any more suspicious?

 

          "What are you talking about?" Hongbin nevertheless tried to act innocent once he'd stopped coughing and was able to reply.

 

          "I couldn't sleep last night, so I was carefully peeking into rooms looking for someone who might be awake to hang out with...Our two oldest hyungs were missing...and so were _you_ ," Wonsik replied, his gaze boring into Hongbin's as though he was trying to catch him at lying...at playing dumb, "So...where were you...and the others?"

 

Hongbin couldn't help himself, his nervousness once again making him cough even though he was trying his best to stay cool.

 

          "How should I know where the others were? I'm not their mother...If they each had their individual plans they surely didn't tell _me_ about it...I'm not their keeper...," Hongbin shot back a bit too aggressively.

 

If Wonsik doubted his words he didn't let on.

 

          "Okay, fair enough. But you still didn't tell me...Where were _you_? Even if you don't know what they were up to...you should at least know where _you_ were. It seems you're trying to get around giving me a straight answer...And by the way: what's up with that boner of yours?...Thought I didn't notice, huh?"

 

Hongbin dropped his chopsticks in shock. His morning actually hadn't started out that bad. There he'd been, reminiscing about the sexual encounter he'd just had with his two hyungs the night before, feeling safe because although they'd fallen asleep they'd still managed to wake up in the early hours of the morning, clean themselves up, and sneak back into the dorm before the sun had even come up and anyone could miss them. And now it not only turned out that their absence hadn't gone unnoticed at all but Wonsik wouldn't stop prying and had now even noticed his erection?

 

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

 

Hongbin didn't know how to reply, only just managing not to repeat the four-letter word echoing through his mind out loud.

 

          "So...mind telling me why you're feeling so _very_ hot and bothered this early in the morning?" Wonsik continued, emphasizing the word 'very' while pointedly staring at the huge bulge in Hongbin's pants.

 

Hongbin's hands flew to his crotch to cover his erection, his hands trembling slightly and his mouth hanging open in shock at his hyung's continuous prying. He couldn't believe he just wouldn't let it go when it was more than obvious that Hongbin was already feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable as fuck about the situation, his cheeks already blushing furiously. But Wonsik continued to stare him down, locking gazes with him instead, now that Hongbin's crotch was no longer on display.

 

Just then, just when Hongbin thought he couldn't possibly turn any redder in the face than he already was, Jaehwan stepped into the kitchen to catch the two of them silently and intently staring at each other while Hongbin's face was on fire. A bit startled, the two of them flinched when they noticed their hyung's presence, immediately directing their shocked gazes to Jaehwan who silently stared at them in return.

 

Jaehwan - who seemed to have been in the process of smiling in greeting only a moment before - took one good look at the two of them and left, the last traces of the smile he'd been about to give instantly falling from his face to be replaced with an angry look as he turned his back on them and hurried away without a single word.

 

          "What was _that_ about?" Hongbin found himself wondering out loud, too distracted by Jaehwan's strange behavior to remember the awkwardness he'd felt only a moment earlier.

 

          "I have no idea," Wonsik replied, seeming equally distracted by Jaehwan, his gaze still lingering at the place he'd just left even after he was long gone.

 

Inwardly sighing in relief, and silently thanking his hyung over and over again for his extremely timely diversion, Hongbin quickly got up and left, only marginally noticing the look of apprehension and regret on Wonsik's face.


	22. That Was Close

Taekwoon felt restless and impatient, checking the time on his cell phone more often than he should have. The magazine shoot had already taken longer than he'd expected and it was already past 9 o'clock in the evening. He'd been at the shoot all day and it had been a _very long_ day at that.

 

Because all Taekwoon could think about whenever he had a moment to let his mind wander, was how badly he wanted to be back in the dorms and see Hakyeon and Hongbin. The night they'd spent together was as fresh and vivid in his mind as if only minutes had passed instead of nearly an entire day.

 

And though the others hadn't said anything, Taekwoon was fully expecting to meet them again that night in their dorm and spend some more 'quality time' with them. Of course, it would surely prove tricky to keep their meeting secret; they would have to be very quiet. And remembering Hakyeon's loud moans from the previous night, Taekwoon suddenly doubted whether they would actually manage not to make too much noise. Nonetheless, whether it was a good idea or not, Taekwoon simply couldn't stay away from them for another minute. As soon as he got home, he would head straight to Hakyeon's room to pick him up and sneak into Hongbin's room together.

 

Seeing as thinking too much about his plans for that night was not doing the state of his groin any good in his current situation - when he was surrounded by staff and was supposed to continue shooting as soon as the set was properly arranged - Taekwoon quickly steered his thoughts away from anything that could get him too excited and managed to concentrate and make it through the rest of his shoot without any embarrassing moments.

 

By the time he was done and had snuck back into the dorm - not wanting to get anyone's attention as he was planning to immediately head to Hakyeon's room instead of his own - Taekwoon's heart was already beating wildly in anticipation. He couldn't wait to touch his hyung again...to make him lose his mind and relinquish all control. And he couldn't wait to touch his dongsaeng either, the memory of Hongbin's soft moans already starting to make him hard. Suddenly, he wanted to take them both...wanted to be the first to touch Hongbin where no one had ever touched him before. Wanted to penetrate and fill both of them...and make them cry out his name as he pounded into them.

 

Completely oblivious of the nosy fellow member secretly following him, Taekwoon slipped into Hakyeon's room without knocking, swiftly closing the door again behind him. He'd gone about it so quietly that Hakyeon - who was standing at the side of his bed with his back facing the door - hadn't even noticed his entrance.

 

As silently and stealthily as a cat, Taekwoon crept up to Hakyeon and pounced, one hand reaching around his hyung's waist from behind - his fingers dipping just beneath the hem of Hakyeon's t-shirt to seductively slide across his naked tummy - while the other immediately clamped down over his mouth so that the surprised yelp leaving his throat couldn't be heard throughout the dorm and draw attention to them.

 

          "Shhh...," Taekwoon softly breathed into his ear from behind, being extra careful to nibble on his hyung's lobe before continuing, "...let's go pay our dongsaeng a late night visit...I've been thinking about the two of you all day."

 

Wanting to properly emphasize his statement, Taekwoon pressed his already painfully hard erection against Hakyeon's backside, catching the slightest of excited whimpers that escaped Hakyeon's throat to disappear beneath Taekwoon's hand at the contact.

 

          "This is what happens when I think of the two of you all day...it's already this bad...what the hell have you done to me?...You need to take responsibility," Taekwoon continued, licking the rim of Hakyeon's ear before dipping his tongue into it.

 

Taekwoon held Hakyeon's body up as his hyung's knees buckled in response, feeling thrilled by the older one's reaction and the slight shivering of Hakyeon's body as he held him in his arms.

 

          "Ande...we shouldn't be doing this in the dorm...it's too dangerous...," Hakyeon whispered, his voice trembling as much as his body, "...the others could find out."

 

          "So what...what if they find out?" Taekwoon asked, suddenly feeling rebellious.

 

          "You're joking...right?" Hakyeon said, sounding incredulous, "For as long as I've known you, you've always felt embarrassed by the smallest of things...and now you're trying to tell me you wouldn't feel embarrassed about the three of us being found out by the others?...Who are you?...Cause you're definitely not the Taekwoon _I_ know."

 

           "You're right, I was like that...but not anymore...at least not when it comes to you or Hongbinnie. It's like...I feel like...something's been turned on inside of me...I've never felt this...alive...and I don't care if anyone finds out..."

 

Hakyeon was silent for a long moment before finally replying.

 

          "Taekwoon-ah...even though your words are very...touching...I just can't let you have your way. It's too important...our group is too important...and I have to watch out for all of us. I can't imagine what would happen if the others found out...I'm just not sure they would understand...So please just be patient, we can't do this here. We'll find somewhere to meet again soon...I promise."

 

Taekwoon felt deflated and disappointed. He'd been looking forward to this all day. Before his pout could get even more pronounced than it already was, Hakyeon slowly turned around in his arms to face him and gently kissed and sucked on his protruding lower lip.

 

          "I'm sorry, Taekwoon-ah...don't be mad...I'll make it up to you later," Hakyeon said, reaching up to wrap his arms around Taekwoon's neck as he kissed him deeply, the hot touch of Hakyeon's tongue, which was probably meant to console him, doing the exact opposite.

 

          "If you don't want me to end up taking you...right here, right now...you'd better stop kissing me like that," Taekwoon managed after quickly pulling out of the kiss before he completely lost his self-control, his voice raspy and his chest heaving.

 

Although the desperate look his hyung gave him - Hakyeon's gaze was filled with the same glint of desire Taekwoon felt - should have been a consolation by itself, Taekwoon still found himself feeling dejected as he opened the door to leave Hakyeon's room.

 

          "Hey there...," Wonsik surprised him, standing right in front of Hakyeon's door as if he'd been about to burst through the door unannounced, "...I just saw you heading to Hakyeon's room and wanted to see what the two of you are up to."

 

          "Nothing," Taekwoon replied a bit too quickly, immediately regretting the absence of composure in his voice.

 

          "Really...?" Wonsik replied, eyeing him a bit too intensely, "...thought the two of you might be up to something...meeting this late...just the two of you."

 

Before Taekwoon could turn red at Wonsik's words and sink to the floor in embarrassment, he simply turned his back to his dongsaeng and quickly walked off in the direction of his room.

 

Hakyeon had been absolutely right, Taekwoon grudgingly admitted to himself. He did indeed feel embarrassed...because he didn't know how the others would react to the three of them being together. Though he hadn't thought he would be - probably mainly because he'd been thinking with his dick at the time - he'd just experienced the embarrassment he thought he wouldn't feel.

 

          _Shit...that was really close!_   Taekwoon thought before quickly disappearing into the safety of his room for the night, longingly thinking about the next time the three of them could be together again.


	23. Ottokaji?

Wonsik watched Taekwoon's back as the latter quickly made his way to his own room, wondering what the fuck was going on in their dorm lately. One of the few advantages of living together for a very long time was that one could all too easily notice when other members acted differently than they normally did. Since they all knew each other inside and out, nothing had been easier for Wonsik than to notice - even if he'd tried hard not to - that something strange was going on between Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin of late.

 

All three of them had been acting out of character...all three of them had gone abroad together...all three of them had silently disappeared for almost an entire night and had acted very suspiciously the next day. And even if all of them had tried to hide it, nothing concerning his fellow members ever got past Wonsik - unless he was too busy sleeping (which, sadly, he didn't seem to find enough time for lately).

 

Just as surely as he'd noticed Hongbin's erection at the breakfast table, he had also noticed the way Hakyeon had been limping and clutching his backside whenever he thought no one was looking, as well as Taekwoon's boner after a late night visit to Hakyeon's room.

 

 _What the fuck?_ Wonsik asked himself over and over again without even the slightest answer in sight.

 

Because he just couldn't understand what was going on...couldn't imagine how any of these strange occurrences even fit together. If only _two_ members had been acting strangely, gone away together without inviting any of the other members, and snuck out for almost an entire night, he might have suspected a romantic or sexual relationship between them - even though he'd never even thought of the possibility of any of them being gay or bisexual.

 

But there were _three_ of them... _three_ of them were involved in whatever was happening. So Wonsik had immediately discounted the notion of them being involved. But now Taekwoon had just come out of Hakyeon's room looking extraordinarily 'happy' to have seen his hyung. Wonsik didn't know what to think anymore. And it annoyed him that he hadn't been able to get to the bottom of this mystery yet.

 

Just as it annoyed him that Jaehwan had happened to walk in on him and Hongbin just as he'd tried to grill his dongsaeng and get an answer out of him and had completely misunderstood the situation. Wonsik didn't even know why it was bothering him so much that Jaehwan had misunderstood...it just did. He could still see his hyung's expression as clearly as if he were standing in front of him at that very moment.

 

Without bothering to ask himself why Jaehwan's opinion of him mattered so much (though perhaps he should have) Wonsik made his way back to his room and collapsed on his bed, ready to find the sleep that had been evading him for the last few nights - and only managing to find more questions about the 'three musketeers' to crowd his already busy mind.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Jaehwan quietly sat on the couch in VIXX's practice room watching his fellow members dance. Feeling frustrated about once again having messed up parts of the choreography of one of the dances he should have known by heart, he'd taken a moment to rest before starting afresh. The others hadn't minded his little time out - quite to the contrary, they seemed to have expected it since Jaehwan was the member to always get at least one part of the dance wrong when practicing it again after a long time.

 

From his perch on the couch, Jaehwan found himself in the perfect position to watch some of the members' movements and fully appreciate their outstanding talent. Even though they all danced really well, Hakyeon and Wonsik always seemed to move a bit better, a bit smoother, than the rest and Jaehwan's eyes were usually drawn to their movements first before noticing anyone else's.

 

But this time, Jaehwan didn't even notice Hakyeon...didn't see anyone but Wonsik. No matter how hard he tried to follow the other members instead, he felt his gaze being exclusively drawn to Wonsik's body, unable to look away even when he felt his cheeks grow hot from looking at the seductive roll of his hips and his backside for much longer than he should have.

 

          _What's wrong with me?_ Jaehwan started to ask himself once again; it had already become a habit to do so.

 

He'd asked himself this question ever since the morning he'd walked in on Wonsik and Hongbin's intimate moment at the kitchen table - when he'd suddenly and totally inexplicably felt so jealous that he'd wanted to throw something at Hongbin, whom he usually liked very much and felt very close to. But at that moment, all he'd wanted to do was hurt him - and Wonsik as well. And he hadn't been able to fully understand why. Even though he'd thought about that moment for a long while afterward and tried to understand why he'd felt so severely jealous all of a sudden, he still didn't have a real answer - or at least not an answer he could accept.

 

He'd tried to chalk his reaction up to the kind of jealousy one usually felt when a good or best friend suddenly noticed someone else he wanted to be friends with...when a friend's attention was suddenly divided and one was no longer the center of that friend's attention. He'd tried to tell himself that Wonsik had always doted on him more than on any other fellow member, continuously boosting his confidence by telling him and everyone around them how cute he was. He'd tried to tell himself that because of this Wonsik had made him feel special...more special than any other member...and that he'd felt jealous when Wonsik had suddenly shared an even more special moment with Hongbin. He'd tried to tell himself that _that_ was all there was to it.

 

          The problem was: it hadn't worked.

 

It hadn't worked because deep, deep down Jaehwan had already suspected that by telling himself all that he was only lying to himself. Lying to himself because he didn't want to find out the truth. But the truth had a way of slowly but surely clawing its way into his consciousness...until he couldn't ignore it any longer.

 

While sitting there staring at Wonsik's body as if his life depended on it...depended on not letting him out of his sight for even a moment...the time Jaehwan could no longer ignore his true feelings finally seemed to be upon him. Even as the insincere question still echoed in his mind, Jaehwan had long found the answer he'd been dreading...the answer he was still unwilling to accept.

 

           _What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?_

_You already know...you already know...you already know..._

 

Yes, he already knew. Somewhere along the way...along the difficult path they'd walked together...somewhere in between being fellow members, friends, brothers...between having fun and working hard...between teasing each other and making each other feel special...between sharing their deepest fears and their most heartfelt dreams...Jaehwan had started to fall in love with Wonsik - even if it wasn't what he'd expected...wanted...was willing to accept.

 

Jaehwan finally tore his eyes away from the person haunting his every waking moment of late and directed his gaze to the floor instead. With his heart hammering loudly against the confines of his ribcage - its fierce beating not really doing justice to the utterly chaotic and wildly churning thoughts running through his mind - Jaehwan buried his head in his hands as the immensity of his situation finally hit him with its entire force, the woman he'd kept in his mind and heart all those years after breaking up irrevocably wiped out and replaced by Wonsik's image.

 

          _Oh God...I'm in love with Wonsik...with Wonsik...with a man...Ottokaji?_

 


	24. Sleeping Arrangements

Hakyeon tried his best not to let the other members notice anything as Taekwoon, Hongbin, and he secretly held hands underneath the table.

 

They'd gone to a small but popular Chinese restaurant together after Hakyeon had continuously nagged his 'children', telling them how important it was as a group to sit at the table together, share a meal, talk about their upcoming concert in Japan, and share their _feelings_ as well - at which point almost all of them, especially Taekwoon, Hongbin, and Wonsik, had rolled their eyes and tried to get out of going.

 

But Hakyeon hadn't accepted 'no' for an answer, making them all sit down at the table together in the end. And although each and every one of them had complained about it at the beginning, they'd been having more and more fun as the evening progressed, laughing together, laughing at each other, bickering, fighting, teasing, and giving neck chops here and there - in fact, so often and so roughly that the waitress was giving them strange looks, seemingly quite alarmed after witnessing their behavior.

 

          So, all in all, it had turned out to be a typical VIXX gathering - every bit as chaotic and dorky as usual.

 

The dinner had already been nearing its end when Hakyeon - who was sitting between Taekwoon and Hongbin - had suddenly felt Hongbin's soft hand gently grab his own underneath the table. A moment later, Taekwoon's slender fingers were intertwined with his own as well; he'd probably watched Hongbin and had wanted to do the same.

 

So, there he was, secretly holding his two boyfriends' hands while the whole group was present and any of them could discover them at any moment. But instead of feeling apprehensive, Hakyeon enjoyed the thrill coursing through him at the thought of the three of them sneaking around behind the others' backs. Somehow it made him feel even sexier than he normally did - which for Hakyeon, who already felt like the sexiest man alive most of the time, was saying something.

 

          "What time do we leave for the airport tomorrow?" Hyuk interrupted Hakyeon's little moment, reminding him that they had to head back to the dorm soon because they were going to Japan for their concert and their flight left rather early in the morning.

 

          "At six o'clock," Hakyeon replied, earning a groan from nearly all of his fellow members, especially from Taekwoon, who often had trouble falling asleep at night and hated having to get up too early in the morning.

 

          "Shouldn't we be heading back soon then?" Hyuk said.

 

          "Yes, we'll be leaving soon...," Hakyeon replied, "...but before we do, I'll go ahead and let you know about the sleeping arrangements in Japan so that things go more smoothly when we arrive."

 

At this point, every one of his fellow members, except for Taekwoon and Hongbin, quickly called out the name of the member they wanted to share a room with. This happened every single time Hakyeon informed them of the sleeping arrangements whenever they stayed somewhere else. Because even though it was absolutely useless to go against him - he always had the last word as their leader - every single member tried his best not to get stuck in a room with Hakyeon...except perhaps Jaehwan, who didn't seem to mind as much.

 

So, when Taekwoon and Hongbin didn't immediately shout out names along with the rest of the other members - instead, remaining unusually quiet - the table went oddly silent for a few moments.

 

          "What's up with the two of you? Since when have you stopped minding staying in a room with leader-nim?" Jaehwan asked.

 

It seemed, for once Wonsik hadn't been the first one to call them out on their strange behavior. But although he hadn't been the first to comment, it was clear from the look of suspicion on his face that he was wondering the exact same thing...and so, Hakyeon noticed, did Hyuk.

 

           _Shit!_

 

After quickly squeezing his boyfriends' hands, silently asking them to fix the situation they'd created by acting so out of character, Taekwoon and Hongbin immediately reacted.

 

          "I want to stay with Hongbin," Taekwoon said.

 

          "I'll share with Taekwoon," Hongbin said at the same time.

 

Hakyeon squeezed their hands even harder, jealousy taking over. That wasn't what he'd had in mind!

 

          "Okay...," Hakyeon said in a completely fake, overly cheerful voice, "...then Hongbin can stay with me while Taekwoon and Hyuk, and Wonsik and Jaehwan share a room."

 

Pretending not to notice the many disappointed looks and sighs - especially Hongbin's - directed his way, Hakyeon merely smiled and officially concluded their group dinner.

 

 

Several hours later saw all five members arriving at their hotel rooms in Osaka. The first hours of preparations were to take place that same day and the first day of the concert would be the day after the next. After quickly stashing their travel bags in their rooms - Hakyeon taking the chance to quickly capture Hongbin and pull him in for a heated kiss within the confines of their shared room - all of them headed toward the concert venue to start practicing their routine.

 

           "My room...tonight," Hakyeon quickly whispered into Taekwoon's ear in an unobserved moment when locking arms with him during their dance practice for Hyde.

 

Only just catching the minute nod of his dongsaeng's head and the small, yet naughty smile that flashed across Taekwoon's face and disappeared just as quickly as it had surfaced, Hakyeon started to feel the excitement coursing through his body, making the butterflies in his stomach dance just as passionately as he was.

 

Remembering the last time the three of them had been together and the way Taekwoon had snuck into his room not too long ago, wanting to whisk him away to Hongbin's room for another adventurous night, Hakyeon couldn't wait for them to finally be alone together again. He'd missed their heated touches so much that his whole body had now started humming in anticipation of the night they would share in his and Hongbin's hotel room later. 

 

And even if he had some trouble practicing the next day - the last time he'd been penetrated he'd limped for a long while afterward - it would be worth every moment of pain and discomfort.

 


	25. Punishment

Taekwoon held his breath and listened into the darkness of his and Hyuk's shared room. After assuring himself that he could hear the maknae's soft, rhythmic breathing - indicating that Hyuk was still fast asleep and wouldn't witness Taekwoon sneaking from the room in the middle of the night - Taekwoon carefully made his way to the door and quietly slipped through it into the hotel's dimly lit, empty hallway.

 

Even if Hyuk were to awake to find him missing, it wouldn't really matter, though. Taekwoon would simply say that he'd - once again - been unable to sleep and had gone out for some fresh air. But it was easier this way. So, Taekwoon hoped the younger would continue sleeping until the next morning.

 

After safely making it to Hakyeon and Hongbin's room, Taekwoon knocked quietly and waited for one of them to open the door. He was just about to knock again - since a whole minute had already gone by without a reaction - when the door was suddenly swung open by a very disheveled-looking Hakyeon, who was standing in the doorway breathing heavily with his shirt torn open and the first few buttons of his pants undone.

 

          "Yah!" Taekwoon complained in a whisper, swiftly pushing past Hakyeon into the room, "What's this?...You already started?...You're supposed to wait for me."

 

          "Sorry...," Hongbin replied with a somewhat guilty yet simultaneously unapologetic look on his face, "...we couldn't help it."

 

Taekwoon could immediately see that Hongbin had been the one to initiate things, seeing as his clothing and hair - unlike Hakyeon's - were still immaculate. So, Hongbin had been the one who'd impatiently pounced on Hakyeon instead of waiting for Taekwoon to arrive.

 

          "I think I need to teach you a little lesson, nae dongsaeng...," Taekwoon said while slowly advancing on Hongbin, the sudden look of alarm on Hongbin's face almost comical, "...You need to learn how to be patient."

 

          "Mianheyo, hyung," Hongbin immediately replied, grinning sheepishly and trying to charm his way out of the lesson he was about to be taught with his disarming smile and adorable dimples.

 

But Taekwoon, who was already used to the way Hongbin used his killer smile to get what he wanted, wasn't dissuaded one bit.

 

          "What exactly did you have in mind?" Hakyeon interrupted all of a sudden, uncertainty written all over his face.

 

          "Relax...," Taekwoon said, "...I won't hurt him...just tease him a bit."

 

A devilish grin spread over Hakyeon's features.

 

           "Okay, I'm in...Let's tease our dongsaeng a bit."

 

Hongbin, suddenly seeing himself confronted with not one but two hyungs out to make him 'suffer', tried to talk them out of touching him. He tried all the way through the room, walking backward with his hands protectively held up in front of him - until his back finally hit the wall and he had nowhere else to retreat to.

 

          "Oh come on, guys...you can't be serious...I just got a little bit carried away...you're not seriously thinking of punishing me?" Hongbin said, laughing nervously all the while.

 

          "Okay, fine...," Hongbin finally said when the others wouldn't reply, holding his right, bare arm out in front of him and offering it to them for them to hit in punishment like the members usually did, "...but you can only hit with two fingers."

 

          "You don't really think  _that's_ what I had in mind, do you?" Taekwoon asked, incredulous.

 

          _Hongbin should know better!_

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hongbin actually knew better than to think hitting his arm was what Taekwoon had in mind. It had been worth a try, but obviously, his hyung wasn't going to fall for his little act of innocence. So Hongbin found himself with his back against the wall and his body shivering both in anticipation and from nerves.

 

Though he'd gotten to know Taekwoon really well over the past few years, the hungry look in his hyung's eyes was one he wasn't at all familiar with. He'd gotten to know the very shy side of Taekwoon, had gotten to know the playful and the warmhearted side, even the sexy side Taekwoon only really showed on stage - even though he unconsciously oozed sex appeal without even trying, even when he wasn't doing anything at all.

 

He'd gotten to know all of these sides. But the one surfacing now - the one he was showing only to the two people he was being sexually intimate with - was one Hongbin would never have guessed he possessed. Though he wasn't really that aggressive, there was a somewhat rough edge to his behavior and a sexual self-assuredness that made Hongbin's knees suddenly buckle even though his hyung was doing nothing more than standing before him and fixing him with his intense stare.

 

Before Hongbin had time to guess what Taekwoon had meant by wanting to 'teach him a lesson in patience', Taekwoon moved even closer, pinning Hongbin's body to the wall with his own. Hongbin could feel his hyung's warm breath fan against his neck right before Taekwoon captured the sensitive skin above his shoulder blades between his teeth and bit him gently.

 

If this was his punishment, Hongbin thought, it wasn't altogether bad. Immediately following this thought, before Hongbin could realize what Taekwoon was up to or could even attempt to stop him, Taekwoon had used Hongbin's state of distraction to quickly lift Hongbin's t-shirt up and over his head and use it to tie his wrists together.

 

          "Yah!...What are you doing?" Hongbin asked, a bit panicked.

 

He couldn't help it; he'd never experienced how it felt to be tied up...to feel absolutely helpless and at someone else's mercy. After sending a pleading look to Hakyeon in the hopes of being rescued, Hongbin couldn't believe it when his hyung just shrugged his shoulders and sent him a teasing grin in reply. Hongbin was a bit shocked that the two of them were actually going to leave him like that. But even as he complained to them about it, he couldn't hide the fact that as much as it alarmed him it also utterly turned him on - the raging hard-on still carefully tucked away in his pants was more than testimony to that!

 

          What happened next was complete torture!

 

Hakyeon came up to the two of them and pressed his body against Hongbin's as well, his groin rubbing against Hongbin's erection as he kissed and licked the other side of his neck, the one not already occupied by Taekwoon's mouth. Then his two hyungs proceeded with teasing his exposed, utterly perked up nipples with their tongues and teeth and dipping their greedy hands into his pants to stroke him.

 

While Hakyeon stole a deep kiss from him, two of Taekwoon's fingers invaded Hongbin's mouth, tangling and moving with both of their tongues until they were fully wet. The very next moment, Hongbin could feel his jogging pants and briefs being pulled down right before a wet, eager finger started drawing lazy circles around his asshole.

 

          "Angh...," Hongbin sighed around Hakyeon's tongue, the sigh soon turning into a moan when Taekwoon stopped circling his hole and suddenly pushed his finger inside, making the muscles in Hongbin's entrance twitch and squeeze his hyung's finger.

 

But Taekwoon's finger kept moving relentlessly, no matter how much Hongbin's hole tightened around it - until his hyung's long, slender finger was all the way up his hole, stroking the walls of his insides so arousingly that Hongbin was repeatedly moaning into Hakyeon's mouth while his useless, tied arms struggled to free themselves. But even if he'd been able to untie his wrists, Hongbin wasn't sure what he would have done.

 

Because, in truth, he didn't want Taekwoon to stop - even though he didn't want to admit it. It just felt too fucking good!

 

Nevertheless, he continuously pulled at the t-shirt binding his hands because he needed to distract himself from the absolutely tormenting and mind-blowingly delicious feeling of being fucked by Taekwoon's finger before he exploded and came all over himself and his hyungs.

 

Since he couldn't free his hands, Hongbin soon gritted his teeth and tried to think about something else - anything else! But if he thought one of Taekwoon's fingers up his ass was all the two of them were going to throw at him, Hongbin was sadly mistaken. A moment later, Hakyeon seemed to have decided to join Taekwoon. After sucking on his own finger, his hyung swiftly brought it to Hongbin's already occupied hole and pushed it in right next to Taekwoon's.

 

Hongbin moaned again, the sound immediately sucked in by Hakyeon's mouth; he seemed to be trying to keep the noise in their room to a minimum so that they wouldn't draw attention to themselves - which was a good idea, as Hongbin soon found himself moaning even louder as his hyungs entered him with no less than four fingers, continuously pulling them out and pushing them back in, then scissoring them to further widen Hongbin's hole.

 

          "Aaah...enough...unghh...enough now...just take me...aarghh...already!" Hongbin managed in a completely breathless, agonized-sounding voice after a torturous thirty minutes of them very, very slowly fucking him together with their combined fingers while sucking on his already raw and tender nipples, wishing they would finally shove something larger into his hole, as the two of them had managed to make him more than just a bit needy with everything they were doing to him.

 

          "Shhh...didn't I say before that you need to learn to be patient?" Taekwoon whispered into his ear, "You don't want me to think you want another thirty minutes of this, do you?"

 

Hongbin quickly shut his mouth and shook his head, not uttering another word, lest Taekwoon and Hakyeon would really start from the beginning and do this to him all over again.

 

          "Good...since you seemed to have learned your lesson, I guess we can move on to the next part now," Taekwoon said a moment later, "You can't believe how badly I want to fuck you." 

 


	26. Shattered Silence

Wonsik silently paced the room from wall to wall, completely lost in thoughts about what the suspicious 'three musketeers' might be up to at that very moment. He'd found it fishy that Hakyeon hadn't chosen to share the room with him. Even more so because he'd kept proper track of who'd been roommates at previous occasions. Hakyeon had a system of rotation he liked to stick to, and according to the plan, it was definitely Wonsik's turn to share a room with their leader-nim.

 

And so, Wonsik couldn't help but obsess over the reason why Hakyeon hadn't picked him even though he was secretly thrilled not to have to share a room with him - because, frankly speaking, staying in the same room as the leader of one's group could be very burdensome, especially when that leader happened to be named Cha Hakyeon, who could be very irritating and extremely clingy at times.

 

Normally, Hakyeon would have gone out of his way to pick Wonsik, especially because he knew how annoying Wonsik found it. But he'd picked Hongbin instead, though Hongbin and Taekwoon had been united in picking each other. _This_ and the weird things that had been going on involving these three were seriously making the wheels in Wonsik's head turn.

 

He'd been thinking about them so much, in fact, that he'd completely neglected to pay proper respect to his hyung. He hadn't even asked Jaehwan if he preferred the bed near the window or the one by the door and had simply thrown his bag on the one next to the large window, which offered a superb view of the city with its high buildings and beautifully sparkling night lights.

 

          "Ahem...," Wonsik suddenly heard Jaehwan's soft attempt at trying to get his attention.

 

Since none of his musings about the other members had actually led to any epiphanies, Wonsik finally directed his attention to his hyung. But the moment his eyes finally focused on him, Wonsik could actually feel his chin drop. He'd been so distracted by his own thoughts that he'd completely failed to notice that Jaehwan had already unpacked his bags and disappeared into the en-suite bathroom to freshen up. 

 

Wonsik couldn't believe he hadn't even noticed the shower running as he stood staring openmouthed at a still slightly wet, semi-nude Jaehwan, who'd just left the bathroom with a large towel wrapped around the lower half of his body, leaving his lightly toned abs uncovered and right in Wonsik's face.

 

          "Ahem...," Jaehwan repeated, "...just how long were you planning on walking from one side of the room to the other?"

 

          "Huh?...Oh...right...mianhe-yo...," Wonsik quickly apologized before managing to give himself a mental shake and finally tear his eyes away from Jaehwan's upper body.

 

But he couldn't quite hide the fact that he felt embarrassed about having stared at him for much too long, a slight, pink flush slowly creeping over his cheeks as he quickly turned his head away.

 

            _What's wrong with me?_ Wonsik suddenly asked himself as he hurried to unpack his travel bag, feeling the need to distract himself.

 

            _Why am I blushing?_

 

He'd seen Jaehwan's naked upper body before...had seen it plenty of times, in fact. And so had many Starlights. And though he had beautiful skin and a sexy body, compared to other VIXX members and Wonsik himself, Jaehwan's abs weren't really anything to go wild over. So then why was Wonsik suddenly feeling hot and cold at the same time? Why was his body completely overreacting to the sight of Jaehwan's naked chest?

 

          It didn't make any sense!

 

Wonsik's back was still turned to his hyung as he tried to understand why his hormones were suddenly acting up and making him feel so utterly off balance. Why was seeing him half-naked suddenly so different than any other time he'd seen him like that?

 

As the silence in the room intensified, Wonsik suddenly understood. It was the atmosphere surrounding them that was causing him to feel this way...the mood had completely changed between them for some reason. Most of the time, Wonsik was only confronted with Jaehwan's fun, silly side. No matter where they were or what they were doing - unless they were on stage, at a photo shoot, or filming for their music video - Jaehwan was always goofing around and showing his cute side. Which, Wonsik had to admit, he found adorable!

 

But now that Jaehwan - for whatever unfathomable reason - was acting uncharacteristically serious and quiet around him instead of being his usual goofy self, his good looks and sex-appeal were finally given a chance to shine through...aiming straight for and continuously hitting the suddenly very susceptible target sharing the room with him.

 

          "Err...hyung...," Wonsik tried to disarm the sexually loaded atmosphere, "...why don't you put your clothing on...you...err..don't want to catch a cold, do you?"

 

          "Mmhh," was the only answering sound from his hyung, the monosyllabic reply that didn't even contain a real word so unlike Jaehwan that Wonsik couldn't help but turn around to face him.

 

As soon as he did, he wished he hadn't, the look in Jaehwan's eyes so serious...so intense...so full of something Wonsik couldn't name and, quite frankly, was  _afraid_ to put a name to...that Wonsik found himself once again evading his eyes, turning his gaze away from his hyung's so fast that there was no way Jaehwan hadn't noticed how awkward he felt.

 

Instead of just letting it go - which Wonsik would have expected him to do - Jaehwan's new and utterly serious side made him confront him head-on, instead.

 

          "Why can't you look me in the eyes anymore...why do you keep shying away?" Jaehwan's uncharacteristically low, solemn voice reached Wonsik's ears, his unexpectedly straight-forward question making Wonsik's heart miss several beats and cause a strange, unfamiliar fluttering in his stomach.

 

Wonsik could feel his palms starting to sweat as the two of them stood in silence, the heavy weight of Jaehwan's question hovering in the air between them...demanding an answer Wonsik wasn't ready to give. How could he reply if he didn't know what he was suddenly feeling...or where these feelings had even come from?

 

Having nothing to say, Wonsik simply kept his back to his hyung, and the uncomfortable silence continued...and continued...and continued...

 

          ...until the soft, slightly hesitant sounds of approaching footsteps coming from behind his back shattered the silence as much as they shattered Wonsik's already frantically beating heart...

 


	27. Crashing

Jaehwan felt beyond confused as he stood facing Wonsik's back. Ever since Jaehwan had returned from taking a shower, Wonsik had been acting very strangely. Jaehwan could have sworn he hadn't imagined the way Wonsik's eyes had remained glued to his naked upper body or the way his cheeks had suddenly flushed pink right before he'd managed to hide his face by quickly turning around. On top of that, the fact that his dongsaeng had asked him to put on clothes before he caught a cold when the temperature in the room was much warmer than they were used to in their dorm was extremely suspicious and not like Wonsik at all.

 

Wonsik's abnormal behavior had made Jaehwan abruptly wonder what was going on with his dongsaeng. Because it had been more than evident that Wonsik was suddenly acting very awkwardly around him. And though he would have loved to just ignore the fact that he seemed unable to even look him in the eyes anymore, Jaehwan just hadn't been able to do so. He'd needed to confront him about it right then and there. Otherwise, he would have gone crazy not knowing...not knowing if Wonsik's behavior actually suggested what Jaehwan had hoped it did the moment he'd noticed his dongsaeng's eyes tracing the outlines of his abs in a way that had made his stomach tighten and his heart start racing.

 

And so he'd been brave...and he'd asked. But Wonsik had only responded with more silence...a silence that was continuing to grow and grow until Jaehwan simply couldn't take it anymore. For many endless days and even longer nights, he'd tried to ignore the lurching sensation in his stomach every time he'd run into his dongsaeng...had tried to forget the way his heart had skipped a beat every single time he'd heard his deep voice...had tried not to think about the constant urge he had felt to kiss him or touch him whenever he'd been near him or had been gazing at him in secret.

 

He'd tried his damnedest not to get pulled in even deeper into this whirlpool of desire threatening to pull him under and make him drown in the feelings which just continued to grow, his heart seeming too weak to listen to logic...to listen to what Jaehwan's brain was trying to tell it: how bad an idea it was to give in to this temptation, how stupid it would be of him not to immediately get rid of his feelings for another man...how everyone surrounding him, including his parents, would never, ever accept that Jaehwan was different...how he himself couldn't even fully accept how he felt toward Wonsik because he'd been straight for as long as he could remember.

 

He'd tried, he really had. And yet, all it had taken was Wonsik's gaze lingering on his naked torso and the way those cheeks had turned an adorable shade of pink for Jaehwan to ignore every single one of his many fears and doubts and suddenly find the courage to find out if he wasn't the only one feeling sexual tension between them...if he wasn't the only one who wanted to touch him, kiss him, do things with him he couldn't possibly say out loud and shouldn't even be thinking about.

 

And all it had taken was Wonsik's prolonged, embarrassed silence and the way the bit of exposed delicate skin at the nape of his neck - which Wonsik had so recklessly presented to him after having turned his back - was beckoning for him to touch...to kiss...for Jaehwan's heart to finally win the very last battle with his head, making his body move all on its own as his hesitant steps took him ever closer to his dongsaeng's exposed neck.

 

Jaehwan could feel his whole body humming with excitement...with the adrenaline rushing through his veins...as he slowly approached Wonsik's wide, muscular back. Stopping right behind him, his body almost pressed up against his dongsaeng's, Jaehwan leaned in, his breath slightly fanning against Wonsik's skin as his trembling lips approached the back of Wonsik's neck. He could see tiny goosebumps suddenly appear on his dongsaeng's nape and Wonsik's body shiver in response to feeling his breath ghosting across his skin.

 

Jaehwan didn't hesitate - his body wouldn't let him, acting of its own accord. Jaehwan easily closed the remaining, infinitesimal distance between their bodies, his slightly parted lips pressing against Wonsik's nape...the tip of his tongue soon after tasting the softness and enticing heat of his dongsaeng's slightly feverish skin.

 

Jaehwan's body was pressed up tightly against his dongsaeng's...

...his lips and tongue continuously caressing Wonsik's skin...

...low-pitched moans were escaping his dongsaeng's throat...

...Jaehwan's arms were in the process of sneaking possessively around Wonsik's well-toned chest from behind...

 

 

...when Wonsik suddenly grabbed his wrists - successfully stopping him from fully wrapping his arms around his dongsaeng's upper body - pulled away from him, and spun around to face him. Holding Jaehwan away from him at arm's length, he panted heavily and continuously shook his head.

 

          "N-no...h-hyung...don't...don't t-touch...me...like that...don't kiss me...I...I can't...I don't know w-what this is...I'm not...not...I'm just _not_...okay?!" Wonsik stuttered, obviously shaken to his very core, making Jaehwan instinctively pull back all on his own.

 

He didn't need Wonsik's outstretched arms to keep him at bay, the unmistakable expressions of confusion and torment on his dongsaeng's face enough to make him want to step back from him as quickly as possible. Jaehwan hadn't thought about what he was doing as he'd let his body react to his needs and wants. Had he stopped to think before he'd acted, he might have seen this coming. Because no matter what he thought he'd seen on Wonsik's face before or what he'd believed his dongsaeng's silence had implied, it was now clear as day that Wonsik wanted no part in whatever Jaehwan had believed would happen between them. He was very obviously completely shocked and put off by Jaehwan's behavior.

 

Suddenly, all Jaehwan wanted to do was disappear. If there'd been a hole anywhere near his feet, he would have immediately dived into it...would have let it swallow him whole, along with all the embarrassment, regret, and pain that was crashing over him.

 

How could he have behaved so recklessly...how could he just have assumed...and acted without even thinking about the consequences?

 

Jaehwan's legs hit the edge of the bed by the window before he'd even realized that he'd backed himself right up to another obstacle instead of finding an actual route of escape. Caught unawares, he immediately lost his footing and started falling backward onto the bed at an odd angle, his head aiming straight for the hard, wooden edge of the headboard as he fell. But before his startled mind could even begin to realize everything that was happening, a large hand protectively grabbed the back of his head while a strong arm wrapped itself around his waist and quickly pulled his body around.

 

Caught up in the momentum as he spun Jaehwan's body around to avoid hitting the edge of the headboard, Wonsik lost control of his own body, the two of them tumbling right onto the bed together, Wonsik's heavier body burying Jaehwan's underneath it. Jaehwan's heart was beating wildly inside his chest as he gazed up into large, startled eyes that reflected his own uncertainty back at him. Silence enveloped them...neither of them moving...not one of them breathing...each of them held prisoner...suspended in the frozen, utterly silent moment of truth.

 

Jaehwan's body tingled, his skin burning where Wonsik's hands were touching him as his dongsaeng hovered right above him, holding his torso up by the hands resting on Jaehwan's naked biceps. His dongsaeng's clothed lower body was tightly pressed against the thin, askew towel now only just covering Jaehwan's crotch area.

 

Lost in the moment - and Wonsik's eyes - without even realizing what he was doing, Jaehwan unconsciously lifted his head, his mouth drawn to his dongsaeng's, his eyes fluttering closed as he experienced the softness he had longed to feel against his lips.

 

As his mind suddenly caught up with his body, Jaehwan immediately pulled back again, already silently cursing himself for committing the same fucked-up mistake twice in under a minute...

 

          ...when Wonsik's frozen body suddenly started to come alive in his arms.

 

The hands supporting Wonsik's upper body abandoned their positions, reaching to the back of Jaehwan's neck and into his hair, causing his body to collapse right onto his hyung's. At the same time, his lips came crashing down onto Jaehwan's with a wild, desperate kind of abandon that had the older's knees buckling and his stomach lurching in response.

 

           _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ the rationally thinking part of Jaehwan's mind screamed at him as it realized there was no way in hell to stop the wildfire that had just been ignited in his body and was heading straight for his heart...the path he'd chosen already threatening to consume him.

 


	28. Another Lesson?

Hakyeon's cock was already rock hard and painfully straining against his pants as he carefully pulled his fingers out of Hongbin's hole along with Taekwoon's. The two of them had already driven their dongsaeng to the point where he was panting heavily and desperately begging them to take him.

 

Having watched the extremely hot way in which Taekwoon had overwhelmed Hongbin, hearing his dongsaeng's throaty moans, and feeling how his body trembled against his own from what Taekwoon and he were doing to him, had made Hakyeon harder than he'd ever been. Without even having been touched, himself, he felt as though he might just climax merely from listening to Hongbin's moans and the sexy words pouring from Taekwoon's mouth as he told him how badly he wanted to fuck him. 

 

          "Let's take this somewhere more comfortable," Taekwoon finally said, leading the way over to the two still untouched beds separated only by a small, wooden nightstand.

 

Without hesitating, Taekwoon picked up the nightstand, lifted it up into his arms, and carried it to the opposite wall, where he set it down carefully before heading back to the beds. After exerting a bit of strength and pushing one of the beds right up against the other - thus creating a larger surface for all of them to fit on - Taekwoon wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand before pulling his t-shirt up and over his head and slipping out of his jogging pants and briefs as well as discarding his socks.

 

Hakyeon's eyes followed the slow, rippling movements of Taekwoon's muscles as he lifted his arms over his head and discarded his t-shirt and the rest of his clothing, exposing his silky white skin, his sexy, well-toned abs, hard nipples, and his already _very_ upright member. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hongbin's Adam's apple bob just as Hakyeon, himself, also swallowed hard - Taekwoon's whole body oozing sex-appeal and making the two of them shudder just from looking at him.

 

          "Come here," Taekwoon said in a low, husky voice, motioning for Hakyeon and Hongbin to join him by the bed.

 

Hakyeon could feel his knees shaking as he walked over to his dongsaeng, his other dongsaeng following right behind him. When he stopped right in front of him, unsure what exactly was expected from him or how to proceed, Taekwoon's eyes raked over him from top to bottom before he spoke again.

 

          "Why are you still dressed, _hyung_?" Taekwoon's delicate, whispery voice penetrated Hakyeon's ears, the word 'hyung' on the tip of Taekwoon's tongue doing things to him that made his cock ache even more in the tight confines of his pants.

 

While Hakyeon remained unmoving, still hung up on his dongsaeng's seductive voice and the painful throbbing in his lower region, Taekwoon quickly reached for Hongbin and helped him settle down on the bed - as his hands were still bound with his own t-shirt - before turning his attention back to Hakyeon.

 

Before Hakyeon could do anything, Taekwoon's hands were already gently lifting his arms up.

 

          "Keep them up," Taekwoon breathed into his ear, sending a shiver down Hakyeon's spine.

 

After leisurely trailing back down his bare arms, his fingers continued to travel along his body until they reached the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up his torso. Instead of lifting it off him completely, Taekwoon stopped at the point where the t-shirt had cleared Hakyeon's mouth and nose, leaving his eyes covered and thus successfully blindfolding him.

 

Slightly startled by the unexpected turn, Hakyeon let out a surprised gasp, leaving his lips parted just enough to be easy prey for Taekwoon's tongue, which immediately slid into his mouth to ravage him and drive him absolutely crazy. While his tongue and lips were devoured by Taekwoon's unsatiable mouth, his dongsaeng's equally greedy hands were incessantly and enticingly rubbing his hard-on through his pants, making Hakyeon moan desperately into Taekwoon's mouth, every touch and kiss intensified by the fact that his eyes were bound.

 

          "Angg...mmhhh...arghngg...," the small, needy moans left Hakyeon's throat only to be sucked in along with his entire tongue by his dongsaeng's mouth, leaving him completely breathless on top of being horny beyond belief.

 

When Taekwoon suddenly stopped kissing his mouth only to continue hot, wet trails across his nipples and all the way down his body - finally pulling his pants and briefs down as he knelt down in front of him - Hakyeon's state of nervousness had reached its peak, making him struggle to keep standing as his knees buckled and nearly gave out from under him.

 

Hakyeon was unable to support his own weight, as the garment covering his eyes was also slung around his elbows, keeping him from properly using his arms, thus making him unable to prop himself up on Taekwoon's shoulders. Hakyeon was completely dependant on the strength of Taekwoon's arms as his dongsaeng held him up, his large hands at Hakyeon's waist as he took him into his hot, wet mouth and made him lose the rest of his sanity, loud moans leaving Hakyeon's throat as his dongsaeng continuously teased his already overly leaking slit with the tip of his tongue.

 

Hakyeon's already highly stimulated senses couldn't take any more and his body slowly slid toward the floor - carefully guided down and protectively cushioned by Taekwoon's supporting body - as he lost all control, his upper body hanging over Taekwoon's broad shoulder and convulsing as he finally spilled into Taekwoon's mouth while crying out in a small, strangled, slightly high-pitched voice.

 

After completely collapsing on top of his dongsaeng and needing to be lifted onto the bed by him, Hakyeon lay motionless for a while, trying to catch the breath Taekwoon had literally sucked right out of him - in more than one way! How could his dongsaeng be so fucking intense?!!

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Taekwoon's tongue once again flicked across his lower lip, tasting the last remnants of his hyung's alluring aroma, which still lingered there. After hearing Hakyeon's sexy moans and cries and knowing he'd been responsible for making him break down completely until his fiberless body had been draped over his shoulder - his hyung completely surrendering to him - Taekwoon could barely control himself anymore.

 

He finally had to find his own release, feeling like he was about to explode if he didn't pound into one of his boyfriends right now. Since he'd just exhausted the hell out of Hakyeon, who still hadn't moved an inch after he'd placed him on the bed - the t-shirt still covering his eyes and tangled around his elbows - and since he'd felt the urge to finally take Hongbin's virginity, Taekwoon placed a soft kiss on Hakyeon's lips and asked him to wait a bit before turning his full attention to Hongbin.

 

Hongbin's eyes were opened wide, following Taekwoon's every move; his dongsaeng seemed to be anticipating what he would do to him after having watched him making Hakyeon come completely undone. Seeing the uncertainty and apprehension in Hongbin's beautiful eyes and the blush slowly creeping into his face, and even reaching to the very tips of his ears, Taekwoon approached him carefully...slowly...wanting to make him feel more at ease even if his hands remained bound.

 

          "I'm not going to hurt you, nae dongsaeng," Taekwoon whispered into his ear before gently trailing his lips across his dongsaeng's until Hongbin's frozen mouth as well as his resolve melted beneath him, his lips parting invitingly to let him in.

 

Hongbin's body was nestled up against Taekwoon's as they kissed, their tongues, their lips, their essences melding. Soft sighs escaped Hongbin's throat as Taekwoon kissed him deeper and with more passion while his hand trailed down to spread his dongsaeng's legs apart beneath him. After quickly lathering his own cock with the beads of precum on its tip, Taekwoon brought it up to Hongbin's entrance and gently pushed inside.

 

          "Aah...aahhh...," Hongbin's quavering voice called out from the pain of being penetrated for the first time; though Hakyeon and he had stretched him, it still felt really tight.

 

          "Aarrghhh...," Taekwoon panted, the tightness enveloping his cock as well as the muscles additionally squeezing it giving him as much pain as pleasure, "...relax, baby, you're squeezing me too tightly."

 

          "S-sorry," Hongbin managed, though he still sounded a bit shaky.

 

Taekwoon kept his lower body as still as he could, gently covering Hongbin's lips and neck with kisses to distract him until he adjusted to the unfamiliar, large cock invading his entrance. After a few minutes, their kisses grew hotter...more desperate...again. Taekwoon could sense that Hongbin had finally adjusted to the strange feeling inside of him, his body starting to move beneath his own as though trying to encourage Taekwoon to move inside of him without actually having to ask him to do so.

 

Though Taekwoon already knew what Hongbin wanted, he felt greedy enough at that moment to want to hear him say it.

 

          "Tell me...," Taekwoon said after pulling out of the kiss they shared and looking deeply into Hongbin's eyes.

 

He could see Hongbin's Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard before answering.

 

          "What?" Hongbin asked, trying to play innocent.

 

Taekwoon would have none of it.

 

          "You already know. You know _exactly_ what I want to hear," Taekwoon simply replied.

 

Hongbin was silent for a long moment, gazing up at him as a new blush crept into his cheeks.

 

          "Tell me...," Taekwoon repeated, urging him in a deep, seductive voice barely above a whisper.

 

          "I...I want you to...to _move_...now...," Hongbin said timidly, his blush intensifying when Taekwoon just gazed at him intensely without reacting, "...aargghh..fine...I'll say it...I want you to ... _fuck me_...god damn it!"

 

Taekwoon couldn't hide the satisfied smile that crept over his face after hearing the way Hongbin had sworn while asking him to fuck him. Even as Hongbin was still rolling his eyes at him in response to his self-satisfied smile, Taekwoon did as he'd been asked, pushing all the way into Hongbin and starting to move inside him. After starting out gently, Taekwoon soon picked up his pace, pushing in as deeply as he could and making the younger cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

 

After a few minutes of fucking him hard and deep, Hongbin had already turned into a hot mess beneath him with Taekwoon continuously pounding into him. Taekwoon could already feel the familiar pressure building inside of him...just about to send Hongbin over the edge and find his own release...when he was suddenly held back mid-movement by long, slender, and slightly tanned fingers grabbing onto his shoulder.

 

Feeling somewhat bewildered and taken aback, Taekwoon's head swung to the side to gaze into Hakyeon's large, imploring eyes.

 

          "Nado...," Hakyeon said, his lower lip protruding in a small pout as he held Taekwoon's gaze with extremely large, shining eyes, suddenly reminding Taekwoon strongly of Shrek's Puss in Boots, "...me too...I want to...take him...too."

 

Taekwoon removed his hand from Hongbin's waist and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as he let out a very audible sigh and rolled his eyes at Hakyeon. If he hadn't felt as sexually frustrated as he did at that moment, he would probably have laughed at the situation.

 

_Well_ , he thought as he pulled out of Hongbin to let his hyung and leader take over,  _it's not like I didn't know what I would be getting myself into when I decided to date Cha Hakyeon!_

 

But if his leader-nim thought he could just take over without giving him anything in return, he had another thing coming. As Hakyeon positioned himself between Hongbin's legs - who had an equally startled look on his face at his and Taekwoon's love-making suddenly being so rudely interrupted by their leader-nim - Taekwoon secretly got into position right behind his hyung...just waiting for the perfect opportunity to teach the second lesson of the night.

 

          Only _this_ time, it was Hakyeon's turn.


	29. Deep Intimacy

Hongbin's eyes were immediately drawn to his hyungs' silent communication after Taekwoon had suddenly stopped moving. Though Hongbin was sure Taekwoon had already correctly interpreted the look on Hakyeon's face as well as he, himself, had, Hakyeon seemed to have decided to voice his demand out loud.

 

          "Nado...me too...I want to...take him...too," Hakyeon said while pouting cutely.

 

And while he probably should have felt as much annoyed as surprised, Hongbin couldn't stop himself from actually cracking up the very next moment, an amused smile appearing on his face and bringing out his deep dimples as he watched a completely frustrated Taekwoon once again yield to their leader-nim and let him take over mid-thrust.

 

           _Typical...Ladies and gentlemen, that's Cha Hakyeon for you,_ Hongbin thought, utterly amused by the interaction between his two hyungs and by watching the sudden determined and utterly sneaky expression stealing over Taekwoon's features, who'd positioned himself right behind Hakyeon.

 

Right away, Hongbin knew his leader-nim was in for a wild ride. He just didn't know it yet.

 

          "What's so amusing?" Hakyeon suddenly asked him before Hongbin could control his expression, suspicion evident in his voice.

 

          "Amugeosdo...anhda...Nothing at all," Hongbin tried to assure him while Taekwoon knelt behind Hakyeon winking conspiratorially at him behind Hakyeon's back.

 

Hongbin had to give everything he had to not suddenly burst out laughing just from watching Taekwoon's expression. Managing to keep a straight face somehow, he was able to stop himself from giving anything away and fully concentrate on giving all of his attention to Hakyeon. But he needn't have tried so hard, because the moment Hakyeon bent down to kiss him deeply and passionately, everything else was suddenly swept from his mind...the only thing occupying his senses his hyung's hot and utterly seductive kiss.

 

Hongbin melted beneath Hakyeon, feeling as though his body were becoming part of the mattress, while his mind floated and his heart soared. And yet, while he felt this intensely about being with Hakyeon, he'd felt the same way when Taekwoon and he had been intimate. After briefly asking himself how it was even possible to feel the same passion for two people at the same time - he'd experienced Taekwoon's kisses and touches just as intensely...just as deeply...as he was now feeling Hakyeon's - Hongbin ultimately decided to just let go of logic and reason.

 

There was no need to overthink the relationship between them...no need to try and understand how it was possible to feel the way he did...the only thing that mattered to _let_ himself experience everything they made him feel...to take what they were giving without asking why it felt so damn good...so much better than anything he had ever dared imagine in this life.

 

All Hongbin could do was let himself go...let them fulfill his needs...let himself feel the intense sensations and emotions running through his body and mind...

 

Hongbin's eyes were closed as he felt Hakyeon's hands gently remove the t-shirt still binding his wrists...his eyes were closed when he felt Hakyeon's soft lips tenderly kiss his eyelids...his eyes were closed when he felt the hard tip of Hakyeon's erection slowly push into his entrance...his eyes were closed when he felt him push into him even deeper...his eyes were closed when he felt Hakyeon's upper body descend toward his and sensed his breath mingling with his own...his eyes were closed...until Hakyeon grasped his hands and intimately interlocked their fingers just as he slowly pushed into him so deeply that Hongbin felt they couldn't possibly get any closer to each other.

 

The deep intimacy of that moment suddenly had Hongbin's eyelids flutter open and left him breathless as he gazed up at his hyung. Hakyeon's large, shining eyes above his own were filled with a tenderness Hongbin had never seen before...the emotional connection between them at that moment so unexpected and overwhelming that Hongbin suddenly felt wetness at the corner of his eyes, only realizing he was crying as the tears started to roll down the sides of his face.

 

          _Oh fuck...why am I crying?_

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Taekwoon was about to commence his surprise attack on Hakyeon, ready to make him pay for having interrupted him so selfishly and thus not really concerned about being too gentle, though, of course, he wasn't going to hurt him by not preparing him first. But the moment he decided to make his move, Hakyeon surprised him instead, the loving manner in which he had started making love to Hongbin as well as his dongsaeng's emotional response abruptly opening Taekwoon's eyes and making him backpedal.

 

Since he'd never tried to analyze their relationship before, it was only now that Taekwoon suddenly realized that although the three of them had been invested in each other from the start and had felt a deep connection and love for each other as fellow members long before they'd started dating, they hadn't really loved each other tenderly since they'd gotten together.

 

Utterly new to being in a three-way relationship...unfamiliar with the dynamics of a threesome...consumed by the newly developed lust they'd suddenly felt for one another...overwhelmed by the physical need they'd felt to satisfy their desires...and rushing ahead too fast and too hard...they'd utterly neglected to make love to each other in the way they should have.

 

Because, while it was definitely a thrilling and mind-blowing experience to have hot, hard, and slightly rough sex, it was equally important to slow down...to actually show each other how much they cared about one another...to not just have _sex_ but actually _make love_. True to his nature as a leader, as someone who always looked out for others, Hakyeon was once again the one reminding them to tame the wild beasts within and let their hearts take over, instead.

 

Taekwoon felt tears brimming in his eyes, suddenly feeling touched just thinking about the way Hakyeon always took care of the people around him and especially about all the things his hyung had done for him...the way he'd always included him in everything and had made him come out of his shell whenever he'd been too introverted to want to communicate with the rest of the world.

 

Because of Hakyeon's caring nature, he was now able to stand tall and proud on his own solo stage, confidently showing everyone around him who he really was and what he could accomplish. Because Hakyeon had pushed him...had built him up...had believed in him...he'd become the man he was today. And though Taekwoon knew he owed it all to his hyung, he'd never really outright thanked him for it, had never really told him how much it meant that he believed in him...how much he needed him...loved him.

 

And he didn't think he ever could. Even though he'd gotten much better at opening up to others, it was unfortunately still in his nature to keep his deeper feelings buried inside. He never knew how to express himself...to put into words what was in his heart. So since he couldn't tell them what he felt, Taekwoon decided to _show_ the other two what was in his heart by doing it right this time...by making love the way they should have from the beginning.

 

While Hakyeon was rocking Hongbin's body with slow, deliberate, and deep motions, Taekwoon carefully approached his hyung from the back and started covering the velvety soft skin of his neck and back with tender, unhurried kisses while his hands roamed his upper body before lovingly gliding into his hair. Though Hakyeon seemed a bit startled at first, probably not having expected Taekwoon to touch and kiss his back - and be so gentle, all of a sudden - he soon started responding to his loving touch, his body shivering and his head slightly tilting back toward Taekwoon, moving into his touch as Taekwoon's hands combed through his hair.

 

Taekwoon took his time to make Hakyeon feel appreciated before actually wetting his fingers and preparing him. When he finally penetrated him, pushing in just as slowly and connecting just as deeply as Hakyeon was connecting with Hongbin, Taekwoon started kissing Hakyeon's neck at the same time, his gaze locking with Hongbin's over Hakyeon's shoulder as he made just as tantalizingly slow and painfully deep love to Hakyeon as Hakyeon was making to Hongbin - the three of them moaning and panting just as heavily and breathlessly as though they'd been speeding toward their release.

 

Though every single cell in his body was begging him to thrust faster and harder, Taekwoon went torturously slowly. Nevertheless, he could already feel himself nearing his orgasm, the slow, but extremely deep movements of his cock inside Hakyeon's warm tightness and the powerful muscles of his hyung's ass clenching around him having already built the pressure up to a point where it was only a matter of minutes before Taekwoon's control shattered.

 

Beneath Hakyeon, Hongbin lay with his back arched and his Adam's apple deliciously and prominently on display as he moaned loudly just before spilling onto Hakyeon's and his own stomach and chest. A moment later, Hakyeon cried out in a shaky breath, swiftly following Hongbin, who'd tightly clenched around his cock as he'd come, taking Hakyeon over the edge right along with him. When Hakyeon, in turn, clenched around Taekwoon's cock as he spilled into Hongbin, Taekwoon couldn't hold on anymore, releasing his warm come straight into Hakyeon's hole before he collapsed right on top of his back without pulling out.

 

Sweaty, dirty, and completely worn out - yet utterly content - the three of them snuggled up against each other after Hakyeon and Taekwoon had pulled out, too tired to bother getting cleaned up. Taekwoon, who was lying between the others with their heads resting on his slightly sweat-slicked chest, gently pulled them closer to him and each other, engaging them in a last slow, deep, and hot kiss involving all three of them at once. Completely spent and satisfied, they soon after drifted off into a deep, comfortable sleep.


	30. Instinctively

Wonsik felt like he was caught in a dream, the intense feelings flowing through his body and invading his mind still too unreal for him to grasp. Completely overwhelmed by the soft yet equally demanding touch of Jaehwan's lips against his own, Wonsik could do nothing but follow his body's demands without even thinking about whether this was right or wrong.

 

His hands started to comb through Jaehwan's hair and gently knead the back of his hyung's neck as he deepened the kiss, feeling the intense need to get as close to him as possible. When their tongues hungrily brushed against each other for the first time, both of them sighed deeply. Jaehwan's arms reached up and around Wonsik's neck as they kissed, their bodies melting against one another. Soon, they unconsciously started grinding their groins together as their kissing became even more passionate, the friction sending delicious shivers down Wonsik's spine everytime his already hard cock rubbed against the tenting towel covering his hyung's lower body.

 

The sound of Jaehwan's labored breath and the feeling of his hyung's equally turned on body pressing against his painfully hard cock, as well as the fact that Jaehwan had started to pant and writhe underneath him in such an alluring way that his erection grew even harder, was seriously giving Wonsik a hell of a time trying to control himself.

 

But even though all of this was completely new to him...and even though they never should have gone this far after only just having realized that there was something between them - something more than just a platonic friendship or brotherhood - Wonsik simply couldn't help himself. As an idol who couldn't just date as he pleased and didn't even have time to date in the first place, he'd been lonely for a very long time. And his utterly starved body, whose needs had never yet completely been fulfilled - making Wonsik, who'd never dated even before VIXX's debut, a virgin - was instinctively taking over, irrespective of the fact that Wonsik didn't know the first thing about having sex other than what he'd learned from watching porn.

 

And even the porn he'd watched hadn't been able to prepare him for sleeping with someone from the same sex. Nevertheless, Wosik found himself unable to stop, his hands and body instinctively moving on their own. After swiftly removing the towel still covering Jaehwan's lower body, Wonsik's hands hungrily explored every inch of his body as his hyung lay fully exposed and slightly shivering beneath him with his head tilted back - his Adam's apple prominently on display - his eyes closed, and his lips slightly parted.

 

Wonsik's eyes glided across Jaehwan's body, across the invitingly perked up nipples and the lightly defined muscles in his chest and abdomen...until they finally found his beautiful, fully erect, and unexpectedly large member - though it wasn't quite as large as Wonsik's. And though he never would have believed it if someone had told him he would ever feel this way, Wonsik suddenly found his mouth watering at the inviting sight and felt the sudden, irrepressible urge to take him into his mouth.

 

Before Jaehwan had noticed what Wonsik was up to - before he could do anything to stop him from taking this next step in their still very new relationship - Wonsik had already swooped down and enveloped the tip of Jaehwan's cock in his lips, making Jaehwan's hips suddenly buck up in surprise and arousal, thereby pushing his cock even deeper into Wonsik's mouth.

 

          "Aa-aaahhh...," Jaehwan's strangled, breathless moan escaped his throat as his body trembled and his cock jerked inside Wonsik's mouth.

 

Jaehwan's body started squirming as though he was trying to move away from Wonsik's mouth. But when Wonsik's tongue darted out to cover his hyung's throbbing cock with hot, wet trails, Jaehwan surrendered on the spot, his delicate upper body curving backward, arching off the mattress as Wonsik once again descended upon him, sucking, licking, and burying his cock so deep in his throat as though wanting to swallow him whole. The more desperate the moans escaping his hyung's throat...the more painful the hands clawing at his hair as if holding on for dear life...the more it inspired Wonsik to torture him further.

 

By the time Jaehwan had turned into a hot, desperate mess beneath him and Wonsik could sense his hyung was already nearing his climax - Wonsik, himself, was so completely turned on, so painfully hard, from having gone down on him and hearing his wild moans that he was desperate to finally quench his own thirst.

 

Having released his prisoner from his mouth, Wonsik quickly undressed until he was completely naked. After deeply kissing Jaehwan once more, Wonsik sat back on his haunches and contemplated how to actually go about taking his hyung. Since he'd never done this before, he was feeling slightly apprehensive. But seeing as there was no way he could just stop and walk away from this when he was already so hard he felt he might explode if he didn't find his release...and since he felt the deepest need to get even closer to his hyung...to be inside him...to really feel him...Wonsik had no choice but to try his best to do this and get it right.

 

Remembering the porn he'd seen and what the male actors had done to prepare the women, Wonsik decided to try similar things, hoping the same would apply when making love to another man. At least knowing as little as that he couldn't just penetrate him without getting him wet first, Wonsik stuck two of his fingers in his mouth and coated them with his saliva. After hesitating for a second - what he was about to do wasn't something he'd ever imagined he'd come in contact with, after all - Wonsik brought his fingers to Jaehwan's hole and tried to push them in, suddenly realizing that his hyung's hole looked so tight, he'd have a hard time fitting in just one, let alone two fingers.

 

Wonsik immediately backtracked, bringing only one finger up to Jaehwan's hole. After taking a deep breath as though he were a novice surgeon about to perform a complicated operation for the very first time, Wonsik finally plucked up the courage to push his finger inside his hyung's entrance.

 

          "Aaa...aaarrgghh...haaa," Jaehwan moaned as Wonsik's finger slowly dug deeper into him, Wonsik's fingertip gently winding about as he erotically massaged Jaehwan's sensitive walls.

 

          "W-won...sik...ah...," Jaehwan moaned his dongsaeng's name, making Wonsik's heart beat faster and his cock jerk in response to hearing his name uttered so sexily...so desperately.

 

Jaehwan's mouth hung slightly open as he panted while Wonsik kept pulling his finger out and pushing it in deeper each time. After bending over him and stealing a few very hot and deep kisses, Wonsik decided to add the second finger, making Jaehwan moan louder at the double invasion. After instinctively scissoring his fingers for a while to widen Jaehwan's hole, Wonsik pulled them back out again, finally ready to take him.

 

Not wanting to hurt him, and realizing that Jaehwan probably wasn't wet enough, Wonsik quickly got up from the bed, hurried into the bathroom, and came back with a bottle of body lotion, which he figured should do the trick. After positioning himself between Jaehwan's legs and spreading them further, he squirted some of the liquid onto his hand and quickly rubbed it all over his erection.

 

He was just about to push into his hyung, his hands gripping Jaehwan's butt cheeks and carefully spreading them apart, the tip of his hard cock already placed at the entrance to Jaehwan's hole...when his hyung's hands suddenly reached for and covered his own - as if imploring him to wait or stop.

 

Wonsik's eyes immediately flew to his hyung's, suddenly afraid that he was actually asking him to stop...terrified that he would be rejected after feeling so desperate to finally take him...to finally experience what it felt like to bury himself deep inside him and make him cry out his name. At that point, Wonsik was fully expecting their heated amorous play to abruptly come to an end.

 

          But what he saw in Jaehwan's eyes was neither rejection nor uncertainty...

 


	31. Desperately

Jaehwan's heart was beating wildly in his chest. Ever since the two of them had tumbled onto Wonsik's hotel bed, he'd been completely at his dongsaeng's mercy. As the hyung, Jaehwan was supposed to be the more mature one, the more experienced one. Then again, he'd never exactly been mature. Among all the VIXX members, he was probably the least mature even though he was several years older than their actual maknae. So, he hadn't actually thought himself more mature than Wonsik...but he was absolutely certain he was the more experienced one.

 

In comparison with Wonsik, who hadn't had any dating experience whatsoever and who usually acted awkwardly around women and had probably never even had his first kiss before Wonsik's and Jaehwan's lips had touched, Jaehwan had actually dated a few times and had already been in a serious relationship pre-debut. So Jaehwan had mistakenly thought he'd be the one to lead Wonsik. But here he was, being completely and utterly dominated by Wonsik, who, true to his usual self, was displaying his affinity to achieve anything he set his mind on. And this time, he seemed set on making Jaehwan lose his mind and go completely crazy because of his dongsaeng's touch.

 

At first, warning bells had gone off in Jaehwan's head when Wonsik had suddenly started going down on him. For a split second, he'd actually tried to get his dongsaeng off of him...because he simply hadn't felt ready for that step. But one lick of the tip of Wonsik's tongue had sufficed to make him completely surrender and let Wonsik do anything he wanted, the feeling of Wonsik's lips and tongue on him making him bonelessly melt right into the mattress beneath his back.

 

_Never_ in all his 26 years of living had Jaehwan ever guessed that he would end up falling for someone so hard that he would immediately lose all the fight in him and just surrender his body to that person. And _never_ _ever_ would he have imagined that someone to be Wonsik!

 

And now, after having completely surrendered...and after having already moaned himself halfway hoarse from being penetrated and continuously fucked by Wonsik's expertly deployed fingers, which hadn't for one second ceased teasing his entrance and walls...Jaehwan had already passed the point of no return. This was it, he was Wonsik's...body and soul...the things Wonsik was making him feel - not just physically - making him forget the fears he'd entertained about being with another man, about falling completely head over heels for another man.

 

Though he'd reached for Wonsik's hands, halting his dongsaeng's movements the moment Wonsik had been ready to finally take him, he wasn't about to stop him from taking the two of them all the way. Quite the contrary, Jaehwan had never wanted anything more than for Wonsik to take him...to take _all_ of him...to burn him with his intense flame and leave nothing left. But before he did, Jaehwan needed him to know...to see...just how much he wanted him, the words needed to tell him so utterly escaping him at that moment - he just couldn't utter a single syllable, except for his dongsaeng's name.

 

           "Wonsik-ah...," Jaehwan whispered as he gazed up at him, hoping the burning desire in his eyes would let Wonsik know how much he wanted him...how desperately he _needed_ to feel his dongsaeng inside of him.

 

From the spark of intense emotion in Wonsik's eyes and the way he was suddenly biting down on his lower lip, Jaehwan could immediately tell his dongsaeng had gotten his message. A moment later, Wonsik's mouth was on his own and his large, hard cock was completely filling Jaehwan's hole, his dongsaeng having gently but confidently pushed it all the way into him until he couldn't penetrate any further.

 

Jaehwan forgot to breathe - not that he would have been able to get much air anyway with the wild way Wonsik was kissing him. When Wonsik's mouth finally lifted off his own, Jaehwan greedily sucked in the air he so desperately needed. But it rushed right back out of him a second later as Wonsik carefully pulled his cock back out nearly all the way and suddenly pushed it all the way back into Jaehwan's hole, making him gasp and moan loudly.

 

          "Aaaaahhh...baby...you feel so fucking good...," Wonsik whispered near Jaehwan's ear while picking up his pace now that Jaehwan had gotten used to the size of his cock, "...it feels so good being inside of you...aaaahhhh...Jaehwannie...I want you sooo...badly...I'm going crazy right now."

 

Wonsik's seductively whispered words in Jaehwan's ear were almost enough to make him come right on the spot, his voice so low and husky...the way in which he'd talked down to him, calling him Jaehwannie instead of hyung, only adding to Jaehwan's arousal as his younger lover dominated him further - which Jaehwan found he completely got off on. Uncharacteristically - because he'd always been more of a prankster - Jaehwan abruptly found himself talking dirty.

 

          "Fuck me...," the words suddenly spilled from Jaehwan's mouth without conscious thought.

 

Though he'd always pegged himself as the romantic type who would describe what they were doing as 'making love' - and though he truly thought of it that way - he found himself asking Wonsik to 'fuck him' instead, feeling too aroused to be able to control his tongue.

 

          "My pleasure..." Wonsik replied, thrusting harder into him, making Jaehwan abruptly cry out - more out of pleasure than from the pain, though he felt both equally intensely.

 

But the pain was nothing in comparison to how it made him feel to have Wonsik pound into him with utter abandon, feeling his whole body being shattered by his no longer innocent, but fiercely overwhelming lover, who was pushing all of Jaehwan's buttons and continuously hitting his sweet spot.

 

          "Aaarggh...yes...ooaahhh...Wonsik-aaaahh....harder...," Jaehwan moaned as his dongsaeng thrusted into him, his moans only accompanied by Wonsik's own deep moans and heavy panting and by the sounds of wet slapping as he plunged into Jaehwan's hole.

 

When Jaehwan thought he couldn't take anymore, already feeling the pressure reaching its highest point, Wonsik took him even further, drawing out his orgasm so long that Jaehwan found his body convulsing more than it ever had when he'd pleasured himself as he finally came and spilled all over himself.

 

          "Oooaaaaahhhh...," a deep, resonating sound escaped Wonsik's throat as the muscles in Jaehwan's ass gripped his dongsaeng's dick tightly as he came, squeezing Wonsik so hard that he came only moments later, filling Jaehwan's body with his warm, thick sperm.

 

Panting and shivering - with their hearts racing desperately inside their sweat-covered chests - the two of them finally lay on the bed after Wonsik collapsed on top of him, their bodies completely exhausted, only their lips and tongues moving as they kissed tenderly yet deeply in the aftermath of their heated, frenzied lovemaking.

 

While his eyes were still closed, Jaehwan could feel a warm wetness gathering at the corners of his eyes. Surprised, embarrassed, and trying to hide them before Wonsik could see him crying, Jaehwan quickly opened his eyes and reached for the tears with the backs of his hands to quickly wipe them away...when he gazed right up into Wonsik's glistening, equally tear-filled eyes.

 

No longer needing to feel embarrassed at openly showing his emotions as both of them were crying after having made love, Jaehwan lowered his hands again and simply let the salty tears roll down his cheeks, not minding one bit when the wetness on his and his dongsaeng's skin intermixed as they continued to kiss long after they should have stopped in order to finally let their tired bodies find the rest they needed. 

 


	32. Shocked to the Core

The moment Hyuk awoke, opening his eyes to the still dark and quiet hotel room, he could immediately sense that Taekwoon wasn't there. Because, although there were two beds in the room, Taekwoon liked to share the same bed whenever they were away from home - perhaps needing to feel the comforting presence of someone like family, someone who felt like a home away from home to him. So, the mere fact that he couldn't feel Taekwoon's body heat next to his own meant that Taekwoon had taken off in the middle of the night...unless he'd merely gone to the bathroom. But since he could see through the slightly ajar door that the light in the en-suite bathroom was turned off, Hyuk sincerely doubted it.

 

Though Taekwoon tended to not sleep all too well when he was away from home and it wasn't unusual for him to get up and walk around a bit - and although Hyuk wasn't about to butt into Taekwoon's business and tell him when to come and go - he suddenly had such a bad feeling about his hyung's absence that he felt the need to at least check on him. If he saw him in the lobby or just outside the hotel entrance getting some fresh air, he'd feel relieved enough to be able to go back to bed. But he simply had to see that his hyung was safe before there was even a tiny chance he'd calm down enough to fall asleep again.

 

After quickly getting dressed, he pocketed the key card to their room, got on the elevator, and rode all the way down to the ground floor. After unsuccessfully searching the lobby, the hotel bar, and the outside area surrounding the hotel - going so far as walking down the dark and mostly deserted street in both directions before returning - Hyuk swiftly got on the elevator and headed back to their floor, feeling slightly panicked all of a sudden. Since this had never happened before - he'd always known where to find Taekwoon whenever his hyung had had trouble sleeping - Hyuk's very first thought in his sudden state of unrest was to go straight to their leader.

 

Hyuk's fisted hand was already raised in front of Hakyeon and Hongbin's hotel room door as he abruptly hesitated, wondering if it was really okay to wake them up so late when he wasn't really sure if Taekwoon hadn't perhaps just gone to one of the bathrooms on the ground floor, which he'd forgotten to check, when sudden unmistakeable sounds which would have halted his attempt at knocking even if he'd been in mid-movement reached his ears even through the thick walls and door in front of him.

 

Shocked beyond measure at hearing the moaning sounds that could mean only _one_ thing coming from Hakyeon and Hongbin's room, even more so since he'd realized Taekwoon's voice was among those desperate moans - there was no way in _hell_ Hyuk wouldn't recognize each and every single voice of his beloved fellow members! - Hyuk's knees gave out from under him, making him slide right down the surface of the door, his suddenly trembling hands covering his mouth to keep himself from making any startled noises.

 

          _What?...What the fuck?! What the hell is going on?_

 

Hyuk couldn't believe it. No...he must have been wrong...it simply couldn't be! But even the feeble attempt at convincing himself that what he'd heard with absolute clarity couldn't possibly be what he'd thought he'd heard couldn't hold up while the unmistakable, now even louder moans of his fellow members continued to attack his ears as he sat huddled against the door.

 

Hyuk remained at that exact spot in the dimly lit corridor for quite some time, hugging his knees to his chest while trying to make sense of what was going on...trying to understand how something like this could even have happened - and without his knowing about or even guessing at their suddenly extremely 'close' relationship.

 

When he was at last certain that his legs wouldn't give out from under him anymore, Hyuk finally got back to his feet, his still slightly unsteady steps unconsciously carrying him down the hallway...not to his own room but the room of someone who could perhaps share the confusion and uneasiness he was suddenly feeling.

 

Not that he was against same-sex relationships. Though he was one hundred percent straight, he'd always thought gay couples were cute, and he liked the - in some countries _utopian_ \- idea of two men who loved each other being able to openly declare their love and share their lives, and even get married. And there had been one or two instances in the past when he'd actually felt a bit gay, himself, for a certain male idol after seeing him perform; and at those times he'd actually caught himself wondering what it might be like to be gay and be with that person - although he'd immediately shied away from the thought again, seeing as it simply wouldn't do to engage in fantasies involving one of his fellow member's best friends! So, it wasn't like he was against such relationships, per se.

 

But this was very different. This wasn't just anybody...these were his fellow members...his brothers...his family. What if things went wrong? What would happen to their group if it didn't work out between them? Not to mention the fact that this wasn't just a male on male, but a male on male on male relationship! How could the three of them possibly have sex with each other...all of them...together...at the same time?!

 

Hyuk hadn't thought he was the innocent type...not since a long time ago. He'd grown up, he'd watched his fair share of porn - perhaps a bit more than his fair share, but who cared - so he wouldn't have described himself as innocent. But what he'd just discovered in front of that door had shaken him so badly that he suddenly felt like the most innocent person on earth, not even able to grasp the idea of a threesome between Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin. He'd never even imagined his hyungs in any kind of sexual scenario before, let alone fucking each other.

 

          Ugh...that was like thinking about one's own parents doing it!

 

Hyuk desperately needed a brotherly shoulder to lean and cry on, needed to immediately share this scandalous information and lessen the burden of carrying this secret all by himself, his now slightly urgent strides bringing him straight to Wonsik and Jaehwan's door. For the second time in less than half an hour, Hyuk was just about to rap on the door...when the same kind of sounds that had made him slide right to the floor earlier once again drifted toward his ears.

 

But instead of history repeating itself...instead of Hyuk simply sliding to the floor in shock and hugging his knees to stop himself from shaking, a denser darkness than the shadows enveloping the dimly lit corridor suddenly swallowed him whole as he lost consciousness on the spot, his body crumbling to the floor in front of his fellow members' door completely unnoticed by the desperately moaning lovers on the other side.


	33. Handsome Friend

Hyuk's eyes slowly opened up to the still dimly lit corridor outside Wonsik and Jaehwan's hotel room door as he gradually came to. A bit bewildered at finding himself lying on the floor, wondering what he was doing there and how he'd ended up there in the first place, it took him several moments to recall the memories he would have loved to just have forgotten about.

 

Since the corridor was still dark, Hyuk guessed he couldn't have been out cold for too long. After quickly getting back on his feet, he hurried to his and Taekwoon's room as fast as his still shaking legs would carry him and slammed the door shut behind him as soon as he was inside. But now that he'd escaped to the safety and solitary of his own room, where he thought he'd be able to calm down and feel a bit better after a while, he realized that the 'safety' he'd thought he'd feel was nothing but an illusion.

 

Because, now that he sat alone in a room that felt too large, too quiet, and too empty to be of any comfort to him, the memories of what he'd heard and the weight of what he'd discovered came crashing down on him harder than before, the whole magnitude of it only really hitting him now that he was awake and able to fully grasp the situation instead of being unconscious.

 

          _Not only are Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin doing it...Wonsik and Jaehwan are involved, as well! Have they all gone crazy?!_

 

And where the hell did that leave him...as the only one not involved? Suddenly, he felt oddly left out. Even if he couldn't approve of what they were doing, he still couldn't help feeling left out, as crazy as it might sound. They'd always done things together...as a group - except for their solo activities, of course. And even when LR had been formed, the other members helped them at times or even just came to their shows to support them, so Hyuk had still felt that their activities were done as a part of their group.

 

But this suddenly felt different. Without Hyuk's knowledge - completely behind his back - the members were meeting each other, spending time with each other without him. And even though it was because they were doing something Hyuk clearly didn't want to be a part of - because he really couldn't even stomach the thought of partaking in any sexual practices with his brothers...ugh - he still couldn't stop himself from feeling jealous of the extra time they were spending with each other while he was left by himself. He knew it wasn't really logical to feel that way, but he simply couldn't help it!

 

And while he sat in the room, feeling lonely, the word 'anger' couldn't even describe the feelings suddenly taking hold of him. He loved his fellow members dearly, but they'd gone too far. Even though Hyuk suspected that none of the lovers even know about the other couple - probably not realizing that every single member of the group, except Hyuk, was involved - Hyuk abruptly felt more than justified in making them suffer a bit. And seeing as the members and the entire fandom had already labeled him as the evil maknae, Hyuk felt he might as well live up to the name they'd given him.

 

Since they were all so keen to keep sneaking around behind everyone else's back in order to keep their relationships secret, Hyuk was going to put a spoke in their wheel. Of course, he wouldn't reveal their relationships to their management or anyone within their company, nor would he tell anyone who would use this knowledge against them. But he wouldn't need to anyway in order to get his revenge. It would be more than enough to reveal it to their closest friends, to the ones who would never want to hurt them by revealing their secrets but who would definitely look at them differently once they found out they were actually having sex with their fellow members.

 

Even in his current state of anger and rage, Hyuk knew it was wrong, knew he shouldn't do this. But the part of him that had been aching terribly after realizing that they were all sneaking around behind his back, and the part of him that had been immediately taken back in time to the moments when he'd felt left out because they'd all known each other a long time before Hyuk had arrived to take the place of other trainees who hadn't made their debut in favor of Hyuk being chosen - were driving him to see this through. And even though this wasn't him - he may be called an evil maknae, but he would never do anything like this under normal circumstances - the feeling of betrayal clawing at his heart just wouldn't listen to reason.

 

So, Hyuk found himself being presented with the perfect opportunity to finally do what he'd planned after they arrived back at the dorms after finishing their schedules in Japan - during which Hyuk had endured and kept from letting his fellow members know that he'd found out about them. Though keeping the perfect poker face and acting as though nothing was wrong on top of performing and showing his love to their fans during the concerts had drained almost every ounce of his energy, Hyuk had persevered, waiting for the perfect moment.

 

And he didn't even have to wait that long, hadn't even needed to go through the members' cell phones to find their friends' contact numbers, because fate had simply dropped the first candidate in Hyuk's lap right at the perfect time. While everyone else was out engaging in their solo activities, Hyuk had remained at the dorm since he had the day off, when the doorbell suddenly rang and an all too familiar figure stood in front of the door, looking for one of the members.

 

          "Jaehwan hyung isn't here right now...but he'll be back any moment," Hyuk lied through his teeth at the smaller yet older and incredibly handsome heartbreaker standing on their doorstep in a pink sweater, knowing full well that Jaehwan wasn't going to be back for several hours - the perfect moment to have an intimate little talk with his best friend.

 

          "That's okay...," the idol replied as he stepped through the doorway carrying more than one plastic bag, "...I was going to cook for him anyway...might as well start if he'll be back soon."

 

Hyuk closed the door and followed Jaehwan's friend down the hallway, his stomach suddenly lurching uncomfortably, not only because he abruptly felt the tiniest bit apprehensive about what he was about to do...but because, incidentally, this was the very male idol who'd caused him - more than once - to actually wonder what it might be like to be gay.

 

          How ironically fitting...and oh so not funny!

 


	34. Tension

Jin hurried down the hallway, heading straight for the kitchen with Hyuk following closely on his heels. He'd been at VIXX's dorm plenty of times before when visiting Jaehwan and knew his way around the place, including the kitchen. Since he was actually a really good cook and genuinely enjoyed trying out new recipes, he'd often cooked for Jaehwan and himself when visiting.

 

After setting the bags down on the counter, he immediately started unpacking the groceries he'd bought, trying to get over the bit of awkwardness he felt in the larger boy's presence. Because although he'd been there rather often, Jaehwan's fellow members hadn't been around during those times, having been occupied with other things. So, even though Jaehwan was one of his best friends and Hyuk actually was close to his own fellow BTS member Jimin, Jin didn't really know Jaehwan's fellow members all too well and had only ever seen them at music broadcasts or other events. Therefore, he couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable about being alone with the tall maknae, not knowing what to talk to him about and fervently wishing Jaehwan would come back to the dorm as soon as possible.

 

And the fact that the larger male kept bustling around his back, opening cabinets to get out cookware and other kitchen utensils Jin might need - although Jin knew only too well where to find each and every single appliance and utensil he needed - wasn't at all helping his feelings of unease. After almost bumping into him for the fourth time, when both of them grabbed for the handle of one of the kitchen drawers at the same time - Hyuk's hand trapped beneath his own suddenly pulling back as though the tall maknae had been burned by Jin's touch - Jin had finally had enough.

 

          "Why don't you...please...just...sit down or go and do your own thing...while I do the cooking...okay? I've cooked here plenty of times before, so even though I'm sure you mean well, I would really feel more relaxed cooking on my own," Jin said, trying not to let his impatience and annoyance seep into his voice since he knew the younger was only trying to help him out.

 

          "Oh...yeah...sure...sorry," Hyuk replied, his hand combing through his hair in what seemed like a nervous gesture while he slowly backed away from him and plunked himself down in one of the dining table chairs to watch him cook.

 

Jin could feel the heat slowly creep into his cheeks; he was feeling more uneasy now that the maknae was watching him so intently instead of trying to help him out. This wasn't at all what Jin had had in mind when he'd asked him to let him cook on his own. With Hyuk's eyes following his every movement, Jin suddenly felt very insecure, very vulnerable, though he couldn't really explain why he felt that way - since it wasn't at all like him to feel insecure or worry about how other people perceived him.

 

          "I'm not making you nervous, am I?" Hyuk's sudden, completely unexpected question actually made Jin's usually steady hand drop the knife it had been holding, which fell right onto the cutting board, bounced straight off the onion he'd been about to slice, and ended up nicking the side of his hand.

 

          "Aargh...," Jin cried out, feeling the sharp blade slice his skin.

 

Though it didn't appear to be that serious, the depth of the cut was nevertheless sufficient to draw enough blood to have the bright red liquid start running down his hand and wrist in a thin line as he held his now slightly shaking hand up to his face to inspect the wound.

 

Unexpectedly, and to Jin's further dismay, Hyuk had immediately left his seat and was standing in front of him - nearly right in his face - grabbing his wrist too tightly for his peace of mind while inspecting the injury. While Jin was still busy adjusting to the fact that Hyuk's extreme nearness was inexplicably resulting in an uneasy, yet at the same time weirdly exciting fluttering in the pit of his stomach, Hyuk had already wrapped a clean, freshly laundered kitchen towel around his hand to stop the bleeding.

 

Jin's breath immediately caught in his throat when he gazed up at the taller maknae, realizing how intimately they were standing together with both of Hyuk's hands tightly gripping Jin's bleeding one...his imposing body only inches away...his expressive eyes holding Jin's gaze. Though he tried very hard not to, Jin abruptly found himself doing what he always did when meeting someone else's gaze for longer than a few seconds and actually ended up winking at Hyuk.

 

And though it didn't have a deeper meaning - it was just something he tended to do, a habit he'd picked up some time, he didn't even know when - Hyuk immediately seemed to misunderstand, dropping his hands and backing away from him as though he'd only just realized Jin was poisonous. But instead of feeling the need to explain his habit of winking at people to the maknae and put his mind at ease - because Hyuk seemed to think Jin was outright flirting with him, trying to come on to him - Jin decided to just let him think whatever he wanted, feeling genuinely relieved that Hyuk had finally backed away from him, his nearness having made him feel oddly off-balance.

 

While Jaehwan's fellow member eventually sat down in front of the living room tv, far enough away from Jin to finally make him feel at ease while cooking although he could still follow his movements through the open door, Jin busied himself with preparing dinner - making sure to cook enough pasta for _three_ people, since he couldn't really be so impolite as to not include the maknae when he was at the dorm as well.

 

Half an hour later, Jin finally called Hyuk to the table before the pasta could get cold, having waited longer than he normally would have as he'd still been hopeful that Jaehwan would burst through the front door in time to join them. Belatedly realizing that he should never have started cooking even when Hyuk had said that Jaehwan would be back any moment, Jin heaved a deep sigh before placing the prepared dishes of pasta on the table.

 

          "We might as well start eating already...otherwise my efforts will simply have gone to waste...pasta really isn't that delicious when it's cold," Jin said as Hyuk cautiously approached the table, looking just as uncomfortable with the idea of just the two of them having dinner together as Jin, himself, felt.

 

Nonetheless, the tall maknae pulled out a chair, sat down, and waited for Jin to join him. Once Jin had settled down, as well, Hyuk started to coil a fork full of the creamy pasta and slowly brought it to his mouth - pausing for a moment to inhale its fragrance before actually eating it, as though he didn't quite trust Jin's cooking. The moment the fork full of pasta disappeared into the maknae's mouth, Jin could actually see the pleasantly surprised look on the younger's face right before he heard the small - and immediately suppressed - sound of delight escape his throat.

 

Despite the uneasiness VIXX's maknae was making him feel, Jin actually caught himself smiling in satisfaction for a split-second before he managed to regain control and put on his poker-face once more, scolding himself for feeling much too much pleasure in the fact that Hyuk seemed genuinely delighted by his cooking - even if the younger had tried to hide this fact from the cook.

 

Without asking himself why he found it so satisfying that the maknae liked his cooking, and without asking himself why he also found himself reaching for the parmesan cheese he'd forgotten to add to the younger's dish, Jin was just about to sprinkle some of the cheese on top of Hyuk's pasta when the maknae surprised him by grabbing his wrist mid-movement.

 

Jin's heart actually skipped a beat at the touch of Hyuk's warm skin against his own. The next moment, the small plastic container of parmesan slipped from his grasp, landing on the table between their plates with a dull thump and cheese spread everywhere.

 

          "I hate cheese," the maknae's low voice reached Jin's ears, his charismatic and intense eyes holding Jin's gaze just as strongly as the hand still wrapped around his wrist - even though the container of cheese had long since dropped to the table and wasn't a threat to Hyuk's pasta anymore.

 

Jin didn't know what to say...or do. Completely frozen and unable to even blink like he usually did when looking into someone's eyes for too long, Jin merely stared back, painfully aware of the lack of oxygen in his lungs, the tight grip around his wrist, and the ever-growing tension between them. After what felt like an eternity, Hyuk finally broke eye-contact and let go of his wrist.      

 

          "Actually, it's a good thing that I have you all to myself...," Hyuk said after another uncomfortable minute of silence, unexpectedly making Jin's stomach lurch, the words the maknae had used sounding oddly suggestive, "...I actually had something important I wanted to tell you." 


	35. Unexpected

Hyuk found himself having doubts about the plan he'd come up with. Something was definitely off about Jaehwan's friend. He couldn't really put his finger on the exact reason why he felt so strange in his presence. Because there really shouldn't be any reason for him not to treat him like any other idol he'd come in contact with. True, he didn't really know that much about him, but that alone shouldn't have made him feel so uncomfortable - and neither should it have unsettled him when their hands had touched as they'd grabbed the same handle or when Jin had actually winked at him.

 

Hyuk had had plenty of one-on-one encounters in the past with people he didn't really know or had never met before. And he'd never felt the least bit awkward around them - well, perhaps with the exception of his fellow members, around whom he'd felt a bit awkward at first, especially Taekwoon; but that must have been because everything in his environment had been new and unfamiliar, with Taekwoon's extreme poker face and intense stare not being of any help! Other than that, Hyuk had never had any problems or felt insecure when spending time with people he didn't know.

 

Until now...until he'd actually found himself completely alone for the very first time with the only male who'd ever made him actually feel a bit 'gay' toward another idol on more than one occasion; until he'd abruptly found himself wanting to be near him, had been compelled to rush to his side when he'd cut himself, and had even felt the urge to grab his wrist over an excuse so stupid as wanting to stop him from sprinkling cheese over his pasta - though he really did hate cheese!

 

Suddenly wondering how in the _world_ it hadn't occurred to him that being alone with Jin would turn out to be an extremely bad idea when he'd already noticed before how strong an effect the older had on him, Hyuk could only silently curse at himself. Because, at this point, it was already too late to do anything about the situation he was in. He couldn't very well throw Jaehwan's friend out after he'd even cooked such a delicious dinner for them.

 

And it wasn't like Hyuk had suddenly given up on his revenge, either. He still wanted to go through with his initial plan. So, even though he was feeling uncomfortable as fuck, there was no way he was going to send Jin home without telling him about Jaehwan's naughty activities.

 

          "Actually, it's a good thing that I have you all to myself...," Hyuk suddenly heard himself say, hating the ambiguousness and highly suggestive undertone of the words that had simply popped out of his mouth before he'd actually had a chance to think about what to say next, as though his mouth were functioning on autopilot, "...I actually had something important I wanted to tell you."

 

          "O-kay...," Jin's strained-sounding reply reached Hyuk's ears, the older seeming rather tense as he waited for him to continue.

 

Abruptly, Hyuk started to wonder what reason Jin could possibly have to feel so tense around him? It couldn't be that he was actually making Jin feel nervous, could it? Then again, hadn't he dropped the knife as well as the container of Parmesan out of nervousness? Or was he just naturally clumsy? 

 

The longer Hyuk thought about the older's behavior throughout his visit, the more he felt that he must not have been the only one to feel awkward ever since Jin had stepped through the door. And the reason he'd felt that way, he suddenly realized, seemed to have been the direct result of the unfamiliar yet clearly tangible tension between them, which he'd felt from the very beginning and which had been steadily growing throughout their encounter. Having just heard the nervousness in Jin's voice, Hyuk was suddenly sure that Jin had felt the tension between them just as strongly as he, himself, had. Earlier, he'd thought he was the only one so strangely affected by Jin's nearness...now he was beginning to think the feeling might be mutual.

 

Which, quite frankly, scared the shit out of him and nearly made him abandon his plan and ask him to leave. But after calming himself down for a moment, while Jin patiently waited for him to finally come out with the issue he wanted to talk about, Hyuk decided to just ignore what he felt and continue.

 

          "Why don't you go ahead into the living room...let's talk there, it's more comfortable...I'll make us some coffee," Hyuk suggested, playing for time, needing to get at least _some_ of his composure back before they talked.

 

When Hyuk finally entered the living room area and set two steaming, fragrant mugs down on the small, wooden coffee table before sitting down opposite the three-seater Jin had plunked himself down on, he was finally ready to put his plan into action.

 

          "There's something you need to know about your best friend...," Hyuk said, starting to get straight to the point when he was suddenly interrupted.

 

          "Why...," Jin immediately asked, sounding worried, "...did something happen to him?"

 

          "I guess you could say that!" Hyuk replied, his voice positively dripping with sarcasm, which, of course, didn't escape Jaehwan's friend, making him abruptly narrow his eyes at Hyuk as he carefully gazed at him.

 

          "Aren't the two of you more than just fellow members? I actually thought you were like brothers...or friends, at the very least...But somehow the vibe I'm getting from you right now while your talking about your _hyung_ isn't a very respectful or friendly one," Jin said, hitting the nail right on the head; Hyuk had to admit the boy was quick on the uptake.

 

          "You're right...," Hyuk immediately agreed; there was no reason to beat around the bush, "...then again, he hasn't yet managed to gain back my respect after what he's done...So I have no qualms being disrespectful toward him."

 

          "Waah...," Jin replied, "...I'd actually heard that you're called the evil maknae, but I hadn't really expected you to be this horrible."

 

          "Horrible? What do you even _know_ about it? You don't even know what he's done!" Hyuk heatedly defended himself - even though, deep down, he couldn't help but agree with him.

 

          "I _know_ that you're sitting here with me now, with someone you don't know and have never really talked to before, about to tell me about my best friend's misconduct...discussing my best friend's private business when you and I have absolutely no relationship with each other... And the only reason for you to do this that I can think of is that you're trying to make him look bad in front of someone he cares about...that you're trying to put him to shame...And to be honest with you, what you're trying to do is actually so low that I can't imagine any misconduct on his part that would deserve such an act of retaliation from someone who's supposed to be like family."

 

Hyuk remained silent for a long moment; he really had nothing to reply to that; Jin was absolutely, one hundred percent right. It was horrible of him to do so...and he had no excuse except the continuous aching of his heart whenever he thought about how all of his members had lied to him and snuck around behind his back...making him the '6th' wheel. Certainly, that wasn't really something deserving of being put to shame in front of others. But still, Hyuk couldn't help but feel that the acute pain and betrayal he felt wouldn't go away unless he did something... _anything_ to lessen the hurt he felt.

 

And since he couldn't seem to think clearly and level-headedly enough to get past this in his currently angry state of mind, Hyuk once again ignored Jin's words as well as his own rising guilt and continued with his original plan.

 

          "Well, although I'll admit that you used all the fitting words and that you're absolutely right, I think you still might feel a bit differently once you actually know just what your esteemed friend has been up to lately. You see, he...," Hyuk began but was rudely interrupted by Jin's hand suddenly grabbing him tightly and not too gently by the scruff of the neck.

 

          "I think I didn't make myself clear enough earlier...," Jin said, getting right up in his face while baring his teeth, "...I don't care what sins he's committed...I won't believe a single word, anyway, unless he tells me to my face. And I sure as hell won't discuss my friend's private business when he's not around...I won't go behind his back!"

 

          "Exactly...," Hyuk replied, a dry, humorless laugh escaping his throat, "...that's right, isn't it?! You shouldn't go behind your friend's back...shouldn't sneak around and lie to a friend!"

 

The expression of surprise on Jin's face at hearing Hyuk's passionately spoken words lasted only for a second, replaced the very next moment by one of utter disbelief as Hyuk used the older's moment of inattentiveness to grab him around the waist, flip him onto his back on the very three-seater he'd been sitting on, straddle him, and securely pin his arms above his head.

 

          "I guess you'll have no choice but to listen now," Hyuk started out, only to swiftly lose his focus when he noticed the way Jin was gazing up at him, the anger or perhaps defiance Hyuk had fully expected to see in his eyes nowhere to be found; nor did he appear inclined to fight back and throw Hyuk off, though his body didn't look at all inferior to Hyuk's in strength. 

 

Instead, Jin's eyes were wide and deep pools of insecurity and confusion. Instinctively, Hyuk sensed that it, however, wasn't the kind of confusion resulting from having been surprised by Hyuk's unexpected attack, particularly since he caught the subtle yet unmistakable movement of Jin's eyes as they accidentally dropped to Hyuk's lips and lingered a split-second too long before he managed to pull his gaze away again. Even if Hyuk had thought he'd merely imagined it - Jin's movements had been so fast that he nearly hadn't caught the moment - the pink flush slowly creeping up the older's face was the clear indication that it had actually happened.

 

Hyuk's whole body froze...his breath catching in his throat as he gazed down at eyes filled with an expression so raw and so magnetic - though Hyuk wasn't sure if he saw confusion, fear, or desire...or a mixture of all three - that he abruptly felt himself being drawn in almost against his will and better judgment...and suddenly found his lips caressing Jin's, urging him to open up beneath him and let him in.

 

But instead of taming the 'beast' with his gentle yet seductive kiss, he seemed to have awakened it, the frozen body beneath his own finally coming back to life as Jin violently pushed Hyuk away from him, slapped him in the face with so much force that Hyuk felt he might actually end up with a concussion, and threw him off of him before running straight for the door and disappearing from sight - leaving an utterly confused and horrified Hyuk alone on the floor of VIXX's suddenly even lonelier dorm living room.

 

          _Fuck!_      


	36. Seeing Reason

Hakyeon came back from his schedule, feeling completely drained. Hoping he'd finally get to see Taekwoon and Hongbin - or at least _one_ of his boyfriends - as it had been quite a few days now since they'd last seen each other due to their busy, separate schedules, Hakyeon entered the living room only to be shocked by the scene awaiting him. Lying on the floor next to the couch was their maknae, looking as though he'd fallen off and simply stayed there, neglecting to pick himself back up, his face covered with a mixture of fresh and already dried tears.

 

Hakyeon dropped his bag and immediately rushed to the younger's side, beyond worried at seeing his dongsaeng in such a miserable state - all kinds of wild scenarios of what could have happened running through his mind.

 

          "Hyukkie...wegre? What happened? Are you okay?" Hakyeon asked, his movements urgent as he hastily knelt beside the younger and protectively slung his arms around his trembling body.

 

Though,  _what_ he was actually trying to protect him from by hugging him close, Hakyeon could only guess at since Hyuk remained silent, not responding to his question in any way. However, Hakyeon wasn't even thinking about giving up so easily. He was the mom of the group, after all, so it was his responsibility to get to the bottom of whatever was distressing one of his 'kids' and help him in any way he could. Besides that, Hakyeon felt his heart break for the boy he'd slowly watched grow into a young adult over the years, who now sat there appearing hurt and more child-like than ever before.

 

          "Won't you please tell me what's going on?" Hakyeon tried again, this time in a quiet, soothing, and emotion-filled voice, which he hoped might convey how sincerely he wanted to make things right for him again.

 

Though the younger seemed to contemplate for quite a while whether to actually answer this time around, he finally shook his head, remaining silent in the end. While Hakyeon was still busy wondering if he'd perhaps done something wrong...if what Hyuk was upset about could actually have something to do with _him -_  since his dongsaeng seemed to be avoiding his gaze - Hyuk let out a deep, shaky sigh and laid his tearstained cheek on Hakyeon's shoulder, seeking his hyung's comfort. Hakyeon immediately dismissed the thought again that Hyuk could be angry with him, guessing his dongsaeng wouldn't be leaning on him if that were the case.

 

          "It's okay...," Hakyeon said, one of his hands soothingly combing through Hyuk's slightly disheveled hair as the other gently rubbed his arm, "...you don't have to tell me if you don't want to...But when you're ready to share what's on your mind...I'm here for you...I hope you know that."

 

At this point, Hyuk actually started crying harder, his whole body heaving in the older's arms, making Hakyeon suddenly wonder what could possibly have been bad about the words he'd used to try and comfort him.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hyuk felt his hyung's soothing warmth reach him just as deeply as his heartfelt words and simply couldn't stop himself from bursting into tears anew. Here he'd been, feeling outraged, angry, hurt, and alone...having momentarily gone completely crazy and forgotten just how often his hyungs - especially Hakyeon - had been there to take care of him, comfort him, help him. And now he was once again being held and soothed by one of the very ones he'd tried to hurt. While hot tears kept spilling from his eyes, Hyuk silently asked himself just how in the world he could have gotten so utterly worked up after what he'd found out about them that he'd even considered exposing them. Suddenly, he felt guilty as hell about what he'd attempted to do and about every bad thought he'd had about them.

 

Especially, since he couldn't have been taught a better lesson than the one he'd just gone through. Filled with anger and contempt for their choices, and completely lacking understanding, Hyuk had set out to do what he'd thought was right - and justified - only to find out that he hadn't had the slightest right to judge them...that it wasn't as easy as to simply say it had been their choice to fall for a fellow group member. Because now that he'd experienced it in person, he'd come to understand how one could suddenly find oneself falling for someone without having expected it or even while being against it. Because, although one might have a very clear notion about the desired kind of relationship in one's mind, the heart wanted what it wanted.

 

And his own heart, he now realized, seemed to want Jin - even though it made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever. And he couldn't even lie to himself and argue that the attraction he felt was of a merely physical nature. For, the very moment Jin had slapped him across the face as though utterly disgusted by Hyuk's attempt at kissing him, Hyuk had realized that what he wanted from the older was not only his body.

 

After the few instances when he'd first felt attracted to him, he'd been secretly watching him from afar whenever he'd gotten a chance to be at the same venue. Though he'd never acted on the attraction he'd felt and had never analyzed his feelings - because, why should he even spend too much time thinking about another male? - he nevertheless seemed to be drawn to him whenever he was in his presence. And what had started out as a simple attraction appeared to have grown over the years after Jin had continuously impressed him with his skills and appearance. And yet he hadn't actually realized just how highly he thought of the older or how desperately he wanted Jin to like him in return...until he'd gotten slapped in the face by him.

 

That's when he'd known that a) he wanted him and b) he'd just royally fucked up!

 

And what he'd known, as well, was that he'd been a fucking hypocrite for wanting to punish his fellow members for something they seemed to have had just as little choice in as he had. They'd fallen for each other just as Hyuk had so unexpectedly fallen for Jin - the older's seductive cooking skills and the adorably nervous way in which he'd behaved in Hyuk's presence having finally sealed the deal before he'd been able to resist. And just like his fellow members, Hyuk was dead set on keeping what had happened between them and the fact that he liked him a secret. He had absolutely no intention of ever telling them, finally understanding how his hyungs must feel...how they must fear others' harsh judgment. So, he could no longer be the least bit angry at them for not having told him and for sneaking around behind his back.

 

He finally got it...

...Now that he'd found out that he liked another male as well...

...Now that he knew he would have kept such a relationship secret as well...

 

Not that he'd ever actually find himself in such a position, though. Not after he'd completely fucked up and foiled any chances he might have had with Jin by showing him the hateful, spiteful, and utterly shameful side of him...the number one moment in his life when he'd done something terrible he wasn't proud of and would have loved to erase from Jin's as well as his own memory. But what was done was done...he'd blown it, simple as that.

 

Feeling at least relieved that Jin's actions had stopped him from revealing Jaehwan's and the other members' secrets, and vowing to make it up to each and every one of his fellow members - he would treat them so well, they wouldn't know what had hit them - Hyuk hugged Hakyeon closer, nuzzled his cheek against his hyung's shoulder, and apologized...even if Hakyeon didn't have a clue what he was apologizing for.

 

          "I'm sorry...hyung," Hyuk said sincerely before pecking his 'mom' on the cheek.

 

          "Sorry for what?" Hakyeon asked, clearly confused.

 

          "I...I can't tell you...I'm too ashamed...just...just believe me...and accept my apology," Hyuk replied, hoping his hyung would simply acquiesce to it, no questions asked - which, he knew was asking a lot from Hakyeon, who was probably one of the nosiest people Hyuk knew.

 

But contrary to his expectation, Hakyeon merely wiped the last traces of tears from his cheeks, smiled at him tenderly, and nodded.

 

          "It's okay...Hyukkie...whatever it is...I accept your apology...Now please stop worrying...and don't cry anymore...I really can't see you cry."

 

Utterly relieved, grateful, and filled with a new kind of appreciation for his hyung and leader-nim, Hyuk slung his arms around Hakyeon's waist and snuggled closer to him, vowing to never disappoint him or the other members again - though, thankfully, they would never know what he'd almost done!

 


	37. Jealousy

Taekwoon walked into the living room to find their maknae on the floor next to the couch with Hakyeon hugging him close, the two of them looking extremely intimate. Before he could come to understand the situation or hide the obvious expression of jealousy on his face, Hyuk discovered his presence - peeking past Hakyeon's shoulder - and immediately pushed him off of him, making their shared moment seem even more suspicious.

 

Suddenly wondering what the fuck Hyuk had done with _his_ hyung and wanting nothing more than to have him utterly to himself, Taekwoon didn't even hesitate when he walked right up to the two of them, unceremoniously grabbed Hakyeon's wrist, hauled him to his feet, and stormed off towards his room, dragging his seemingly very confused hyung along behind him.

 

Apparently too overwhelmed and shocked to utter a single word, Hakyeon only opened his mouth once they had reached Taekwoon's room and the door had been safely shut behind them.

 

          "Jung Taekwoon...," Hakyeon started out, making sure from the very first second that Taekwoon knew just how displeased he was with his best friend and lover, "...just _what_ do you think you're doing right now? How can you just grab me like that and force me away from Hyukkie when I'm trying to comfort him? Have you gone mad?"

 

           _Yes, I've clearly gone mad...I'm madly jealous...because of you,_ Taekwoon silently confessed in his head, saying absolutely nothing as he continued to stare at Hakyeon intensely while keeping the poker face that tended to make people around him uncomfortable because they could never guess what he was thinking.

 

Hakyeon's eyes gradually narrowed as he stood with his arms crossed, staring back at him just as intensely. After a few moments, Hakyeon surprised him, the anger that had been written all over his face suddenly vanishing completely as he finally came up to him and threw his arms around his waist, begging to be hugged back.

 

          "I understand now...Sorry that I made you jealous...But you must realize that you were in the wrong to just pull me away like that...Our Hyukkie is hurting right now...and I need to take care of him...just like I always do with each of the members...There's no need to be jealous...Taekwoonnie."

  
Taekwoon didn't even have to ask how Hakyeon was able to read him so well and forgive him so easily upon sensing that his dongsaeng was already slightly regretting what he'd done - though he probably also knew that Taekwoon would do it again in a heartbeat. Because between the two of them, it had already become second nature to communicate silently, no words needed for them to fully understand one another.

 

          "I'm sorry...I lost it when I saw the two of you sitting so close...I shouldn't have reacted...that way," Taekwoon said, wrapping his arms around his hyung, hugging him even tighter to his body, and placing a kiss on the top of his head.

 

Though Taekwoon felt a bit better after having apologized, he nevertheless couldn't help but feel that the misunderstanding hadn't been entirely his fault, seeing as the way Hyuk had reacted by immediately pushing Hakyeon away from him had made it appear as though they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have. And though he, of course, trusted Hakyeon, Hyuk's actions had made him momentarily lose his mind and suspect the worst. But Hakyeon's explanation that he'd been comforting him had made sense as soon as Taekwoon's anger had subsided and he'd been able to think rationally again. Still, why Hyuk had reacted that way when there'd been nothing going on was a complete mystery to Taekwoon.

 

          "It's okay...," Hakyeon responded, his voice gentle and not in the least reproachful, for which Taekwoon was extremely grateful - he already knew he'd fucked up, no need to have his nose rubbed in it, "...just promise me...that you won't do it again...we might get caught if you're openly jealous like that again."

 

          "Okay...promise," Taekwoon replied before tilting Hakyeon's head up and swooping down to possessively claim his lips, nothing about the kiss chaste or innocent as he hungrily took control, the jealousy that had taken a hold of him before still not having completely subsided even though he knew he'd been in the wrong.

 

Hakyeon, however, didn't even seem to mind his utterly wild and desperate approach, his hyung kissing him back just as passionately. Just then, the door to Taekwoon's room was thrown open to reveal an equally jealous Hongbin, who was in the midst of telling both of them off for making out without him, but didn't get very far before Taekwoon simply grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulled him close, and kissed him just as intensely, making all of Hongbin's complaints simply die on his tongue.

 

           "We're being way too obvious, guys...," Hakyeon said after finally being able to come up for some air when Taekwoon pulled back from the kiss, breathing heavily and in desperate need of some oxygen, "...we really shouldn't do this here...at the dorm...Hyuk probably knows we're all in Taekwoon's room together...What if he comes in?"

 

Taekwoon answered the question in the easiest way he knew - not wanting or needing to use many words to convey how little he presently cared about being found out...or about what anyone else, especially Hyuk, might think of them - and simply locked the door. Though it might be extreme and utterly wrong of him to even think so, Hakyeon and Hongbin were _his...his alone_. 

 

          And he'd be damned if he let anyone else come between them! He wanted them to himself and he wanted them _right here, right now_ \- even more so, since seeing Hakyeon hugging Hyukkie close had made his blood boil with jealousy just a short while ago, increasing the need he felt to take his boyfriends right now, even if there'd been a completely innocent reason behind Hakyeon and Hyuk's intimate skinship!

 

          "I guess that means the discussion is over," Hongbin translated Taekwoon's nonverbal response to Hakyeon's concerns, though Taekwoon was sure his hyung had already fully understood on his own, as the suddenly worried expression and the frown on Hakyeon's face seemed to indicate.

 

Probably knowing full well that there was no way on earth he was going to get through to him in his worked up state to dissuade him from what he'd already put his mind to, Hakyeon remained silent and let Taekwoon do whatever he wanted.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hongbin had been waiting to be with the two of them for days now. It had been way too long since they'd last been intimate, and he couldn't wait to feel their touch again - even if Hyuk found out...even if Jaehwan and Wonsik found out as well. At that moment, Hongbin simply couldn't get himself to care enough. Therefore, he was more than thrilled to find that Taekwoon seemed to feel exactly the same way, simply locking the door to give them the privacy they needed without worrying _who_ found out that they were all in the same room behind a locked door doing God knows what.

 

The only one who still seemed hesitant - though he had already surrendered and refrained from trying to change their minds - was Hakyeon, who stood between them...surrounded by them...with a clearly uncertain expression on his face as Taekwoon and Hongbin slowly moved closer to him from both sides and started to kiss him.

 

          "Are...we...really...doing...this...here?" Hakyeon managed to get the words out in between kisses as Taekwoon as Hongbin slowly backed him up to the edge of Taekwoon's bed.

 

          "Yes...," Hongbin breathed into Hakyeon's ear while Taekwoon simply nodded instead of answering.

 

To emphasize his reply and show him how badly he meant it, Hongbin grabbed him tightly by the back of his neck and descended on him, kissing him hard and deep, making him gasp in surprise.

 

          "Hongbin-ah...," Hakyeon breathlessly addressed him once Hongbin had pulled back from the kiss, "...why are you being so aggressive today?"

 

          "Wae-yo...silheo-yo?...Do you hate it?" Hongbin carefully asked.

 

Even though he was aware of behaving in a rather aggressive manner, he hoped Hakyeon would understand that he was currently too excited, too turned on, his urgent need too intense after having waited so long to enable him to slow down and be gentle. Hoping his hyung knew him well enough to understand that he wouldn't cross the line and actually hurt him even if he didn't say it out loud, Hongbin merely gazed into his eyes, trying to convey what he couldn't really put into words right then.

 

          "No...no, I don't," Hakyeon finally replied after studying Hongbin's gaze, "It's okay...you don't have to be too gentle with me."

 

Hongbin didn't hesitate after getting his hyung's approval, and neither did Taekwoon, who'd clearly been listening to every word even while his nimble fingers had been busy unbuttoning Hakyeon's shirt, unbuckling his belt, and unfastening his jeans. While Taekwoon hurriedly tore Hakyeon's now open shirt off of him and tossed it to the floor, Hongbin crouched down in front of Hakyeon and pulled his pants and briefs down in one swift movement. Then he pulled his hyung's socks off before getting back to his feet and ridding himself of his own clothing. By the time he was done, Taekwoon - who'd quickly gotten undressed as well - was already grabbing Hakyeon by the wrist and silently guiding him onto the mattress.

 

Just when all three of them had settled down on the bed - Hakyeon lying between his two dongsaengs - Hongbin suddenly realized that it would have been better to bring the bottle of lube from his room since he knew that Taekwoon didn't have any. He was just about to jump up from the bed, throw his clothing back on, and get it from his room when Taekwoon's tight grip on his wrist immediately stopped him in his tracks.

 

         "Where are you going?" Taekwoon asked, a pronounced frown on his face.

 

          "I was just going to get dressed real quick and fetch the bottle of lube from my room...," Hongbin explained, "...unless you have some body lotion or oil in your room?"

 

Taekwoon merely shook his head and continued to stare at him intensely, his grip around his wrist remaining unyielding. He clearly wasn't going to let Hongbin move even an inch off the bed, which instead of shocking or annoying Hongbin was actually turning him on like crazy. Though others might feel suffocated or alarmed by Taekwoon's extreme possessiveness - and although Hongbin was perhaps in desperate need of therapy for even feeling this way - he couldn't help but think that his hyung looked hotter than ever when his domineering side surfaced.

 

           "Then what do you suggest we use?" Hongbin finally asked when it was clear Taekwoon wasn't going to explain or add anything to his minute shake of the head.

 

Once again, instead of answering, Taekwoon simply showed him. After grabbing Hakyeon - who looked a bit confused but obediently went along with it - around the waist with his free hand and turning him onto his front, Taekwoon gently spread Hakyeon's legs apart, knelt between his hyung's muscular thighs, and lifted his body up until Hakyeon was on his knees in front of him with his firm butt high in the air and right in Taekwoon's face.

 

Apparently having realized the only thing this could mean, Hakyeon suddenly started to squirm away from him, obviously wanting nothing to do with what Taekwoon was planning. But the hand still tightly wrapped around Hongbin's wrist swiftly let go in order to grab Hakyeon around the waist to assist his other hand in tightly holding Hakyeon in place as he relentlessly moved toward his hyung's exposed backside, clearly intent on fully getting him wet without the use of lube or body lotion.

 

 


	38. Reckless Behavior

A shiver ran down Hakyeon's spine the moment he realized what Taekwoon was up to. At the same time, he could feel his cock twitching from excitement. Nevertheless, what Taekwoon was about to do wasn't something Hakyeon had ever expected him to, and he was suddenly feeling above shy, wanting to melt into the mattress beneath him in embarrassment.

 

Trying to get his bare backside as far away from Taekwoon's mouth as possible, Hakyeon started to wriggle away from his dongsaeng only to find himself held back the very next moment by Taekwoon's iron grip on his waist. Realizing that there was no way his dongsaeng was going to let him escape, Hakyeon finally stopped resisting, closed his eyes, and waited.

 

Even while anticipating the moment Taekwoon's mouth would touch his backside - his breath catching in his throat, the only sounds distracting him the unsteady rhythm of his frantically beating heart - it nevertheless came as a complete shock to him when Taekwoon's warm tongue started to lick him, the slippery wet tip lazily drawing circles around the very rim of his now twitching hole.

 

          "Aaaarrghh...aaaahhh...aah," the needy moans spilled from Hakyeon's throat; he was making sounds he was sure he'd never made before, the feeling of Taekwoon's tongue on him driving him crazier than he'd ever felt before.

 

          "Aaaaahh...Jung...Taekwoon...what...the fuck...are you....doing...to me...," Hakyeon managed, though his trembling voice was only just above a whisper.

 

Taekwoon didn't answer, his mouth much too busy making needy sounds escape from Hakyeon's mouth. Then again, Hakyeon hadn't expected him to reply, anyway, and merely continued to brace himself for everything his dongsaeng was going to do to him. Just when he'd gotten used to the mindblowing experience and managed to calm himself down a bit, Hongbin - who seemed to have decided to join in for the 'torture' session - scooted up to Hongbin's crotch and took Hakyeon's already painfully hard cock into his mouth.

 

          "Aaaaangggghh...aaaahhh...ough...oh...God...aaah," Hakyeon moaned loudly, unable to stop himself, feeling he might actually explode from this kind of overstimulation as both of his dongsaengs were hungrily attaching themselves to his most intimate body parts at the same time.

 

Hakyeon could feel his eyes roll back into his head as he completely gave himself over to the intense feeling of pleasure, his body and mind carefully registering even the smallest of touches...

 

...Taekwoon's gentle fingers pulling his buttocks further apart...

...Hongbin's lips sliding up and down his twitching erection...

...Taekwoon's mouth sucking on his hole...

...the tip of Hongbin's tongue licking up the underside of his cock...

...the tip of Taekwoon's tongue licking around the rim of his hole...

...Hongbin's tongue licking at his slit...

...Taekwoon's tongue suddenly dipping into his hole...

 

Hakyeon's lower body bucked, his cock twitched, and his hole tightened like crazy, the muscles in his ass tightly gripping Taekwoon's tongue. But instead of being fazed by this, Taekwoon merely used the tips of his fingers to pry his hole open further and continued pushing his warm, wet tongue into Hakyeon's hole, leisurely teasing his inside walls with excruciatingly delicious strokes that had Hakyeon panting and moaning desperately and soon after spilling right into Hongbin's mouth while the spasming muscles in his ass sucked in Taekwoon's tongue even deeper.

 

Hakyeon's shaking knees finally gave out from under him after he came. He was only just able to hold himself up long enough for Hongbin to release his still leaking member and pull out from under him before he collapsed onto his stomach completely drained, his orgasm still racking his body long after he should have come down from it. Thinking he'd have a few minutes to catch his breath before his dongsaengs assaulted him again, Hakyeon soon found he was badly mistaken.

 

Because what followed was a whole night of the two younger men ruthlessly taking him in every possible way they could think of...fucking him long, hard, deep...and both at the same time...over and over...making him come so many times, he couldn't believe it was even possible. By the time they finally stopped, the sun was already up. Spent beyond words, every muscle in his exhausted body happily aching, Hakyeon snuggled closer to his dongsaengs, contentedly closed his eyes, and drifted into a deep sleep.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hyuk's body was shaking slightly beneath the almost too hot yet soothing stream of water. After Hakyeon had just left him sitting there - well, admittedly he hadn't chosen to leave but had been dragged away by Taekwoon instead - Hyuk had finally gotten up off the floor and taken off in the direction of the bathroom, not wanting to be anywhere near Taekwoon's room since he was pretty sure what would be going on behind that door - especially since Hongbin had run right past him and joined the other two.

 

Even though he'd finally made his peace with the whole situation and his fellow members' love lives after what had happened between him and Jin, he sure as hell wasn't going to stick around to listen to them doing it. _Once_ had been quite enough, thank you very much! Fervently hoping that they'd be long done by the time he came back out of the shower, clean and fully dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, Hyuk was surprised to find them still very much at it as he stepped out of the bathroom - he could hear Hakyeon's loud moans even from there.

 

Before he could make a run for his room, he was even more surprised to find the dorm's entrance door suddenly open right next to where he stood and two of his fellow members and one all too familiar and unwelcome guest step into the dorm, their steps faltering slightly when they came directly upon him standing there.

 

          "Hyukkie? Did you just come from taking a shower?" Wonsik asked him after taking in his still slightly wet hair.

 

          "Where are the others...are they home yet?" Jaehwan asked at the same time, a spark of curiosity soon lighting up his eyes when Hyuk didn't answer and instead looked straight past him at the friend silently standing behind Jaehwan's back.

 

Instead of meeting his eyes, Jin kept his eyes locked on his friend. Noticing the direction of Hyuk's gaze, Jaehwan swiftly explained his friend's presence.

 

          "Aah...Jin called me up a little while ago and reminded me that we were supposed to meet here. I'd completely forgotten. Of course, you're aware that he was here earlier...he said he even cooked for the two of you, right? Anyway, he said he'd lost his wallet here earlier, that's why he's back...since you seemed to be wondering about it," Jaehwan said in such a completely normal tone of voice that Hyuk was sure his friend hadn't mentioned _one_ word about what had happened between them - which Hyuk hadn't at all expected, but for which he was enormously grateful.

 

Before Hyuk could respond in any way, a very specific, very obvious sound drifted toward them, interrupting the momentary silence.

 

          "What was that?" Wonsik and Jaehwan asked at the same time, curiosity as well as suspicion evident in their voices.

 

Hyuk's thoughts were spinning in circles as he tried to think of a way to keep them from finding out what was going on in Taekwoon's room. But before he could think of anything to say or do to distract them, Wonsik had already set off toward Taekwoon's room at such a high speed that everyone else was finding it difficult to keep up as they hurriedly followed him down the hall. 

 

   


	39. Cat Out of the Bag

Wonsik could hardly contain himself as he hurried down the hall and straight toward Taekwoon's door, where the sounds were coming from. Even before he'd reached his hyung's door, he'd already come to two conclusions.

 

One: the sounds coming from Taekwoon's room sounded an awfully lot like moans made during hot and sweaty sex.

 

And two: they were coming from Hakyeon's mouth.

 

           _What the fucking fuck?!_ was all Wonsik could think at that moment, too surprised and shocked by the sudden knowledge that the two best friends were actually doing each other...or rather, Taekwoon seemed to be doing Hakyeon, judging from the way it sounded.

 

In a hundred million years, Wonsik would never have expected this! He'd thought he and Jaehwan were the only ones who'd crossed the line between being fellow members and brothers and becoming actual lovers. He'd definitely been wrong. And although he'd known all along that something weird had been going on with some of the other members, he hadn't thought it would be something like this. And where the _hell_ Hongbin even fit into any of it - since he'd been trying to find out this whole time what the _three_ of them were hiding and sneaking around for - Wonsik still had no idea...

 

...until he suddenly, unmistakeably heard Hongbin's voice coming from the other side of the door...

 

Wonsik dropped to his knees in shock...the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together - though he rather wished they wouldn't! A threesome? It simply couldn't be. Wonsik felt completely stumped, his gaze immediately seeking the expressions on the others' faces to see how they were taking it. While Jaehwan and Jin seemed just as shocked as Wonsik, himself, Hyuk's face was merely one of total resignation as he silently gazed at the floor instead of meeting Wonsik's eyes.

 

          "You knew?" Wonsik immediately asked his dongsaeng after picking himself back up off the floor, his voice barely above a whisper as he didn't want the trio on the other side of the door to discover that they'd been found out - that would just be too embarrassing for everyone involved!

 

          "Yes...I found out a short while ago," Hyuk whispered in reply before the four of them soundlessly hurried away from Taekwoon's room and headed straight out the door - right after Jin retrieved his wallet from underneath the couch, where it must have dropped during his earlier visit.

 

Once outside, and finally out of earshot of Hakyeon's desperate moans, they decided to head to the nearest coffee shop - though if Wonsik were being completely honest with himself and the others, he would have immediately suggested they go for a very stiff drink, instead. Yet not knowing how the others would take his sudden need to down anything containing alcohol, he simply went along with Jaehwan and Jin's suggestion to go for coffee at a nice place they often met up at.

 

While Jin volunteered to get their drinks and Hyuk disappeared into the bathroom, Wonsik and Jaehwan quickly sat down at a table for four facing each other. Not knowing how much time they would have alone, Wonsik finally looked Jaehwan straight into the eyes - which he'd avoided ever since finding out about the trio in Taekwoon's room for fear of being found out by Hyuk and Jin. He couldn't help but feel that his facial expression would immediately give away the fact that Taekwoon, Hongbin, and Hakyeon, in fact, weren't the only members secretly spending 'quality time' with each other.

 

          "You don't think...Hyukkie...actually knows about _us_ , too...do you?" Wonsik addressed the first and most important thing on his mind right then.

 

Because if he'd found out about VIXX's trio long before Wonsik and Jaehwan had, then chances were he might have found out about the two of them as well.

 

Instead of answering, Jaehwan merely shrugged his slightly trembling shoulders and shot him a furtive, somewhat fearful glance before quickly lowering his gaze to the table in front of him. It seemed Wonsik wasn't the only one who was afraid of giving their relationship away by looking at his boyfriend directly.

 

Torn out of his musings the moment Hyuk joined them at the table and plunked himself down right next to him, it took Wonsik only a moment to realize that this would be the best chance he'd get to sound out their maknae before Jin returned with their drinks. And though he wasn't at all sure he'd like what he was about to find out, he couldn't wait a moment longer; he simply had to know.

 

After glancing at the counter to see that it would still take a while for all the drinks to be ready to be brought to the table, Wonsik quickly directed his attention to Hyuk.

 

          "Hyuk-ah...," Wonsik started, feeling so nervous he only just managed to keep his voice from shaking, "...when...when did you...err...find out about...you know...about the others?"

 

Hyuk hesitated for a moment before replying. When he did, Wonsik could feel his heart sink right into his boots.

 

          "When we were in Japan...," he replied, those few words already enough to make Wonsik break out into a cold sweat, "...I woke up to find Taekwoon hyung gone from the room...so I went to look for him. I couldn't find him anywhere...so I went to Hakyeon's room to ask for his help...because I thought...I thought perhaps something bad had happened to him...That's when I...heard...the three of them...just like we heard them today."

 

          "Aah...I see...so you just went back to your room...after that?" Wonsik asked while his heart pounded awfully loud inside his chest.

 

Hyuk took a long time to answer, his inner conflict clearly written all over his face. He seemed torn about whether or not to say what was on his mind, perhaps something of a delicate nature. At least that was the impression Wonsik got - the impression which turned out to be spot on when Hyuk finally spoke.

 

          "No...," Hyuk replied at long last, his voice low and hesitant, "...I went to your room first."

 

Wonsik waited with bated breath for Hyuk to continue, but the maknae had fallen silent, now only communicating with the intense, knowing glance he suddenly shot at him - the glance which all too strongly implied everything Wonsik feared.

 

          "Yes...I heard...the two of you...as well," Hyuk whispered just in time before Jin reached the table with their drinks to find a party of three completely awkward fellow members who couldn't get a word out or even look at each other.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

After having waited for what felt like an exceptionally long time for their drinks to be done, Jin finally arrived at the table only to want to run in the opposite direction right after he'd gotten there, the atmosphere between the three fellow VIXX members so tense that one could have cut it with a knife. Not knowing what to do to lighten the mood or get any of them to open their mouths, Jin merely distributed the drinks, kept his mouth shut, and loudly sucked in his iced coffee through the straw, needing to do at least _something_ to interrupt the uncomfortable silence.

 

While the other members continued to avoid each other's gazes, Jin used the opportunity to repeatedly steal glances at Hyuk, who was seated opposite him with his eyes glued to the table. Jin had absolutely no idea what had just happened between them to kill the atmosphere like that, but he gladly used the moment to properly observe Hyuk for the first time after what had happened between them earlier.

 

Taking in his appearance now - he actually looked really young - Jin simply couldn't believe it was the same person who'd not too long ago overwhelmed him, thrown him onto the couch, and pinned his arms above his head...the same person who'd...kissed him...who'd made his heart beat like crazy...who'd caused a sudden aching in his lower region...who'd made him so desperate to defy his own longing that he'd ended up slapping him across the face and leaving - although it had been worlds away from what he'd really wanted to do. 

 

He also couldn't believe it was the same person who'd been angry and spiteful and looking for revenge on his fellow member only a few hours ago. Something must have changed since then; at least Jin couldn't see an ounce of the evil maknae he'd been back then. But what he could see very clearly was that his eyes were oddly red and puffy, as though he'd been crying.

 

Though a part of him still felt very angry with Hyuk for having wanted to do something horrible to Jaehwan, another, much larger, part of him was beginning to feel intrigued and even more attracted to the maknae, especially since he seemed to look so young and innocent - when he'd been far from it just a short while ago as he'd grabbed him and tossed him around as though he were nothing but a ragdoll. Hyuk was a complete and utter mystery to him, and suddenly Jin wanted nothing but to get to the bottom of what he was really like.

 

Deeply lost in his thoughts, wondering what he could possibly do to make up for the fact that he'd slapped him and whether or not Hyuk would accept an apology or perhaps not even want to talk to him again, Jin was a bit taken aback when the oppressing silence at the table was finally interrupted.

 

          "Why don't the three of us continue our discussion another time...I think we're making Jin uncomfortable," Jaehwan suggested, the need to take care of his friend seemingly overweighing the awkwardness he felt.

 

The other members simply nodded in agreement and then gradually started to talk their way out of an embarrassing silence by discussing totally unimportant, boring, but safe matters. And though the atmosphere was by no means light and carefree, it was a lot better than before. By the time they were ready to leave, things had almost returned to normal and the four of them were chatting comfortably with one another - with the exception of Jin and Hyuk, who hadn't spoken a word to each other.

 

When they finally returned to VIXX's dorm two hours later - Jin had gladly walked them all back, wanting to stay and support his friend who hadn't yet gone back to his usual playful self and still seemed a bit shaken - they were more than surprised to find that the three of them were still at it. After turning straight on their heels and heading back out the door, the three fellow members discussed what they should do. Since staying there and listening to those kinds of sounds all night was out of the question, they needed another place to stay at.

 

          "I'll just sleep at my studio...that way I can get some work done as well," Wonsik said while Jaehwan and Hyuk remained silent, apparently still thinking about where to crash.

 

Feeling an obligation to take care of his best friend in this situation - even if he didn't particularly like sharing his room these days since he'd had to share with his fellow members for years - Jin quickly invited Jaehwan to sleep over. The look of relief and gratitude on Jaehwan's face as he accepted was one Jin had fully expected. What he hadn't expected, however, was that Jaehwan seemed to think his invitation had included the maknae, who appeared just as shocked as Jin was when Jaehwan thanked him in both of their names.

 

Before Jin could find the words to say how very, very bad it would be for Hyuk to spend the night at his place as well - he couldn't possibly let Jaehwan find out what had happened between them, so he couldn't actually say anything at all without appearing totally impolite - Jaehwan was already linking arms with the maknae and pulling him in the direction of Jin's car.

 

And though it was more than obvious that Hyuk was just as much against spending the night in Jin's room as he continuously tried to dissuade Jaehwan and kept telling him he'd crash at another friend's place instead, it wasn't of any use in the end because Jaehwan kept insisting he come along.

 

After Wonsik said goodbye to them, Jin led the way to his car, silently cursing inside his mind all the way to the parking lot - because when he'd grudgingly admitted to himself earlier that he was intrigued and wanted to know more about Hyuk, spending a whole night in one room with him wasn't at all what he'd had in mind! 

 


	40. Rolling in the Dark

Hyuk still didn't know how exactly it had happened...how the universe seemed to once again have come up with the perfect way to torment him. He couldn't believe what a day he was having...from being suddenly overwhelmed by the more than inappropriate attraction he felt toward Jin...to actually kissing him on the whim of a moment without his permission, thus earning himself a slap in the face...to finally ending up sleeping in the same room only hours after he had come onto him and been brutally rejected.

 

As if it hadn't been enough to have to spend hours at the same table with him slurping coffee as though nothing was wrong between them, he was now forced to be in his presence the entire night when all he really wanted to do was to disappear into a small, quiet, and safe place away from everyone else and just lick his wounds for the rest of the night. It hadn't been the easiest thing for him to pretend that Jin's presence didn't deeply unsettle him. Ever since the latter had returned to the dorm with Wonsik and Jaehwan, Hyuk had felt like he was walking on hot coals, he hadn't even been able to look him in the eyes _once_ throughout the whole evening.

 

Feeling as though there simply wasn't enough oxygen in the room, Hyuk struggled to breathe properly as he lay on the makeshift bedding on the floor right next to Jin's bed, feeling as though every breath he took in the utterly dark and unfamiliar space would resound much too loudly as it cut through the deep silence. Even though he knew it was kind of stupid, he was trying his best not to draw unnecessary attention to himself, already all too aware of the small distance between his and Jin's bodies, seeing as the latter, who was sharing his bed with Jaehwan, had let his friend sleep next to the wall upon his request. Which practically left Jin sleeping right next to Hyuk, even if they were lying at different floor levels.  

 

Hyuk was sure he'd never _ever_ felt this uncomfortable in his entire life! How on _earth_ he was supposed to get even a wink of sleep under the circumstances was completely beyond him. As several minutes had ticked by torturously slowly, and he could finally hear Jaehwan's soft and even breathing as the latter slept, Hyuk was just about to get up and walk around outside the room a bit since he couldn't sleep, when the unthinkable happened. How exactly it had come to this, Hyuk couldn't even say - although if he should make a guess, he would say that Jaehwan seemed to have rolled around in his sleep unexpectedly and pushed Jin right off the edge of the much too small bed...and directly onto Hyuk.

 

For a second, Hyuk wasn't even sure if this could really be happening...or if he'd perhaps gone insane and was only imagining things. And yet, all the overalert senses in his body were screaming that the warm and tangible weight now resting on top of him as though frozen after just having completely knocked the wind out of him was very, very real. And so was the warm, uneven breath that gently tickled Hyuk's nose.

 

The seconds ticked away as Hyuk held his breath, waiting for Jin to apologize for falling on him and quickly lift himself off, while his thoughts more than once returned to the moment that night when they'd been in reverse positions with Hyuk lying on top of Jin...when Hyuk had kissed him...and Jin had smacked him for it. Which was why Hyuk felt totally stumped, wondering why Jin hadn't moved off of him yet when he'd clearly been vehemently against skinship mere hours before.

 

Not sure what he should do, but thinking anything was better than to just remain in that highly intimate position...in the dark...with someone he still felt extraordinarily attracted to, no matter what had happened earlier - more importantly, he was already starting to feel an all too familiar ache - Hyuk reached for Jin's shoulders, about to gently push him off...

 

...when soft lips suddenly brushed against his own so lightly that it almost didn't feel real.

 

While Hyuk was still trying to get over the shock of what had just happened - after Jin's powerful reaction to his kiss earlier, this was the _last_ thing Hyuk would ever have expected - Jin's mouth descended on his own a second time. Whereas he'd been hesitant before, his movements were much surer this time around, his lips confidently caressing, his teeth gently tugging...his tongue daringly entering and exploring, making Hyuk's body shiver and his cock grow hard in response. Jin seemed to feel the heated response of Hyuk's body the second the bulge grew beneath his own, the older starting to kiss him even more passionately while grinding his own erection against Hyuk's.

 

Hyuk's arms tightened around Jin's upper body, pulling him even closer...

Jin buried his fingers deeply in Hyuk's already rumpled hair...

Jin's tongue stroked against his own in a way that made the blood boil in Hyuk's veins...

Hyuk passionately grabbed the older by the shoulders and rolled the two of them around until he was the one on top...

Jin immediately pulled him down closer and kissed him deeply before playfully biting into Hyuk's lower lip...

Hyuk responded by kissing and biting him back, his hand sneaking down Jin's body at the same time...

Hyuk's hand confidently moved between Jin's legs, stroking him none too shyly through the thin fabric of his pajama pants...

Jin started to writhe underneath him, a relatively loud moan escaping his throat as Hyuk continued to slowly rub his hand all over his erection...

 

Suddenly Jaehwan jolted awake on the bed right above them with a loud grunt, making Hyuk and Jin immediately scramble out of each other's arms and lay in the darkness far away from one another panting heavily yet trying not to make a sound until they could hear Jaehwan's even breathing once more.

 

          "Let's continue this another time...," Hyuk soon after heard Jin's soft whisper, the words immediately followed by a sweet, chaste kiss before he crawled back into bed next to Jaehwan.

 

And though he knew it was for the best - he couldn't believe they'd been so stupid and had gotten so carried away that they'd nearly done much worse to each other with Jaehwan only inches away - Hyuk lay awake feeling unsatisfied for what felt like an eternity, his heart beating wildly and his cock aching desperately long after they'd stopped.


	41. Fucked Up!

Jaehwan slowly opened his eyes, yawned widely, and started to stretch his joints only to realize a moment later that it was nearly impossible for him to move - something quite heavy seemed to be weighing him down. Upon slightly turning his head and managing to peep through half-lidded eyes, he found Jin fast asleep with his much larger body lying halfway on top of him and one of his legs draped over his waist. Although Jaehwan had slept right through the night, only waking up once for a brief moment, he still didn't feel completely rested. Now he understood why - he'd been used as an oversize pillow the entire night. 

 

While he contemplated how to move Jin off of him without actually waking him, Hyuk's soft breathing drifted toward him from the floor next to the bed; the maknae seemed to be soundly asleep as well. After reaching down, carefully grasping Jin's ankle, guiding his friend's leg off of his body, and gently pushing the rest of his body off, Jaehwan was just about to scoot away from him and let him continue to sleep when Jin was startled awake by one of Jaehwan's clumsy movements and rolled right off the bed.

  
          "Aaargh...what...the hell...," Hyuk wheezed after having being hit hard in the gut by Jin's elbow when the latter had fallen onto him before rolling off and coming to a stop halfway across the room.

         

          "Yah!" Jin called out, holding his shoulder and cursing, "Why do you always knock me off the bed?!"

 

          "What do you mean by 'always'? When did I ever knock you off before?" Jaehwan shot back, confused by Jin's words, "And for the record...I didn't knock you off...you rolled right off."

 

          "Aah...sorry...y-you're right...never mind," Jin quickly backpedaled, suddenly seeming nervous as he coughed and avoided meeting Jaehwan's gaze, who abruptly found his friend's behavior very suspicious.

 

But at that moment he couldn't care less about what was going on in his friend's head; they seemed to have slept longer than intended, and the maknae and he really needed to get ready and leave to make it to the group's scheduled dance practice on time.

 

          "Hyuk-ah...come on, let's get up...we'll be late for practice," Jaehwan quickly urged his dongsaeng while jumping up from the bed and heading for the bathroom to freshen up.

 

          "You go clean up first, I'll be right there," Hyuk called after him, making Jaehwan turn around and look back at him...and making him notice the slightly odd, almost shy expression on the younger's face.

 

Something definitely seemed to be up with the maknae, but whatever it was Jaehwan didn't have time to think about it right then. Vowing to ask him about it later when they had a moment, he pushed the thought to the back of his mind and hurried to get ready, knowing they needed to be extra quick so that they could grab a small bite on the way instead of going hungry all throughout practice. 

 

By the time he, Hyuk, and Wonsik - whom they'd run into right after entering the building at Jellyfish Entertainment - walked through the door to their practice room 40 minutes later, they encountered three very quiet, very nervous, and quite obviously distraught fellow members who simply stood in the middle of the room with lowered heads while anxiously wringing their hands.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hakyeon still couldn't believe what his two dongsaengs had done to him all night long, his whole body aching and feeling as though it had been battered as he slowly made his way to the bathroom. Even though every single moment had been well worth the pain he felt in the aftermath of their wild night, he couldn't help but grunt and grimace every now and then as he freshened up and got ready for a long day of practice, already feeling apprehensive about moving faster than at a snail's pace - not to mention what full-on dancing would do to him!

 

When he'd finished his helping of breakfast and the other two joined him at the table, Hakyeon started to get slightly nervous after gazing at the clock on the wall. It was high time the other three members finally joined them and had their breakfast; otherwise, they would end up being late for practice. After waiting a few minutes longer, Hakyeon finally decided to check on the missing members, thinking it was rather odd that they hadn't shown up yet, especially since they rarely needed to be woken by Hakyeon anymore because Hyuk tended to wake the others nowadays if they happened to oversleep.

 

After having unsuccessfully burst into the bathroom and two of the three members' rooms - without feeling the need to knock first, of course, being the leader and all - Hakyeon finally barged into Wonsik's room to find _it_ , too, completely empty. Up until that very moment, he'd still had hopes of finding an irritated Jaehwan and Hyuk trying their hardest to wake up a sleepy-as-fuck Wonsik who simply didn't want to budge. But as he found himself staring at an empty room with no idea where half of their group had suddenly disappeared to, that last hope finally went up in smoke.

 

Lost in thoughts of where the others could possibly be...of what could possibly have happened to them - had they perhaps snuck out secretly to party? - Hakyeon didn't even hear his boyfriends' footsteps approaching and only noticed their presence when Hongbin suddenly spoke.

 

          "Where is everyone?" Hongbin wondered aloud.

 

          "That's what I'm trying to find out," Hakyeon replied while Taekwoon, who was standing right next to Hakyeon with his arm draped around him, merely shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in reply to Hongbin's question.

 

          "I don't understand...," Hongbin continued, "...why would all three of them suddenly disappear...together? They've never done something like this before...and they must have come back to the dorm yesterday...although we didn't see them...because we were...err...distracted...so why...why..."

 

Hakyeon couldn't believe they'd been so stupid! Although, actually yes, he'd already known they were unbelievably stupid! And hadn't he been the one to point out to the other two the previous night that they simply shouldn't have sex at the dorm...that it was way too risky?! But a few hot kisses and touches from his boyfriends, and he'd even nearly forgotten his own name, let alone that he needed to contain his moans and keep as quiet as possible!

 

In the heat of the moment...beneath the scorching heat of Taekwoon's teasing tongue and Hongbin's torturous mouth, he'd completely lost his mind...and any sense of decorum. It was of little surprise why all three members were missing. How could he not have thought about how obvious...how loud...they'd been. Everyone in the dorm must have heard them. He'd been so out of it that he hadn't even realized it until now...until the horrified expression on Hongbin's face as the truth had dawned on him had made Hakyeon understand what must have happened. And judging from the look on Taekwoon's face, the penny had dropped for him as well.

 

          "Yaedeul-a...Guys...we fucked up really bad," Hakyeon said, the ugly truth of his words lingering in the silence between them as they all inevitably wondered how on earth they were going to get out of the mess for which they had no one to blame but themselves.

       


	42. Confession

Wonsik remained just as silent as Jaehwan and Hyuk as the three of them stared in utter disbelief at Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin, who were wringing their hands nervously and hanging their heads in shame. Immediately, one thing was very clear to Wonsik - and he imagined to the other two as well - the loud little trio seemed to have become all too aware of the reason the other three members had left the dorm and hadn't returned.

 

            _Shit, this is about to become fucking awkward,_ Wonsik thought, already dreading the next couple of hours spent together during dance practice.

 

          "So...err...let's start practice then...," Jaehwan suddenly shattered the pregnant silence, once again the first one to talk, obviously trying to lighten the mood a bit - though, of course, he just _had_ to step in it with his very next words, "...that's...if you can...still _move_ at all...after last night."

 

The room fell silent again for a split second before everyone - including the 'hanging-head-trio' - suddenly exploded with nervous laughter at Jaehwan's highly inappropriate and completely typical comment. After calming down again, they finally started their dance routine, going about business while pretending that nothing had happened. And though there were still awkward moments here and there, they'd mostly gone back to treating each other as they always did.

 

But by the time practice was over, they'd all finished showering, and had gathered around the dorm's dinner table, the atmosphere between them became tense once more. Things that needed to be said...that needed to be explained...simply hadn't been brought out into the open yet. Even though it was typical of them to not openly talk about their problems or their feelings with each other - it was just one of those things VIXX didn't really do very well - what had been going on between Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin, or more precisely, what would continue to go on between them was not something they could just ignore. Wonsik was certain the others were just as aware of this as he was.

 

There were things that affected them as a group...things that needed to be talked about no matter what. And the relationship between the three was definitely one of them. But then, so was the fact that Jaehwan and he had become an item as well. Only, Wonsik had absolutely no idea how to even tell the others about them, particularly since he wasn't sure how Jaehwan would feel about coming clean.

 

          "So...," Hyuk started off the conversation at long last after Taekwoon had finally stopped chewing on the umpteenth piece of meat the little 'hamster' had stuffed into his already full mouth, "...shouldn't we...talk about it?"

 

Though none of the three addressed actually replied with words, Wonsik could clearly see a nonchalant 'What's-there-to-talk-about?' look on Taekwoon's face and a judgy 'Why-the-hell-would-you-actually-want-to-talk-about-this-are-you-crazy?' expression on Hongbin, while Hakyeon was going more for a 'Please-don't-ask-I-already-feel-bad-enough' countenance.

 

          "Okay...," Jaehwan finally said after it had become clear that none of them would actually open their mouth, "...I'll fess up first then."

 

Wonsik's head spun to the side to look at his boyfriend, who was sitting right next to him. The gaze Jaehwan returned was filled with confidence while at the same time clearly seeking his permission. Wonsik took one good look at the tenderness and reassurance in his boyfriend's eyes and silently nodded.

 

After sitting back and taking a deep breath, he waited for Jaehwan to drop the bomb, suddenly feeling like a hundred thousand ants were crawling around in his stomach. Because although he knew it was the best thing to be honest, especially since they now knew they weren't the only ones to have kept such a huge secret, he was still nervous as hell. While the trio waited for Jaehwan to continue, Wonsik noticed that their faces seemed merely curious and completely unsuspecting of what was to hit them. He sincerely doubted any of them had a clue about their relationship, probably thinking they were the only ones involved among the group.

 

When Jaehwan remained silent for a long moment even after Wonsik had nodded his agreement, Wonsik turned toward him to see if he'd perhaps lost his nerve to confess, after all, and was immediately met with his hyung's soft yet equally demanding lips as Jaehwan kissed him none too innocently in front of everyone at the table.

 

The several loud gasps that followed were the best proof that everyone present - except Hyuk, of course - had been utterly surprised and shocked by the completely unexpected turn of events. It seemed Wonsik had been right: None of them had even remotely seen this coming.

 

          "Wha...?" the unfinished question left Hakyeon's mouth, which hung open so long afterward that Wonsik nearly found himself laughing at the dumbfounded expression on his hyung's face.

 

And though the other two looked just as thunderstruck, their mouths remained tightly shut - which, in Taekwoon's case, really wasn't anything new.

 

          "Wha-what about you?" Hakyeon finally managed, addressing neither Wonsik nor Jaehwan, but the maknae instead, "Do you have something to come clean about, too?"

 

          "No thanks, I'm good," Hyuk replied a bit too quickly, making Wonsik immediately suspect that the maknae was hiding something as well, "Why would you ask _me_ , though?"

 

          "Because it suddenly looks like everyone in our group is being intimate with a fellow member...and I...just...I can't believe this," Hakyeon finished in a quiet voice, suddenly looking rather pale and uncomfortable.

 

          "Well, you're one to talk...," Wonsik replied, feeling the need to defend his own relationship since it seemed Jaehwan's confession had abruptly triggered Hakyeon's overly concerned mother mode towards the group as a whole. "Don't even get me started on your _completely normal_  and _oh so not_ _creepy_ threesome," Wonsik continued ironically.

 

          "You're right...I know I'm one to talk...I'm sorry...I didn't mean...," Hakyeon went on after a short while, "...I wasn't trying to belittle your...relationship...It just suddenly hit me that...that...we're all in much deeper with each other than we should be...our whole group...except for Hyukkie...and I...I just hope that this won't end up...hurting us...or breaking us apart...I hope we can all do well and...not break up..."

 

Listening to Hakyeon's words, Wonsik's anger suddenly went up in smoke. He knew what their leader-nim was trying to say even if he wasn't the most qualified to bring up the issue, seeing as he was one of the very members sexually involved with others of the group. Still, it wasn't something Wonsik had never thought about. He'd asked himself more than once what would happen to VIXX as a group if his and Jaehwan's relationship failed and they separated in anger and possibly even ended up hating each other after breaking up. It wasn't very likely, but it was a possible scenario, after all. So Hakyeon's sudden apprehension of yet another relationship within the group that could go wrong besides his own was understandable even if their leader-nim had absolutely no right to point this out under the circumstances.

 

          "We'll just have to make this work...," Jaehwan said, his soft yet firm voice carrying the same kind of confidence Wonsik had seen in his eyes earlier, "And if we fail, we'll work things out...all of us...together."

 

The kitchen was silent again, everyone taking in Jaehwan's words and the meaning behind them: They would work things out...no matter what became of the intimate relationships they'd started...no matter whether they stayed together or ended up falling apart as lovers. They would get through everything that followed, whether good or bad, and come out standing strong and proud at the end...as one group...as one team. They would keep going even if they stopped being intimate with each other.

 

          Because first and foremost, they were family. And family is forever.

 


	43. Mirror Image

Jaehwan carefully approached the hotel room. After gazing around to make sure there was no one else in the corridor, he quickly rapped on the door and waited for Wonsik to let him in. After the VIXX members had openly talked about their relationships, they'd come to the conclusion that they could make things work as long as they established some ground rules. One of which was that they would not have sex at the dorm as long as other members were around.

 

Which was why Jaehwan found himself meeting his boyfriend in an out of the way hotel none of their acquaintances would come to. Not that it was run down or dirty, it just wasn't a place anyone of consequence tended to stay at. Which made it perfect for what the two of them had in mind. It had been a long time now that Jaehwan and Wonsik had been able to be intimate, so Jaehwan's stomach was in knots when the door opened to reveal a Wonsik clad only in a skimpy towel, his still slightly wet skin from the shower he'd just taken glistening invitingly as he stood in front of the door with a naughty glint in his eyes.

 

Jaehwan gulped quietly as he hurried past him, by no means unaffected by Wonsik's almost completely naked body even if they'd already been intimate. In fact, the sight of Wonsik's incredible body was something Jaehwan felt he would never really get used to, no matter how often he saw him naked, his heart always starting to race uncontrollably.

 

          "You're nervous?" Wonsik abruptly asked once he'd closed the door and turned around to face him, amusement evident in his voice.

 

The perfectly witty comeback on the tip of Jaehwan's tongue died a split second after he'd thought it up, his mind going completely blank the very moment that amused smile vanished from Wonsik's face to be replaced by a serious, intense expression and a pointed look full of unhidden desire as he slowly advanced on him, his movements smooth like flowing water yet powerful at the same time as the muscles in his body rippled with every step.

 

          "You've been working out!" Jaehwan blurted out, the nonsensical words spilling from his nervous tongue before he could hold them back.

 

_What a stupid thing to say,_ Jaehwan immediately berated himself, feeling like a lovestruck teenager and far from the confident idol he was supposed to be.

 

What he'd meant to say was simply that it looked like Wonsik had just done push-ups to make his abs stand out even more before Jaehwan had arrived. He hadn't meant to come across as an imbecile who spouted lame pick-up-lines, especially since they'd already been intimate and had been close even before they'd started dating. So, he should be standing in front of him with the kind of confidence that came from knowing what they meant to each other. And if their last sexual encounter was any indication - the night they'd cried in each other's arms after having been intimate - then Jaehwan was supposed to be able to face him with utter confidence in his own powers of seduction. But here he was, quaking in his boots as his incredibly hot and way too scantily clothed boyfriend approached him. 

 

Jaehwan quickly held his hands up in front of his face, trying to hide his growing embarrassment at the realization that Wonsik must now be fully aware of just how totally whipped Jaehwan really was.

 

          "Why are you trying to hide?" Wonsik's gentle voice broke through the chaotic thoughts in Jaehwan's head, his equally gentle fingers starting to pull Jaehwan's hands away to uncover his face.

 

          "Who's hiding? I'm not hiding," Jaehwan stubbornly insisted even as he tried to keep Wonsik from pulling his hands away, a battle he lost in the end.

 

          "So _this_ is you not hiding?" Wonsik said, a wide grin lighting up his face, "I can't believe how cute you are!"

 

Before Jaehwan could scold him for making fun of his insecurities, Wonsik pulled him tightly against his own body and kissed him passionately. When he finally released him and backed away a bit, evidently needing a moment to catch his breath, Jaehwan noticed that his boyfriend was actually trembling.

 

          "Waegrae? What's wrong?" Jaehwan immediately asked in concern, thinking Wonsik must be feeling ill.

 

          "N-nothing, I just...," Wonsik started but suddenly fell silent, as though what he'd been about to say wasn't something that came to him easily.

 

          "Talk to me...please...what's wrong...you're not feeling well?" Jaehwan asked after approaching him and gently placing the back of his hand against Wonsik's forehead to see if he might be running a fever.

 

But instead of letting him check his temperature, Wonsik abruptly grabbed his wrist and gently pulled his hand off of his forehead.

 

          "I'm not sick...," Wonsik said, his voice low and soft...yet trembling just as much as his body was.

 

          "Then why are you shaking?" Jaehwan asked, momentarily stumped by Wonsik's behavior.

 

          "Because...because...being with you...makes me...feel nervous...too," Wonsik finally admitted, making Jaehwan's jaw drop, "...because I'm...so crazy about you...and...and you get me so excited...that I can't think straight...so...you don't need to...feel embarrassed...because I'm just as much...into you."

 

Jaehwan didn't quite know how to react to the confession that had just left Wonsik's mouth and the obvious blush now creeping into his cheeks. Here he was, wanting to hide because he felt embarrassed about how blatantly and deeply Wonsik's existence kept shaking his world...when in reality there was no need to hide...because Wonsik felt the same way.

 

And though he couldn't really understand the power he seemed to have over Wonsik, Jaehwan's hands gradually stopped shaking as he slowly accepted the fact that they drove each other equally crazy and that the excitement they felt for one another was nothing to feel embarrassed about...even if their bodies trembled like crazy, their voices shook, or their knees gave out from under them.

 

Because it didn't mean that they were weak...or lost.

It meant that they'd been found...by each other.

That they could be themselves.

Show every little part.

Every insecurity.

 

Empowered by the fact that he was able to make this usually so confident and sexy as fuck man tremble just as easily, Jaehwan's behavior became bolder. For once feeling like the hyung he actually was, he found himself gently pushing Wonsik backward and up against the wall, not even caring that he was smaller or of slighter build.

 

          "I never should have said that you're cute...I take it back...it's obviously a ruse," Wonsik whispered a few minutes later, sounding completely out of breath after Jaehwan had grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him so passionately that he'd rendered him completely breathless.

 

          "Oh, come on...you've been telling me that I'm cute for so long that you're probably solely responsible for starting the whole Raken or Kenvi or whatever our ship name is," Jaehwan teased him, unable to resist.

 

          "Just imagine if our fans could see us now...I wonder what they'd say," Wonsik mused, a naughty little smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he apparently imagined the said scenario.

 

          "They'd probably scream excitedly when we kiss...," Jaehwan replied and emphasized his words with a sensual kiss, "...but they'd look away in embarrassment the very next moment," he continued, tugging on and removing the small towel covering Wonsik's manhood before naughtily running his hand up and down his boyfriend's growing erection.

 

          "I don't know...," Wonsik said, his breath hitching every time Jaehwan intensified his stroke, "...they might...actually...want to...watch."

 

          "Then let's pretend they're watching," Jaehwan said, going down onto his knees right in front of Wonsik and taking the tip of his cock into his mouth.

 

          "Aah...," a soft moan escaped Wonsik's throat, the delightful sound encouraging Jaehwan to intensify his actions, making him lick and suck his cock as though it were a lollipop.

 

Wonsik's moans became more desperate and his knees started to buckle long before Jaehwan was done with him. By the time he finally let up and moved toward the bed while undressing himself at the same time, Wonsik followed him on utterly shaky legs. After the two of them had settled down on the bed, Wonsik was about to roll him onto his back and bend over him as they kissed.

 

          "Wait...," Jaehwan said, successfully keeping his boyfriend from pushing him down onto the mattress. "...I want to...sit...on you," Jaehwan continued a bit awkwardly, not exactly knowing how to say what he wanted...saying he wanted to 'ride' him sounded a bit weird in his opinion.

 

Wonsik merely smiled knowingly and threw himself on his back, giving Jaehwan a challenging look as he waited for him to take the reins.

 

          "Go right ahead, baby," he said while provocatively winking up at him.

 

          "You're loving this way too much...," Jaehwan said, "...You'd better not think you don't have to move a muscle."

 

          "Aww...," Wonsik replied in mock disappointment, "...but I thought I could just sit back and relax a bit...and let _you_ do all the work this time."

 

          "You can relax when you're in the ground...right now, I need you to fuck me," Jaehwan said, surprising Wonsik and himself with the dirty words falling from his mouth.

 

          "You know, if I'd known before that you could be like this...I wouldn't have hesitated for so long...You know you make me crazy, right?" Wonsik said, abruptly grabbing him around the waist, lifting him up, and letting him slide down onto his erection as if he suddenly couldn't bear to wait another minute.

 

Both of them sighed deeply as Jaehwan's bottom slid all the way down onto Wonsik's long, thick, and incredibly hard cock, burying it inside of him as deeply as possible.

 

          "Oh my God, you feel so fucking good...I can't...," Wonsik mumbled around a mouth full of Jaehwan's tongue...

 

As their hungry mouths once again devoured each other...

As their lower bodies started to move...

As they pulled away and connected again...

Fucking at different angles...

Burying Wonsik's cock over and over and over again...

Pushing in deeper...

...and harder...

...their hands clawing at each other's sweat-covered backs...

...their nails slightly digging into one another's flesh...

 

At one point, Wonsik seemed unable to contain himself any longer, utterly surprising Jaehwan when he suddenly turned both of them around until Jaehwan was on his back underneath him with his legs resting high on Wonsik's shoulders as the latter repeatedly hammered into him, making Jaehwan moan at fullest volume when he repeatedly slammed against his prostate.

 

After several minutes of this, Jaehwan simply couldn't hold on anymore, his back arching, his toes curling, and his loud moans catching in his overstretched throat as he threw his head back and spilled onto himself. After following him shortly after and filling him with his warm come, Wonsik let his body rest on top of him and leisurely started sucking on an all too visible spot on Jaehwan's neck.

 

          "Wait...what are you doing?" Jaehwan started to complain while trying to move his neck away from Wonsik's unsatiable mouth, "...you can't give me a hickey there...everyone will see."

 

          "That's the plan...I _want_ everyone to see," Wonsik simply replied before going right back to sucking on his skin with everything he had while securely keeping Jaehwan in place.

 

           "Why?" Jaehwan demanded, making Wonsik pause and look deeply into his eyes for a long moment before he spoke.

 

          "Because you're mine."

 


	44. Nothing's Wrong

Hyuk sat at the breakfast table completely lost in thoughts and listlessly picking at his food with carelessly deployed chopsticks, making most of the noodles slide right off and back onto the plate again.

 

          "Is something wrong?" Hakyeon suddenly asked from beside him, utterly surprising him, as he hadn't even realized anyone else had entered the kitchen, let alone sat down next to him.

 

Not really knowing how to answer this because: YES, GOD DAMN IT, _EVERYTHING_ WAS WRONG! but he couldn't really confide any of the things that had been going on with him to Hakyeon, Hyuk just continued to stare at his food while shaking his head in reply.

 

Quite obviously, his blatant lie had zero effect on making Hakyeon back off, his hyung simply continuing to stare at him in silence while waiting for a better reply. Hyuk could feel the temperature in the room slowly rise; he was growing more and more uncomfortable in the spotlight his leader-nim was bathing - or rather _drowning_ \- him in. And though he was a bit annoyed at Hakyeon's persistent stare, he couldn't really blame his hyung for trying to get him to talk, because a) it was already in Hakyeon's blood to be nosy as hell, and b) it had become second nature to him to always look out for the well-being of his 'kids'.

 

          "No...nothing's wrong," Hyuk finally verbally replied to Hakyeon's silent, questioning stare, knowing full well that he would have to tell him and the others about Jin sooner or later.

 

But the problem with that was: he didn't even know _what_ he should tell them. What the hell were the two of them even to each other? Hyuk didn't have the slightest idea. Because other than having Jin lying on top of him in the dark, kissing him, and making him go crazy and horny as fuck, nothing had happened...nothing had been talked about...nothing had been made clear.

 

So, here he was, two whole days and sleepless nights later, wondering what Jin's whispered promise had even meant, the torturous words 'Let's continue this another time' continuously floating around his mind and haunting his every waking thought. Had it even been a _promise_? And if so, what exactly had he promised...that they would start dating...or that they would merely continue what they'd started that night and end it all after a one night stand?

 

But more important than not understanding what Jin's words had implied was the fact that Hyuk didn't even know what he wanted those words to mean. Was he ready for a relationship? Could they even have a relationship with each of their groups being so busy, not leaving them with enough time to see each other except perhaps on their days off? And did he even want a relationship with him...or was what he was feeling only physical? After all, what did he really know about him other than that he was Jaehwan's friend and perhaps a few things he'd picked up from the media (if those were even true).

 

Yet in order to get answers to the thousand questions floating around in his mind, he first needed to meet him again. And seeing as Jin had said they'd continue this later, Hyuk had simply assumed _he'd_ be the one to contact him and had waited and waited. But the two days already seemed like far too long a wait in his tormented state of mind.

 

_How could he just kiss me like **that** and then not contact me for two whole days?!_ Hyuk thought, shaking his head in annoyance - completely forgetting that Hakyeon was still watching him closely.

 

          "Yes, Hyukkie, I can _see_ how there's nothing at all wrong," Hakyeon commented sarcastically before continuing in a softer approach, "Can't you just give me a hint and...and let me help you?"

 

Hyuk reached for Hakyeon's hand and gave it a little squeeze in appreciation of his efforts but shook his head nevertheless. He simply wasn't ready to tell him about Jin...to talk about what they might or might not have between them.

 

          "Pleeeeaaaasssee," Hakyeon tried his 'I'm-asking-you-so-cutely-you-just-have-to-agree' approach and topped it off with a 'How-can-you-possibly-resist-this-cute-face' expression, making Hyuk laugh out loud despite his depression.

 

          "Sorry...," Hyuk said while emphatically shaking his head again and smiling regretfully, "...I really can't talk to you about this...not yet. I know you mean well...but I just...I need time."

 

          "Okay...," Hakyeon finally gave in after a long pause, "...but I need you to know that...whatever it is...I won't judge you...Saranghae, naui dongsaeng."

 

          "Nado," Hyuk returned his affections after a slight moment of hesitation; the words 'I love you' didn't tend to roll off his tongue easily, whereas Hakyeon told the members that he loved them all the time...at any time.

 

And right at this moment, Hyuk really appreciated hearing those words...and he really appreciated his hyung - though he wasn't comfortable in telling him this. After giving him a short, but very warm hug, Hakyeon got up from the table and left the kitchen, leaving Hyuk alone again with his cold noodles and his confusing thoughts.

 

 

Several hours, a strenuous dance practice, and a comforting shower later, Hyuk plumped his exhausted body down next to Jaehwan in the latter's room, watching the characters rush across the screen as his hyung played with his gaming crew - consisting of Jaehwan, Jin, B.A.P.'s Youngjae, and BTOB's Eunkwang - while jumping up and down on his seat and cursing loudly.

 

          "I thought you were the 'Strongest Idols'...Looks like you're losing, though," Hyuk commented, getting ready for Jaehwan's backlash - which didn't come because he was much too invested in the game to hear Hyuk's words or even notice his presence.

 

When his crew abruptly lost the game - just as Hyuk had pointed out was going to happen - Jaehwan finally acknowledged his presence, talking to him while at the same time responding to some comments in the game's group chat.

 

          "Wonder what's up with Jin tonight," Jaehwan pointed out as his fingers moved across the keyboard.

 

          "Why?" The incredibly difficult word finally made it past Hyuk's lips as his heart beat frantically against his chest; as much as he longed to know...he also _didn't_ want to know.

 

          "He keeps wanting to come by and stay overnight...which he hasn't ever suggested doing before...And his playing sucked all evening...like he's totally distracted."

 

          "He wants to come over?...Tonight?" Hyuk mumbled, once again lost in thoughts and utterly unaware of the strange look Jaehwan was giving him until he lifted his face and met his hyung's gaze.

 

          "What?!" Hyuk demanded, avoiding Jaehwan's eyes and feeling his face turn as red as an overripe tomato.

 

          "Is there...something...going on with you?" Jaehwan abruptly asked him.

 

          "Nooo!" Hyuk denied much too vehemently before he could stop himself. "What could possibly be going on between us?" he replied in a somewhat lighter tone accompanied by slightly nervous laughter - oh so not obvious!

 

          "'Going on between _us_ '? Who's _us_? I asked if there was something going on with _you_...What do you mean... _us_?...Why would you...Jin?...You're not talking about Jin, are you?...Why is there an _us_ with you and Jin?" Jaehwan burst out so suddenly and in such a way that his words abruptly had Hyuk's stomach doing rollercoasters.

 

Not knowing how to even start to respond to Jaehwan's question - the obvious suspicion and alarm in his hyung's eyes jumping out at Hyuk, begging him to deny what his words implied - Hyuk simply sat in silence, staring into Jaehwan's eyes as his own slowly filled with fearful and regretful tears. 


	45. The Truth

Jaehwan couldn't believe his eyes: Hyukkie was actually crying? The maknae rarely cried anymore. In fact, he'd grown up so much over the past years and seemed so much more mature than some of the other members that Jaehwan often forgot he was the maknae. And though he _did_ cry at concerts occasionally, it was only ever because he felt touched. But looking at him now, it was a completely different deal. He was obviously feeling down and distraught.

 

But why? Because he'd asked him about Jin? How could this possibly be about Jin...about Jaehwan's best friend? What did the two of them even have to do with one another? They didn't even know each other or spend any time with one another. Had they perhaps gotten into a fight when Jin had come over the other day? But...why would they?

 

Jaehwan felt confused...the strangest thought suddenly coming to him. A thought he couldn't even believe he'd just had. Abruptly, a picture of the two of them holding each other popped into his head...he couldn't even say why. But perhaps something about the way Hyuk's eyes had looked when he'd mentioned Jin might have to do with the sudden suspicion that wouldn't let go of him anymore...even though it couldn't possibly be true!

 

Abruptly, Jaehwan felt nauseous...and afraid. Because, what if it _was_ true? What if Hyuk and Jin actually had something going on? And what would that mean for Jaehwan and Jin's close friendship? He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way...he shouldn't be selfish, jealous, and reluctant to share his best friend with someone else. But he just couldn't help it...though he also couldn't understand how these two could even have gotten close.

 

Thinking he must be mistaken, after all, that his suspicion was completely ridiculous, he was just about to ask Hyuk what was wrong - looking for another explanation to why the maknae was suddenly behaving in such a strange way - when the latter finally spoke.

 

          "I'm sorry," Hyuk suddenly burst out as tears now rolled freely down his cheeks, the two words he'd spoken chilling Jaehwan to the core.

 

There would be no reason for Hyuk to apologize like this unless Jaehwan's suspicions were correct. Because although it might be hard to understand for outsiders, it was clear as day to both of them that starting something with Jaehwan's best friend should be off-limits. Jin was one of the very few friends Jaehwan had outside their group. And while his fellow members were family, like real brothers to him, he desperately needed someone other than his members, someone he could go to when he wanted to get away from everything concerning VIXX for a while.

 

Though such moments were pretty rare, seeing as they all got on well with one another, there were nevertheless times when he needed to escape. And those were the times when he ran to Jin for comfort. Now his 'comfort' was about to become deeply involved with one of his members, the strict boundaries between VIXX and his haven outside the group about to crumble.

 

          "Surely you're...you're not saying that...that...the two of you are...involved?" Jaehwan finally asked, knowing that Hyuk wasn't one to lie when confronted directly.

 

And though he was afraid of the answer, he desperately needed to know the truth, no matter how hard it hit him.

 

          "I...I don't know," Hyuk answered in a small voice before sighing deeply and hanging his head in regret.

 

          "You don't know?...What does that mean?" Jaehwan dug deeper.

 

          "We...he...I thought...he'd call me...or...something...but I haven't...heard from him," Hyuk sputtered, making little to no sense to Jaehwan.

 

          "Jamkkanman...wait...so _did_ or _didn't_ something happen between you?" Jaehwan asked, careful to keep his voice neutral and calm so that the maknae wouldn't shy away from telling him the whole story.

 

          "I don't know how it happened...exactly...but I...I kissed him..."

 

          "You _kissed_ him?" Jaehwan asked, still surprised even though he'd suspected that something monumental must have happened between them.

 

          "Then he hit me..."

 

          "He _hit_ you?" he managed to ask, even though he actually felt speechless.

 

Hyuk silently nodded before continuing.

 

          "Then _he_ kissed _me_..."

 

          "He kissed you back?" Jaehwan asked incredulously; why had he kissed him when he'd hit him before?

 

Hyuk nodded again.

 

          "Then what?" he pried further.

 

          "I haven't seen him since," Hyuk replied after sniffing loudly.

 

          "That's it? That's your story?...You haven't seen him since?" Jaehwan replied, abruptly feeling disappointed for some unfathomable reason.

 

Although, now that he thought about it, he realized he might know why he felt that way, after all. Ever since Hyuk had started to tell him more about it - although what he'd told him was still really vague and seriously lacking in details - Jaehwan couldn't help but feel a bit sad for Hyuk, who was very obviously completely down after not having heard from Jin. And now that the initial shock had somewhat worn off and he'd realized that Hyuk seemed to have actual feelings for his friend, he felt Hyuk's disappointment right along with him. Especially since what Jin felt appeared to be a mystery to both him and Hyuk, making things even harder for the maknae.

 

          "Does it...does it have to be... _him_?" Jaehwan heard himself ask, nonetheless, even though he hadn't meant those words to ever leave his mouth.

 

Undoubtedly, both of them knew that Jin was more than special to Jaehwan and that it might be a bad idea and make everything a hundred thousand times more complicated for everyone involved if the maknae and Jin ended up being intimate with each other. Still, he hadn't meant to come right out and say something like that to Hyuk, who already looked so sad.

 

At Jaehwan's words, more tears suddenly spilled from Hyuk's eyes, making Jaehwan instantly regret that he hadn't been able to keep his big mouth shut for once.

 

         "I'm sorry...I didn't mean...I shouldn't have...," Jaehwan tried to explain.

 

          "I'm sorry, too...," Hyuk interrupted him, his eyes both pleading and filled with a determination that held Jaehwan spellbound as he waited to hear what the maknae would say, "I'm really sorry...I know he's your best friend...and I shouldn't...in a sense...take him away from you...But I just can't...can't seem to stop...thinking about him...And I just...I feel so alone...sometimes...especially since...since you all have found someone...Hyung...I don't want to feel alone anymore..."

 

Jaehwan felt tears of his own slowly slide down his face as he sat and listened to the maknae, feeling incredibly foolish, incredibly selfish, incredibly guilty for ever having wanted to keep Jin away from Hyuk when it was more than obvious how badly the maknae was longing to see him again. Whether what the two of them had was real or would turn out to be nothing more than a one night stand, Jaehwan simply couldn't bear to see his dongsaeng like this any longer.

 

After quickly wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hand, Jaehwan snatched the keyboard and started typing, filling the game's group chat with his most heartfelt request.

 

      _Jin-ah, come on over and spend the night._

 


	46. Fiery

Jin's palms were sweating like crazy as he stood in front of the entrance to VIXX's dormitory waiting for someone to open the door. As the seconds ticked by without anyone letting him in, even though it had been quite a while since he'd rung the bell, he turned more and more restless and started pacing from one end of the corridor to the other while nervously running a hand through his hair.

 

Wondering when the hell he'd started being like this - because this was definitely a side of him he'd never known before - he finally managed to stop pacing and went back to stand in front of the door and next to the travel bag he'd set down earlier. And though his stomach wouldn't stop fluttering, he at least felt a bit relieved that he'd been able to stop himself from pacing nervously before he actually gave away the fact that he'd been going absolutely crazy ever since a few days ago when he'd had to let Hyuk go without talking about what had happened between them.

 

Because ever since then, Jin had been out of his mind, continuously replaying the few yet incredibly hot moments they'd shared while longing for him so badly that he hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else, all the while not knowing what was going to happen or if they were even going to see each other again - because although Jin had said they'd continue at a later time, Hyuk hadn't once contacted him. And though he _really, really_ hadn't wanted to show his desperation by shamelessly inviting himself over to spend the night in Jaehwan's room, he hadn't seen any other way to be near Hyuk. And he desperately needed to find out what was on the other's mind.

 

          "Hey...," Jaehwan greeted him as soon as he opened the door, "...come on in. Sorry, it took me a while to open the door...I was a bit...busy."

 

          "No worries," Jin replied, quickly picking up his bag and pushing past Jaehwan into the otherwise empty hallway, which immediately made him feel a pang of disappointment; somehow, he'd just assumed Hyuk would be standing there, ready to greet him - though he had to admit: that notion was completely absurd.

 

          "So...where is...everyone?" Jin asked in what he hoped would come across as casual interest, though his heart was beating frantically as he waited for Jaehwan's reply; suddenly he dreaded his friend's answer, afraid that after everything he'd gone through trying to get an invite, Hyuk wouldn't even be home.

 

          "Oh...they're busy," Jaehwan answered, suddenly crushing all of his hopes with just a few words.

 

Jin could actually feel his face fall and quickly turned away from his friend, hoping he'd been fast enough to hide his disappointment until he managed to get his composure back.

 

          "Let's go straight to my room then," Jaehwan said, leading the way down the corridor.

 

Jin simply followed, his mind solely occupied with thoughts of what to do, now that his plan had failed. He was so deeply lost in his musings, in fact, that he almost ran straight into Jaehwan's back when the latter suddenly stopped in front of his door instead of opening it and heading inside.

 

          "What's wrong? Why aren't you going in?" Jin asked, a bit taken aback by his friend's odd behavior.

 

He'd visited plenty of times before, and not once had Jaehwan hesitated entering his room first, though it would have been more courteous to let his guest go ahead of him. But it had never been an issue between them because Jin had never minded and therefore never brought it up.

 

          "You should go ahead...," Jaehwan said in an oddly quiet voice, his tone a bit sad, as he turned around and gave him a pointed look which Jin simply didn't know how to interpret; though there was definitely something deeper hidden in that gaze, he was at a complete loss as to what was going on behind those slightly sad eyes.

 

          "What's the matter? It seems like something's going on with you...but I just...I don't get it...So just tell me, what's wrong?" Jin asked, his apprehension slowly rising with every second of Jaehwan's silence.

 

          "You'll see...when you open the door," Jaehwan finally said, giving his arm a supportive squeeze while managing a small smile.

 

Without waiting for a reply or another question, Jaehwan abruptly turned on his heels and walked away, leaving an utterly bewildered Jin in front of the door to his friend's room. And while he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to find in Jaehwan's empty room - he couldn't even imagine what this was about - he soon found the overly loud drumming of his heartbeat drown out any other sound and thought as he slowly pushed down the handle and opened the door.

 

          "Hey," a casual and somewhat guarded voice coolly greeted him.

 

When Jin's eyes finally focused on the source of said voice, he could practically feel all the color leave his face. At the same time, his heart skipped several beats. For, although he'd come with the intention of meeting VIXX's maknae and finally figuring out what was or wasn't between them, he'd already fully resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to see him. Which was why running straight into him without having been prepared was seriously messing with his equilibrium - or, to put it bluntly: he felt fucking messed up!

 

Before he could make an utter spectacle of himself and let on just how completely shook he felt at abruptly meeting the younger idol, Jin used every ounce of self-control he could possibly dredge up and managed to pull himself together and appear calm and unperturbed.

 

          "Hey...," he replied just as nonchalantly as he quickly hid his trembling hands in the pockets of his jeans before stepping further into the room and setting his bag down next to Jaehwan's bed, "...What's up?"

 

Busy with immediately rummaging through his bag in order to find more comfortable clothes to wear - though, in reality, he did it as a means of distraction - Jin only noticed the scowl on Hyuk's face after the latter grabbed his arm and spun him around to face him.

 

          "'What's up?'...Are you kidding me?" Hyuk said, an expression of incredulity replacing the scowl.

 

Jin simply remained silent, not really knowing what was happening, though he had the sneaking suspicion that Hyuk had just been set off by his words; he supposed he _had_  overdone it a bit with the whole overly nonchalant 'What's up?' at the end when they both knew that the phrase was highly inappropriate under the current circumstances. 'What's up?' was definitely not something to say when meeting again for the first time after sharing steamy kisses and naughty touches.

 

          "You...you have the nerve to...to kiss me...like that...and not call me even once...and the first words out of your mouth apart from 'hey' as soon as you see me is 'What's up?...Is that it?...Is that why you wanted to stay over?...So that you could rub it in my face?" Hyuk said, his voice sounding angrier and more hurt with every word that came out of his mouth.

 

Jin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Hyuk seemed to be accusing him of leading him on when all the while Jin had been feeling the same way - hurt, betrayed, and desperate because the maknae hadn't contacted him. A relieved and somewhat amused smile finally tugged at the corners of Jin's lips as he realized how stupidly both of them had hoped and waited for the other to make the first move while thinking they'd been played.

 

          "You think it's funny?" Hyuk suddenly surprised him by grabbing his shoulders and standing him up against the wall at his back.

 

          "I think it's hilarious," Jin answered and grinned, utterly amused at both of their stupidity and completely ignoring the determined and fiery look in Hyuk's eyes, though he should have been more careful; but he simply couldn't help it.

 

And it seemed neither could Hyuk...

...his strong body suddenly pushing up against Jin's and his mouth crushing his lips - his kiss carrying the hot, singeing taste of his desperation as his tongue slid inside and ravished Jin's mouth along with his whole being.

 


	47. Natural Talent

Hyuk couldn't really explain what had suddenly gotten into him; all he knew was: one moment he'd felt beyond nervous about seeing Jin again and the next it was as though he'd been set on fire, feeling the overwhelming need to kiss him just as fiercely as Jin had kissed him the last time they'd seen each other. And though it wasn't supposed to be a competition, Hyuk just couldn't help but feel that he needed to make the older idol feel just as overwhelmed and shaken as Jin had made him feel when he'd suddenly started kissing him in his room the other night.

 

Triumphant at first, because he could clearly feel Jin's body trembling as he pinned him to the wall and kissed the crap out of him, Hyuk's gratification all too soon turned to surprise and shock as his hoobae suddenly turned the tables on him, his hands gripping Hyuk's waist and neck and pulling him even closer as he kissed him back just as intensely...until Hyuk's knees started shaking like crazy.

 

After several minutes of furious kissing, both of them continuously fighting to get the upper hand, they finally pulled back out of the kiss without moving away from each other, their trembling bodies leaning on each other for support as they panted heavily, completely out of breath.

 

          "Can't we...just...both...admit...that we're...equally...crazy...about...each other?" Jin abruptly whispered in Hyuk's ear, his soft lips gently tickling Hyuk's skin and making him shiver, "Let's...stop...fighting...like this."

 

Perhaps it was because Jin was several years older, or perhaps he just tended to be more straightforward than Hyuk. For whatever reason, he'd been bold enough to come out and say it...brave enough to be the first to openly admit how much Hyuk had gotten under his skin. And though being open about his feelings was something Hyuk had never really been good at, he felt he owed Jin the same kind of honesty.

 

          "You're right...Since you already know...that I'm...crazy...about you...and I know you feel the same way...we should both...cool down a bit."

 

          "By 'cool down' you don't mean you're going to wriggle your way out of sleeping with me, right?...Because that would be too cruel after making me wait for so long," Jin abruptly said, making Hyuk almost choke on his own spit; he'd never expected to hear those words come out of Jin's mouth.

 

Remembering Jin's initial reluctance and the slap in his face he'd received for merely kissing him that very first time, Hyuk couldn't believe how fast Jin was moving now. And though he'd been fantasizing about being with him ever since the night Jin had literally knocked the wind right out of him before kissing him senseless, Hyuk had never actually thought about having sex with him so early on in their relationship. If _that_ was even what they had. Because as yet, neither of them had openly stated whether they had started dating or if this was supposed to be nothing but a one-time thing.

 

          "You're not actually thinking you can get away from me right now, do you?" Jin said in a low, utterly seductive and completely serious tone of voice while the palm of his hand suggestively ran up and down Hyuk's chest, teasing his sensitive nipples through the thin fabric of his clothing.

 

Hyuk was at a loss for words, not knowing how to respond to Jin's unabashed straightforwardness and the overflowing self-confidence he was showing when talking about something Hyuk had never done before and wasn't sure he was even ready for yet. Since he was still a virgin, he didn't know the first thing about pleasing a partner, let alone another man, which suddenly made him feel very self-conscious about his lack of sexual experience.

 

          "N-no...but I...haven't...yet...err...I've...never...," Hyuk stuttered nervously, hating that he couldn't hide his insecurity but really having no other option than to tell him the truth since he would inevitably notice Hyuk's inexperience once they started being intimate.

 

Hyuk could feel his cheeks heat up as Jin simply stared at him openmouthed, clearly shocked at his confession.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

To say Jin was surprised would have been a serious understatement. Not in a million years would he ever have expected that the very one who'd managed to reduce him to a trembling, needy mess just by kissing him had never actually slept with anyone before. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it.

 

While it was Jin's first time to fall for another male, he couldn't say he was a virgin. Before debut, he'd dated a few times and had ended up spending more than one steamy night with two of the girls he'd dated. So he wasn't a virgin and he wasn't that inexperienced either...but it would still be the first time with someone from the same sex. Therefore, the knowledge that Hyuk had absolutely _no_ experience wasn't making things any easier. He'd hoped at least _one_ of them would know what he was doing.

 

          "Well...if it makes you feel any better...I've never had sex with another male," Jin replied, hoping his confession wouldn't make Hyuk want to run away even more, "So...I guess...we'll just have to learn as we go."

 

To his profound relief, Hyuk seemed to be brave enough to give it a shot, moving closer to him instead of backing away. Jin closed his eyes as Hyuk pushed him up against the wall once again and started kissing him while undressing him at the same time, his fingers moving deftly despite his initial clumsiness. Hyuk's tongue was deeply buried in his mouth, stroking his own so arousingly that Jin could soon feel his cock growing hard. When Hyuk finally pulled down his pants, exposing the large bulge now only hidden beneath Jin's briefs, he expected the maknae to run his fingers over his clothed erection. Instead, he felt his stomach flutter and his entrance twitch uncontrollably when Hyuk's fingers snuck right underneath his briefs to carefully explore the rim of his hole.

 

          "Wha-what are you doing?" Jin exclaimed after slightly pulling away, his voice, unfortunately, displaying the shock he felt at being touched there; he would very much have preferred to appear cool and unaffected.

 

          "What do you mean 'what am I doing'?...I may be a virgin...but even _I_ know where my member should go...or do you have any other holes I'm unaware of?" Hyuk replied slightly sarcastically, though he sounded mostly amused at Jin's state of surprise. 

 

          "Don't be ridiculous...Of course, I meant why are  _you_  trying to take _me_? Isn't it more than obvious that _I_ should fuck _you_?" Jin stated matter of factly; he simply couldn't _believe_ Hyuk was trying to top when he didn't even have any sexual experience, to begin with.

 

          "Why?" Hyuk merely asked, seeming completely unaffected by Jin's words.

 

          "Well...because... _I_ at least...have done it before," Jin replied.

 

          "So?" Hyuk simply countered, completely stepping on Jin's logical approach, "We'll both experience something new then."

 

          "What do you mean by 'So?' It makes sense for me to top...What's more, I'm older, I'm your hyung," Jin tried once again.

 

          "But I'm taller," Hyuk replied, moving closer to emphasize his point as he hovered above Jin's smaller body.

 

          "You may be taller, but you're still more innocent," Jin commented, hoping this would finally put an end to their discussion.

 

          "I may be a virgin...but I'm _not_ innocent _at all_...But, more importantly, I'm _stronger_ ," Hyuk said as he grabbed both of Jin's wrists and pinned them against the wall above his head with only one hand, his other confidently moving right back to Jin's ass.

 

At that point, Jin found he couldn't care less who topped and who bottomed, the only thing on his mind the painful throbbing in his now extremely hard member as he suddenly felt completely and utterly turned on by Hyuk's show of strength and dominance. It was something he'd never known he wanted...until now.

 

Neither able nor wanting to resist Hyuk's touch any longer, Jin remained utterly still as Hyuk's fingers started exploring his entrance, and only opened his mouth to help him out a bit.

 

          "Make them wet...your fingers...put some spit on them," Jin suggested, knowing it would help; even if he was inexperienced with same-sex relationships between men, he knew that much.

 

After doing as Jin had suggested, Hyuk returned his fingers to his hole and started pushing one in. Jin rested his head on Hyuk's shoulder for support as Hyuk's fingers entered him one after the other, making his heart race and his knees shake from the intensity of the feeling. After continuously pulling them out and pushing them in even further, making Jin moan and soon whimper with pleasure, Hyuk carefully started scissoring his fingers, tearing Jin's hole open even wider.

 

When he'd gotten him right where he wanted him and nearly succeeded in turning him into a complete and utter mess, Hyuk finally swept him up into his arms, carried him over to the bed, and carefully set him down. After swiftly undressing and grabbing a bottle of body lotion at Jin's suggestion, Hyuk joined him on the bed. Kneeling between his trembling, spread legs, Hyuk quickly slicked up his erection, gently lifted Jin's butt, brought his long, hard, and incredibly large cock up to his entrance, and slowly pushed inside.

 

          "Aaaahh...," Jin moaned, the sound reverberating deep inside his throat.

 

The feeling of Hyuk's big cock gradually sliding into and soon filling and stretching his entire hole was more exquisite than Jin would ever have imagined. He couldn't believe he'd actually tried to keep the maknae from taking him. Thank God he hadn't listened!

 

Jin's eyes slammed shut and his head fell back as Hyuk continuously slammed into him, taking him hard and fast as soon as Jin had become accustomed to being filled. And though his neck was overstretching almost painfully, all he could feel was the pleasure of being so thoroughly fucked by someone who, unbelievably, had never done this before.

 

At one point, Jin couldn't help himself from actually biting Hyuk's hand - the hand securely covering his mouth to keep him from moaning too loudly seeing as they shouldn't be caught at what they were doing since nobody aside from Jaehwan knew about them and the other members could be back at any time.

 

Instead of pulling his hand from his mouth, Hyuk merely reacted by pounding into him with more strength until Jin felt utterly boneless...his whole body consumed by the skillful movements of the maknae's hips, his huge cock hitting Jin's sweet spot with nearly every thrust. While whimpering and sucking on two of Hyuk's long fingers, Jin was finally sent right over the edge, a powerful orgasm crashing over him.

 

As Jin sullied both of their bodies with his sperm, Hyuk tore his fingers out of Jin's mouth and filled it with his tongue, instead, while he continued to fuck him with deep, hard thrusts until he finally spilled as well, filling Jin's hole with his warm, wet come. After gently pulling out and rolling off of him, Hyuk lay down beside him, pulled Jin's body against his own, and covered both of them with the blanket.

 

Not finding the words to convey just how much Hyuk had just moved and shaken him all at the same time, Jin simply remained silent, fully relishing the peaceful moment when he was lying in Hyuk's arms after having been so completely satisfied. Even though they still hadn't talked about the nature of the relationship they had, Jin was content with the way things were at the moment, not wanting to complicate things by addressing the subject too soon.

 

But his unasked question nevertheless seemed to be answered a moment later when Hyuk's husky voice penetrated his ear.

 

          "Don't even think about ever letting anyone else hear the noises you make when you come," he said before once again kissing him in an arousing way.

 

          "And by the way...I'm still not done with you," he added before starting to stimulate Jin's already tired body all over again.

 

But Jin was far from complaining...far from stopping the stronger maknae from taking what he wanted...and far from caring that he probably wouldn't be able to walk at all the very next day! 

 


	48. Surprise Guest

Hakyeon quickly got dressed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and applied his favorite moisturizing cream before heading toward his fellow members' rooms. Normally, he would have taken a quick shower as he loved starting a new day with a fresh feeling. But he simply didn't have enough time. He needed to hurry and catch the other members - except Taekwoon, who'd already left - before they set off to their solo schedules for the day.

 

For, Hakyeon was a man on a mission.

And he wouldn't rest until he finished what he was setting out to do.

 

In a few days' time, it would be Taekwoon's birthday. And Hakyeon simply couldn't resist throwing a surprise party for him. But in order to do so successfully, he needed the other members' help. Because lately, nothing Hakyeon and Hongbin got up to ever escaped their lover; Taekwoon always managed to know about every little thing they did.

 

After hurrying to his fellow members' respective rooms, in turn, to find one after the other empty, Hakyeon quickly checked the equally vacant kitchen before heading toward the last room. Sincerely hoping that at least Jaehwan hadn't left for his schedule yet, Hakyeon pushed the handle down and started pushing against the door only to realize that it wouldn't budge.

 

          _What the...?_ Hakyeon thought, utterly surprised.

 

When had Jaehwan _ever_ locked his door?! The answer was: never. This was an absolute first! Abruptly wondering if he'd gone against their number one rule - never to have sex at the dorm when other members were around - Hakyeon knocked on the door with more force than was necessary, ready to tell Jaehwan and Wonsik off the moment the door opened.

 

But when the door actually opened to reveal a ruffled, happy, and slightly guilty looking maknae, Hakyeon's words of reprimand instantly died on his tongue, utter confusion taking over instead.

 

          "Wha-...why are you...in Jaehwan's room?...What's going on?...Where's Jaehwani?" Hakyeon finally asked, still dumbfounded; what reason could Hyuk possibly have to sleep in Jaehwan's room...behind a locked door, moreover?

 

          "Err...Jaehwan hyung...isn't here," Hyuk answered while grinning sheepishly and running his hand through his completely disheveled hair.

 

          "I don't understand...what are you even doing in his room?...And why was the door locked?" Hakyeon pried further, still not getting it; because _why_ did the maknae suddenly appear so radiantly happy when he'd been so down just a few days ago...when he'd even cried in Hakyeon's arms, devastated and unwilling to tell him what was going on?

 

          "Do you remember the other day when you said that...that you'd be here for me...when I'm ready to share what's on my mind?," Hyuk suddenly asked, as though he'd just read Hakyeon's thoughts.

 

Hakyeon nodded and waited for the younger to continue while clearly remembering the maknae's tearstained face and his desperate crying, the difference between how miserable he'd seemed then and how happy he appeared at the moment downright striking. Whatever had happened to make such a positive impact could only be a good thing, Hakyeon thought.

 

Which was why he was even more astounded and completely speechless when Hyuk suddenly opened the door a bit further to reveal someone Hakyeon would never have expected to see, at least not in such a disheveled state...behind the same door Hyuk had just opened...in a room that had been locked.

 

Just as ruffled looking, with the same kind of goofily happy yet slightly guilty grin on his face...and locked up with VIXX's maknae in Jaehwan's room, presumably all night...was BTS's member Jin. And Hakyeon suddenly found himself completely stumped.

 

How had any of this happened without him even having the slightest clue about it? When had these two even ever interacted?

 

Completely baffled and not getting _one_ word out, Hakyeon stood in the opening simply staring at the two of them openmouthed while his brain was busy trying to process this new information. But before he could get very far, Hyuk had already lept through the doorway and slung his arms around him in a bear-like hug.

 

          "Thanks...for not saying anything bad...about Jin and me," Hyuk whispered in his ear while rubbing his back in a brotherly and appreciative way, his words suddenly making Hakyeon feel a bit guilty.

 

          "What do you mean 'thanks'...I just haven't found the right _bad_ things to say yet...my brain just got scrambled by the sight of the two of you," Hakyeon replied, only half joking.

 

But the maknae simply kept hugging him, seeming to know Hakyeon well enough to instantly realize that he was already caving due to Hyuk's charm, and knowing full well that though his words may have sounded disapproving, what his 'mother' wanted more than anything was for him to be happy.

 

          "Why don't you head to the kitchen and prepare a small breakfast for the three of us...while I have...a word...with Jaehwan's friend...," Hakyeon said after gently pulling out of their hug, quickly backpedaling when he saw Hyuk's expression of protest at his choice of words, "...with your... _boyfriend_...I mean."

 

          "You're just going to give him the 'Don't-you- _ever_ -hurt-my-Hyukkie-or-you'll-disappear-and-never-be-found-again' speech, am I right?" Hyuk interjected stubbornly, not moving an inch from his position next to his boyfriend.

 

          "Fine...since you already know...," Hakyeon replied, equally stubborn; there was no way he'd let Jin keep seeing his 'boy' without letting him know - loud and clear - that he wouldn't tolerate it if he ever willingly hurt him, "...Don't you _ever_ hurt my Hyukkie or you'll disappear and never be found again."

 

          "Waah...you could have said it differently instead of completely repeating what I just said, word for word," Hyuk complained in a teasing manner.

 

          "Why?...You said it perfectly," Hakyeon simply replied while looking straight at Jin and holding his gaze, "But if you insist, I'll change it a bit...Don't you _ever_ hurt my Hyukkie or you'll disappear...and never, never, never  _ever_...be found again."

 

          "Got it," Jin replied sincerely, his earnest expression soon after changing to one of amusement, making him smile brightly at Hakyeon as he offered his hand for a pinky swear, "Promise," he finally said before stamping with his thumb and making a copy with the palm of his hand.

 

After Jin and Hyuk had showered - something they definitely needed to do before going _anywhere_ outside the room! - the three of them sat down to have the breakfast Hakyeon had prepared in the meantime and started planning Taekwoon's surprise party for 10th of November, which would be the coming Saturday.

 

After several hours of discussion, during which Hyuk had jokingly suggested doing a surprise party Leo-style - which meant Hakyeon would simply be waiting in their dorm's dark hallway with nothing but a small cake with some candles and a bored look on his face - they had finally finished planning it all out.

 

Already picturing Taekwoon's delighted and hungry expression at the sight of the birthday cake...and thinking about what Taekwoon, Hongbin, and Hakyeon would do once the official surprise party with the other members - and Jin - was over, Hakyeon couldn't wait for his lover's birthday to arrive...  

 


	49. Surprise Party

Taekwoon got on the elevator and pushed the button to the floor on which VIXX's dorm was located. _Deathly_ tired from a whole day of practice for his upcoming musical 'Elisabeth', he leaned back against the wall of the elevator and closed his eyes. When he reached the floor much quicker than he liked, he forced his eyes open and managed to get off just before the doors closed again.

 

Even though it was his birthday - which the Elisabeth staff had already celebrated by presenting him with a cake and a congratulatory song - it hadn't really felt like such a special day to him. And though he'd, of course, thanked his fellow musical actors and the staff for the birthday surprise they'd presented him with, he still felt like something crucial was missing to make him feel special, appreciated, and loved.

 

He couldn't really help the way he felt. Since the early morning, when he'd swiftly gobbled down a rather dull and tasteless breakfast after realizing that none of the members had remembered his birthday and prepared Seaweed Soup for him, Taekwoon had carried his phone with him, checking it every chance he got in the hopes of at least eventually getting birthday messages from his fellow members, especially from his boyfriends. After even asking one of his fellow musical actors, with whom he was close and had already exchanged phone numbers, to text him - and confirm that there was absolutely nothing wrong with his phone! - Taekwoon had spent the rest of the day being salty and feeling down because none of his members had congratulated him.

 

Sighing deeply and wishing fervently that this disappointing day would finally end - even though it was only around 10 PM - Taekwoon slowly opened the door to the dorm without really paying attention to his surroundings...and felt his chin drop.

 

In the middle of the almost completely dark and otherwise deserted hallway, right in front of the opening door, stood Hakyeon with a bored expression and a small cake decorated with brightly glowing candles, his stance and the look on his face so perfectly imitating the way Taekwoon had surprised Hakyeon on his birthday many years ago that Taekwoon couldn't help but burst into laughter and end up with his knees hitting the floor and tears of laughter rolling from his eyes.

 

When he finally managed to get a hold of himself and get back to his feet again, the lights in the hallway suddenly came back to life at the same time as his other fellow members came jumping at him carrying balloons and shooting confetti into the air while singing Happy Birthday and enveloping him in a huge group hug. After everyone had calmed down again, the other members headed toward the living room to finish the last preparations for the birthday party while Hakyeon and Hongbin stayed back.

 

          "Happy birthday...my love," Hakyeon said in a soft voice before planting a sweet birthday kiss on Taekwoon's lips.

 

          "' _My love_ '? Could you be any cheesier?" Hongbin commented, rolling his eyes at Hakyeon.

 

          "Yah!" Hakyeon immediately complained, "...how is that cheesy? And what, if I may ask, do _you_ call him then? Just hyung?"

 

          "Happy birthday... _baby_ ," Hongbin simply said as he approached Taekwoon and planted an equally sweet kiss on his lips, lingering for a long while before pulling away again - probably to annoy Hakyeon.

 

          "' _Baby_ '? How is that any better? How totally cliché," Hakyeon commented, rolling his eyes right back at Hongbin. 

 

          _Honestly, those two dorks,_ Taekwoon thought, grinning amusedly.

 

          "Yah...what's up with the two of you? This isn't a competition...And, by the way, I'm fine with anything you want to call me...I think it's cute...So stop teasing each other already, and just kiss me," Taekwoon finally said and pulled them both closer, wanting to kiss them at the same time.

 

These kisses were what he'd been missing for his birthday...the only thing he needed right now (besides hearing his other fellow members' congratulations, of course, which had finally made his day a special one).

 

After playfully scolding each and every one of his fellow members for utterly fooling him all day long while secretly preparing a surprise party, Taekwoon settled down on the living room floor and started to attack the various foods and snacks the others had set down for the party. By the time most of the food had successfully been annihilated and they'd started on the alcoholic beverages, Jin finally arrived and joined the party. And though Taekwoon had been a bit shocked at first when Hakyeon had told the other members about Hyuk and Jin's involvement a few days earlier, he found he'd strangely already gotten used to the fact that the two of them were an item, even finding it comforting to know that Hyuk had also found someone who seemed to make him happy.

 

          "Lesss play game," Hakyeon suddenly suggested halfway through their third round of drinks, his words already sounding slurred from the alcohol he'd consumed - since he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking.

 

Judging by the amount of highly enthusiastic and way too loud cheering from all around him, Taekwoon suspected that the other members weren't doing much better at staying sober. And before he even knew how it had happened, Taekwoon found himself in a highly embarrassing position during a heated and not so innocent game of 'Spin the Bottle', sitting between Hongbin's legs with his back against the latter's chest and Hakyeon on his lap while the three of them french kissed in front of everyone else.

 

          "Go get it!" Taekwoon once again heard one of the members shout drunkenly, wondering when they would finally stop shouting and egging the three of them on - surely they wouldn't like the consequences of encouraging them too much...Taekwoon could already feel his pants getting way too tight!

 

A few hours and many bottles of alcohol later, the living room floor was covered with completely drunk and unconscious idols - minus three of them, who'd quietly snuck from the living room unnoticed to continue a very, very secret birthday party of their own despite the fact that the other members and Jin were still in the dorm.

 

But seeing as they'd drunk too much alcohol, were passed out on the living room floor, and couldn't hear a thing even if they wanted to, there was nothing standing in the way of Taekwoon getting the best birthday present _ever_!  


	50. Trust

Taekwoon could feel his whole body humming with excitement as he lay between Hakyeon and Hongbin, the two of them continuously teasing him while they kissed. Even though he'd drunk a fair bit of alcohol, he was still sober enough to feel every little thing his boyfriends were doing to him...their seductive kisses, naughty touches, and even naughtier behavior when they started biting his nipples until they were red only to suck on them immediately afterward.

 

He wasn't really sure how he'd ended up being at their mercy, as he usually tended to be the one in control, the one doing such things to the other two, but somehow they'd managed to push him down on the mattress between them and weaken his defenses while muttering something along the lines of wanting to spoil the birthday boy. In the end, Taekwoon had been defeated; not because he couldn't have fought back hard enough to gain control, but because he'd been able to tell how much they wanted to do this for him. And so, not wanting to disappoint them, he'd surrendered even though it wasn't really Taekwoon's thing to be controlled by someone else.

 

          Or so he'd thought...

 

...until the moment he realized that he'd never before experienced the kind of thrill he was feeling now...the kind of thrill that came from not being in control as the other two made his body tremble and his heart beat so wildly that Taekwoon had a hard time keeping his eyes open or his back from arching off the mattress.

 

          "Did you buy it?" Taekwoon abruptly heard Hakyeon ask; since the words made absolutely no sense to him, he could only surmise that they must be meant for Hongbin.

 

Opening his eyes wide enough to see what was going on around him, he only just caught the silent nod and wicked grin Hongbin sent Hakyeon before quickly jumping up from the bed and leaving the room (buck-naked).

 

          "What's going on?" Taekwoon couldn't help but ask, suddenly feeling apprehensive; what could be so important that Hongbin needed to leave the room at such a moment...and what in heaven's name had that wicked grin been about?

 

          "You'll see in a moment," Hakyeon simply replied before going right back to sucking on Taekwoon's already highly sensitive nipple - perhaps in an attempt to distract him and keep him from asking more questions.

 

And though he had to admit that he was having an incredibly hard time trying to concentrate enough to form the words, his curiosity and nervousness finally got the better of him.

 

          "No...aaahh...seriously...what are...oughh...the two of you...up to?" Taekwoon managed, his words slipping out in between little breathless moans as the tip of Hakyeon's tongue continued to tease his nipple.

 

Instead of immediately answering, Hakyeon stopped what he was doing, scooted up toward him, and propped himself up on his elbow, his face directly above Taekwoon's as he gazed down into his eyes with an earnest expression.

 

          "Don't you trust me?" Hakyeon asked, his eyes wide and imploring, "Over all these years, have I _ever_ done anything that was bad for you...or hurt you?"

 

           _Well...shit,_ Taekwoon immediately thought, knowing there was absolutely no way whatsoever out of whatever Hakyeon had planned for him.

 

Because the answer, of course, was: Yes...and no. Yes, he trusted him. And no, he'd never done anything that was bad for him. Even when he'd annoyed Taekwoon so badly that he'd wanted to tie his hands or cover his mouth to keep Hakyeon from continuously touching him or talking to him non-stop, the truth was that Taekwoon wouldn't be the confident, open person he was today if it wasn't for Hakyeon. He was the one who'd managed to break through all of his defenses, the one who'd gotten him to finally open up and show more of himself to the world.

 

So, no, nothing he'd ever done, no matter how annoying at the time, had ever hurt him or been bad for him. And therefore, there was no way Taekwoon could say he didn't trust him. There was no way to get out of whatever Hakyeon had put his mind to...It had been Game Over ever since the moment Hakyeon had opened his mouth to ask Taekwoon if he trusted him...And Hakyeon knew it all too well...

 

Taekwoon looked directly up into Hakyeon's eyes and simply shook his head, acknowledging that he'd never done anything to hurt him.

 

          "Good boy...," Hakyeon teased him, "...I'm sure you'll enjoy this...new experience."

 

Taekwoon closed his eyes, his body shaking even harder as he wondered what that new experience might be. And it didn't take too long to find out as Hongbin came back to the room only a few moments later, carrying a mysterious box in his hand.

 

Since he saw no way out of this situation, Taekwoon remained utterly still between the two of them after Hongbin and the ominous box joined them on the bed.

 

          "Let's see...," Hongbin said after opening the carton and rummaging around in it.

 

Taekwoon quickly lifted his head a bit so that he could get a glimpse of the items it contained, his heart skipping several beats when he identified a few objects that looked like sex toys nestled between more than one ribbon of black cloth. Though he'd never used such things before, he knew enough to be able to tell that the objects were dildos or vibrators.

 

          "Yah...," Taekwoon exclaimed as he tried to scramble away from the two of them, "...you're not seriously thinking of shoving that stuff up my ass are you?"

 

But Hakyeon's firm hand on his chest and his penetrating 'Didn't-you-just-agree-to-trust-me?' stare stopped Taekwoon in his tracks, all fight once again leaving his body as he gave in and waited for them to do their worst to him.

 

After pulling out three equally long and sturdy looking ribbons of silken black cloth from the box, Hongbin used them to carefully tie Taekwoon's wrists to the bed's headboard before tying the third around his head to cover his eyes.

 

Taekwoon's world turned black, his body shivering uncontrollably as he lay in the dark, helplessly at Hakyeon and Hongbin's mercy, waiting for them to take him to a completely new world.     

 


	51. Chained Up

Hongbin finished tying the black cloth around Taekwoon's eyes and quickly hid his hands behind his back, trying to keep Hakyeon from noticing that they were shaking slightly. He knew he wasn't the one who was supposed to be trembling when _Taekwoon_ was tied up and helpless. But Hongbin couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about what they were about to do, even though it excited him at the same time.

 

When Hakyeon had first told him about his plan for Taekwoon's birthday and asked him to buy various sex toys, lube, and ribbons, Hongbin had agreed to do so even though he'd seriously doubted that they would get Taekwoon to agree to it. Having Taekwoon obediently let him tie his wrists and blindfold him, had genuinely surprised and shocked Hongbin. Never in a million years would he have thought Taekwoon would let them do this.

 

          "Why don't you...pick something out," Hakyeon suddenly interrupted Hongbin's train of thought, making him jump.

 

Somewhat startled, and not really ready yet, Hongbin started rummaging through the box again, not really concentrating on picking anything out but rather trying to buy time until he managed to stop his hands from shaking. But when his gaze met Hakyeon's, he immediately knew it didn't matter, his hyung's knowing smile and pointed look a dead giveaway that he'd long since noticed Hongbin's nervousness.

 

          "Here...let me go first, then," Hakyeon said, still smiling while reaching for the box.

 

Hakyeon's hand slowly traveled across Hongbin's, his fingers seductively sliding between Hongbin's before he actually started searching for the item he wanted. After pulling out the cock-ring he'd been looking for and a bottle of lube, Hakyeon applied the liquid to the ring and carefully slid it onto Taekwoon's cock, which twitched noticeably as Hakyeon slid it on. And though Hongbin fully expected Taekwoon to protest, not one word fell from his lips.

 

Hongbin heaved a deep sigh, knowing it was his turn now, and finally picked out a large-sized vibrator and placed it on the bed to use after properly preparing Taekwoon. After Hongbin spread Taekwoon's legs apart and squirted some of the lube onto two of his and two of Hakyeon's fingers, the two of them slowly inserted them into Taekwoon's hole one after the other, carefully stretching him until his delicate, quiet moans became more and more breathless. When he was finally ready, Hongbin lubed the vibrator and slowly slid it inside until it completely filled Taekwoon and wouldn't go in any further.

 

The breath that had caught in Taekwoon's chest after Hongbin had pushed the vibrator all the way in started rushing out of his lungs a moment later when he turned the vibrator function on, his breathing becoming more and more labored with the sudden seemingly overwhelming stimulation of his insides.

 

          "Aaaahh...oohh...enggghhh...," Taekwoon moaned rather loudly, though his voice still remained as delicate as always.

 

Hongbin's hand immediately reached for the vibrator buried in Taekwoon's hole as he watched his hyung slowly come undone, wanting to increase his pleasure even more. He grabbed the end of the vibrator and started pulling it out nearly all the way until Taekwoon's bottom actually started coming forward in search of the vibrator he seemed to desperately want back in his body. Hongbin teased him for a good long while, continuously touching the very tip of the vibrator to the rim of Taekwoon's hole while denying him the pleasure of being filled until his hyung finally spoke up.

 

          "Yah!" Taekwoon complained breathlessly, "What are you doing?...Put it in already."

 

But Hongbin was having way too much fun to comply. And Hakyeon, who'd simply been watching up until now, seemed to find just as much pleasure in seeing Taekwoon squirm. Seemingly having decided that he'd watched long enough, Hakyeon finally joined him in teasing the birthday boy, his hand continuously ghosting across the tip of Taekwoon's erection, the light touch in combination with the constricting cock-ring driving Taekwoon even crazier than before.

 

          "Aaaaaaaahhhh...aaahh...oughh...no...what...aaah...are...you...aah...doing?" Taekwoon moaned desperately, struggling to free his wrists and scramble away from the teasing touches that were driving him crazy while not fully satisfying him.

 

          "Do you want me to push it in again?" Hongbin whispered into Taekwoon's ear, being extra careful to slide his tongue in his hyung's ear before pulling back again.

 

Taekwoon's cock twitched like crazy and his bottom moved of its own accord, trying to inch closer to Hakyeon's hand and the vibrator, but his lips remained firmly sealed. Hongbin threw Hakyeon a pointed look. Both of them knew it wasn't easy to get Taekwoon to admit that he wanted it or to actually ask for it. But he was far from giving up, suddenly feeling the overwhelming need to hear Taekwoon beg to be satisfied.

 

          "You don't want this?" Hongbin asked in a mock-innocent tone while pushing the vibrator all the way in again only once before pulling it out completely again.

 

Taekwoon moaned loudly when the vibrator hit his prostate and sighed in defeat the very next moment when he again felt its loss.

 

          "You just have to tell me...just say you want it...and ask me to push it in...Why are you being so stubborn?" Hongbin tried again, his hand slowly drawing circles around the rim of Taekwoon's hole with the very tip of the vibrator, making his hyung's entrance twitch like crazy.

 

          "So...what do you say...hmm?" Hakyeon asked him in a seductive voice while teasing the wet slit of his cock with the tips of his fingers, "Come on...we already know you want it...just say so."

 

          "Ne...yes...I...I want it...please...put it in, Hongbin-ah," Taekwoon finally admitted in a voice only just above a whisper.

 

Taekwoon didn't have to ask him twice. The moment the words left his hyung's lips, Hongbin's hand moved forward, pushing the vibrator deeply into Taekwoon's hole. At the same time, Hakyeon, who'd quietly changed his position on the bed while Taekwoon had talked, suddenly went down on Taekwoon, taking his rockhard, already leaking, and twitching cock into his mouth and sucking on it as though he'd never tasted anything better.

 

Taekwoon's head hit the pillow hard as he abruptly threw it back. Hongbin suddenly found himself having an incredibly hard time trying to remain in control as he watched Taekwoon's back arch off the mattress, the rosy and extremely hard tips of his nipples reaching for the sky and begging for his mouth. Hongbin couldn't resist, his mouth descending upon one of Taekwoon's inviting teats while his hand continued to plunge the vibrator into Taekwoon's hole.

 

          "Aaarghhh...aaah...mmmnnggh...," Taekwoon's moans intensified, his tied arms pulling on his restraints and his body continuously squirming beneath their touching hands and sucking mouths.

 

After another minute of these intense attacks, Taekwoon's moans had changed, becoming more and more breathless until they'd turned into little desperate sobs. Finally having mercy on the overstimulated mess of a boyfriend lying between them, Hakyeon and Hongbin exchanged a look, agreeing on letting Taekwoon come at last. As Hakyeon carefully removed the restricting cock-ring, Hongbin moved the hand holding the vibrator even faster while his tongue glid around Taekwoon's perked up nipple and he fully enjoyed the warmth, the slightly salty taste, and the texture of Taekwoon's soft skin and hardened teat against his tongue.

 

Not long after, Taekwoon's whole body convulsed as he came hard while whimpering and biting down on his lower lip. Hongbin took a moment to watch Hakyeon's Adam's Apple bob up and down seductively as he swallowed Taekwoon's come and continued to suck on the tip as though milking him for every last drop. By the time he turned off the vibrator and pulled it out of Taekwoon's hole, Hongbin was so hard and horny he couldn't help but start touching himself.

 

          "Wait...," he suddenly heard Hakyeon say.

 

Hongbin followed Hakyeon's gaze as his hyung silently motioned toward Taekwoon with his head and winked at him. When Hongbin still hadn't understood what Hakyeon was getting at, Hakyeon scooted up the bed, gently lifted Taekwoon into a sitting position and motioned for Hongbin to scoot toward them. While Hongbin complied, though still none the wiser and wondering what the hell Hakyeon wanted to do now, he watched as Hakyeon's finger gently moved across Taekwoon's lips until he parted them and let Hakyeon push his finger inside.

 

Before Hongbin had fully grasped what Hakyeon wanted him to do, he already found himself being moved along by Hakyeon, who pulled him right up to Taekwoon until his throbbing erection was right in front of Taekwoon's blindfolded face and parted lips. Without a word of warning, Hakyeon spread Taekwoon's lips further apart with his fingers, gently grabbed a hold of Hongbin's erection and guided it inside Taekwoon's mouth.

 

Instead of resisting or pulling back like Hongbin had expected him to do, Taekwoon's lips immediately closed around his cock and started sucking, making Hongbin's knees weaken and his body slump. Hakyeon instantly grabbed a hold of him, supporting him from behind with one hand while adding to Hongbin's lightheadedness by inserting a few wet fingers into his hole with his other. And before Hongbin knew what was happening, Hakyeon had grabbed the lube and was filling his hole with his long, hard, and warm cock while Taekwoon was sucking on his own erection.

 

Hongbin's vision swam as the two of them drove him crazy, making him finally see stars and explode. Shortly after Hongbin released a part of himself into Taekwoon's mouth and tightened around Hakyeon's erection, Hakyeon followed him, filling his hole with his warm semen.

 

And though all three of them had already come, their shared night was far from over. After they'd recovered from the first round, Hakyeon and Hongbin continued to tease a helpless Taekwoon the entire night, finally ending up taking him together right before the sun came up. With Hakyeon's and Hongbin's cocks deeply buried inside Taekwoon's now completely loosened hole - Hakyeon at his back and Hongbin pushing his cock in next to Hakyeon's from the front - the three of them fucked deeply and slowly while clawing at each other's bodies and kissing until they finally came completely undone and collapsed against each other, a heap of utterly exhausted bodies.

 

After untying Taekwoon and removing his blindfold, the three of them soon fell asleep in each other's warm embraces as the first rays of sunlight drifted through the slightly see-through curtains.


	52. Ghost From the Past

Jaehwan slipped into his padded jacket, gathered his belongings and some of the flowers and gifts his fans had personally presented him with, and left Sankei Hall Breeze, the venue in Osaka (Japan) where he'd just finished the very first stage of the musical 'Gwangyeom Sonata'. Even though he'd felt as nervous as though it had been his very first musical performance, the stage had turned out to be really fun and a complete success, his nervousness fading the moment he actually started singing his first song. Now, he was leaving the venue together with Super Junior's Ryeowook - who was also one of the main cast - their staff, and managers, all of them heading to a well-known establishment to indulge themselves in sushi and a celebration for the musical's first successful stage.

 

After they'd all sat down together and ordered their food, Jaehwan excused himself and headed toward the bathroom; not because he actually had to go, but because he was simply dying to check his phone and find a text message of his boyfriend, whom he missed so desperately by now that he wouldn't be able to feel relaxed and happy until he finally heard from him. Since Wonsik was currently busy with his activities as VIXX's LR unit in Moscow, Jaehwan wasn't sure if he even had enough time to text him - although the concert had been the day before, it was possible LR still had other schedules to attend. But Jaehwan didn't need a lengthy update or anything. All he needed were a few words...or even just a short 'Hello' or 'I miss you'.

 

After hurrying into one of the toilet stalls, Jaehwan pulled his phone out and quickly scanned it for any messages he'd received in the past few hours. Realizing immediately that he hadn't gotten anything from his boyfriend yet, Jaehwan was about to put his phone away again with a slightly sinking feeling, when a feeling of a very different kind suddenly crashed over him.

 

Nearly dropping his phone in the uncovered toilet bowl in shock - which, yes he'd done before and didn't want to repeat for anything in the world, thank you very much! - Jaehwan squinted in concentration at the phone number displayed with one of the new messages to make absolutely sure that he wasn't imagining things. Even if he'd tried to forget that number...even if his life no longer revolved around the person who'd texted him...Jaehwan couldn't help but recognize it right away and tremble in response to having received a message from that number again.

 

It had been so long since he'd last been in contact with his ex-girlfriend...it had seemed so certain that he would never ever hear from her again since she'd made him choose between becoming an idol and maintaining their relationship...that Jaehwan simply didn't know how to feel at that moment. And the only thing he could think was that it seemed utterly unreal to hear from her again.

 

With a wildly beating heart and shaking hands, Jaehwan managed to tap on the message preview display and open the complete message, feeling his stomach plummet and the memories of the two of them fast forward through his mind like the scenes of a movie as he read her words.

 

_Jaehwani, I know we haven't heard from each other in a while. I'm sorry to text you so suddenly. But I just missed you._

 

That was it. No further explanation. No mention of what she'd meant to achieve by texting him, of whether or not she was expecting him to respond, or if she was perhaps even thinking of getting back together with him after such a long time...simply a short apology before hitting him with the words he thought he'd never hear from her: 'I just missed you'.

 

To say he felt shocked would have been a complete understatement, the chaotic mess of mixed emotions running through him so much more than simple shock that he had to close the lid of the toilet and plump himself down before his shaking legs gave out from under him. Yes, he was shocked, that much was true. But even more than that, he was starting to feel confused and afraid. Confused, because before he'd heard from her again he'd believed himself to be completely and utterly over her. Afraid, because he was abruptly confronted with the sad reality that he wasn't quite as over her as he'd thought.

 

Which suddenly begged the question: what about Wonsik? Ever since they'd started seeing each other, his feelings for him had continuously grown to a point where he'd already started asking himself whether what he felt for him was infatuation, obsession, love or perhaps obsession paired with the kind of love that could last a lifetime. And yet, before he had an opportunity to fully explore this relationship and see how deep their feelings for each other really ran, his ex-girlfriend had crashed right back into his life along with all the emotional baggage that came with her...with all the painful yet at the same time happy memories they'd shared.

 

As if to make his confusion worse, a new text message arrived as Jaehwan still sat staring at his girlfr - ex-girlfriend's! - message. With no longer shaking, but rather completely numb fingers, Jaehwan held his phone in one hand while touching the display with the other to open the message of the sender he'd lovingly saved as 'Jagiya' (Honey) just a while ago.

 

_Wish you were here...I miss you so much!_

 

The message was followed by two whole rows of heart emoticons of different colors and sizes. Jaehwan closed the message again, going back to the displayed list of messages he'd received that day. Instead of feeling relieved about finally hearing from his boyfriend again...instead of feeling his heart swell with happiness as it usually did whenever he received Wonsik's messages, all Jaehwan could feel at that moment - staring at both of their messages displayed next to each other on the list - was a sick feeling that had started to claw its way up his stomach.

 

After hurriedly slipping his phone back into his pocket, jumping up from the toilet, and opening the lid just in time, Jaehwan sunk to his knees in front of the toilet bowl, hung his head over it... and threw up. 

 


	53. Cold

Wonsik paced nervously up and down his room as he waited for his boyfriend to finally arrive. He hadn't seen him in days and simply couldn't wait to hold him in his arms again. It had been too long...and the physical distance between them had started to make him feel restless and uneasy. He couldn't really explain it because he shouldn't be feeling this way. For, no matter how far apart they were or how long they didn't see each other, their feelings wouldn't change. He knew they already shared a very deep connection; so there was no reason for him to feel insecure. Nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel that way.

 

Perhaps it had to do with the text message he'd received back from Jaehwan after having texted him that he missed him. Instead of answering right away like he usually did when he wasn't too busy - which, at the time Wonsik had texted him, he shouldn't have been - he didn't answer until he'd arrived at the airport in Seoul a little while ago. And the text had simply said that his flight had landed and he'd be back at the dorm soon.

 

Now Wonsik found himself feeling even more nervous than when he hadn't heard from him for so long. Because instead of telling him that he was happy to see him soon or that he'd missed him just as much, he'd simply said he'd be back in a short while. So impersonal...so void of heartfelt expressions...so cold. And Wonsik simply didn't know what to think about this completely out of character reaction he'd received from the one person whose existence had become the most important thing in the world to him.

 

Wonsik remained so lost in his thoughts that he completely missed the moment his boyfriend arrived back at the dorm, only noticing Jaehwan's return when he suddenly opened the door to Wonsik's room and stepped inside.

 

Wonsik was about to run toward him and throw his arms around him, feeling so happy to finally see him again that he didn't care about appearances. He was more than willing to admit that he was head over heels...that he'd missed him so badly, he didn't even have words to express himself. But at the very moment that his eyes found Jaehwan's face, Wonsik's steps faltered and his body froze.

 

Standing before him was a Jaehwan he'd never seen before. As if someone else had slipped inside and completely taken over Jaehwan's body, his boyfriend was looking at him without any spark of emotion...his eyes seeming cold and indifferent...as they glanced at Wonsik past the equally cold mask he was wearing...making Wonsik's heart slowly crumble.

 

          What the hell had happened to his boyfriend to make him look at him so coldly?

 

Though every single cell in his body was telling him that something was very wrong, Wonsik plucked up the courage to approach his boyfriend head-on and face whatever kind of situation he was walking into. Because even if he came out of it with a heart broken into thousands of pieces, Wonsik couldn't just ignore the change in Jaehwan's demeanor. He had to know what was going on even though it might have been wiser to act as though he hadn't noticed anything and simply pretend that everything was okay until the Jaehwan he knew found his way back and the familiar spark of warmth replaced his currently cold gaze.

 

          "Hyung...," Wonsik said as he carefully walked up to him and gently grabbed both of his upper arms, squeezing them slightly, "...mwoga munje ya?...what's wrong?"

 

Jaehwan's gaze locked onto his, the icy cold spark in his eyes visibly changing as Wonsik gazed into them...the ice slowly melting at the same time as the expressionless mask he'd been hiding behind finally crumbled and slid right off his face to be replaced with the raw reality of his anguish. As Wonsik continued to look into his eyes, unsure of whether or not he should continue to pry since Jaehwan seemed unwilling to answer, glistening tears silently leaked from his boyfriend's eyes, slowly rolled down his cheeks, and dropped out of sight to wet the floor beneath their feet.

 

Wonsik suddenly couldn't speak past the lump in his throat; the only thing he could do was pull Jaehwan into his arms and hug him as close to himself as he possibly could and not let go until his tears dried and his slender body stopped shaking.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Jaehwan's body was trembling badly, the only thing holding him together - body and soul - the strong, warm, and comforting arms tightly slung around him. Jaehwan's tears simply wouldn't stop spilling as he clung to Wonsik's body, the excruciatingly painful feeling of guilt gnawing at his very gut as he greedily held onto and let himself be comforted by the very person he was hurting the most at that moment. Because at that point, he still wasn't sure about what he should do.

 

The very reason why he'd tried to distance himself from Wonsik by not texting back earlier, by acting in such a cold manner, and by trying to hide behind a mask, was that he hadn't been able to come to a decision yet. Even though he'd finally arrived at the conclusion that what he felt for Wonsik was definitely love, he also knew for a fact that he'd once loved his ex-girlfriend to the point of almost giving up his lifelong dream for her and that this love hadn't completely vanished yet. And although the last thing he wanted was to blindly jump right back into a relationship with her after everything that had happened between them and everything that had developed between Wonsik and him, he also couldn't just continue as he had before.

 

While the last thing he wanted was to hurt Wonsik, he also didn't want to lead him on when he wasn't yet sure what to do about his ex-girlfriend. He couldn't even compare both relationships to each other because what he'd had with his ex-girlfriend was just as beautiful as what he had with Wonsik, just in a completely different way. Perhaps it was because one was with a woman while the other was with a man...in one relationship he was the stronger one, the one to lean on and depend upon, the protector...in the other he was the frailer one, the one who leaned on his much stronger boyfriend, the one who wanted to be coddled and protected, and the one who completely and utterly surrendered.

 

          How could he possibly compare them? How could he find out which of the two he simply couldn't live without?

 

And though he didn't yet know the answer to that question, he knew one thing without a shadow of a doubt: He needed to tell Wonsik what was going on...needed to tell him the truth...that he was confused...that he was struggling...that he knew it wasn't fair to him...but that he didn't know what to do.

 

Jaehwan was lost, but perhaps by being open with Wonsik, he could finally find his true self.

 


	54. No Right Words

Jaehwan pulled back out of his boyfriend's arms, wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and face, and silently watched as concern and fear warred on Wonsik's slightly tough yet handsome face.

 

          'I finally realized I'm in love with you,' was what Jaehwan longed to say. But to do so wouldn't have been right. Because the very next words out of his mouth would have been 'But I also realized I'm not over my ex.'

 

Words that would hurt more than his confession of being in love with him could make up for. Since he didn't know what else to do - the right words for this kind of situation would never come to him, no matter how long he waited - Jaehwan simply plucked his phone from his pocket, pulled up the text message he'd received from his ex, and held his phone out to Wonsik.

 

With a curious and somewhat cautious look in his eyes and a badly shaking hand, Wonsik grabbed the phone and took a look at the text message displayed on the screen. A split-second later, the look on his face changed completely, his expression turning darker and angrier than Jaehwan had ever seen it. Wonsik opened and closed his mouth several times before an actual sound made it past his lips; he seemed at a complete loss to handle what Jaehwan had just shown him.

 

          "What is this?" were the simple words that finally made it to Jaehwan's ears, though there was no doubt in his mind that his dongsaeng's head was currently filled with a thousand more questions and at least a couple dozen creative swear words.

 

When Jaehwan took too long and didn't immediately answer, Wonsik continued, "Can you please explain this to me...because I'm pretty sure _I_ didn't write these words...though _I_ should be the _only_ one with the right to tell you I missed you...So unless there's a cousin or sibling who texts you and whose existence you've kept from me, I want to know _right now_ who thinks he has the right to speak to you so intimately and without honorifics."

 

Jaehwan's mouth suddenly seemed to have gone completely dry and a large lump had formed in his throat. Because although Wonsik's words were calm and controlled, Jaehwan could see how much it must have cost him to appear that calm, Wonsik's control visibly slipping with each passing moment...his repressed anger threatening to erupt and get the better of him at last.

 

          "It's not a relative...and it's not a 'he' either," Jaehwan carefully explained in a small voice.

 

          "Then who...?" Wonsik started out, a confused look on his face for a moment before realization visibly hit him, "It's  _her_...isn't it?...The one you...the one whom you...were with...who made you choose..." Wonsik's question that didn't really seem like a question by the sound of his voice but rather like a confirmation of his thoughts drifted through the otherwise silent room, his unfinished sentence uncomfortably lingering in the air between them.

 

Instead of using words which he wasn't sure he'd be able to form in the first place, Jaehwan merely nodded as he reached for his phone, slid it from Wonsik's still trembling fingers, and pocketed it again.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Wonsik was completely immersed in the serious and regretful look on Jaehwan's face as his hyung pulled the phone right out from between his numb fingers, not giving him a chance to do even _one_ of the things he'd already been planning on doing in his mind.

 

One: control his anger and simply coolly and completely confidently delete the ex's message and contact info before suavely pulling his boyfriend into his arms and kissing him so passionately that he wouldn't even remember he'd ever had a girlfriend...

 

Or...

 

Two: not give a fuck about appearing unaffected and actually throwing the phone across the room so that it hit the wall and shattered into a thousand little pieces - in lieu of his heart - before pulling Jaehwan close and making him forget his ex and then buying him a new phone.

 

But before he could do one or the other - and yes, _of_ _course_  he knew it would be wrong to touch Jaehwan's phone in the first place! - the possibility to do so was snatched right from him along with the phone, leaving him feeling pathetic, small, and helpless instead.

 

Seeing as he couldn't think of any words that might help him - from Jaehwan's behavior ever since he'd sent him the cold text message reply as well as from the tears and the regretful and guilty look on his face, it was quite clear that he was having second thoughts about their relationship and that he was thinking about his ex - Wonsik felt he had no other choice than to use the only real ace up his sleeve: the power he knew he had over him.

 

Since words were utterly failing him - though he probably could have come up with exceptionally profound, beautiful, and heartfelt words if it was for a song and not the kind of situation he was facing now - and since they didn't tend to openly talk about their feelings for one another, Wonsik vowed to use his charms and his body, instead, to make Jaehwan _his_ beyond a shadow of a doubt...to make him crave him so badly, he'd never want anyone else ever again.

 

Ignoring the surprised and slightly shocked look on Jaehwan's face - he definitely hadn't seen this coming - Wonsik walked him right back against the wall, pinned his arms to both sides of his head (though without using too much force), and slowly moved in to steal his breath...

 

          ...and the heart that wasn't yet completely _his_.

 


	55. In Love

Jaehwan's arms were pinned against the hard and unforgiving wall at his back, his heart pounding so violently against his ribcage he was sure it would end up tearing him apart. Even though he'd been fully prepared to tell Wonsik the truth - that he needed time to figure things out - and leave immediately afterward before everything could get even more complicated, he suddenly once again found himself in a situation he couldn't get out of.

 

From the very moment Wonsik had backed him up against the wall and grabbed and pinned his wrists, all of Jaehwan's resolve to resist him and run away had gone out the window, the intensely determined, and excitingly sexual glint in Wonsik's eyes as well as his extremely masculine and predatory appearance as he cornered him robbing Jaehwan of all his senses and making his head spin.

 

While Jaehwan's thoughts circled around the unfairness of how easily Wonsik's deadly charms always managed to overpower any last ounce of resistance he might possess, make him lose his mind, and surrender every single time he was close, Wonsik used his defenselessness to move in and take everything Jaehwan had no strength or will to deny him.

 

Wonsik's lips softly caressed his own before he started to leisurely pull on Jaehwan's bottom lip with his teeth, seeming to be in no hurry whatsoever to get what he must already know was completely his for the taking. Jaehwan melted against the wall at his back, already surrendering without a single fight, his lips parting almost instantaneously as soon as he felt his dongsaeng's teeth tugging at his flesh.

 

When Wonsik's hot tongue entered his mouth, gliding, licking, and scorching him in a way that made his blood boil and his knees give out, his dongsaeng had to let go of his wrists and grab him at the back of his neck and his waist to keep him from sliding down the wall. After finally burying one hand in his hair while the other snuck around his body and slid down to massage his hole through his pants - making Jaehwan jump and turn hard at the same time - Wonsik pressed his body tightly against his own...erection against erection...and kissed him so deeply and erotically that Jaehwan found himself moaning from Wonsik's multiple attacks on his sanity.

 

          "Say that you want me...," Wonsik whispered in his ear, his hot breath and the tough yet simultaneously desperate sound of his low voice sending shivers down Jaehwan's spine.

 

When Jaehwan didn't respond - it was _one_ thing to be unable to resist yet quite another to actually actively encourage him - Wonsik simply attacked him again, his tongue once again invading his mouth and melting his resistance. And while he didn't try again to get him to say the words he wanted to hear, he also didn't stop making him feel so weak that he had no chance to resist.

 

Jaehwan closed his eyes - keeping them open took more energy than he had left - and found himself being swept away...physically and emotionally...by the one person against whom he seemed to have absolutely no defenses, no matter how hard he tried.

 

Unable to protest, unable to stop him...not wanting to in the first place...Jaehwan experienced everything his dongsaeng did to him as though floating in an endless dream...

 

...Wonsik's hands pulling at his pants and briefs...

...hands spinning him around to face the wall...

...gentle fingers slowly spreading his butt cheeks apart...

...the shocking sensation of the hot and wet tip of his dongsaeng's naughty tongue flicking against the utterly exposed rim of his hole...

...Wonsik's slick tongue invading his hole as he pushed it deep inside him, making him gasp and tighten around the naughty tongue teasing his inner walls...

 

But Wonsik didn't pull out his tongue...didn't stop making him twitch and moan...adding even another attack when he suddenly reached around him from the back and started pumping his erection while continuing to lick him. Jaehwan lost the last grip he'd had on the wall, sliding to the floor right along with Wonsik who still hadn't stopped his torturous treatment even when they both hit the ground.

 

Moaning, panting, and soon whimpering from the intense feeling of Wonsik's hand on his cock and his tongue deep inside his body, Jaehwan writhed around on the floor, his toes curling along with his whole body as he felt himself coming hard and fast from Wonsik's onslaught.

 

Jaehwan was just starting to come down from his intense orgasm when he felt his body gently being lifted into Wonsik's strong arms and carried over to the bed. With every single part of his body feeling as though it were simply too heavy for him to lift, Jaehwan just stayed right where Wonsik had set him down on the bed and kept his eyes tightly shut while Wonsik undressed them both before settling down next to him.

 

The following hours felt as though Jaehwan were suspended in time, in an endless loop of undiluted lust and intoxication of the intensest kind...Wonsik making love to his whole body over and over again...building him up...and making him crash down and shatter into a million pieces again and again...until Jaehwan couldn't hold it in anymore, his eyes spilling from the powerful wave of emotions taking hold of him...his body shaking heavily in Wonsik's arms as he sat on him, riding him, while Wonsik kissed him...caressed him...whispered sweet and naughty words in his ear.

 

          "I love you," Wonsik suddenly said as he slung his arms tightly around Jaehwan's shivering body and hugged him close - his cock deeply buried inside him...his voice soft and trembling with emotion.

 

Jaehwan's very last shred of resistance crumbled...beaten down by Wonsik's words...by the tremor in his voice. Though his whole body had already been _his_ right from the start - not an ounce of resistance against his dongsaeng's charms - a part of Jaehwan's heart had still obstinately clung to his ex despite everything Wonsik had made him feel since he'd set out to overwhelm him. But the moment Wonsik had clung to him so desperately and those unexpected, powerful words had left his lips in a shaky voice, he'd managed to break through Jaehwan's last defenses...his heart suddenly soaring...and an intense feeling of warmth flooding him.

 

And all of a sudden, without even feeling the need to see his ex ever again and find out how he really felt about her, Jaehwan knew it would be utterly useless to meet her. There could be no comparison, he realized...and perhaps he hadn't only just realized it that very moment but had already known or at least suspected it. There could be no comparison between them...

 

...because even if she managed to touch his heart just as deeply as Wonsik had, she could never make him feel the intensity his dongsaeng made him feel...

 

Body and soul, Wonsik owned every last bit of him...his dongsaeng's strong body shattering his sanity as much as his love and tenderness healed him again. No, there was no comparison...and somewhere deep down he'd already known. And perhaps the reason he'd believed he wasn't completely over his ex, had merely come from his subconscious desire...perhaps he'd clawed at the thought and welcomed it as his last chance to free himself from Wonsik's clutches...from a love and desire so strong that it might end up completely ruining him if Wonsik ever decided he'd had enough of him and left him.

 

But as strong as his fear of being consumed was, it couldn't make him deny his true feelings, his true self, any longer. Jaehwan pulled slightly back out of Wonsik's embrace and carefully opened his eyes for the first time since Wonsik had started attacking him that night, feeling his lashes stick slightly to his cheeks from the wetness of the salty tears that still stained his face. Wonsik abruptly seemed a bit taken aback, a look of uncertainty coming into his eyes as Jaehwan's gaze locked onto his.

 

          "I...I love you...too," Jaehwan whispered softly, hoping his gaze managed to convey the depth and intensity of his feelings for him. 

 

Instead of kissing him, smiling, or just coolly pulling him back into his embrace - which Jaehwan expected him to do - Wonsik actually broke down completely, his carefully maintained mask of composure slipping off to expose the raw feelings underneath as his body slumped and he burst into tears. Jaehwan slung his arms around his crying boyfriend's shoulder and kissed and soothed him, their bodies still intimately connected as they cried together in each other's embrace.

 

And amidst shared, hot tears of relief and joy, one thing had finally become unmistakably clear:

 

          Wonsik and Jaehwan had fallen deeply and irreversibly in love with each other. 

 


	56. New Intimacy (Nbin)

Hongbin spent what felt like the hundredth night in a row alone in his room, feeling as though he might just go crazy if things kept continuing the way they were at the moment. Of course, it hadn't been a hundred nights, not even close. But more than a week had already passed without Hongbin being able to be with his boyfriends. Taekwoon and Hakyeon had both been so busy with their musical and drama schedules that Hongbin, who'd finished filming for his drama a while ago, hadn't had many chances to see them. And when he did, they were so tired from their schedules that the three of them hadn't shared _one_ intimate moment, not even a real kiss, for a long time.

 

And though Hongbin wasn't the kind of man to only think with his dick and wasn't someone who couldn't appreciate and enjoy the more innocent moments he spent in their company, it had already been so long since he'd felt their touch that he was getting antsy and more and more impatient. The real problem, though, apart from Hakyeon and Taekwoon being tired from their schedules, was that the three of them never seemed to have an opportunity to meet at the same time whenever there was a slight break from their schedules.

 

Which was why Hongbin soon found himself out of bed and knocking on Hakyeon's door in the middle of the night to finally address the somewhat sensitive issue the three of them had evaded for a while now even though it was high time they discussed it.

 

Hongbin was a bit taken aback when Hakyeon answered the door in nothing but his snuggly fitting briefs, and actually had to avert his gaze while walking past him into the room in order to keep his sanity while they talked.

 

          "What's going on...Why are you here...at this time?" Hakyeon asked while stepping back and putting more distance between them; Hongbin thought he seemed a bit tense judging from his stance and the sound of his voice.

 

          "I...I'm going crazy here...and I think it's time to...to talk about...this relationship," Hongbin said, realizing that he sounded just as tense as Hakyeon looked.

 

          "You mean...," Hakyeon began but suddenly stopped, seeming as if he didn't want to say the wrong thing; Hongbin guessed Hakyeon knew _exactly_ why he was there.

 

          "Yes, that's what I mean...How long are the three of us going to torture ourselves because of our schedules...and why should we only be intimate when all three of us are together? It doesn't make sense to me...and I don't believe that there's any need to be jealous if only two of us are together at a time...I think we're grown up enough not to be like that...I miss being with you, hyung...I miss being with Taekwoon hyung...Why can't I be with one of you when the other is busy...I just...I don't want to spend another night...feeling lonely...It's killing me, hyung."

 

          "Alasseo...Okay...just sit down for a moment...I...I'll call Taekwoon," Hakyeon said, the expression on his face indicating that he actually felt just as lonely as Hongbin did.

 

Hongbin walked over to Hakyeon's bed and plumped himself down as the latter quickly pulled over a bathrobe, grabbed his phone, and left the room to make the phone call. And though he would have liked to listen to their conversation, he also knew that Hakyeon needed some space and privacy as Hongbin's presence would put too much pressure on him while he tried to find out how Taekwoon felt about Hongbin's request.

 

Hoping that things would turn out in his favor, Hongbin undressed and stretched out on the bed before burying his face in Hakyeon's covers, inhaling his hyung's distinctive scent and sighing deeply, the ache in his heart and his body steadily growing as he waited for him to return so that he could - hopefully - take him in his arms and make love to him.

 

Because at that moment, Hongbin's starvation could only be cured by making love to him.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hakyeon hung up the phone and hurried back to his room, impatient to finally take Hongbin in his arms after Taekwoon, who was busy with other schedules at this late hour and probably wouldn't be back before dawn, had given his consent. In fact, Hakyeon had been surprised when Taekwoon had actually admitted having had similar thoughts before yet having lacked the courage to bring them up because he'd thought the others might not feel the same way.

 

Hakyeon walked through the door to find Hongbin's naked body sprawled across his bed, his firm butt and the muscles of his broad back nicely displayed as he gripped Hakyeon's bedsheets and held them to his face. A ripple of excitement ran all the way down Hakyeon's body as he gazed down at him with the knowledge that he didn't have to hold back anymore...that he could finally give in to the intense desire he'd felt the moment his dongsaeng had knocked on his door.

 

Hongbin's head spun around after hearing the sound of the closing door, his gaze immediately seeking Hakyeon's. And though Hakyeon was sure the excitement on his face was answer enough, he silently nodded. Hongbin was up from the bed and hurrying toward him so fast that Hakyeon didn't even have a chance to prepare himself before his dongsaeng's hands untied his bathrobe and pushed it down his shoulders.

 

The very next moment, one of Hongbin's hands grabbed him fiercely by the back of his neck as his dongsaeng's hungry mouth found his own, while his other hand greedily rubbed his still clothed cock, all too quickly making his briefs feel way too tight. Hakyeon heard a moan leave his lips in between kisses, not caring one bit whether other members at the dorm heard their love-making or not. Since quite a while ago - ever since each of the members had gotten a boyfriend - the rule about not having sex at the dorm when others were around had simply gone up in smoke. Ever since then, the members simply tried to ignore the sounds while listening to music or putting in earplugs.

 

          "Aaahh...aaah...oughh...," Hakyeon repeatedly moaned once Hongbin had freed him of his last piece of remaining clothing, knelt down in front of him, and started to give him a blow-job that made Hakyeon's knees shake badly and his eyes roll into the back of his head as he held on to Hongbin's shoulders for dear life.

 

After his dongsaeng finally finished reducing him to a needy heap that ended up on the floor with Hongbin's mouth still attached to his thickening cock, draining him of every last drop of come, Hongbin then lifted him up into his arms, carried him over to the bed, and continued to have his way with him.

 

Hongbin's skilled fingers inside his body were already once again robbing Hakyeon of his senses when the former suddenly asked him to prepare himself for something new, saying he'd spent so much time alone lately that he'd used it to further educate himself. Hakyeon was both intrigued - and turned on - and feeling apprehensive as fuck, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to be preparing himself for. Nevertheless, he did as Hongbin asked and turned onto his front, sticking his exposed ass high into the air while leaning on his forearms.

 

A few minutes of already heightened moaning later, he'd already stopped counting the fingers torturing his insides - but he believed there were four of them - when he heard Hongbin once again opening the container of lube and squirt some more on his hand. The very next moment, Hakyeon found himself at a loss to identify the object gently pushing against the rim of his already stretched hole...something that definitely seemed too large to fit, in Hakyeon's opinion.

 

But Hongbin unerringly continued until he proved him wrong...and Hakyeon finally came to realize just _what_ his dongsaeng had penetrated him with as he felt Hongbin's fingers once again tease his insides in addition to the large object shoved into his hole. Hakyeon couldn't believe he was actually being fisted by his dongsaeng, never having thought the younger would try out new things like this as it actually involved burying half of his forearm in Hakyeon's hole.

 

Before Hakyeon could form further thoughts, however, Hongbin started to make him go absolutely crazy with the intense feeling of his arm reaching further into his entrance while his fingers reached for and massaged his prostate.

 

          "Fuck...fuck....aaahhh...what...are you...oughh...doing...to me...aaaaahhh," Hakyeon whispered between loud and desperate moans...his dongsaeng definitely killing him with this new sexual adventure.

 

Before Hakyeon could lose his consciousness on top of his mind, Hongbin finally had mercy on him and pulled his arm and fist back out, making Hakyeon whimper as he did so. Then he gently lifted him up and sat him on his erection, burying his extremely hard and ready cock deep inside Hakyeon's body, both of them sighing from the depth and intensity of the connection.

 

After starting out slowly, their bodies working in unison as Hakyeon rode him, their lips and tongues connecting just as intensely as their lower bodies, they finally picked up the pace...their movements turning desperate...their hands clutching at each other...their kisses more and more hungry...their breathing labored...their moans louder and louder...

 

At long last, Hakyeon couldn't take it anymore, his body convulsing as the second and much intenser orgasm of that night crashed over him, making him tighten around his dongsaeng's cock and dig his nails into his back as he tried to hold on. Even while Hakyeon was still coming down from his orgasm, Hongbin's body shuddered as he neared his own release.

 

          "Aaaahh...ougghhh...fuuuck...nooo...aarghhh," Hakyeon couldn't help the sounds and words escaping his lips, his moans turning to whimpers as Hongbin's hand closed around his erection, continuously pumping his cock even though he'd already come, as though trying to see how much more would come out until he was completely milked of everything he had.

 

Just as Hakyeon thought he couldn't take it anymore, Hongbin's movements finally stopped as his own orgasm took complete control of him, making him unable to do anything but grab Hakyeon's body for support.

 

Long after the two of them had come...when they should have already been fast asleep...Hakyeon and Hongbin were still awake in each other's arms, snuggling and kissing, feeling each other's heartbeats and enjoying the warmth and new kind of intimacy they'd just shared...an intimacy Hakyeon knew could only be created between two people, since there were different dynamics involved in a threesome and it was difficult to get so close to just one person when three of them were involved at the same time.

 

This new sense of intimacy was something Hakyeon suddenly found he'd been missing and something he looked forward to sharing with Taekwoon, as well, as soon as he got the chance...and something he also knew would develop between Hongbin and Taekwoon when they slept together without him.

 

But instead of feeling jealous - as he'd half expected to feel even if he didn't want to - a sense of calm and warmth came over him knowing that all three of them would develop even deeper feelings for each other...feelings that would also make them grow that much closer when all of them were together and made love to each other. Instead of creating jealousy, Hakyeon found it was something to be grateful for.

 

Suddenly needing to convey his emotions...the soaring feeling in his heart...Hakyeon affectionately nuzzled Hongbin's neck and whispered the words he felt would have burned him if he didn't release them that very second.

 

          "I love you."


	57. Pressure

Taekwoon leaned his head back against his seat's headrest, closed his eyes, and sighed. After an extremely long and arduous schedule, he was finally being driven back to the dorm in one of the company's cars. The dark shadows swallowing the streets outside the vehicle's windows were slowly vanishing before his eyes, and the first rays of sunlight had already started to peek over the horizon by the time Taekwoon finally pulled his exhausted body from the car and headed to Vixx's dorm.

 

He made it all the way to the bathroom and into the shower without giving in to the overwhelming urge he felt to stop by Hakyeon's room and sneak a peek at his boyfriends. And while he was curious as fuck to see how the two of them seemed after having had sex without him, he also felt slightly apprehensive about finding out. Because even though he was all for this new development between them, he couldn't help but feel a bit insecure at the same time, not knowing what the other two might be thinking or how they might be feeling after a night without him.

 

          _Did they perhaps have more fun? Was it nicer...more intense?_

 

Knowing perfectly well that he had no choice but to wait and see them after he'd slept for a few hours as he was in no condition to even think straight at the moment from tiredness, Taekwoon quickly dried himself off and slid underneath his bed covers. And though his thoughts had been a mess ever since he'd made it back to the dorm, the extreme exhaustion he felt had him falling asleep in under a minute.

 

Five and a half hours later, Taekwoon dragged his still sleep-ridden body to the kitchen, the hunger he'd felt even in his sleep - which had actually made him dream about stuffing his face with several dishes of his favorite food - driving him out of bed even though he could have slept for several hours more. Not having expected anyone to be at the dorms as everyone had their schedules to attend - and temporarily forgetting that Hongbin's drama had already ended and he didn't have any other schedules - Taekwoon was a bit surprised to find Hongbin seated at the table enjoying a bowl of ramen he seemed to have cooked himself for lunch.

 

          "Ah...err...hey," Taekwoon greeted him a bit awkwardly from the kitchen entrance, where his steps had immediately come to a halt after he'd seen Hongbin.

 

Hongbin tilted his head slightly to the side and regarded him for a long moment before responding, seeming surprised at Taekwoon's obvious awkwardness and hesitation.

 

          "Is a 'hey' all I get?" Hongbin finally said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Though his smile was probably meant to show amusement, Taekwoon couldn't help but notice the slight tremble to Hongbin's lips or the infinitesimal expression of uncertainty that flitted across his face for a split second before he was able to hide it.

 

So, Taekwoon thought, it looked as though Hongbin wasn't feeling quite as calm and unaffected by his presence after spending a night alone with Hakyeon as he wanted to appear. Feeling slightly better and once again more confident after having gotten a glimpse at Hongbin's concealed vulnerability, Taekwoon decided to become bolder...and forthrightly claim what was _his_ to claim as one of Hongbin's boyfriends.

 

No longer hesitating, Taekwoon walked up to the table, plunked himself down on the chair right next to Hongbin, and started to seduce his dongsaeng, who didn't have the ghost of a chance to prepare himself for his hyung's attack. Without warning, Taekwoon grabbed Hongbin's chair and scooted it toward his own until the two of them were as close as they could possibly get, Taekwoon's knee resting right between Hongbin's legs, slightly touching his crotch.

 

Hongbin swallowed hard - his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down deliciously - as Taekwoon pinned him with one of his most intense stares. Not moving a muscle, Hongbin merely sat frozen, seeming both excited and intimidated by the fire in Taekwoon's eyes. Highly elated by Hongbin's immobility, Taekwoon smirked as he lifted his thumb to Hongbin's lower lip and pulled it down, slowly parting his dongsaeng's lips, his thumb slightly extending into his mouth.

 

          "That's right...open up for me," Taekwoon said in a husky voice, fully aware and amused by Hongbin's expression, knowing his dongsaeng must be thinking he was up to something very naughty by having him open his mouth for him.

 

Grinning naughtily and fully enjoying himself, Taekwoon instead picked up the chopsticks Hongbin had dropped when Taekwoon had pulled his chair closer and placed his knee between his legs, and used them to pick up some ramen. After feeding Hongbin a mouth full of noodles, which were so long that they were dangling from his dongsaeng's mouth, Taekwoon quickly sucked in the ends of the noodles and started following the path straight to Hongbin's connected lips, kissing him gently yet seductively after biting off the strands at his end.

 

          "The way...you're...seducing me...right now...should be...illegal," Hongbin whispered breathlessly against Taekwoon's mouth after swallowing his own ramen, the words only coming out in between pauses as Taekwoon continued nibbling on Hongbin's lips even as the younger tried to speak.

 

          "Glad you feel that way," Taekwoon responded in a husky voice while his hand carefully put down the chopsticks to take charge of something else...something very hard...and steadily growing.

 

Hongbin's mouth opened wider beneath Taekwoon's, a soft moan escaping him just as Taekwoon slid his tongue into his mouth to hungrily claim even more of his dongsaeng while his hand continuously ground against Hongbin's erection.

 

          "I want you...right now," Taekwoon demanded urgently, all thoughts of the hunger that had brought him to the kitchen in the first place driven out by a much intenser appetite of a very different nature.

 

          "Wha...?...You mean... _now_... _here_?" Hongbin actually squeaked in response while trying to back away from him, obviously not comfortable with the thought of partaking in sexual activities in the kitchen that was jointly used by all the members.

 

But Taekwoon, utterly fired up in his state of arousal and already anticipating Hongbin's reaction, was ready the moment Hongbin tried to escape his clutches and determinedly held him in place with his strong fingers tightly wrapped around his dongsaeng's wrists.

 

          "Please...," Hongbin pleaded with him, "...not _here_...it isn't...isn't right."

 

And though Taekwoon knew it wasn't fair to Hongbin to even say the following words and emotionally pressure him, he found himself utterly unable to keep his tongue from spilling the thoughts he knew he shouldn't have in the first place but couldn't seem to keep from having no matter how hard he tried.

 

          "Would you have said the same to _Hakyeon_  if he wanted to take you here?"

 

 


	58. Intense (Leobin)

Hongbin sat frozen opposite his hyung, Taekwoon's shocking words rendering him immobile and unable to even answer his question.

 

And what kind of a screwed up question was that anyway? How could he possibly ask him that?!

 

After all the intimate moments they'd shared, after the moments they'd also spent getting closer to each other right at the beginning of their relationship - when Hakyeon had left the hotel bedroom and withdrawn to the bathroom to let the two of them be intimate without him - Taekwoon's implication that his feelings for Hakyeon were deeper than what he felt for Taekwoon felt like a slap in the face. Especially since Hakyeon had explicitly asked him for his permission before Hongbin and he had spent the night together.

 

At that moment, Hongbin wanted to slap him...wanted to ask him with what _right_ he was asking him if he would have treated Hakyeon differently. It was more than obvious that jealousy had driven him to say the words he had no right to say; because he shouldn't have agreed to let Hongbin and Hakyeon spend the night together without him if he was going to turn right around and rub it in their faces!

 

But even before Hongbin's anger could get the better of him and result in him doing or saying something he might regret, Taekwoon suddenly backtracked and apologized.

 

          "Sorry, Hongbin-ah...," Taekwoon said, emphasizing his words by holding his hands up in front of him as a sign of backing off, "...I know I...shouldn't have said that."

 

          "No, you shouldn't have...You have no right...you agreed," Hongbin said, his face still showing his irritation, though his anger had already started to melt away the second Taekwoon's apologetic and insecure gaze had met his own.

 

Because even though Taekwoon's words had been hurtful, he could also understand where they were coming from. Taekwoon might have agreed to the change in their three-way relationship thinking it would be no big deal, but it seemed he was having problems coping with the aftermath of that decision now that the deed had actually been done. And Hongbin couldn't help but wonder if he would feel the same way after Taekwoon and Hakyeon slept together without him.

 

So, because he couldn't really blame him...and because the glint of insecurity in Taekwoon's gaze was making Hongbin feel soft toward him again, he didn't have any other choice but to try to understand and comfort him instead. Deciding that it was more important to make Taekwoon feel confident about their relationship again and give him what he seemed to desperately need at that moment, Hongbin simply gave in. 

 

Taekwoon seemed to immediately feel the change in Hongbin, capturing his lips again as soon as his resistance melted. While Taekwoon's tongue delved deep into Hongbin's mouth, exploring every inch of his cavern and tongue, his hands snuck beneath Hongbin's legs, grabbed his ass, and lifted him right out of his chair and onto the kitchen table. As Hongbin was struggling to keep his balance, one of his arms swung behind him and knocked the bowl of ramen straight off the table and onto the floor, where it shattered into pieces while spilling noodles and broth all over the kitchen tiles.

 

Not letting anything take his mind off of what he was doing, Taekwoon didn't even react to the ramen hitting the floor and simply kept kissing him. Hongbin was still trying to keep up with Taekwoon's passionate kisses when his hyung suddenly started frantically ripping his clothing off of him, several of Hongbin's shirt buttons abruptly sailing through the air and scattering due to Taekwoon's forceful movements.

 

The next pieces of clothing to follow the mistreated shirt on the kitchen floor were Hongbin's jeans and socks, suddenly leaving him utterly exposed except for his crotch area, which was in real danger of being uncovered as well due to the extreme tenting of his briefs. Instead of removing his underwear, Taekwoon grabbed a hand full of Hongbin's hard cock through the fabric and started rubbing it, the friction of the cloth against his already leaking slit making delicious shivers run down his spine and soft moans escape his throat.

 

          "Harder...," Hongbin heard himself beg, his request immediately complied with by Taekwoon, who pushed Hongbin's upper body further down onto the table until he was lying with his back flat against the hard, wooden surface.

 

Right after, Taekwoon started rubbing Hongbin's clothed cock harder and faster, making Hongbin writhe and moan underneath him. Hongbin's eyes were closed and his head was slightly thrown back as Taekwoon pleasured him, which was why he completely missed the moment when his hyung decided to try something else. Hongbin's eyes fluttered open for a second before slamming shut again the very next when Taekwoon lifted his bottom off the table, pulled his crotch right up to his face, and started running the sharp edges of his teeth across his clothed, already throbbing cock, the sensation extremely arousing even through the fabric.

 

Hongbin felt he might just explode that very second if Taekwoon didn't let up; luckily his silent prayers were answered when his hyung decided to stop stroking him and finally take him instead. After quickly removing Hongbin's already slightly soiled briefs and pulling down his own pants, Taekwoon walked over to the kitchen counter and retrieved a bottle of olive oil and something very thick and very long that had Hongbin's heart suddenly beating frantically against his chest.

 

          "And just what exactly are you going to do with _that_?" Hongbin asked a bit nervously as he eyed the huge specimen of a cucumber Taekwoon had brought back to the table; on top of being almost double the thickness of his hyung's cock, the thing was also incredibly long.

 

          "First, I'm going to take you...," Taekwoon replied in a seductive tone of voice while slicking his fingers and his cock up with olive oil. "...and then I'm going to fuck you with _this_ ," he added while pouring an ample amount of oil on the cucumber right in front of Hongbin's eyes, which had already grown to the size of saucers.

 

Contrary to his two hyungs, Hongbin hadn't yet had the experience of being fucked by two dicks at the same time. So, being presented with a cucumber that large was making him slightly apprehensive. But before he could say anything or think of a way to dissuade an extremely enthusiastic Taekwoon, his hyung had already started pushing his slick fingers into Hongbin's entrance, making him unable to utter his concerns or even think clearly at all, for that matter.

 

After torturing him with his slippery fingers...sliding, pulling, pushing, prodding, forcing his hole open wider and wider, and finally taking him completely - fucking him hard and deep until he spilled into him at long last - Taekwoon proceeded to pleasure him with the cucumber.

 

Hongbin's neck was beginning to get sore from being overstretched to such an extent that his Adam's Apple protruded further than it ever had as Taekwoon continuously slid the huge, slick cucumber into his entrance, pushing the already much too long vegetable so far into his hole that it massaged his prostate with every tiny movement and twist of Taekwoon's wrist. Writhing, panting, moaning, and finally sobbing as Taekwoon picked up his pace and fucked him furiously fast and deep with the overlong cucumber, Hongbin was finally sent over the edge. Right before his orgasm slammed into him, Taekwoon's mouth swooped down to capture his cock and take every last drop of his come before it could soil the table.

 

Hongbin was unable to move even an inch, feeling utterly boneless and completely wrecked by Taekwoon. Panting heavily, his body still coming down from his orgasm, Hongbin suddenly felt himself being picked up and hoisted into his hyung's arms.

 

          "I hope you haven't made any plans for today," Taekwoon said, mischievously grinning down at him as he carried him out of the kitchen and straight toward his room, the cucumber tightly gripped in one of his hands.

 

          "Why?" Hongbin asked carefully, although he thought he already knew the answer.

 

          "Because you're all mine right now...and I'm going to be bothering you all day...and all night long...So you better prepare yourself," Taekwoon whispered into his ear before shoving his tongue in right afterward, making Hongbin's cock twitch and his body shiver like crazy.

 

Not quite sure how in hell he was going to survive the extreme intensity that was Jung Taekwoon, but knowing he would end up enjoying the crap out of every single thing this man did to him, Hongbin let himself be swept away in his hyung's arms.


	59. The Note

Hakyeon leaned back in his folding chair at the filming site and took a large sip of water before carefully setting the bottle back down on the ground. After stretching his aching muscles, he shifted his weight slightly and pulled out the small note that Taekwoon had left on his pillow that morning while he'd been in the shower from the back pocket of his jeans.

 

          _Tonight. My room. No excuses!_

 

It had been a few days now that Hakyeon had come home from his schedule late at night to find Taekwoon and Hongbin going at it like rabbits. Not that he'd actually _seen_ them, though - not daring to open the door to Taekwoon's room for fear of getting extremely jealous upon watching them, something he was trying his hardest to avoid.

 

So he'd merely listened to Hongbin's desperate moans for a little while - honestly, it had sounded as if Taekwoon was torturing him, albeit in a good way! - and had gone back to his own room to take care of the boner that eavesdropping on the two of them through the door had given him.

 

The following morning, just as he'd been heading out the door on his way to his next schedule, Hakyeon had gotten a short glimpse of Hongbin awkwardly limping down the dorm hallway, and had needed to contain his imagination of what Taekwoon had done to his dongsaeng the entire night before he sported another boner right before going to work.

 

And though he still didn't know the particulars and didn't have time to indulge in fantasies about what exactly could have gone on between those two, one thing seemed perfectly clear:

 

          True to his stage name _Leo_ , Taekwoon seemed to have been a particularly ferocious animal that night...and poor Hongbin had fallen prey to his enormous appetite!

 

Thinking back to Hongbin's wild moaning that night and to the way he'd been unable to walk properly the following morning, and gazing at the extremely dictatorial words on the note he was gripping in his hands, Hakyeon couldn't stop the shiver that suddenly ran down his spine, his lover's message making him feel nervous.

 

Taekwoon was summoning him to his room knowing that Hakyeon didn't have a schedule the next day. And even though Hakyeon had immediately thought along the same lines after seeing that he had a day off - a natural thought, as the two of them hadn't had their intimate time alone together yet - the way in which Taekwoon was _demanding_ instead of asking was making Hakyeon feel not only apprehensive but slightly ticked off as well.

 

His complete sexual dominance over Hongbin from the other night seemed to have gotten to Taekwoon's head, making him think he could domineer over Hakyeon as well. But if he truly believed that, he had another thing coming!

 

          Because Hakyeon was _not_ someone Taekwoon could treat lightly.

 

For as long as Hakyeon could remember, he'd not only been the one to help and reassure Taekwoon on countless occasions and slowly draw him out of his shell, he'd also been the one - more often than not the _only_ one - to stop Taekwoon when his slightly aggressive side surfaced and threatened to take over. In those moments, Hakyeon tended to be Dr. Jekyll to Taekwoon's Mr. Hyde, intervening in time to pull him right back from the abyss. Because although Taekwoon was generally shy and as gentle as a lamb, he tended to forget his surroundings and go a bit overboard when triggered. Whenever this happened, it was Hakyeon who managed to stop him in his tracks, most of the time with nothing more than a pointed look.

 

          Because the bottom line was: Hakyeon was the _leader_.

 

Even when he didn't play the leader card at times because he wanted to maintain a good relationship with the other members...

And even when the other members teased him and showed little respect for him as their leader in front of the camera...

 

At the end of the day, whether the other members openly showed and admitted it or not, Hakyeon's word was law, and they always ended up following his wishes in the end, no matter how strongly they'd opposed him before. That's how it always went. But it seemed Taekwoon had momentarily forgotten.

 

          _It's okay,_ Hakyeon thought, taking a deep breath while once again pocketing the piece of paper containing Taekwoon's bossy words,  _I'll just have to remind him!_

 


	60. Fired Up (Neo)

Taekwoon found himself pacing from one side of his room to the other, his patience slowly running out with every passing minute and the continued absence of Hakyeon, who still hadn't shown up even though his schedule must have already ended two hours ago. Although Taekwoon had already known there was a real possibility that Hakyeon might feel slightly offended by the manner in which Taekwoon had demanded that he see him that night and might try to get back at him by making him wait, he'd still expected him to be there much earlier.

 

          Then again, perhaps he wasn't going to show up at all...

 

Taekwoon stopped pacing, ran his hand through his hair in irritation, and grabbed his phone from where he'd left it next to the bottle of lube he'd placed on his night table earlier.

 

          _How dare he not show up,_ Taekwoon thought, exasperated, setting the phone right back down again as the notion hit him that he shouldn't give in and show him just how desperately he was waiting for him.

 

Well, he realized a few minutes later after managing to calm down a bit, he couldn't really blame him for not rushing straight to his room post-schedule after reading his message, as he had to admit that he could have asked him in a nicer, less dictatorial way. But at the time he'd sat down and written that note, he'd felt so frustrated about not being able to see him that he just hadn't been able to come up with the right words...he simply hadn't been able to be polite about asking him to his room.

 

It had been such a long time since he'd held Hakyeon in his arms or even so much as _talked_ to him. Meanwhile, the relationship between the three of them was gradually changing, and he couldn't help but feel insecure about the fact that Hakyeon hadn't been with him after having had sex with Hongbin. On top of that, he was missing him terribly. And he couldn't help but feel that if Hakyeon really wanted to see him, he'd somehow find the time...or  _make_ the time. With that kind of mindset, the not so polite words on the note had virtually written themselves before he'd realized what he'd jotted down.

 

And as much as he understood that he actually deserved to be kept waiting for not having chosen better words - words that conveyed just how much he missed him...how much he needed to be with him - Taekwoon's patience was nonetheless running out once again, and he found himself turning more and more ill-tempered from being stood up by the _one_ person he was itching to finally get his hands on again...the one he hadn't had a chance to be with yet after that person had slept with someone else...

 

So, by the time the door to his room was slowly pushed open yet another hour later to reveal Hakyeon standing on the other side of the entrance in what seemed to be a much too laid-back manner considering how long he'd kept Taekwoon on tenterhooks before he finally came by, Taekwoon simply couldn't control his temper or boil down his hot-bloodedness.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Before Hakyeon even knew what hit him, he found himself being pulled into the room by one of Taekwoon's strong arms, the latter's hand tightly fisting in the front of his shirt...the veins in his muscular forearm displayed prominently as he used his impressive strength on him. After maneuvering him into the room and closing and locking the door behind them, Taekwoon pushed him right up against the wall next to the door and pinned his arms above his head. Taekwoon's breathing was heavy and labored as he towered over Hakyeon and fixed him with a stare that would have made even a much stronger man weak in the knees.

 

This was another one of those moments when Hakyeon was suddenly reminded of the fact that Taekwoon had many different faces. Being accustomed to mainly dealing with the persona he embodied as a member of the group and oftentimes seeing the shy side of him when he publicly hit the floor or showed the crown of his head in embarrassment, Hakyeon somehow tended to forget the sides of him he didn't get to see very often...tended to forget that Taekwoon was also very powerful, skilled at Taekwondo, and that he'd boxed for seven and a half years. But in moments such as this, when he was suddenly the target of that concentrated power and could feel his body starting to shake from being fixed with his even more powerful stare, Hakyeon remembered _who exactly_ he was dealing with.

 

And at such a moment, he could only wish for the shy or embarrassed Taekwoon to appear. Because the power he'd thought he'd have over him...the power he'd banked on from being the leader and all and having the last word, was suddenly _nothing_  in comparison to Taekwoon's fired up state. Hakyeon wasn't able to hold a candle to him.

 

Trying nonetheless to turn things around and get the upper hand, Hakyeon started to tell him off - which would usually result in Taekwoon seeing reason and backing down. But the words passing his lips disappeared the moment they surfaced, stolen by Taekwoon's mouth as he hungrily crushed Hakyeon's lips with his own and started to kiss the crap out of him.

 

 


	61. Rough Treatment (Neo)

Taekwoon's heart was beating wildly as he passionately claimed Hakyeon's lips...Hakyeon's mouth...Hakyeon's tongue..., the loud pounding in his ears drowning out everything around him except for the incredible feeling of kissing him.

 

The soft skin of Hakyeon's wrists burned beneath his own flesh as he continued to grip them tightly and hold them in place against the wall, the force with which he pinned them probably creating bruises and scrapes on Hakyeon's flesh, he realized somewhere in the back of his mind. But the thought vanished again before it could fully reach his consciousness, as his mind was occupied with only one thing.

 

          This was what he'd starved for...what he'd been craving.

 

Without even realizing what he was doing, completely lost in the moment and the sudden need to devour him and feel his lover's naked skin...Taekwoon started to tear at Hakyeon's clothing in a much rougher way than he needed to while at the same time kissing him even harder - until he ended up biting Hakyeon's lip and actually drawing blood. He'd felt so desperate to get him into bed that he hadn't thought about the possibility that his actions could be too violent.

 

But the sudden feeling of Hakyeon's hands timidly grabbing Taekwoon's shirt on either side of his waist finally stopped him in his tracks.

 

It was then that he realized he'd gone too far. Since he knew Hakyeon extremely well, he could immediately tell that the latter wasn't grabbing his shirt for support or to undress him, but that it was a silent call for attention...a plea to make him stop because he felt intimidated - a term not normally found in Cha Hakyeon's vocabulary.

 

Suddenly shocked at his own behavior, Taekwoon immediately backed off. It was one thing to be a bit rough during sex upon having agreed on it beforehand and quite another to rush at him like that out of the blue and without giving him the slightest chance to adjust first.

 

          "I'm sorry," he apologized after pulling back and giving Hakyeon some space, "I shouldn't have...charged...at you like that...and I think I even...bit you."

 

          "If I'd...known...you'd come on...that strongly...I would have...prepared myself...first," Hakyeon managed shakily, pausing between words as he tried to catch his breath.

 

          "Sorry," Taekwoon apologized once again, not knowing what else to do to make up for his mistake.

 

Because although he really wanted to take Hakyeon back in his arms, hold him, and be gentler this time around, he suddenly found himself hesitating, feeling unsure of whether or not Hakyeon would welcome his nearness after what had just happened. After he watched him tentatively touch the tip of his finger to the glistening blood on his wounded lower lip, Taekwoon took another step back away from him.

 

          He couldn't believe he'd been that rough...couldn't believe he'd actually bitten him!

 

Taekwoon was about to take yet another step back when Hakyeon's fingers suddenly closed around his wrist and stopped him mid-movement.

 

          "You know...I came to your room tonight actually thinking that I...should teach you a lesson as the leader...a lesson about who has...more power. That I should remind you that you can't just boss me around and do whatever you like..." Hakyeon said in a pensive tone of voice, pausing slightly before continuing, obviously trying to find the right words, "...but I just realized...that the very thought was wrong...that I don't need to have more power over you...that it's not about who has the upper hand...Because although you started out having all the power over me, being rather rough and...and hurting me...the very moment you felt my insecurity...you immediately stopped and backed away...So, in the end, it doesn't even matter who has more power at any given moment...what matters is that we know each other so well...so intimately...that we know each other's boundaries. So, I won't feel intimidated anymore...because...because I know I can trust you."

 

          "How can you say you trust me after what I just did...after hurting you?" Taekwoon argued, still feeling ashamed of himself and once again trying to back further away, even though Hakyeon had started to pull Taekwoon toward him.

 

          "Because you stopped the very second I asked you to without my even having to use words," Hakyeon replied while gently tugging on Taekwoon's arm once more to pull him closer again, "So, I trust you to stop when I need you to...and I'll even let you be rough...As long as I'm prepared for it, I don't mind...In return, you'll let me do the same to you."

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hakyeon silently watched Taekwoon take in the words he'd just spoken, the look in the latter's eyes gradually changing from uncertainty to determination a second before he nodded and strode right toward him once again, this time giving him ample time to prepare himself. Because it was evident from the glint in Taekwoon's eyes that he was, indeed, going to continue being a bit rough.

 

But Hakyeon was okay with it. He'd meant what he'd said; he didn't have a problem with it as long as he was given a chance to prepare himself for it. And while he'd felt quite a bit shocked at first when Taekwoon had bitten his lip and drawn blood, he'd also strangely found that it turned him on in equal measure. It was another one of those things he'd never guessed he would like because he'd never before gotten to experience it.

 

Now that he'd felt the intense arousal that had accompanied the pain, Hakyeon actually found himself looking forward to the things Taekwoon might do to him...And he was also looking forward to the things he would do to him in return. Because, just like he'd told Taekwoon, this wasn't going to be something he alone would experience. He was going to do the same things to Taekwoon as well. The two of them were going to tumble down that rabbit hole together and find out what exactly waited for them on the other side.

 

          It was simply a matter of who started first. Because at the end of their intimate night together, both of them would find themselves a bit worse for wear...    

 


	62. Killing Him Softly (Neo)

Hakyeon gave up every last ounce of control and let Taekwoon take over completely. Knowing that he'd have his chance to turn the tables later on, he didn't have any problem submitting to his dongsaeng.

 

After they'd agreed on being a bit rough to each other, Taekwoon had immediately pushed him up against the wall again and resumed ravishing his mouth with his insatiable tongue. Hakyeon's body started to shiver from the feeling of power Taekwoon exuded...from the sensation of his hot tongue invading his mouth...from the large, strong hands impatiently running across his sensitive flesh.

 

After cupping and rubbing Hakyeon's erection through his pants with one hand while playing with one of his nipples through the relatively thin fabric of his shirt with the other at the same time, Taekwoon proceeded with pinning Hakyeon's wrists above his head before aggressively grinding his boner against Hakyeon's own.

 

Despite not wanting to make any sounds - though it wouldn't really be a problem, he still didn't need every single person at the dorm to find out what they were doing right then - Hakyeon simply couldn't keep the moans from leaving his throat as Taekwoon ground against him with a fierce urgency.

 

By the time Taekwoon finally picked him up and carried him over to the bed, Hakyeon was a hot mess. Several drops of sweat beaded on his forehead and slowly trickled down his heated face after Taekwoon none too gently turned him over onto his front, reached around his waist from behind, unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled them down right along with his briefs - only pulling his jeans and underwear down far enough to uncover his crotch and buttocks and successfully hinder the movement of his legs.

 

Another shiver ran down Hakyeon's spine as he lay beneath Taekwoon with his cock and his backside completely exposed and at his dongsaeng's mercy. And though he hadn't even thought about stopping Taekwoon from what he was about to do, Hakyeon suddenly felt his wrists being brought together at his back right before some kind of fabric was securely tied around them, leaving Hakyeon even more helpless than he'd been with his bare backside propped up right in front of his dongsaeng and his head sinking into the pillow underneath as he couldn't use his hands any longer to support his weight.

 

Before he could even fully anticipate what Taekwoon would do next, the latter had already grabbed the lube, slicked his fingers, and pushed three of them into Hakyeon's tight hole in one quick movement, making him groan from the pain and pleasure and making his ass clamp tightly around Taekwoon's naughty fingers.

 

          "Ah...I can see you really wanted this, didn't you," Taekwoon suddenly whispered into his ear, the tight muscles of his chest pressing into Hakyeon's back from behind through both of their shirts as he stretched out on top of him with his fingers still firmly planted in Hakyeon's hole.

 

          "Tell me how much you want me to fuck you with my fingers right now," Taekwoon went on, completely surprising Hakyeon, who wasn't used to him talking dirty - it was a rather rare occurrence when he talked at all!

 

When Hakyeon failed to answer immediately - he was simply too baffled - Taekwoon pulled all three fingers out nearly all the way...and thrust them back inside as fast and as far as he could the very next moment, making a high-pitched scream that could almost rival Hyuk's at his finest moment escape Hakyeon's lips before he could stop himself.

 

          "Tell me...," Taekwoon pressed on, "...tell me to fuck you with my fingers."

 

          "F-fuck me...," Hakyeon finally managed in a somewhat shaky breath, his body trembling and his hole once again clenching Taekwoon's fingers tightly.

 

          "Good boy," Taekwoon teased him before starting to fuck him even harder and deeper with his strong and incredibly long fingers.

 

          "Aaaa-aaa-aa...ough...aargghh...aaaa-aah," Hakyeon's moans were as erratic as his breathing as Taekwoon plunged his fingers into him with all he had, making Hakyeon's insides cry out in pain while making him feel even more pleasure than he thought would be possible considering the strength with which Taekwoon's fingers were invading his sensitive body.

 

Just when Hakyeon thought he couldn't take any more, Taekwoon slowed down his pace while his free hand attacked other parts of his body, his fingers sneaking around Hakyeon's torso to unbutton his shirt and stroke and pinch one of his nipples while his fingers glided in and out of his hole torturously slowly, making Hakyeon whimper and squirm beneath him.

 

          "Please...," Hakyeon could hear himself beg, hating the needy quality to his voice; at the same time, he felt he had no choice but to beg him because he didn't think he could take it for much longer, already feeling like he was about to explode.

 

          "Please... _what_?" Taekwoon whispered in a low voice, asking for Hakyeon's answer though he already knew exactly what he wanted...and _needed_.

 

          "Please...aaaah...take me...now...ough...I can't...aarggh...any longer," Hakyeon whispered, repeatedly gasping for breath in between words as Taekwoon continued to mercilessly thrust his fingers into his hole every chance he got.

 

Taekwoon finally seemed to take pity on him, pulled out his fingers, and started to undress at Hakyeon's back. When he'd taken all of his clothing off, Hakyeon waited for him to finish undressing him as well, since his jeans were still bunched around his legs, making it impossible for him to move them at all.

 

But it seemed Taekwoon had no intention whatsoever of doing so; because the very next moment his dongsaeng was already putting lube on his erection and lining the tip of his cock up with Hakyeon's hole. Though he already knew what to expect and had started to mentally prepare himself for the intensity of Taekwoon's thrusts, it still came as a bit of a shock to Hakyeon when his dongsaeng's long, thick, and hard cock finally thrust into him with utter abandon.

 

The loud and desperate moans leaving Hakyeon's mouth were swallowed by the pillow beneath his face as Taekwoon did good on his promise of being rough, giving Hakyeon every last bit of strength he possessed as he continuously pounded into him, the pain and pleasure heightened by the fact that Hakyeon's legs were bound together by his jeans, making his tight hole clench around Taekwoon's cock even harder. When Taekwoon finally started fucking him even harder and deeper at just the right angle to hit his sweet spot every time while additionally smacking both of his buttocks hard with the palms of his large hands to make his hole further tighten around his cock, Hakyeon couldn't take any more.

 

With his whole body trembling and shivering from the strength of his orgasm, Hakyeon was finally driven over the edge, coming hard and fast while soiling the bedsheets underneath him with his come - Taekwoon still fucking into him hard and deep the entire time while Hakyeon's moans turned into helpless whimpers due to the neverending overstimulation after he'd already come so hard.

 

Upon hearing the few whimpers that managed to make it past the stifling pillow, Taekwoon throttled his furious pace but continued fucking into him slowly and deeply while almost lying flat on top of his back, thus increasing the feeling of deepness until both of them moaned breathlessly from the intensity of the angle.

 

Though Hakyeon could already sense the moment Taekwoon neared his own release, he was once again surprised by his dongsaeng's rough actions as Taekwoon's teeth suddenly sank into his shoulder blade at the moment of his orgasm. Instead of feeling pain, however, Hakyeon was filled with a deep sense of satisfaction. He'd evidently managed to make Taekwoon go so crazy over him that the latter was coming completely out of his shell, doing things and showing a side of himself he'd never let anyone see before.

 

And the fact that he was openly showing this ferocious, rather sexually aggressive side of himself without holding anything back, meant that he truly trusted Hakyeon...trusted him enough to do things others might judge him harshly for.

 

Suddenly moved by the realization of just how deep this trust seemed to be - although an outsider to their complicated relationship might think Hakyeon was crazy after witnessing how violent Taekwoon had been during sex - Hakyeon decided that he wasn't going to show Taekwoon the same kind of treatment after all. Instead of wanting to experience for himself what being rough to Taekwoon during sex would feel like - something he didn't need and didn't get off on as much as Taekwoon seemed to do - Hakyeon decided to show his dongsaeng the same kind of trust and simply show his true self.

 

In Hakyeon's case, instead of being powerful, dominant, or appearing to be cool and unaffected, showing all of himself without holding anything back meant to be gentle, warm, emotional, and _seriously_ clingy.

 

Completely surprising Taekwoon after the latter had unbound his wrists and helped him take the rest of his clothing off, Hakyeon proceeded with tying Taekwoon's hands together only to slowly kill him with soft kisses and gentle caresses, loving him slowly and tenderly all over his body...finally taking him into his mouth and sucking and licking him so delicately while entering and teasing him with his nimble fingers that Taekwoon was soon whimpering even more desperately and breathlessly than Hakyeon had before.

 

          "Please...stop...teasing...aaahh-aa...don't...aaaarggghh...," Taekwoon pleaded after an hour of this treatment after Hakyeon had already reduced him to a whimpering, trembling pile of need.

 

When Hakyeon finally stopped 'torturing' him with his slow and tender treatments and picked up his pace to make him come at last, Taekwoon let out a loud moan and a deep sigh after finding his release and asked him to untie him. But Hakyeon, far from done with him, used the rare chance when Taekwoon was tied up and at his mercy to smother him with soft kisses and a tight embrace, clinging to Taekwoon's naked body as if his life depended on it.

 

          "You're doing it again," Taekwoon sighed in utter defeat.

 

          "Doing what?" Hakyeon asked, feigning innocence.

 

          "Being annoying...and clingy," Taekwoon answered.

 

          "Sorry...," Hakyeon immediately replied, though he wasn't sorry at all, "...but you'll forgive me...and put up with it, right?"

 

          "Wae?" Taekwoon replied, snorting slightly, "...Why do I need to put up with you being this clingy?"

 

          "Because you love me?" Hakyeon responded; and though he would have liked to be just as confident as his words had sounded, he could already feel his own insecurity growing because he didn't think Taekwoon had ever straight-out told him how he felt about him.

 

Feeling apprehensive after Taekwoon didn't immediately answer, Hakyeon started to pull away from him, when his dongsaeng asked him to wait and untie him first. Hakyeon did as Taekwoon asked and carefully unbound his wrists, fully expecting the latter to bolt the moment his hands were free since he found Hakyeon's extreme clinginess so annoying.

 

Which was why he found himself utterly amazed a moment later when Taekwoon pulled him back onto his chest and slung his arms around him, hugging him tightly to his own body.

 

          "You're right," Taekwoon said a moment later.

 

         "About what?" Hakyeon asked, momentarily dumbfounded; his mind had gone completely blank after Taekwoon had started to hug him close so intimately, and he couldn't recall what they'd just talked about.

 

          "I'll put up with it...," Taekwoon explained, his voice suddenly softer and gentler and at the same time more hesitant than Hakyeon had ever heard it, "...because...I...I love you."  

 


	63. Familiarity

Jaehwan slowly opened his eyes and untangled his body from Wonsik's. As it was really early in the morning and the two of them hadn't slept much that night, Jaehwan felt beyond tired and had a hard time keeping his eyes open. He could have just laid back down again and kept sleeping, but there was something he really wanted to do.

 

It was the second week in January and the peaceful yet equally exciting time he'd spent with Wonsik over the Christmas holidays and during their New Year celebration was still very fresh in his mind. All six members had celebrated Christmas together, playing games, eating, drinking, unpacking small presents, teasing each other and bickering every now and then - something that was never really missing when all of them got together at the same time - and even Hyuk's boyfriend Jin had come over late at night after spending time with his own members. It had been a fun, warm, and lighthearted time for all of them.

 

Jaehwan and Wonsik had spent many nights in each other's arms, sometimes only holding each other close...sometimes doing very naughty things to each other. And after VIXX's end of year performance at the MBC Gayo Daejejeon the members had gone back to the dorm to have a New Years party of their own, which had led to many a member ending up on the living room floor completely shit-faced. Jaehwan could still clearly picture Wonsik's drunken expressions and the way his boyfriend had clung to him throughout the night, hugging and kissing him nonstop and being so incredibly adorable that Jaehwan had wanted to do something special for him.

 

Now, New Years had long passed and Jaehwan still hadn't had the opportunity to surprise Wonsik as he couldn't ever seem to make himself leave his boyfriend's warm embrace and crawl out of bed before Wonsik awoke. Realizing this was his best chance to finally do something really nice for him, Jaehwan finally made it out of bed, got dressed, grabbed his wallet, and headed for the door. He'd been wanting to surprise his boyfriend with a typical French breakfast in bed and had spent many hours on the internet to find the perfect place that opened early and sold just the kind of croissants Wonsik liked. Since he really seemed to love Paris but didn't have the opportunity to travel there often, Jaehwan was going to bring a little piece of Paris to him.

 

And though he knew that it wasn't really a huge present but simply a small loving gesture, Jaehwan felt it was the best way to pay Wonsik back for all the special moments he'd given to him over the past weeks. And he couldn't wait to see his boyfriend's face when he gently woke him up with hundreds of kisses before setting the surprise breakfast in front of him in bed. Smiling and whistling to himself like a complete idiot, Jaehwan made it all the way down the elevator and to the building's main door before the smile was wiped off his face in a matter of seconds upon exiting the building.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Harin's hands were freezing as she stood in the cold, dark street right in front of her ex-boyfriend's building. After weeks of carefully using her many connections to find out Jaehwan's home address, and after finally dredging up the courage to face him again even though he'd never texted her back, Harin had headed over to his place early in the morning without any kind of plan...simply because she'd wanted to at least be near him.

 

Little had she known that she'd end up running right into him outside the building. The startled expression on his face mirrored her own, and all the things she'd been longing to tell him upon finally seeing him again were suddenly swept from her mind, the only thing remaining the intense longing to be wrapped inside his warm embrace again. But the unwelcoming look in his eyes made her stop right in her tracks...this was definitely not the warm, loving look she remembered.

 

          "Err...," she started but immediately got tongue-tied again.

 

          "What are you doing here?" Jaehwan finally opened his mouth before she could try again, his voice beautiful even though his tone was a bit cold, making Harin's heart sink.

 

Perhaps she'd waited too long. Perhaps she should have told him she missed him long ago, years ago, to be precise, seeing as he'd left a hole in her heart the very moment he'd left. Judging from the way he was looking at her, he might already have fallen out of love with her a long time ago. But maybe there was still a chance...maybe she could get his love back if she finally admitted just how much she missed him and what a terrible mistake it had been to ever let him go.

 

          "I...I really...missed you," Harin said, the words sounding inadequate even to her own ears, "I've been...thinking about you...every day...since we broke up...," she added, knowing full well that only the utmost sincerity could make him understand her heart and make him forgive her, "...I was really...stupid...to make you choose...when I knew how much you...love music...I shouldn't have made you choose...And now I just...miss you so much...I can't stand it anymore...So...I...want to...to ask you...if we can't just...go back...to the way we were?"

 

Perhaps it was simply a trick of the light coming from the street lamp above their heads, but Harin wanted to believe that what she was seeing in Jaehwan's eyes right then was the returning spark of emotion, of warmth, the resurfacing of the fond memories they shared - memories that couldn't just be forgotten or ignored, no matter how many years they'd been apart.

 

Holding onto that small ray of hope, Harin slowly closed the remaining distance between them and grasped one of his larger hands. As she gently enveloped and held it between her own hands, the immediate feeling of familiarity and warmth sprang up between them once more, the silence intensifying for a moment as they simply stood there facing each other.

 

          "I still love you, Jaehwani...that never changed," Harin whispered softly as she gradually rose to her tiptoes to kiss him and finally feel the warmth and softness she'd missed for so long...   

 


	64. Tears

Jaehwan's body started trembling when Harin captured his hand between her own, but he told himself that it was from the cold...told himself that he simply hadn't dressed warmly enough to withstand the freezing temperature of an early winter morning and that Harin's freezing hands wrapped around his own weren't helping. 

 

Because if he didn't tell himself that, he might actually have to accept the fact that he was trembling because he felt afraid. Afraid of falling back into her familiar embrace...afraid of admitting that her touch and the words of longing she'd spoken stirred long forgotten memories of warmth, comfort, and love. And even though he really didn't want to feel that way, it was a very natural response, seeing as they'd dated for a considerably long time and had deeply loved each other before their relationship had abruptly and cruelly come to an end. 

 

But at the same moment that he remembered how much he'd once loved her, those cherished memories were outshone by the physically and emotionally much more intense memories he'd created with Wonsik...by the reminiscence of the many nights they'd slept in each other's arms after hours and hours of mind-blowing, yet at the same time emotionally intimate and gentle, lovemaking.

 

And just as quickly as her unexpected yet familiar touch had managed to unsettle him and make him tremble, the very notion of the more than special love Wonsik and he had created together suddenly made all his fears and doubts vanish, leaving his heart, body, and mind unitedly determined: they belonged to Wonsik...and Wonsik alone.

 

Jaehwan had finally decided. Even though he'd once before chosen Wonsik after he'd received her text message, he still hadn't been able to feel a hundred percent sure of himself until he'd seen her standing before him in the flesh, before he'd heard the words she'd wanted to say. But now that he had...now that he'd had a chance to test himself and see how he truly felt when confronted by his past lover...he finally knew without a doubt. He was Wonsik's, just as Wonsik was his.

 

And not even her confession that her love for him had never changed could make the slightest difference now that Jaehwan knew what he wanted...whom he really needed. And although he'd stood still for way too long, merely gazing at Harin while momentarily lost in his own thoughts after hearing her say that she still loved him, Jaehwan reacted just in time, right before his ex could actually reach his lips and kiss him.

 

As gently yet resolutely as he could, Jaehwan intercepted the hands that had started reaching for his face while taking a step back just before Harin's lips could meet his own. Harin's already closed eyes abruptly fluttered open when she felt her lips meeting thin air and her body slightly falling forward, though Jaehwan held her long enough to help her get her footing back before letting go of her again.

 

Harin's wide, unblinking eyes were slowly filling with tears as she stood in front of him; it was obvious that she felt shocked and hurt by Jaehwan's rejection, her mouth silently opening and closing several times while her lips trembled under the weight of the words she seemed unable to get out.

 

          "Wae? (Why?)" was the only thing she seemed able to say as she finally got the word past her still trembling lips, the tears now streaming unhindered down her face.

 

Jaehwan didn't know how to react to that...how to answer her question without telling her about Wonsik at the same time. Because that was _one_ _thing_ he could never tell her... _one thing_ that could never be known outside his small circle of close brothers (and Jin). Because the scandal and the aftermath it would create if the truth got out was simply too horrifying to imagine. So telling her that he'd fallen in love with Wonsik was out. Nor could he tell her that he was in a relationship with someone else and let her misunderstand that he meant with another woman...the potential for creating a scandal sadly just as great, seeing as he was an idol. 

 

At the same time, he respected her and their past relationship too much to just lie to her face and tell her that he simply didn't like her and wasn't interested in her anymore. Because it wasn't really true. He still found her extremely attractive, and her presence and the memories they shared still had the power to make him softhearted toward her. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been so shaken by her sudden appearance. And the whole truth was: If he hadn't already fallen head over heels for his adorable and sexy dongsaeng, Jaehwan knew he would have taken her back in the space of a heartbeat - she'd meant that much to him! But ever since he'd fallen in love with Wonsik, that had changed. As deeply as he'd fallen for him, he'd also fallen out of love with everyone else who wasn't Wonsik. Because now, nobody else would do.

 

So he didn't want to tell her that it was because of _her_ because that wasn't the truth. Then again, he wouldn't use the much too often used and abused phrase 'It's not you, it's me', no matter how true it happened to be in his case. And it really _was_  his fault. Even after the many years that had passed, she appeared to be the same person he'd known. But Jaehwan wasn't. He'd changed...changed so much, in fact, that he'd turned his whole life upside down to be with the man of his dreams - even if he'd never imagined dreaming of someone of the same sex before he'd recognized his true feelings for Wonsik.

 

So, since he didn't want to lie to her, the only thing he could do for her at this point - for the past lover who was standing before him crying and looking so genuinely and pathetically sad because of his rejection - was to try to be as honest as he could without hurting her more than he already had.

 

          "I'm sorry, Harin-ah...I really am...," Jaehwan said and meant every single word, "...but I can't be with you. And even though I can't tell you my reason, I sincerely hope you will understand and respect my decision. And please don't continue asking me 'why'...because my answer will be the same."

 

          "Then I'll ask you something else...just one more thing...," Harin replied while sniffing and hurriedly wiping at the tears rolling down her face, "...and please tell me honestly...did you really not miss me?"

 

          _I missed you like hell...for the longest time,_ Jaehwan thought but didn't say.

 

Because this was something he could never tell her without giving her hope. And if there was one thing he had to do without fail, it was to dissuade her from continuing to seek him out. It was, after all, what was best for her. She needed to give up on him completely before she could find happiness with someone else.

 

          "I already said I wouldn't answer any more questions...so please don't ever ask me again," Jaehwan said evasively, unable to give her the truth yet just as unwilling to lie to her.

 

Little did he know that those words and their ring of finality would make her burst into fresh tears, make her hunker down right then and there on the icy cold, frost-covered asphalt, and cause him to feel even guiltier toward her than he already did. 

 

Suddenly stuck between a rock and a hard place - he couldn't just turn around and walk away from the person he'd once loved when she was so very obviously in pain and distress, nor could he really afford to treat her too well and comfort her for fear that she might misunderstand - Jaehwan had no choice but to at least get her somewhere warm and private until she managed to pull herself together again. Even if it was the very last thing he wanted, his history with her and the fragile state she was in right now made it impossible for Jaehwan to just ignore her and send her away like that. That was not how his parents had raised him.

 

Seeing no other way out, Jaehwan gently urged her to get back to her feet, out of the cold, and come up to their dorm until she'd calmed down enough to call for a cab.

 

          "Come upstairs for a while...it's cold...and you're upset...I'll make us some tea...so, stay just until you...feel better...and you can call a cab," Jaehwan said, motioning for her to step inside the building - though he was careful not to touch her in any way, making her understand that he was simply looking out for her wellbeing and that it wouldn't change anything between them.

 

All the way through the building's corridor, into the elevator, and up to the floor where their dorm was located, Jaehwan's thoughts circled around his boyfriend's reaction when Wonsik found out that he'd actually brought his ex-girlfriend into their dorm. But while he was apprehensive about his lover's reaction, he was also hopeful. Because if Wonsik truly loved him, as Jaehwan firmly believed he did, he would love him just the way he was. And Jaehwan simply wasn't the kind of person who could just dump another person in need - even if it happened to be his ex.

 

As the elevator slowly made its way up toward their dorm - the mechanical noise it made accompanied by Harin's soft sniffing - Jaehwan hoped to God Wonsik would understand, his heart starting up a frantic beat...the sound in his ears suddenly as loud as that of a drum...

 


	65. Big Mistake

Hyuk felt worn out, his limbs and eyelids heavy as his body rested halfway on top of the smaller one beside him, the incredible feeling of Jin's soft, warm, and silky smooth skin continuing to torture him. Because although he was worn out, it wasn't because of physical exertion. Ever since their first time together a few weeks back, they'd had little time to see each other because of the busy schedules of both of their groups as well as their individual ones. And though they'd spent Christmas and New Year's Eve together, Jin having come over late at night after celebrating with his own members, they'd never really had the opportunity to pick up where they'd left off, the vast amounts of alcohol they'd consumed on both occasions thwarting any plans they might have made to be intimate again.

 

So when Jin had suddenly dropped by unannounced after an extremely busy day the night before, Hyuk, who'd desperately wanted to repeat what they'd done the one time they'd had sex, had been ecstatic to see him...to hold him...to make him go crazy - until he'd noticed how very, very tired Jin looked. And indeed, Jin had just barely made it into Hyuk's room before dropping onto his bed completely exhausted from his schedules and falling asleep in a matter of seconds. A bit frustrated but at the same time understanding, Hyuk had simply undressed his boyfriend - though he'd been a bit naughty and had taken his briefs of as well - had slid underneath the covers with him and spent an awfully long time trying to keep himself from touching his sleeping boyfriend before he'd finally fallen asleep while holding him close.

 

So, after a whole night of temptation and effort trying to hold himself back, Hyuk was completely worn out. It wasn't that he only had sex on his mind whenever he met Jin. He was perfectly happy just to talk to him and spend time with him. But it had been an incredibly long time since they'd been intimate, and their time together had been so passionate...his longing to hold Jin like that again so great...that Hyuk simply couldn't help it. His whole body was already aching to become one with him again. Especially when Jin was so close and his skin felt so soft and warm.

 

After letting out a loud breath of frustration, Hyuk quickly got up, threw on his bathrobe, and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself - seeing Jaehwan leaving through the entrance door and closing it behind him just as he turned the corner of the hallway. Without questioning where his hyung might be heading this early in the morning - his mind still too occupied by his boyfriend to care - Hyuk simply made his way back to his room after using the bathroom.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Jin strained his ears, listening to the faint sounds of his boyfriend's footsteps as they carried Hyuk back to his room...back to Jin. Though he wasn't feeling proud of himself for somewhat deceiving him, Jin didn't know what else to do. The truth was, he hadn't really slept that much...and certainly hadn't fallen asleep right after lying down on Hyuk's bed the previous night.

 

Having felt an enormous amount of pressure at the thought of what Hyuk might expect of him after being alone with him for the first time when both of them were completely sober and hadn't been intimate in a long time - pressure he'd probably put on himself without any real reason, but couldn't help feeling regardless - Jin had pretended to have fallen asleep before he'd even fully thought it through.

 

He knew he shouldn't have done it...knew he'd only kept himself from enjoying a whole night in Hyuk's arms, especially since he'd come there unannounced to see him because he'd missed him so much. He could have and certainly _should_ have just been honest with him...could have let him know that although he was almost always extremely confident about himself and frequently showed that side to other people, Hyuk was the _one_ person who could strip him of that confidence and make him feel incredibly nervous in his presence.

 

He knew it was stupid to feel like that, especially since they'd already had sex and had continuously seen each other afterward without sleeping together. So Jin should already have felt completely comfortable and at ease around his boyfriend and not like it was their very first date. But every single time he met him...every single time he felt Hyuk's touch, no matter how innocent and chaste it might be, Jin's heart would start racing uncontrollably and he would feel like a clumsy teenager who'd never even dated before.

 

And though he couldn't really fully explain this extreme reaction he had, he assumed it must have to do with the fact that he seemed to be completely in thrall to him...at least his body was. When Hyuk had made love to him that very first time, Jin had been amazed at how intensely he'd liked being overwhelmed and overpowered by him. But at the same time, a tiny part of him had felt slightly apprehensive afterward when he'd realized just how much power Hyuk seemed to have over him. Which was why Jin was purposefully trying to postpone the moment they were intimate again, even though his body longed for it at the same time.

 

Though hating how complicated his feelings were, but still feeling the need to protect that last shred of resistance before he completely and utterly gave Hyuk every last piece of himself past the point of no return, Jin quickly closed his eyes again the moment Hyuk returned, pretending to be just as asleep as he'd allegedly been throughout the night.

 

What he hadn't reckoned with, however, was:

a) Hyuk seemed to have caught the very moment he'd hurriedly closed his eyes again, and

b) it didn't seem to matter to Hyuk in the slightest that it wasn't night time anymore

If anything, Hyuk seemed even more eager to do it this early in the morning with the day's first rays of sunlight flooding through the thin curtains to brightly illuminate the whole room.

 

Jin felt his palms starting to sweat under Hyuk's scrutiny as he watched his boyfriend slowly make his way across the room to him after he'd called Jin out on being awake after all. And now that the room was bathed in bright light, Jin felt his gaze even more intensely, a shiver running all the way down his body.

 

          "Wait...don't...keep that on," Jin hastily said when Hyuk started untying the belt of his bathrobe while approaching the bed.

 

          "What?...Why?" Hyuk simply asked, though untying and quickly ridding himself of his bathrobe, nonetheless, before Jin could do anything to stop him.

 

And before he knew it, a butt-naked and very ready Hyuk had already slid beneath the covers and started pulling Jin's equally naked body close, his boyfriend's hard length enticingly pushing up against Jin's exposed butt, seeing as Jin had quickly turned around when Hyuk had slid beneath the covers - a big mistake!

 


	66. Power

Jin could hear his heart drumming loudly in his ears when Hyuk's large hand started to leisurely travel up and down his exposed backside, teasing him for a long time by continuously inching closer to his hole without actually touching it.

 

Breathing hard and squirming beneath his boyfriend's touch, Jin tried to wriggle away from him and suppress the growing aching between his legs. He didn't need a raging hard-on to complicate things even more since he was still trying to keep his cool and not succumb to the sexual power Hyuk had over him.

 

          "You don't want me to touch you?" Hyuk whispered from behind, his lips lightly grazing the rim of his ear, "But I could swear you're loving it at the same time."

 

The feeling of Hyuk's lips touching his ear as well as his seductive whisper suddenly sent a shiver he couldn't suppress down his spine, making his body tremble in the aftermath.

 

          "You're so sensitive...I love it," Hyuk whispered again before sliding his wet, warm tongue right into Jin's ear.

 

Jin's whole body reacted to Hyuk's naughty tongue, goosebumps erupting all over his shivering skin as he threw his head back and overstretched his neck, completely lost in the feeling of Hyuk's tongue in his ear. At the same time, the aching in his lower region grew and grew...until he was so hard it was starting to drive him crazy.

 

          "See...you know you want me to do these things to you...," Hyuk whispered again after finally pulling his tongue out of his ear, his hand suddenly reaching around to confidently capture Jin's fully erect member, "...I'd say this is proof enough."

 

Jin had no words to offer in reply - no amount of excuses could hold up against the more than hard evidence in Hyuk's hand - the only sounds spilling from his mouth the desperate moans his boyfriend's abruptly pumping hand was eliciting from him.

 

          "Say you want this...admit it...that you want me...to touch you," Hyuk demanded, his voice soft and firm at the same time; Jin didn't have a fucking clue how he even managed that, but it was turning him on like crazy.

 

Jin could already feel himself being sucked right into Hyuk's universe again...an all-consuming universe in which he constantly felt completely out of control...in which he felt himself slowly drowning in the sensations the younger idol made him feel. And though he normally wasn't the type of person to give in easily or succumb to anyone else, the moment his boyfriend started touching him, he immediately lost any will to put up a fight.

 

And so, just like that, Hyuk had once again managed to wrap him around his little finger, making him crave his dongsaeng's touch so badly that he even found himself finally admitting it out loud, telling his boyfriend exactly what he wanted to hear.

 

          "Okay...I'll...aaahh...admit it," Jin breathed in between moans as Hyuk continued to stroke him, "...I want you...to...oughhh...touch...me."

 

          "Good boy...," Hyuk teased him while continuously rubbing his own hard cock suggestively against Jin's bare backside and pumping him harder and faster, "...and what else do you want me to do to you?...Come on...say it."

 

The words _'Fuck me'_ were echoing loudly around Jin's mind, but he couldn't seem to find the courage to actually say them out loud, feeling as though it would come across as him begging for it. And even though they both knew how much power Hyuk had over him in bed - and it had become more than obvious how much Hyuk enjoyed to act it out by the way he kept teasing him and talking dirty to him - Jin simply couldn't add to his power by asking him to fuck him, no matter how much he actually wanted him to.

 

♦ ♦ ♦

 

Hyuk had never felt so turned on in his entire life, not even the first time he'd had sex with Jin. It was only the second time he was being intimate with his boyfriend...and the first time he was fully experiencing what it meant to have the upper hand in a sexual relationship. He'd actually gotten a small glimpse of what it felt like to have power over someone when Jin and he had slept together the first time. But it hadn't been quite as apparent as it was now. The very fact that Jin had pretended to be asleep when he actually hadn't been...and how the older idol had tried to keep him from touching him intimately - while still being utterly turned on and growing hard nonetheless - told him just how nervous he was making Jin feel.

 

And for someone as confident as Kim Seokjin to be so utterly at Hyuk's mercy was making him feel all kinds of hot and bothered. Though he'd never known himself enough to realize that he wanted this kind of sexual relationship...or that he would enjoy it this much to have such power over his boyfriend...Hyuk couldn't deny that he was being completely turned on by it. He'd known people had their own preferences and kinks when it came to sex, but he'd had yet to learn that he was no exception.

 

And now that he knew how much he loved Jin's reactions when he overwhelmed and subdued him like this, he couldn't stop himself from doing just that.

 

          "Say it...what else do you want me to do...to you," Hyuk tried again, knowing full well that the words Jin was probably thinking just then would never make it past his lips unless he teased him until he couldn't possibly resist anymore.

 

Hyuk waited for about half a minute - actually enjoying Jin's continued silence and the consequences it would have - before turning around and quickly grabbing the bottle of lube he'd stashed in his bedside table drawer a few weeks back. Turning back towards Jin, he quickly squirted some lube on three of his fingers and started teasing his hyung, circling his wet, slippery fingertips around the older male's twitching hole again and again and inserting just the tip of one of his fingers before pulling it back out again before pushing it in anew.

 

Before long, Jin had turned into a complete and utter mess, his needy moans growing more and more desperate, his body starting to move on its own, pushing back against Hyuk's finger in an attempt to bury it deeper inside his body as Hyuk continued to deny him the full pleasure.

 

          "Please...," Jin finally panted, his voice shaking slightly.

 

          "Please...what?" Hyuk asked, acting innocent.

 

          "Stop...torturing...me," Jin whispered, his voice sounding strained.

 

          "Torturing? You mean you want... _more_? Just say it then...what do you want me to do?" Hyuk asked, sensing it wouldn't be long until Jin finally gave in.

 

After what seemed like an incredibly long moment, Jin finally said it.

 

          "F-fuck me...I want you to...fuck me," Jin whispered, his body shivering at the same time.

 

Hyuk didn't wait to be asked twice, his fingers immediately sliding into Jin's tight hole and scissoring to make his boyfriend's entrance wider and prepare him properly. After pulling his fingers back out, turning Jin on his back, and finally kneeling between his spread legs, Hyuk slicked his cock up with lube and pushed it deeply into Jin's ass, both of them moaning loudly the moment they connected.

 

Instead of letting the hot blood rushing through his veins take over and make him pound into his boyfriend like crazy, Hyuk kept it together, being careful not to hurt him and to prolong the intimacy they shared for as long as he possibly could. After what felt like a small eternity of fucking slowly and deeply - soft moans continuously spilling from both of their throats even as their tongues battled furiously during kissing - both of them finally spilled at nearly the same time.

 

Panting heavily, shaking in his boyfriend's equally trembling arms, and filled with a warmth that was reaching straight into his heart, Hyuk felt that it was _his_ turn now... _his_ turn to admit his weakness. Though both of them knew without a doubt that Jin was completely at Hyuk's mercy during sex, Jin didn't seem to realize the kind of power he had over Hyuk in turn - the power to move him...to touch not just his body, but also his heart.

 

And since Hyuk could already feel himself falling harder for him than he'd ever fallen for anyone in his entire life - and since he'd used his power over Jin to make him admit how much he wanted to be fucked - Hyuk felt he owed him the same kind of honesty.

 

          "It's my turn to admit something now," Hyuk softly spoke while gazing right into Jin's sparkling eyes while resting on top of him - not having pulled out yet because he wanted to feel connected to him for as long as he could.

 

When Jin merely gazed back at him with curiosity in his eyes, Hyuk finally continued, his voice shaking slightly with nerves as it was the very first time he was saying these words to a lover.

 

          "Saranghae," Hyuk whispered warmly, watching as his boyfriend's at first surprised expression gradually changed, a wide grin spreading across his face even as his eyes filled and overflowed with tears.

 

          "Don't cry...it's a good thing, isn't it?" Hyuk quickly added teasingly.

 

          "That depends...what exactly does it mean?" Jin teased him right back, acting coy while clearly enjoying every second of it.

 

          "It means you have just as much power over me," Hyuk admitted.

 

Even if each of their powers lay in a different area, they were of equal importance. Whereas Hyuk had the upper hand in bed, he felt that Jin had the upper hand in their relationship. Because it had already become very clear to Hyuk that his hyung had started to get to him in a way no one else ever had - a process that had started even before they'd been intimate and had only grown since then. And he knew he wanted to do everything he could to make his boyfriend happy. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him.

 

          "Okay...," Jin said happily, grinning widely and looking awfully proud and much too pleased with himself, "...since you just admitted that I have power over you too, I guess I can tell you now."

 

Hyuk's heart started pounding violently against his chest as he waited for Jin's next words, his eyes already starting to fill with tears even as he tried to hold them back in case he was mistaken in what Jin was going to tell him. But they happily escaped the very next moment when he finally heard the very words he'd desperately hoped to hear from him in return. 

 

          "I love you, too," Jin said softly before pulling Hyuk's lips down onto his own for a sweet little kiss. 

 


	67. Dead Giveaway

Wonsik stretched one last time and finally opened his eyes. He'd been half asleep and half awake for several minutes now, which was very unlike him. Usually, when he slept, he slept - period. In fact, he tended to sleep so well and so deeply that it was always almost impossible for his fellow members to get him to wake up on the first, second, or even third try.

 

But that morning, Wonsik was simply too aware of his surroundings. Even while he'd still been asleep, his subconsciousness had already been alerted the very moment the all too familiar and comforting warmth in bed beside him had suddenly vanished. Somewhere between being asleep and awake, Wonsik had waited for Jaehwan to return, thinking he must only have left to go to the bathroom. So, when he still hadn't returned quite a while after having left - though Wonsik couldn't really say how long it had been - Wonsik was finally fully awake and determined to see what his boyfriend was doing instead of coming back to bed.

 

After quickly relieving himself, washing his face, brushing his teeth, and throwing on a pair of sweats and a sleeveless t-shirt, Wonsik left the room and headed toward the kitchen, from where his boyfriend's voice drifted toward him, his bare feet hardly making any sound as he walked down the corridor.

 

For a moment, Wonsik wondered who Jaehwan could be talking to. Because Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Hongbin were staying over at Hakyeon's new place, which he'd just finished furnishing and fully decorating a short while ago - he'd even put up a short video of painting a ceiling lamp and making candles for each room on youtube - and Hyuk and Jin were in Hyuk's room; he'd clearly heard evidence of the maknae and his boyfriend being intimate as he'd just passed the room. From the not very subtle and definitely not very quiet sounds of Jin's moaning, their youngest must be doing something very naughty to his hyung. So, wondering if Jaehwan was once again talking to himself, something he was doing a lot lately, Wonsik simply hurried down the corridor toward him.

 

Had he known about the sight that expected him around the next corner, Wonsik would have had a chance to mentally prepare himself. As it stood, he was completely overwhelmed, not to mention shocked beyond words, when he suddenly found himself face to face with a woman whose beauty he'd always admired on photos whenever Jaehwan had longingly talked about her and shown him her image, but whom he'd started to feel seriously jealous of ever since Jaehwan and he had become an item - and especially since she'd sent his boyfriend a text telling him that she missed him.

 

Seeing as he'd had absolutely no time to prepare himself and had never even imagined finding her seated at their kitchen table with Jaehwan next to her while they were companionably drinking tea together, Wonsik didn't have the slightest chance at hiding _exactly_ how he was feeling at that moment, his intensely burning jealousy written all over his face - he didn't need to see himself in a mirror to know how clearly it was showing.

 

And the expression of Jaehwan's ex as well as his boyfriend's reaction as he jumped up from the table as though he'd been stung by a bee, only confirmed it. Belatedly, Wonsik realized what a fucking bad idea it was to give away the nature of their relationship to a woman who was trying to get back with her ex and might just use this knowledge to her advantage - since the last thing any idol group needed was a full-blown scandal - Wonsik tried to get a grip on himself and turn the situation around by coming up with an excuse for his behavior. But before he could think of anything to say that might cover up his jealousy or Jaehwan's reaction to him finding him with his ex, Jaehwan only made matters worse by coming right up to him, taking his hands in his own, and wordlessly conveying in a single, loving gaze that it wasn't as it seemed and that Wonsik should trust him.

 

And though Wonsik truly felt relieved at seeing that expression in Jaehwan's eyes and knowing that he hadn't betrayed his trust and would give him an explanation later on, Wonsik couldn't really relax and let down his guard, because from the look on Jaehwan's ex's face it was clear as day that she'd read between the lines and knew what Jaehwan's gaze and gestures had meant.

 

So, depending on the kind of person she truly was at heart, she could choose to finally give up on her ex upon realizing he'd found someone new...or she could turn their lives into a living hell.

 


	68. Time

Hakyeon finally set down his phone, got up from the sofa he'd been perched on for the last twenty minutes, and started to pace from one wall of his living room to the other. It was the second time Taekwoon and Hongbin were coming over to his new place to spend the night, the first having been a little while back. They'd spent the time together exploring Hakyeon's new apartment, cooking and eating dinner together, and chatting about their upcoming fan meeting and the release of their new song. After watching a few movies together while cuddling on the couch, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms without having done anything more than kissing.

 

Things hadn't exactly panned out the way Hakyeon had imagined they would. He'd thought they would use the opportunity of being completely alone with each other without the other members nearby to pick up right where they'd left off in bed as a threesome. And though he'd felt a bit apprehensive about how it might be like to be with both of them at the same time again after each of them had spent nights as a couple rather than a threesome in the past weeks, Hakyeon had really looked forward to being intimate with them again.

 

But even though nothing of a sexual nature had happened between them that night, he'd felt comforted just falling asleep next to them. It seemed they'd all needed to just rest in each other's arms for a change. Because although they hadn't really talked about it that much - had each tried to avoid the sad reality of it - Hakyeon had told all of his fellow members the moment he'd received his notice at the beginning of January that the day of his enlistment in the military would be the 4th of March. So the all too quickly approaching day when he had to leave his group and his lovers was constantly silently hanging over their heads.

 

And Hakyeon had been okay with it up until recently, knowing that there was no way around it. Also, he didn't want to find a way around it. Because in his culture it was an important and necessary contribution to society, something every Korean male felt he should do and something to feel proud of. Knowing this, he'd been fine with going away for a while. Because he knew everyone who mattered in his life...family, members, Starlights...would be waiting for him.

 

But in the past few days, it had become harder and harder to not feel sad about the little remaining time he had before his enlistment, especially after their fan meeting and the release of their new song. He'd tried so hard to keep back his own tears at their fan meeting, even making it through Ken's breakdown and the group hug, being strong even when every one of his fellow members had lost it and started crying one by one. But he'd only made it until the end of the event. The moment he'd left the stage and no longer had to be afraid of making every single Starlight at the event feel sad right along with him, he burst into tears. He simply hadn't been able to help it.

 

He'd been okay with it, though...he'd felt it was okay to finally show tears and admit that he would miss his fellow members, the fans, and the stage he loved so very much - and that the fans would never even have to know how he'd broken down in the end. But, of course, Taekwoon had to blab about it right in front of the camera in the Vlive they did right after the event, Hakyeon thought, gently laughing to himself. He couldn't blame him, not after he, himself, had talked about how the other members had cried as well.

 

So here he was, feeling the sadness of his fans and the people around him along with them, reading their fans' comments about their new song 'Walking', who couldn't stop crying as they listened to the song...and feeling emotionally raw at the moment. Eventually, he'd had to set his phone down because he didn't want Taekwoon and Hongbin to find him crying, not really wanting to bring up the subject and remind them of the little time they had left to be together like they had been up until then.

 

Suddenly interrupting these thoughts, the sound of his doorbell brought him back to the present, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought that his boyfriends had finally arrived. Hastily wiping at the tiniest traces of tears that had started to fill his eyes once again, Hakyeon ran to the door but stopped himself from opening it too quickly; he didn't want to appear just as desperate as he felt to see them...to be comforted by them.

 

Hakyeon finally opened the door for them after waiting for a few moments to find them standing opposite him holding hands and grinning broadly at him. Though slightly taken aback by the sight of their intertwined fingers, Hakyeon caught himself and controlled his expression, smiling back at them while asking them to come in. Though he really didn't want to be petty and feel this way, he couldn't help but feel jealous of late whenever Taekwoon and Hongbin held hands, just like they'd done at their fan meeting when they'd been playing games. He knew it was stupid, but the thought that the two of them would be able to spend time and be intimate with each other after Hakyeon left for the military - seeing as Taekwoon didn't need to enlist for another couple of months - was making him feel very lonely and jealous.

 

After the two of them entered the apartment and settled on the couch, leaving a space between them empty, Taekwoon simply stared at him while silently communicating to him to sit down between them. Hakyeon sighed and made his way over to his waiting boyfriends. It was clear from the way they were looking at him and asking him to join and sit between them that Hakyeon's expression at the front door hadn't been quite as controlled as he'd thought or at least hoped.

 

          "Why are you so jealous?" Taekwoon softly asked him once he'd settled between the two of them, both Hongbin's and Taekwoon's arms slung around Hakyeon's upper body hugging him close. "Is it because we...because we slept with each other without you?"

 

           "N-no...it's not that...," Hakyeon finally opened up, "...we all agreed to it and I'm fine with that...it's more the thought that...that the two of you will have more time with each other while...while I'll be away...I'm just feeling so emotional lately about having to leave you all behind...so I'm jealous about the time that you have...the time I don't have."

 

          "Waah...will you listen to this, Taekwoon hyung?...Can you believe him?..." Hongbin suddenly spoke on Hakyeon's other side, his tone of voice one Hakyeon knew only too well; his dongsaeng was trying to lighten the mood by being overly sarcastic and teasing because that was the way he gave comfort without actually appearing to do so in order to hide the fact that he felt just as emotionally raw as everyone else, "...he's jealous of the two of us spending more time with each other...but he'll clearly see you more often than _I_ will once you follow him to the military in a few months...waaah...the nerve."

 

Hakyeon couldn't hold back the sudden small laugh that clawed its way up his throat at Hongbin's comment.

 

          "Haha...you're right...I'm sorry, I didn't even think that far ahead...I just...I was just...I felt so lost all of a sudden...that I wasn't thinking clearly."

 

          "It's okay," both of them gently whispered into his ear from both sides, making goosebumps rise on Hakyeon's skin.

 

          "Look at you shivering...I think we need to do something to make you feel warm," Taekwoon whispered into his left ear, "Yeah, he definitely looks cold to me...let's heat him up," Hongbin whispered into his other ear, both of their lips lingering excitingly against Hakyeon's skin, making him shiver even harder.

 

They were right, Hakyeon thought, he couldn't agree more: he definitely needed to be kept warm by their hot bodies _right now_!


	69. Rock Ur Body

Hakyeon's heart started beating faster as Hongbin picked him up in one powerful movement and swung him into his arms to carry him to the bedroom, Taekwoon following directly behind them. Usually, Taekwoon was the one to take charge when the three of them were about to get intimate, Hongbin always hanging back a bit at the very beginning and letting his hyung take the initiative.

 

_This_ time, however, Hongbin was the first to swoop Hakyeon up into his arms and carry him off, which Hakyeon couldn't help but interpret as his dongsaeng inadvertently admitting how much he was going to miss him and how deeply he cared for him. Because in Hongbin's case - as he wasn't someone who openly shared his feelings but who preferred to hide behind sarcasm and jokes - the only way to find out about how he really felt was by looking closely at his actions.

 

After Hongbin had gently laid him down on the mattress, Hakyeon secretly wiped at the wetness leaking from the corners of his eyes, not wanting to show just how moved he'd felt by Hongbin's inadvertent admission of how he felt about him. Because although Hongbin had confessed to being in love with him at the very beginning of their relationship back in their hotel room in L.A., he hadn't once told him that he loved him since they'd started going out; the word 'Saranghae' usually didn't make it past Hongbin's lips. 

 

Hongbin had never had a problem saying it to his fans or saying it to his fellow members when he felt he really needed to because everyone else had said it or because it was a task their fans had asked them to perform in front of them. Other than that, though, it was a word Hongbin never really used to convey his feelings for his family or fellow members, keeping his feelings locked away inside him in a secret place no one else had access to.

 

Which was why his actions spoke so much louder than his words...and which was why Hakyeon fought against his tears, feeling treasured and loved just from being carried in his dongsaeng's arms and set down on the bed as gently as though he were made of glass.

 

But though he really tried to hide how pathetically emotional and vulnerable he was once again feeling for the second time that evening, Hakyeon failed to hide his feelings, his expression once again betraying him. He could already see it in Hongbin's eyes even before the other lay down next to him and spoke.

 

          "Why are you starting to cry, hyung?" Hongbin gently asked him while wiping fresh tears from Hakyeon's cheeks.

 

          "He's crying?" Taekwoon, who hadn't been able to see his expression from where he'd stood, quickly asked from behind as he lay down at Hakyeon's back, "Wae?"

 

Hakyeon had a hard time trying to speak past the lump lodged in his throat but managed eventually, his voice trembling slightly.

 

          "B-because of the way...you carried me," Hakyeon admitted, though from Hongbin's expression it was clear that the latter had no clue why this would have made him cry.

 

          "You didn't want to be carried?..." Taekwoon asked from behind his back, seeming completely stumped at his emotional reaction, "...Did you want to walk on your own?...You can't honestly be crying because you didn't want to be carried...right?"

 

          "No...," Hakyeon managed, a shaky laugh following his answer, Taekwoon's cluelessness and the incredulity in his voice too cute and funny to handle.

 

          "Then...why?" Hongbin asked again, gently grasping Hakyeon's chin and lifting his head up so that he could meet his gaze.

 

          "I...I don't know," Hakyeon lied, suddenly feeling insecure and doubting that he'd even correctly interpreted Hongbin's actions since the latter didn't seem to have a clue as to why Hakyeon had felt so touched. Abruptly the idea of admitting that he'd thought it showed how much Hongbin loved and would miss him felt like a bad and humiliating one.

 

          "Of course you do...," Taekwoon softly whispered from behind while soothingly running a hand up and down his back, "...Come on, tell us...why did you start crying?"

 

Hakyeon stalled for as long as he could with Hongbin continuously gazing at him and both of them waiting for him to finally talk.

 

          "It's...it's stupid, I guess...Just forget about it," Hakyeon tried, even though he already knew they wouldn't let him get away with keeping it to himself.

 

After enduring a whole minute of the two of them gently yet teasingly poking his upper body with their index-fingers, Hakyeon gave up, sighing deeply before answering.

 

          "I thought that...that you picking me up like that and carrying me...that it meant that...that it showed that you...would miss me...and that you...you l-love me," Hakyeon finally managed, hating the sounds of the words leaving his mouth because he felt humiliated by them.

 

Because while he was always confident about the love of his family and his fans, he couldn't really help but feel a bit insecure about his fellow members. Although he knew or thought he knew how they felt about him deep down, VIXX as a group had a bit of a habit of brushing Hakyeon off when he was too clingy, emotional, and showered his fellow members with love and attention. He'd always felt he had to fight hard for every word of affection his fellow members openly offered him - except perhaps when it came to Jaehwan, who would often outright tell anyone who mattered to him just how much he loved them.

 

Hakyeon closed his eyes and held his breath as he waited for Hongbin to reply. When the silence around them only intensified, he had no choice but to open his eyes again and look at his dongsaeng in order to at least read his expression. And as he'd already suspected, the look on Hongbin's face was just as Hakyeon had pictured it: a look of complete incredulity and judgment.

 

          "I know...I know...you don't have to say anything...of course, you carrying me didn't mean that..." Hakyeon started to say, only to be rudely interrupted by Hongbin's lips swooping down on his own, stopping him mid-sentence.

 

          "I thought I should stop you from saying something _really_ stupid," Hongbin whispered after pulling away again; it seemed Hakyeon might have wrongly interpreted the look of judgment on Hongbin's face after all, "I was just a bit surprised that you felt...that touched...just because I carried you...I've carried you before, you know."

 

          "I know...," Hakyeon answered, "...but this felt different...it seemed more important to you, especially since you hurried and picked me up before Taekwoon did...which usually doesn't happen when the three of us are together."

 

          "That's right...," Taekwoon agreed, "...you were very forward today...I was surprised, too. You must already miss him even though he's not even gone yet. Not that I don't feel the same...I'm just saying..."

 

          "Okay...fine...whatever...," Hongbin replied a bit heatedly, "...but why is it such a big deal...why can't I just show it once in a while without you getting all emotional?"

 

          "Because he _needs_ to know how you feel...and he's actually desperate to hear you say it, too," Taekwoon explained on Hakyeon's behalf.

 

          "You're one to talk...," Hongbin shot back at Taekwoon instead, seemingly trying to deflect the heat, "...as if _you're_ better at it than I am...I remember clearly...during one of our fan signs when we were tasked with saying 'Saranghae' to each other up and down the table...when it got back around to you and you were supposed to say it to Hakyeon, you hurt his feelings and upset quite a few Starlights by refusing to say it to him."

 

          "Waah...I can't believe you're bringing that up again," Taekwoon started.

 

          "I admit, I felt a bit hurt," Hakyeon interrupted him, addressing Hongbin, "But at least he told me after the fan sign event. He apologized and explained that he'd felt too shy to say it to me in front of all those people. And then he said it to me when we were alone...even hugged me."

 

          "But has he told you that he loves you since the three of us started dating?" Hongbin asked, sounding positive that he knew the answer to his own question since Taekwoon tended to be just as bad at expressing his feelings.

 

          "He did, actually...after I coaxed it out of him a little...But it's fine...you're right...," Hakyeon added in defeat, his lower lip already pushing forward to express a pout before he even realized he was doing it, "...who needs to hear one's loved ones expressing their feelings...it's completely overrated these days."

 

Hakyeon's pout only grew as the two of them suddenly burst out laughing and called him cute in between giggles. He was just about to wriggle out between them and storm off when Hongbin and Taekwoon gently pushed him back down into the mattress between them.

 

          "You know, you shouldn't really make that face...that pout is just too cute!" Hongbin said, coming closer and sucking on Hakyeon's bottom lip before releasing it again.

 

          "Cute?" Hakyeon replied indignantly before biting down on his lower lip.

 

          "And sexy," Taekwoon added, gently tugging on Hakyeon's lower lip with his fingers and pulling it back out from between his teeth to form another pout before sucking it in just as Hongbin had just done.

 

          "Honestly," Hakyeon complained once he could talk again, "Stop messing with me, you two."

 

Then he went right back to sulking since they still refused to tell him that they loved him. Though he had managed to wring those words out of Taekwoon when only the two of them had been intimate, he still wanted to hear both of them say it right then and there, especially since they had little time left together before his enlistment.

 

Hakyeon honestly tried to stay firm, to not give in and let them seduce him before he'd heard the words he wanted to hear from them. But just as it had happened before every time the two of them had decided to team up against him, Hakyeon soon found himself between them...

          ...naked...defenseless...trembling...completely at their mercy...

...as they made him go crazy with the things they were doing to him.

 

Before long, Hakyeon found himself sitting on top of Taekwoon with his back against Taekwoon's bare chest and his dongsaeng's deliciously hard, thick, and long cock buried deep inside of him while Hongbin was pushing his hard and equally impressive length right in next to Taekwoon's from the front. After closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath to prepare himself for Hongbin's thrusts, Hakyeon was surprised by his dongsaeng's gentle and unhurried movements as he pushed past Taekwoon's cock and filled him up while leaning in and kissing him.

 

          "Aaah...what are you doing, Hongbin-ah?" Taekwoon asked in a raspy voice from behind Hakyeon's back; he seemed to have expected Hongbin to come at them harder and faster as well.

 

Hongbin waited for Hakyeon to meet his gaze before answering.

 

         "I'm giving Hakyeon hyung an answer," Hongbin explained in a soft voice, "I'm...making... _love_...to the two of you."

 

And though Hakyeon fully understood that the roundabout way in which Hongbin was trying to convey his feelings was already a big step for his dongsaeng, Hakyeon remained stubborn about wanting to hear him say the exact words - even though his eyes already started to betray him and fill with tears after Hongbin's virtual confession.

 

          "Please...," Hakyeon whispered while gazing into Hongbin's eyes, his tears already flowing freely down his cheeks at this point.

 

          "I...love you," Hongbin finally managed to say the words out loud, the truth and intensity of his feelings shining in his eyes, making Hakyeon's heart swell with happiness; though he'd already known, it was a completely different thing to hear him say it out loud and to his face.

 

Hakyeon's eyelids fluttered shut as he leaned his head back against Taekwoon's shoulder and started laughing happily. He'd waited for this moment so long, he simply couldn't help himself.

 

          "Now you're just feeling way too pleased with yourself," Hongbin teased him while grinning broadly, obviously enjoying Hakyeon's almost ridiculously happy reaction to his words.

 

          "Argh...you're such a sucker for sappy 'I love you's," Taekwoon commented, sounding amused.

 

          "Which reminds me...," Hakyeon replied calmly but in a firm voice, "...where's yours?"

 

          "Hm?" Taekwoon muttered, obviously trying to play dumb.

 

Knowing him much too well, Hakyeon didn't buy it and just continued to apply pressure.

 

          "You know what I'm talking about...hmm? Where's my sappy 'I love you' from _you?_...you know, the one I'm...how did you just put it...such a sucker for? Come on..." Hakyeon insisted, grinning all the while because he already knew he'd won from the very moment Hongbin had said the words to him; since the three of them were in this relationship together, there was no way Taekwoon could wriggle out of this once Hongbin had already succumbed to Hakyeon's wishes and done what he'd asked.

 

          "Aah...you really are the most stubborn and unyielding person I've ever known," Taekwoon said, though in contrast to his harsh sounding words his tone of voice was soft and gently resonating with laughter.

 

          "I love you, Hakyeon-ah," Taekwoon said, his voice just as filled with emotion as his eyes as he gently turned Hakyeon's face around toward him to gaze into his eyes before planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

 

          "And I love _you_ too, Hongbin-ah," Taekwoon suddenly added, addressing Hongbin, who couldn't seem to decide if he felt more shocked or pleased at hearing those unexpected words from Taekwoon without the latter having been forced to say them first.

 

          "Now you're just going overboard," Hongbin finally exclaimed, trying to act completely untouched, at which he failed miserably when his ears turned red and a much too pleased smile he couldn't seem to suppress stole over his face.

 

          "Come on...," Hakyeon gently urged Hongbin to answer his hyung, knowing it would be easier for him to express himself a second time after he'd already managed to say it to Hakyeon earlier.

 

          "Taekwoon hyung...I...err...I love you...too," Hongbin said shyly, blushing all the way up to the tips of his ears.

 

          "You two are sooo cute!" Hakyeon fanboyed, immediately earning grunts of displeasure from both of them in turn, which only made him burst into laughter.

 

           "All three of us are being ridiculous," Hongbin suddenly exclaimed, starting to laugh even harder than Hakyeon and pulling Taekwoon right along with him, which quickly resulted in all three of their still intimately connected bodies rocking with laughter.

 

          "Aaahh...stop...oughh....laughing...guys...," Hakyeon tried to stop them before he turned into a moaning mess between them as their bodies were simultaneously rocking his own while their cocks were still buried deep inside of him, slowly making him lose his mind.

 

And though none of them stopped laughing right away, they eventually managed to get themselves under control again and continued where they'd left off. Before long, the laughter that had filled them was replaced by longing and rapture...their bodies rocked by the intense sensations crashing over them...their hearts swelling and filling with happiness, intensified by the words they'd spoken to each other earlier.

 

After all three of them had finally collapsed against each other, completely spent and satisfied, and Taekwoon and Hongbin had pulled out of Hakyeon again, they cuddled for a long time afterward, kissing and holding each other close until their tired bodies eventually found the sleep they desperately needed after such an intense and emotional evening. And fully relishing every moment they got to spend contentedly wrapped in each other's warmth, they separately drifted into oblivion...to secretly meet again in each other's dreams.


	70. For His Own Good

Harin turned the faucet on and waited for the water to turn icy cold before scooping it up in her trembling hands and finally splashing it in her face. After drying herself off with the small hand towel and looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror longer than she probably should have, feeling dejected and pathetic, Harin finally returned to her small apartment's living room and the dinner she'd abandoned on the coffee table after only taking two bites.

 

She'd only just sat down at the small table - not having felt like eating at her larger kitchen table all by herself - and taken two bites of her takeout while waiting for her smart TV to turn on when she'd unexpectedly stumbled across a thumbnail of a video on the youtube channel the TV had last been tuned in to. Staring at a video titled VIXX RAKEN SWEET MOMENTS PT 1 which showed an all too familiar person, Harin had nearly spit out her food in shock.

 

Several days had already passed since she'd shown up on his doorstep and ended up drinking tea in his dorm's kitchen and discovering more than she'd ever wanted to know. In fact, there seemed to be quite a few things she'd discovered at VIXX's dorm, things that couldn't be considered normal. She was absolutely certain that she'd heard moaning sounds on her way to the kitchen when passing one of the member's door. And though she hadn't been able to tell whose voice she was hearing, it had been more than obvious what was going on behind that closed door. Of course, she could have completely misunderstood - and at first, she hadn't been sure about what she'd heard, either - but the look on Jaehwan's face as well as the fact that he'd quickly grabbed her arm to hurriedly pull her past the room from which the moaning sounds were coming, had confirmed her suspicion in the end.

 

And as she'd sat at the table carefully sipping at her hot tea while still trying to digest what she'd just found out and waiting for her cab to arrive - which Jaehwan had called for her - one of Jaehwan's fellow members, Ravi, had joined them in the kitchen. Since she'd spent the past years following all of Jaehwan's public appearances, she, of course, knew his fellow members' names, at least the stage names. 

 

In all honesty, Harin wouldn't have thought twice about the fact that Ravi looked angry upon finding her sitting at their dorm's table, since Jaehwan had brought her up without informing his fellow members, which was surely something frowned upon by idols who must value the privacy of their own four walls even more than regular people.

 

But when Jaehwan had suddenly shot up from the table as though he'd spilled his steaming hot tea on his lap - which he actually nearly had in shock at seeing his fellow member appear - ...

...when she'd watched him hurry toward him and take his hands in his own...

...when she'd fully examined the expressions on both of their faces while they'd silently, and much too intimately, communicated...

 

...that's when she'd realized that she wasn't just watching the interaction between fellow members or friends but two people who felt very connected...who were intimate...lovers.

 

At first, this notion had hit her in the gut so hard that she hadn't even been able to think clearly, hadn't even been able to ask Jaehwan about it or demand an explanation for this unthinkable situation - because  _what the fuck?_ since when was her ex-boyfriend gay??! And if he'd always been that way, then what did that make _her_? Had none of what they'd experienced together as a couple for all those years been real? Had he perhaps simply used her to try to appear like a normal, heterosexual guy when he'd been gay all along?

 

Seeing as she really hadn't been able to deal with any of it at the time, Harin had left her unfinished tea and fled the apartment as fast as she could, feeling relieved upon leaving the building to find that the cab Jaehwan had called was already waiting for her. That day, she'd left without looking back, having needed time to figure out what to do...how to feel about all of this...how to suppress the anger growing inside of her after having found out that he'd lied to her and perhaps used her for so many years.

 

And the problem wasn't that she was uncomfortable with men loving other men or women loving other women - though she wasn't someone to actually openly approve or support same-sex relationships, she wasn't someone who condemned them either. The real problem was that the love she'd held onto even years after they'd broken up...and the memories she'd cherished and held close to her heart for all these years...suddenly seemed like a lie.

 

Because how could someone who was actually gay feel about her the same way she'd felt about him? So, even if he hadn't deliberately lied to her or used her she still felt betrayed...he should have known himself better...should have realized that his love for her was different and not how it should be.

 

Even after trying to cool herself down with icy cold water, Harin's hands were still shaking when she returned and sat back down in front of the television to stare at Jaehwan's image on the thumbnail - and at the man who was stealing him from her right beside him - all the anger that had continuously piled up ever since she'd left VIXX's dorm that day eating away at her just as intensely as before. She could have dealt with Jaehwan falling in love again and moving on after they'd split up if he'd fallen in love with another _woman,_ she told herself. It was only natural to move on with one's life.

 

But she just couldn't accept the fact that he was actually with another male, with a fellow member at that. In her opinion, her ex was heading right down the road to disaster. How could being intimate with a fellow member and another male possibly be the right choice? She couldn't imagine that Ravi could make Jaehwan truly happy. Therefore, she felt she had to do something...had to come up with a plan to break them apart before Jaehwan's life unraveled because of his bad choices.

 

And it wasn't because she was jealous...she reasoned with herself...and it wasn't because she wanted to get back together with him either...she told herself...and it wasn't because she felt she could love him _better_...she lied to herself...

 

It was for his own good...because she was trying to help him, to save him...when he was too caught up to even realize that he needed saving...


	71. Dirty

Wonsik's eyes opened very slowly, his senses not fully alert yet. Something seemed to have torn him from his sleep, but he wasn't sure what it had been, his mind still too sluggish to come up with a satisfactory answer...until the nightmare he'd had abruptly came back to him in a flash.

 

Suddenly he remembered, though he rather wished he hadn't. He shouldn't be thinking about her anymore, every second he spent wasting his thoughts on Jaehwan's ex was a second too much! After she'd left their dorm that morning, Jaehwan had spent the rest of the day reassuring Wonsik that she didn't mean anything to him anymore, that he only wanted...only needed...Wonsik. Even though Wonsik had already understood his heart from the moment Jaehwan had taken his hands in his and had silently communicated how he felt, it still had felt wonderful to hear him say it over and over again.

 

At one point, however, Wonsik had finally stopped him from repeating himself, mainly because he'd felt guilty for not stopping him earlier, not because he'd gotten tired of hearing it - he would never get tired of it! After Wonsik had explained that he'd trusted him and understood him from the first second he'd held his hands and gazed into his eyes, he'd thought that the whole issue about Jaehwan's ex was completely over and done with - that's how it should have been. So why the fuck had he just dreamt about her?!

 

And while he still struggled to recall the exact content of his nightmare,  _one_  aspect of it still stuck in his mind very clearly and made the fine hairs at the nape of his neck stand up: the fear and anxiety he'd felt as she'd violently clawed at his Jaehwannie trying to tear him away from him.

 

Wonsik quickly closed his eyes again and snuggled closer to his boyfriend's back. The previous night, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms while spooning, both of them too tired to do anything but sleep. Wonsik buried his nose in Jaehwan's soft hair and slowly breathed in while pushing up against his back, needing to hold him as close as he could and drown in his scent in order to get rid of the nightmare still plaguing his whole being.

 

After nuzzling the nape of Jaehwan's neck a few times - a few strands of Jaehwan's hair gently tickling his nose all the while - Wonsik caught himself laughing.

 

          "Is your nose itching again?" Jaehwan asked sleepily before yawning so widely that he could have swallowed a whole hamburger in one go, "You already know it'll tickle...but you still have to nuzzle my hair, hmm?"

 

          "That's not why I'm laughing, though," Wonsik quickly explained, already amused and looking forward to his boyfriend's reaction to his explanation.

 

          "What do you mean? _Of_ _course_ it is. Why else would you laugh?!" Jaehwan insisted.

 

          "Because your hair stinks!" Wonsik blurted out, laughing even harder.

 

          "What?" Jaehwan replied, sounding positively outraged, albeit in the cutest possible way, "Then why would you bury your nose in it over and over again?!"

 

Wonsik pulled Jaehwan back against him again and held him securely to his own body when Jaehwan actually tried to wriggle out of his embrace and make a run for it, probably feeling embarrassed because of his smelly hair.

 

          "Lemmego...and stop...stop smelling my hair already," Jaehwan pleaded with him, still struggling in his arms as Wonsik once again buried his nose in his boyfriend's hair and inhaled deeply.

 

          "I don't care if your hair's smelly...I just want to experience you, all of you," Wonsik said, his voice low and rumbling, his warm breath mingling with Jaehwan's soft hair.

 

          "Whoa...," Jaehwan squealed and jerked away again when Wonsik's prominent erection pressed up against his back, "...are you serious? You just told me I'm smelly...and I feel dirty because I didn't have time to shower yesterday after my workout."

 

          "You mean the workout that you did for exactly ten minutes before giving up again because you thought it was boring?" Wonsik asked, highly amused.

 

          "It was more than 10 minutes...," Jaehwan complained, sulking slightly, "...it was fifteen!"

 

          "Waaah...big deal," Wonsik burst out laughing; that was _sooo_ like Jaehwan to insist that he'd done it for 5 minutes longer, as if that really made a big difference!

 

          "The _point_ is...," Jaehwan quickly explained, "...that although I usually don't sweat a lot, I did yesterday for some reason. I guess I wasn't feeling my best...Anyway, I agree that I'm smelly, so..."

 

          "So? So you don't want to do it because you're embarrassed?" Wonsik interrupted him, grinning all over his face because of how adorable his boyfriend was being - which was making him want to jump his bones even more.

 

          "Okay, then let's do _this_ ," Wonsik said, grabbing Jaehwan tightly around the waist and hauling him out of bed and onto his feet before the latter could even react.

 

Jaehwan had no fight in him when Wonsik pulled him to his feet and steered him straight into their dorm's larger bathroom and into the walk-in shower with see-through walls.

 

          "So, let's get you cleaned up _first_...and then we can get you dirty all over again," Wonsik whispered into his ear, noticing how his low and suggestive tone of voice made shivers run up and down Jaehwan's spine.

 

          "Wait...," Jaehwan complained when Wonsik started to undress him, lifting his top over his head before pulling down his pajama pants right along with his briefs, "...the blinds aren't drawn, what if someone sees us?"

 

Wonsik's gaze swiftly traveled to the large window directly facing one of the see-through walls of the large shower. Though their dorm was located at a higher level of the building, it would have been possible for someone to see them from the outside because there was a small hill opposite their building from which one could look into their bathroom. But seeing as there weren't any walkways there and that person would actually have to fight their way through dense bushes, there really was no reason to assume that anyone would be there to see them in the first place.

 

Jaehwan immediately relaxed again after Wonsik pointed this out to him. After waiting for Wonsik to rid himself of his own clothing, Jaehwan let himself be pushed up face-first against the see-through shower wall and let Wonsik have his way with him as he simultaneously lathered his backside up with soap under the sparingly running shower before continuously sliding his finger into his hole and sticking his tongue into his ear.

 


	72. Showered

Jaehwan started moaning with every movement of Wonsik's hand as the latter started sliding his finger in deeper and deeper before adding a second and a third, Jaehwan's warm breath quickly steaming up the see-through surface of the shower wall against which his cheek was pressed up.

 

          "Aaahh...oughhh...please... _do it already_...aaahh...," Jaehwan pleaded in a breathless voice, unable to help himself; Wonsik had been teasing him for over twenty minutes already without taking him and it was slowly making him go crazy.

 

But instead of listening and granting his request, Wonsik apparently decided to tease him further - probably because he'd dared to ask for more in the first place. Before Jaehwan even realized what was going on, Wonsik grabbed his wrists and pinned them securely against the shower wall right above his head, holding them tightly in place with only one hand...while the other trailed oh so slowly and smoothly down the back of his body until it reached the very place it had already tortured for the past twenty minutes.

 

Jaehwan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing himself for yet another round of teasing. He could feel Wonsik's breath ghosting across his neck right before his soft lips fastened themselves to the most sensitive spot and gently started to suck. At the same time, the very tip of one of his fingers started leisurely circling the outer rim of his hole, the scraping sensation of the somewhat sharp edge of Wonsik's fingernail across the sensitive skin of his anus only adding to his arousal.

 

Jaehwan already felt beyond lost to his boyfriend's touch - his knees weak and shaking beneath his equally trembling upper body - when Wonsik finally pushed three fingers in deeply and started curling them and stroking Jaehwan's inner walls so intensely that he couldn't hold himself up anymore. Before he could slide straight to the floor of the shower, though, Wonsik quickly pulled his fingers out, let go of his wrists, and slung both arms around his waist to help him support his weight.

 

          " _Someone's_ very weak this morning," Wonsik teasingly whispered into his ear from behind while hugging his body tightly against his own to help keep him standing.

 

          "And _whose_ fault is _that_?" Jaehwan threw back at him accusingly, though his voice held no real conviction. Even if it was entirely Wonsik's fault for making him feel this way, he'd let him do it over and over again, secretly loving the way his boyfriend's touch made him turn utterly weak and defenseless in his arms.

 

          "What? Are you implying it's _my_ fault? What did _I_ do?" Wonsik replied in mock outrage, pretending to be completely innocent, though Jaehwan was one hundred percent sure that he knew _exactly_ just how intensely he always affected him.

 

          "Stop pretending...," Jaehwan whispered, his voice breathy and lacking strength because of the things Wonsik had done to tease him, "...you know _exactly_ what you do to me."

 

          "What do I do to you?" Wonsik mimicked Jaehwan's breathless voice, his lips so close to Jaehwan's ear that they gently tickled his skin as they moved.

 

          "You _know_ ," Jaehwan simply replied.

 

          "Tell me anyway," Wonsik insisted.

 

          "Tell me," Wonsik whispered once again when Jaehwan merely shook his head in response, too embarrassed to say the words out loud. "Please...Baby...I want to know...," Wonsik asked in a gentle, very persuasive tone before peppering his shoulder blades with soft kisses, making it impossible for Jaehwan to resist any longer.

 

          "Y-you make me...lose myself...and...drown in you...I'm drowning in you...," Jaehwan answered, his voice low and breathy, his heart beating a million miles an hour; it was a completely different thing to say it to his face, to admit just how badly Wonsik had already gotten to him in the relatively little time they'd been together...how madly he made him crave his touch.

 

Jaehwan thought his heart might actually burst while waiting for Wonsik's reply. But instead of merely responding with words, Wonsik gently turned Jaehwan around to face him and planted a sweet yet at the same time slightly seductive kiss on his lips before answering.

 

          "You're right...I _do_ know what I do to you. But it's nothing compared to what _you_ do to _me_ every second of the day...You make me go crazy when I see you...you make me go crazy when I don't...you make me lose my mind when I'm with you...the noises you make...the expressions on your face...the lines of your body...you make me want to take you every time you make a cute gesture...which is fucking awkward because you do it all the time, especially in public!...and seeing you with someone else makes me so jealous that I want to tear that person into shreds...so I think it's safe to say that my affliction is worse!"

 

Jaehwan was speechless, staring at his boyfriend with eyes wide open. Never in a million years had he thought he'd hear such words from Wonsik, who usually liked to play it cool but had just downright admitted being just as much love's bitch as Jaehwan was. Whereas Wonsik made Jaehwan utterly weak, Jaehwan drove Wonsik absolutely crazy in return.

 

          "Well...then I guess we're perfect for each other," Jaehwan finally said, grinning up at Wonsik, who grinned back at him for a second before his expression suddenly became serious again.

 

          "Yes, we are...So promise me that...that you'll never leave me...," Wonsik whispered in a low rumble, his voice obviously affected by his emotions, "...because I don't think I could stand...I...I can't bear the thought...of not being with you."

 

          "I promise," Jaehwan replied, feeling the need to immediately reassure him because the expression on Wonsik's face was so serious; Jaehwan wondered why Wonsik suddenly seemed so on edge, seeing as he'd been perfectly fine before they'd gone to bed the previous night.

 

Wonsik seemed to have read the curiosity on Jaehwan's face, abruptly answering his question even though he hadn't even asked him.

 

          "I'm sorry...I just...I had a really bad dream."

 

          "About what?" Jaehwan asked, his curiosity at its peak; what kind of dream could possibly make him apprehensive about Jaehwan leaving him?

 

          "I don't really remember all of it...but it was about your...your ex...trying to tear us away from each other...I know, I know...there's no reason for it, but that's just...just what I dreamt."

 

          "So, you don't really trust me? Isn't that what your dream means?" Jaehwan replied, not even trying to hide the frown on his face that soon turned into a pout; he thought he'd finally gotten Wonsik to understand that she didn't mean anything to him anymore.

 

          "No, that's not it at all...," Wonsik said quickly, defensively holding his palms out to Jaehwan, "...please don't misunderstand...it's not about me not trusting you."

 

          "You might _think_ you trust me, but subconsciously you _don't_ or you wouldn't have dreamt such a thing," Jaehwan insisted, his pout becoming even more prominent.

 

          "Can you please stop pouting and telling me what I feel...," Wonsik said softly, sighing deeply before continuing, "...I think I dreamt that because I don't trust _her_. And no, I'm not trying to put her down or anything...but I can't forget the look on her face...I'm sure she has her suspicions about us...and I know it's my fault for not having been able to control my jealousy, so I'm really sorry...Anyway, what I'm trying to say is...that she seemed very upset and as if she...might try to do something...about it...So, I completely, one hundred percent trust _you_ but I guess I'm afraid that she might still find a way to try and make us break up."

 

Jaehwan didn't reply, suddenly lost in his thoughts after hearing Wonsik's explanation. It had really never even occurred to him that Harin would ever try to get between them - even if she'd figured out that Jaehwan and Wonsik were an item. He'd never seen her as the kind of person who would do such a thing. Because contrary to Wonsik who had just clearly said that he didn't trust her, Jaehwan couldn't help but feel the complete opposite. Perhaps it was because they'd dated for such a long time and he'd gotten to trust her and know her very well. At any rate, he just couldn't picture her doing anything bad to him or Wonsik even if she happened to feel jealous.

 

          "I understand...what you're trying to say...but I can't see her trying to break us apart..she's not like that," Jaehwan finally said, "And please don't misunderstand and get jealous...I'm only saying this because I strongly believe that she's not a bad person...so don't read anything into this and say it's because I still have feelings for her, okay?"

 

          "Okay...I won't," Wonsik assured him, though his voice seemed strained and he looked a bit down all of a sudden.

 

          "Let's not talk about this anymore...," Jaehwan abruptly changed the subject, needing to get back the Wonsik from just a few minutes ago, the one who had felt good and excited and who had made him go weak in the knees - instead of the one who always seemed to be greatly affected by the subject of his ex.

 

Not giving his boyfriend even a moment longer to soak in his dejectedness, Jaehwan took his face between his palms and peppered his lips with kisses, pouting up cutely at him every single time after pulling back, until Wonsik seemed unable to stop himself from bursting out with his extremely unique sounding and infectious laughter.

 

          "Stop being so goddamned cute...or so help me God!" Wonsik finally managed after getting himself back under control, though his laughter hadn't completely died down yet.

 

          "Why...," Jaehwan asked, highly pleased about having gotten Wonsik's laughter back so quickly; his cute charms never seemed to fail him when he needed them most, "...will you be unable to control yourself if I continue being this cute?"

 

          "I'm _already_ unable to control myself," Wonsik whispered in his ear before whirling Jaehwan's body back around and pressing him up against the shower wall once again; his amusement from just a moment before had obviously been completely drowned out by the desire that had taken over.

 

And before Jaehwan could even complain - which he wouldn't have dreamt of doing in a million years! - his boyfriend soon had him crying out in pleasure, Wonsik's thick, long, and extremely hard cock continuously plunging deep into him...before pulling nearly all the way out again...hitting his sweet spot over and over again - large areas of the shower wall quickly starting to film over from the intense heat generated by their desperate panting and their melding bodies.

 

Jaehwan's emotional state was just as big of a mess as his constitution, his body and mind shaken badly by the ecstasy that hit him with every single of his boyfriend's intense thrusts. Finally, Wonsik straightened Jaehwan's back and pulled him so tightly against his front while fucking into him that the angle at which Wonsik's cock was buried in his hole made his already breathless moans turn into helpless whimpers.

 

When Wonsik slowed down his pace and gently turned Jaehwan's head to the side so that he could kiss him and slip him the tongue from behind while slowly pushing deep into him, Jaehwan finally came completely undone, his body convulsing along with the orgasm that swept over him. He could feel the muscles in his ass tighten around Wonsik's still moving cock a few moments before his boyfriend followed him and released his warm wetness into his hole.

 

Panting and trembling from having used up all their energy, both of them slid to the floor of the large shower only moments later, clutching at each other for support and sharing deep, intimate kisses beneath the small stream of lukewarm water pouring down on them from the shower head above. And though the tears of emotion that started trailing down both of their cheeks at nearly the same moment were immediately swept away by the water showering down on them, each of them knew how much the other had been moved by the intensity of their private and highly intimate moment.

 

          Little did they imagine that their moment hadn't been as private as they'd thought.

 

 


	73. Not So Private

Harin hastily pulled the keychain from her jeans pocket, struggled for a good two minutes to fit the key into the lock of her apartment door - her hands, which were covered in bloody scratch marks, shaking like crazy - and finally disappeared inside, slamming the door closed behind her.

 

Once out of other people's line of sight, she leaned against the door at her back and let her body slide down the wooden surface until she ended up sitting on the floor slumped against her door at a weird angle. Not caring in the least that she was hunched over in an uncomfortable position, Harin simply remained as she was, letting the entirety of what she'd gone through and witnessed in the past hour sink in at last. Only now, when she was completely alone again, could she think back to everything she'd seen...now that she didn't have to be afraid to completely and utterly lose it in front of other people.

 

When she'd set out that morning in the hopes of finding some kind of leverage to use to her advantage in order to persuade the one Jaehwan had chosen over her to break up with him so that he'd come back to her again, she hadn't even dreamt of actually acquiring the footage now saved on her camera's memory card. Crawling through dense bushes and brambles - scraping her skin and leaving behind strands of hair that got tangled in branches along the way - she'd headed toward the only spot from which she'd possibly have a shot at catching them on camera if she was lucky enough to have a clear view into one of the rooms facing the hill. 

 

Without really having expected to have any such luck when she'd first set out, she'd actually ended up getting a lucky break and seeing the two people she'd been hoping to catch enter the dorm's clearly visible bathroom just as she'd been about to give up, leave her hiding space, and head back down the hill. And though she hadn't been absolutely certain at first that she'd caught the right two people, one tiny adjustment to her rather expensive camera as she'd quickly increased the zoom had sufficed to capture the two of them so clearly and up close that she'd felt shocked by the high quality and proximity, feeling almost as if she were right there in the room with them watching them from only a few meters away.

 

Even now, Harin almost couldn't believe how close she'd felt to them...how surreal it had been to watch them through the camera...to see the things they'd done...or rather the things Ravi had done to _her_ Jaehwan while she'd secretly watched and tried to do her best to keep the camera steady because her hands had abruptly started shaking so badly from the shock of seeing all that. Because, even though she'd desperately wanted to close her eyes while recording and not see the kind of things they did together, the whole experience had been like one of those train wrecks that one just can't stop watching.

 

And the only small mercy during the whole recording had been that she at least hadn't been able to hear the sounds coming out of Jaehwan's mouth...though from what she'd witnessed alone, her imagination could probably come up with just the right kind of desperate moans if she gave it a shot - which she absolutely refused! In any case, _one_ thing had become very, very clear to her that morning: Jaehwan had been completely at Ravi's mercy...and he'd actually appeared to enjoy every second of it to a point that clearly seemed unhealthy, seeing as Ravi had violently thrust into him over and over and over again at one point - which obviously couldn't be good for Jaehwan's body. Having witnessed all this, it made things even harder for Harin to bear; because for the first time, she was fully aware of the enormous hold Ravi had over him.

 

          Yet another reason for her to quickly find a way to disenthrall Jaehwan from him.

 

Their relationship had to end! Harin would make sure to find a private moment to let Ravi know just how determined she was...to show him a copy of the footage she'd taken and tell him to break up with Jaehwan as soon as possible if he didn't want the video to circle the internet - and warn him not to tell Jaehwan that she was involved in their break up. 

 

          And there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Ravi would do just as she'd asked.

 

Not feeling the slightest doubt or regret - this was all for Jaehwannie's own good, after all - Harin pulled herself back up from the floor to prepare and put her plan into action, her hands no longer shaking in light of the new strength, courage, and justification she'd found.

 

          The justification that unless she freed Jaehwan from Ravi's overpowering clutches, he would end up giving his body and soul to his domineering boyfriend until there was nothing left.


	74. Comfort

Hakyeon grabbed the few pieces of casual clothing he'd chosen to pack and carefully fit them into the small bag which was already filled with various toiletries and other personal items, such as pictures of his family and of his most recent fan meeting, showing him and his fans as they'd posed together at the end of the event. Since he had no real idea what to expect when he enlisted in the military the next day, he'd felt he needed all the strength and courage he could get, which was why he'd decided to take along the few pictures he'd packed. When things got hard or times got lonely, he would take the pictures out and let his family (which of course included all of VIXX) and his fans console him.

 

Hakyeon was still in the middle of packing when he was suddenly interrupted by the sound of his doorbell ringing. A bit startled, as he'd been so deep in thought while packing - though he shouldn't have been because he was actually expecting Wonsik's visit, having invited him over to have lunch with him earlier - Hakyeon quickly made his way to his front door and pulled it open to invite Wonsik inside.

 

          "Hey," Hakyeon greeted him and patiently waited for Wonsik to make it past his threshold; he had to admit, he found it a bit odd how Wonsik seemed to be so out of it for a moment that he obviously hadn't even noticed the door being pulled open right in front of him.

 

          "What's up?" Hakyeon decided to get right to the point, especially since Wonsik looked like death warmed over "Are you not feeling well?"

 

Instead of answering, Wonsik finally moved past him into the apartment, the expression on his face indicating that it must have taken a lot out of him at that moment to even make his body move forward. Immediately, Hakyeon was alarmed. Something seemed very off about him; he was so far removed from being himself that it had warning bells going off in Hakyeon's mind. Something terrible must have happened.

 

Hakyeon quickly shut the door behind them, carefully grabbed Wonsik by one of his elbows, and steered him straight over to his grey couch, where he gently pushed him down onto one the seat cushions - right next to the giant light brown teddy bear that always occupied the last seat cushion on his couch. Noticing that Wonsik still hadn't even taken his hands out of his jacket pocket and thinking his slightly hunched over position looked uncomfortable, Hakyeon decided to help him be more comfortable and gently pulled his hands from his pockets for him, since Wonsik hadn't even moved a muscle in his trancelike state. Hakyeon abruptly wondered how he'd even safely made it to his doorstep in the state he was in.

 

When Hakyeon freed Wonsik's left hand from his jacket pocket, a multitude of things happened all at once: A small, black flash drive dropped from Wonsik's hand, accompanied by a sound that could only be described as a weak and almost inaudible whimper, Wonsik's whole body suddenly started to tremble like crazy, and tears were all too quickly filling his eyes, threatening to spill over at any second.

 

Hakyeon found himself speechlessly gazing at the tears glistening in his dongsaeng's eyes and at the heart-wrenching quivering of his bottom lip. And as much as he was aware of the fact that Wonsik didn't like it when he touched him, he also instinctively knew that right at that moment Wonsik needed him...needed his support...needed to lean on his strength.

 

Hakyeon didn't hesitate. After quickly sitting down right beside him, he slung his arm around Wonsik's shoulder and gently pulled him against his chest, letting him finally release the tears that had gathered and needed to spill before Wonsik could get the pain and grief that were obviously weighing on him out of his system and find some relief. Not even bothering to pick up the flash drive that had fallen to the floor and remained ominously resting at their feet or asking him what was making him cry so miserably, Hakyeon simply held him close and let him weep because he knew that _that_ was what Wonsik needed.

 

When Wonsik finally stopped crying and shaking in his arms after a long while, Hakyeon quickly pulled back his arm from around his shoulder, sensing that Wonsik would soon feel uncomfortable about his touch again now that he seemed to be gradually finding back to himself again.

 

After waiting patiently for Wonsik to get comfortable enough to actually start opening up to him about what had happened to make him so sad, Hakyeon finally found Wonsik ready to confide in him.

 

          "Can I...t-tell you something?" Wonsik timidly asked while sniffing slightly.

 

          "You know you can tell me _anything_ ," Hakyeon replied in a soft, comforting voice.

 

          "You're right...actually, I already knew that...Otherwise, I wouldn't have come...even though you invited me over...," Wonsik replied, his low voice sounding rough from having cried so much, "...I...I'm being threatened."

 

          "What?" Hakyeon cried out and immediately jumped up from the couch as though he'd been stung by a bee, his voice too loud and too high even for his own liking.

 

          "Sorry...sorry...I just...I wasn't expecting that," Hakyeon quickly apologized and sat back down, realizing that his being hysterical was the  _last_ thing Wonsik needed when he'd come there seeking his comfort; Hakyeon had simply been too shocked to control his reaction.

 

He'd already expected that something bad must have happened. But that someone had the nerve to actually  _threaten_ his Wonsik, one of _his kids_ , was something he'd never imagined.

 

          "Can you tell me what happened...in detail?" Hakyeon softly asked, trying to keep himself calm; because instead of talking in a gentle manner, he wanted nothing more than to scream down the throat of the person who had the gall to do something like this to Wonsik.

 

          "Do you see that...flash drive...on the floor?" Wonsik asked and then continued once Hakyeon had nodded in reply, "S-someone gave it to me a short while ago and threatened me with it...saying I should...I should break up with...Jaehwannie...and not tell him about any of t-this...or she would release the...the footage."

 

          "What?...Someone...she? And why is this about Jaehwannie?...What's on the flash drive, Wonsik-ah?" Hakyeon asked, feeling above confused all of a sudden. Why would anyone want Wonsik to break up with Jaehwan...and how the hell did anyone even know about them in the first place? None of it made sense to him.

 

          "At first, I thought she must be kidding...or that she must be deluding herself, thinking she actually had anything to threaten me with...because it's not like we haven't been careful about keeping our relationship secret...at least outside the dorm," Wonsik said, his voice sounding stable and not shaking in the slightest until he finally went on, "...b-but then...after I g-got into the car and drove to your place...I figured I ought to check the drive...j-just in case...so I used the laptop I'd brought along...and I...I w-watched...Oh god..."

 

Wonsik's sentence hung ominously in the air between them and for a moment his dongsaeng seemed utterly unable to utter another syllable, his body once again trembling so badly that Hakyeon found himself hugging him close to comfort him again.

 

          "Hyung...," Wonsik finally continued while tears streamed down his cheeks again, "...I don't know h-how she did it, but...but she filmed us while we were...w-while we were having...s-sex...in the bathroom early this morning...she filmed the whole thing...i-in HD...and up close...and she wants to make it public...if I...if I don't break up with...J-jaehwannie..."

 

          "Hold on...can't you tell me who _she_ is for starters? Who are we even talking about?" Hakyeon asked, concentrating only on the part about _who_ was doing this to them at that moment because his mind couldn't even fully process the other part yet! Because  _who the fuck_ would even do something like that?!

 

          "J-jaehwannie's ex," Wonsik simply explained.

 

Suddenly, Hakyeon remembered...

 

...Jaehwannie in tears...

...Jaehwannie confiding in him about how he was going through a really tough time deciding his future because it meant leaving her behind...

...Jaehwannie asking him for advice...

...Jaehwannie miserably crying on his shoulder because of his beloved Harin...

 

But that had been years and years ago. From what Jaehwan had told him about her, Hakyeon had thought she was a very sweet, a very lovable girl. But even the sweetest girl on earth, he realized, might turn into the evilest version of herself when feeling threatened by someone else being with her loved one. Be that as it may, Hakyeon would not forgive her for what she'd done, no matter the circumstances that had led to her behavior. This was just not something one did!

 

One did _not_ sneak around to secretly take intimate footage!

One did _not_ watch two people being intimate in the first place!

And one certainly did  _not_ try to hurt the people Hakyeon loved!

 

          It was simply unforgivable!

 

          "Let me ask you something..., " Hakyeon abruptly said, making sure that Wonsik looked him straight into the eyes before he continued, "...would her threat really make you break up with him? Would you let her bully you and let her decide your life for you because of what she's holding over your head?"

 

          "Are you crazy...?" Wonsik burst out in reply, "...are you suggesting that I go against her?...Were you even listening to me?...You can't even imagine how horrible that footage is, hyung!...What about VIXX?...What about our parents?...And how could I do this to _him_?!"

 

          "So tell me...," Hakyeon calmly replied, "...what will happen if you break up with him?"

 

Wonsik opened his mouth only to shut it a moment later, obviously no good words coming to him to explain the alternative result of letting her win.

 

          "Let me tell you what will happen then...," Hakyeon filled in for him, "...and believe my words as one of the people who know the two of you best...You'll break up with Jaehwannie...completely out of the blue, from his perspective, since you can't tell him what's actually going on...which will only end up hurting the one you love the most so badly that he won't be able to bounce back from it...which will, in turn, lead to the two of you being absolutely miserable...which will inevitably make everyone around you miserable as well because they won't even be able to help you."

 

          "I understand what you're saying...," Wonsik replied, his voice sounding strained, "...but what do you expect me to do about this? If I don't do as she asks, we'll have a full-blown scandal on our hands from which VIXX might never recover...and our families' reputations will be destroyed by malicious people just looking for a chance to pounce on something like this. In light of all the damage it could cause, how can I even contemplate not doing as she asks? I don't want to be responsible for destroying all of us."

 

          "I understand...believe me, I _do_...," Hakyeon said while gently patting his shoulder, "...and as VIXX's leader, it should actually be _me_ saying all those things to _you._ But I don't _want_ to be a leader now. Right here, right now...after seeing you cry like this...can't I just _for once_ not be the leader, but just be a hyung who loves you very much?...I know, I know...I'm being cheesy...but it's true. And because I love you and Jaehwannie so much...I can't even bear the thought of what breaking up will do to you."

 

          "I know...I understand how you feel...and...for what it's worth...," Wonsik replied, pausing for a moment as if the words he wanted to say were difficult for him to get out, "...thanks...and...I...love you...too."

 

          "Waah...what was that last bit? Could you please repeat it?" Hakyeon cried out excitedly, teasing him, knowing all too well that these words, especially directed at him, didn't come to Wonsik easily.

 

          "Don't push it," Wonsik warned in a low voice while a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

 

          "Okay, I won't," Hakyeon immediately acquiesced, already more than content and smiling overly brightly because of Wonsik's words of endearment.

 

          "Hyung...," Wonsik said after a few moments of silence, his mien once again deadly serious, "...I don't know what to do."

 

Hakyeon was silent for a long moment, a multitude of things going through his head. After what seemed like an eternity, he gently grabbed Wonsik's shoulders, turned him toward him so that he could look him deeply in the eyes, and asked the question he needed an answer to before he could decide how to proceed.

 

          "Do you trust me?" Hakyeon asked, his tone of voice utterly serious.

 

          "I do," Wonsik answered without even a hint of doubt, which made Hakyeon's heart soar.

 

          "Then do something for me," Hakyeon started and continued when Wonsik simply nodded, "Don't tell _anyone_ , even Jaehwan, about this. And don't break up with him, of course. I know it's hard to keep this from him, especially since he still thinks she's a sweet and innocent girl. But I have my reasons. So please trust me...and let me take care of this."

 

          "But how are you going to take care of this? You're leaving for the military _tomorrow_!" Wonsik argued, "As much as I'd love to let you take care of this, there's simply no _time_."

 

          "I'll _make_ time," Hakyeon replied stubbornly, meaning it with all his heart.

 

Wonsik seemed to believe him at last and didn't try to dissuade him further. And as soon as he'd asked Wonsik to leave so that he could seek out the only person who could put a stop to this utter madness, Hakyeon picked up the flash drive, pocketed it, and got ready to find and persuade Jaehwan's ex. And as much as he would have loved to unleash his fury upon her and rip her head off for the evil things she'd done, Hakyeon knew that he would have to keep his cool and try to talk her out of threatening Wonsik. 

 

          Because the only way to catch this bitch of a bee was with the sweetest honey.

 

 


	75. Promise

Harin turned the corner leading right up to her apartment building - her arms laden with plastic grocery bags from just having gone shopping - when she nearly dropped the bags she was holding in shock upon finding an unwanted visitor apparently waiting for her in front of her building's entrance.

 

Not knowing in the least what to expect but fearing deep down that it must be related to her recent encounter with Ravi, Harin's legs started to shake from nerves as she made her way over to VIXX's N, who stood watching her closely with a somewhat guarded expression on his face.

 

          "Annyeonghaseyo...," Harin politely greeted him with a little nod of the head, "...you're Jaehwannie's fellow member, aren't you. It's N-ssi, isn't it?"

 

          "Ne...annyeonghaseyo...And you're his **_ex_** -girlfriend, Harin-ssi, right?...Bangabseubnida," N replied politely, though she didn't at all appreciate the way he'd emphasized the part about her being his 'ex'.

 

          "It's nice to meet you, too," she nevertheless returned the polite greeting, "...but what are you doing here? And how did you even know where I live?"

 

          "Oh...sorry, yes, I guess you must be wondering about that. But can we perhaps get inside first so that we can talk more comfortably?" N suggested, unabashedly inviting himself into her home in such a polite way and with such an open, friendly smile on his face that it left Harin no possible way to refuse him without being rude - which she wouldn't have minded one bit if she weren't so aware of the fact that this was someone very close and dear to her Jaehwannie and she had to treat him with respect for her ex's sake.

 

          "Err...sure...please come on up...I'll make us some coffee or tea if you prefer that," Harin offered, trying her best to remain calm and friendly, though her heart was beating much too fast for comfort and her hands had started to sweat like crazy.

 

          "Thank you...how nice of you to invite me in," N said while holding his hands out to her, offering to carry the bags for her, "...here, let me help you with these."

 

          "Errr....no...that's okay...," Harin responded quickly while moving the bags out of his reach so that he couldn't grab them, not wanting him to feel the wetness on them and knowing that her hands were sweating.

 

          "Oh...all right...if you're sure," N simply replied, seeming just as content with not having to take the weight off her hands.

 

          "Yes, I'm sure...thank you all the same...If you'll follow me then," Harin answered and lead the way into her building, into the nearest elevator, and up to the 4th floor.

 

After getting off the elevator and walking down the long hallway to the very last door on the left, Harin swiftly took out her keychain and unlocked the door, hoping that her unwanted visitor wasn't paying too much attention to how badly her hand was shaking as she inserted the key into her front door's lock.

 

          "Come on in...," Harin offered, moving aside to let him pass before closing the door behind them, "...Why don't you take a seat...I'll make us some coffee if that sounds okay," she offered, directing him over to the three-seater in the corner of her living room and heading toward the kitchen after he nodded in reply.

 

After taking her time in the kitchen with her back turned to her guest - enabling her to breath deeply and calm her nerves down a bit before returning to him - Harin brought the two cups of freshly brewed coffee over to the small coffee table and carefully set them down, feeling grateful for the fact that her hands were no longer shaking. After asking him if he needed milk or sugar, which he declined, saying he liked drinking it black every now and then, the two of them sat down on the three-seater and prepared to talk, facing each other.

 

          "So...how did you know where to find me?" Harin asked, feeling the need to get to the bottom of this complete mystery, seeing as the only one who could have known where she lived was Jaehwannie; he'd accompanied her down to the taxi the morning she'd visited VIXX's dorm and could have overheard her giving the driver the address through the slightly open window, "...Did Jaehwannie tell you?"

 

N simply shook his head in reply and waited another long moment before finally answering her question, almost as if he was trying to make his reply more dramatic.

 

          "No... _Wonsik_ did," N replied in a low, very meaningful tone while obviously gauging her reaction.

 

And although she always referred to him by using his stage name, Ravi, she'd read up enough on Jaehwan's fellow members ever since realizing that he was sleeping with one of them to know their real names and understand just who N was talking about. And just as N had probably planned all along, the dramatic way in which he'd let her know he'd spoken to Ravi did not leave her cold, her hand holding the coffee cup flinching just enough to spill a few drops of her coffee right onto her jeans.

 

          "Wonsik told me he followed the two of you outside and that he was actually just a few meters away when you gave the driver the address...Which was a blessing for me...because I honestly don't know what I would have done otherwise," N said, suddenly looking deadly serious as he gazed straight into her eyes.

 

          "I don't understand...why is it so important to see me...why are you even here?" Harin replied, though of course, she knew there could only be _one_ reason for VIXX's leader to appear on her doorstep.

 

          "Oh, I think you understand perfectly," N answered, his voice sounding strained; in fact, the expression on his face seemed to imply that he was trying his best to stay calm and not let her see the anger he was feeling.

 

Suddenly, although she'd long suspected it to be the case, there was no doubt left in her mind that Ravi had run and told his leader everything she'd done and threatened him with.

 

          "So  _what_ if I understand?...that's not going to change anything. If you think you can just come here and try to intimidate me or threaten me, then you've definitely come to the wrong place...I'm only doing this for his own good...and this is the only way I could come up with to get him away from...from someone who isn't good enough for him...and who will only end up making him miserable," Harin tried to defend herself while lifting her chin up in defiance to show him once and for all that she wasn't going to give up just because he dropped by and threatened her.

 

Instead of getting angrier and lashing out at her - the reaction she would have expected from him - the last traces of anger suddenly vanished completely from N's face, the only emotions now showing sadness and despair, his eyes actually starting to fill with tears as they looked at her imploringly.

 

♦♦♦ 

 

This wasn't at all how Hakyeon had pictured his visit. Ever since finding out what Jaehwan's ex had done, his emotions had been all over the place. At first, he'd felt an overwhelming urge to slap her across the face so hard that her cheek would ache for an entire week. Once the extreme rage he'd felt had subsided somewhat, he'd planned on using all kinds of tricks and reverse psychology to get her right where he wanted her, planning to kill her with sweetness so that she wouldn't even know what hit her.

 

And yet, here he was...on enemy territory...about to break down right in front of her and actually start crying. Because no matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts to the back of his mind and remain calm and calculating to get what he wanted from her, he simply couldn't stop his fears from getting the better of him. The fears...

 

...that he couldn't persuade her to leave Jaehwan and Wonsik alone, no matter how nicely he asked her...

...that she wouldn't care in the least, no matter how hard he tried to trick her into feeling guilty or ashamed of the things she was doing to them...

...that there was nothing he could offer her in return for leaving them alone if all else failed...

...that for the very first time since becoming the leader of their group, he was unable to protect the members so close to his heart...

...that he would end up running out of time to help them...

 

Knowing that he only had a few hours before he had to leave to get ready for his military enlistment the following day, and especially knowing that his group was losing the leader it had depended on for a considerable amount of time and would be vulnerable until someone else stepped up, Hakyeon _already_ couldn't bear the thought of not being able to help and protect them in the future. And now, Harin was sitting across from him, stubbornly throwing justifications for her behavior at him with her chin high up in the air, not even showing an ounce of insecurity or regret.

 

It was all too much. Suddenly feeling as though he didn't have the slightest chance to change her mind, feeling dejected, helpless, and above all incredibly sad for Jaehwan and Wonsik, Hakyeon simply couldn't hold back his tears anymore - as pathetic as it may seem.     

 

          "Don't you understand how miserable Jaehwannie's going to be if you take the _one_ thing away from him that makes him truly happy? And Wonsik will be just as miserable," Hakyeon said in a slightly trembling voice, not even daring to look at her for fear of finding that even his tears had left her utterly cold.

 

          "You're wrong...," Harin shot back stubbornly, her voice hard as a rock, "...Wonsik doesn't treat him right...probably doesn't even love him...I saw how he hurt him, how rough he was. That's not love, it's abuse."

 

Hakyeon took a deep breath before replying; it wouldn't help to make her angry again. He needed her to understand that her motives were wrong, even if she tried to shy away from the truth - though he suspected she must at least know deep down just how despicable her actions were; she probably just didn't want to admit to herself.

 

          "I know you were with him for a considerably long time and that you might think you know everything about him. I always felt the same way about my fellow members. I spent so many years with them, went through so many hardships while being right next to them...so I naturally thought I knew them inside and out...But the thing is, we never do...we never really know everything there is to know about the people we feel close to...And sometimes, they don't even know everything about _themselves_...People grow...people change...they abruptly find themselves liking things they'd never considered before...What I'm trying to say is that...that even though it might seem outrageous and incomprehensible to you that he's in love with another man when you never thought he was gay...or even though he might do things with his boyfriend or let him do things to him that seem rough or even violent in your opinion...it doesn't mean his feelings aren't true...it doesn't mean he's not being loved or cherished."

 

          "You can only say that because you didn't see what he did to him," Harin replied defensively while wringing her hands.

 

          "You're right, I didn't see...I didn't want to watch the private moment you saved on this," Hakyeon said calmly while pulling the black flash drive from his pocket and cradling it in his hand for her to see - and hopefully feel guilty about.

 

          "It's not like I _wanted_ to do this either...it's not like I _wanted_ to see any of it," Harin shot at him, her voice loud, her tone defensive.

 

          "But you did it anyway...you decided to hide out and intrude on a _very_ private moment...you decided to throw away all those years of trust you and Jaehwan had built up between you...and I'm not talking about the trust between you as a couple, but the trust between you as friends...as individuals who parted ways but still felt linked to each other...as two people who would always be connected through the beautiful memories they shared...who would always think fondly of one another even long after they went their separate ways," Hakyeon said, pausing for a moment when he suddenly saw a flicker of emotion flit across Harin's hitherto cold mien.

 

          "Now think about how he would feel...," Hakyeon continued hopefully, sensing that he might finally be getting somewhere with her, her armor having seemed to crack slightly, "...if he knew what you've done...how you betrayed his trust...and how you're trying to decide the person he's supposed to love for him."

 

          "I'm not saying these things to threaten you or make you feel guilty," Hakyeon quickly added, sensing that he was walking on very thin ice with her - though to be completely honest, he wanted her to feel so fucking guilty that she couldn't fucking stand it...and if she didn't willingly back down and hand over the original footage she'd taken and every single copy she'd made and promise to never mess with them again, he would fucking threaten her with everything he could fucking lay his hands on! "...I'm sure you already know that what you did was wrong...So I think it's finally time to do the _right_ thing...to salvage the loving memories the two of you made in the past...which Jaehwan has kept in his heart...to finally let him go, let him be happy, and let him keep the fond memories and the loveable and innocent image he has of you...You know it's the right thing to do...Harin-ssi."

 

Hakyeon finished the words he'd needed her to hear and waited with bated breath for her to let him know what she'd decided, once again feeling more hopeful when he finally saw tears filling her eyes. It seemed as though the ice had finally cracked...as if he'd gotten through to her in the end. Though he'd felt desperate and helpless and afraid that he wouldn't be able to persuade her, it seemed Hakyeon had finally found the words that had the power to get through to her. Probably knowing that Hakyeon had no qualms whatsoever in telling Jaehwan the truth about what she'd done in a heartbeat, and fearing that he would never forgive her and would think of their relationship as the biggest mistake he'd ever made, Harin finally seemed ready to give up.

 

          "You know it's the right decision, Harin," Hakyeon spoke softly while gently taking her hands in his in a comforting manner.

 

Because while he didn't feel like comforting her for a second or ever forgiving her for what she'd done, he knew it was the only way to get her to stop.

 

Hakyeon almost couldn't believe it when she finally closed her eyes and nodded before letting her head hang and the tears run down her cheeks unchecked. Instinctively knowing that it was the right time - now that she was emotionally vulnerable - to get her to fully understand how Jaehwan felt, Hakyeon let go of her hands, pulled his phone from his pocket, and searched for one of the videos he'd taken not too long ago.

 

          "I know this may be hard for you, but I need you to fully understand...let me show you something."

 

Without waiting for a reply, Hakyeon pushed the play button on the video and held his phone out for her to see.

 

          " _You didn't save my portion of sushi, did you?" Jaehwan, who was sitting across from Wonsik at VIXX's kitchen table asked him accusingly, a huge pout already on its way, "Didn't you say you were only going to eat half?"_

 

_"Sorry, baby, I forgot...and it was just too good," Wonsik teased him, a smile playing on his lips as he gently tugged on Jaehwan's lower, pouting lip._

 

_"You'd better make it up to him fast before he starts whining," Hakyeon's voice, who was recording them on his phone, could be heard over Jaehwan's and Wonsik's banter._

 

_"I'll make it up to him, don't worry," Wonsik said, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows at Jaehwan, who still hadn't stopped pouting even though he actually looked rather amused and as though he was trying not to smile; it was obvious that he wasn't really upset._

 

_"I want sushi_ instead _," Jaehwan whined, completely resisting his boyfriend's charms._

 

_"So I don't even get a kiss?" Wonsik asked leaning forward with closed eyes and cutely pursing his lips._

 

_"No chance," Jaehwan replied, demonstratively leaning further back in his chair._

 

_"What if I said I have more sushi?" Wonsik suddenly said, looking very pleased with himself and grinning broadly at him as if he'd already won._

 

_"You're just saying that to steal a kiss from me," Jaehwan replied, squinting his eyes at him suspiciously._

 

_"Tada!" Wonsik suddenly screamed loudly while holding the huge box he'd obviously hidden behind his back the entire time out to Jaehwan, presenting his boyfriend with the box of sushi he'd evidently bought for him to enjoy all by himself._

 

_"You got me a whole one? The large box...the one that's always gone when I'm in the store looking for it?" Jaehwan squealed excitedly, snatching the box right out of Wonsik's hand, ripping it open, and starting to devour the freshly made, delicious looking pieces of high-quality sushi._

 

_"Dou're de besd," Jaehwan mumbled with a mouth stuffed full of sushi._

 

_"Excuse me, I couldn't really hear you...Did you say I'm the best?" Wonsik asked, grinning across his entire face and looking like the proudest, happiest boyfriend in the entire world, "Then do I get a kiss now?"_

 

_Without waiting for a further invitation, Jaehwan immediately leaned forward and gave Wonsik a big smooch on his mouth while it was still full with bits of rice._

 

_"Arghh...you could have swallowed first," Wonsik grumbled at him and started to pick the rice Jaehwan had lost from his own chin, though his expression clearly showed that he was pleased as could be._

 

_"Sorry," Jaehwan said, grinning at him happily before immediately stuffing more food down his throat, which abruptly made Wonsik burst out laughing, his guffaw loud and uninhibited._

 

_"I love you," Wonsik suddenly said, still smiling slightly, but his expression was sincere, his eyes positively brimming with love as he looked at Jaehwan._

 

_"I love you too," Jaehwan replied a bit shyly but just as sincerely, holding Wonsik's gaze for a long moment before concentrating on his food again._

 

 

Hakyeon closed the video, shut his phone off, and put it back into his pocket, giving Harin time to wipe at the fresh tears that had gathered in her eyes.

 

          "Now, do you understand?" Hakyeon quietly asked her a few moments later.

 

Harin seemed unable to speak but quietly nodded her head in response.

 

          "Then, will you please give me the original memory card and any copies you've made?" Hakyeon went on, hoping his efforts hadn't been in vain.

 

After a moment's hesitation, Harin finally got up, walked over to a small wooden desk in the corner of the room, opened the drawer, and pulled out her camera. After extracting the memory card, she sat back down next to Hakyeon and held her hand out to him, waiting for him to take it.

 

          "And the copies?" Hakyeon asked.

 

          "You have the only copy I made...the flash drive...I don't have more," Harin said.

 

          "You promise?" Hakyeon asked and waited until she'd nodded to continue, "...And will you promise me that you will leave them alone from now on and will let them be happy together?"

 

          "I promise," Harin agreed, readily locking pinkies with him when he held his hand out to her."

 

          "Thank you, Harin-ssi," Hakyeon said, really meaning it this time - it didn't mean that he had forgotten what she'd done nor that he would forgive her, only that he was thankful that she'd finally done the right thing in the end.

 

After Harin accompanied him to the door, Hakyeon turned around to face her one last time before taking his leave.

 

          "Don't betray my trust...please keep your promise," Hakyeon entreated her.

 

          "I will," Harin replied, looking sincere.

 

Hakyeon nodded, headed out the door, and pushed for the elevator. Just as he stepped inside and the elevator doors were about to close, Harin's voice rang out to him through the corridor, reaching him just in time for him to hear the words she apparently wanted to convey but probably didn't have the courage to tell him to his face.

 

          "Tell...Ravi...I'm sorry."

 


	76. Farewell

Hakyeon hurried back to his apartment to finish his packing, but the first thing he did after arriving was plunk himself down on his couch. He felt exhausted; he never would have guessed that this whole ordeal with Jaehwan's ex would take so much out of him. Then again, it made sense; he'd felt on edge the entire time he'd talked to her and had given everything he had not to let it show - which hadn't gone very well in the end since he'd actually started crying. So, of course, he would feel drained.

 

But after having seen the change in her behavior and having made her promise that she would leave the two of them alone in the future, Hakyeon could finally relax again...at least for a few minutes. Then he had to finish packing his bag, get rid of the remaining contents of his refrigerator so that he could shut the electricity off since he wouldn't be home for a long while, take out the trash, lock up his apartment, and finally head over to the hair salon so that he could get the compulsory buzz cut before entering the military the following day.

 

Sighing deeply because he knew he couldn't afford to lie around any longer with everything that still needed to be taken care of, Hakyeon got back to his feet and continued packing his bag. After having taken care of everything a few hours later, Hakyeon headed over to the hair salon and got ready to capture the sad moment when his precious hair was nearly completely cut off on camera so that he could post it on his youtube channel as a way to let Starlight take part in this important and - in his opinion - traumatic moment. He knew he could grow it back when his military service ended...he knew it wasn't the end of the world...and he knew Starlight would still love him with extremely short hair...and he tried to look positive throughout the video.

 

But somehow he couldn't quite manage to fool anyone, especially himself. He could already sense that his expression looked more sad and apprehensive than anything else. And he could clearly see it while reviewing the video a few minutes later after he'd posted it on his channel.

 

But so many Starlights commented on how he looked beautiful regardless of the extremely short haircut, and they were so supportive, thanking him and wishing him well, that Hakyeon soon found himself being cheered up by the many comments that flooded his youtube channel as well as his Twitter and Instagram accounts, on which he'd posted photos of himself with short hair as well.

 

Finally, the time had come to spend the rest of his time before his enlistment with his fellow members, who were getting together to throw him a small farewell party. It was already past nine o'clock in the evening when Hakyeon finally arrived at VIXX's dorm. Not hesitating to let himself in since they hadn't changed the passcode for the front door, Hakyeon excitedly entered, expecting to be the one surprising _them_ as he hadn't told them exactly when he'd be coming over...only to be surprised instead by all of them standing right in front of the door to greet him - Taekwoon holding a small celebratory cake out in front of him just like he'd done so many years ago on Hakyeon's birthday.

 

Hakyeon laughed, amused and touched by the fact that they were one step ahead of him and had all gathered in front of the door to greet him when they couldn't even have known at what time he'd be there.

 

          "Are you all ghosts?" Hakyeon asked while laughing, using the common Korean saying for when a person seemed to know something they couldn't possibly know.

 

          "No, we just have eyes," Hongbin replied dryly while rolling his eyes.

 

          "Huh?" Hakyeon, who hadn't understood what his boyfriend was getting at, quickly asked.

 

          "Hyukkie and Jin were on the lookout for you at the window for quite a while and finally saw you heading toward the building, baby," Taekwoon answered while grinning and winking at him.

 

          "Oh...okay. Got it...," Hakyeon replied, grinning back at Taekwoon before once again directing his attention to his other boyfriend, "...Now, see how _nicely_  Taekwoonie explained?...Why can't you do that?...Had to roll your eyes at me, didn't you? And what was that? _'No, we just have eyes'_ " Hakyeon complained, mimicking the way Hongbin had said it right down to his darker tone of voice.

 

          "Haha...," Hongbin laughed instead of showing remorse, "...that's why you love me, isn't it?" he said with the brightest grin on his face, flashing his adorable dimples at Hakyeon in such a way that it took the fight right out of him.

 

          "Mmm...," Hakyeon simply grumbled in reply, a small pout remaining on his lips.

 

          "Here...," Hongbin suddenly said after stepping in front of him and gently grabbing him by the shoulders, "...sorry, hyung...let me make it up to you."

 

And as a consolation, Hongbin pulled him close and planted a not so innocent but rather heated kiss on his lips - even slipping him the tongue! - in front of everyone around, including Jin.

 

          "S-stop...," Hakyeon yelped, quickly pulling away from him, "...not here...you're embarrassing me."

 

But before the color of his flushing face could return back to normal through his vigorous efforts of fanning himself with his hands, Taekwoon quickly shoved the cake he'd been holding into Jaehwan's hands, grabbed Hakyeon by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to give him an even more heated kiss - if that was even possible.

 

Hakyeon was speechless by the time Taekwoon finally let go of him and backed away, and simply glared at him, not even bothering to fan his face this time around, knowing it was too much on fire for it to be of any real use until he'd managed to calm down again; while he wasn't usually that prude, he wasn't used to the two of them being so forward in front of other people.

 

          "I wanted a chance to embarrass you, too...," Taekwoon simply stated, explaining that he hadn't wanted to be left out.

 

          "Ahem...err...fine," Hakyeon finally conceded, a grin stealing across his face; it seemed someone would _really_ miss him - more than _one_ someone to be exact.

 

Of course, he'd already known his boyfriends would miss him. But it was still nice to have it confirmed and to - literally - get a taste of just how much. Plus, he hadn't expected their displays of affection to be to this extent...that they would even kiss him so intimately in front of the other members and Hyuk's boyfriend when both of them didn't usually express their feelings all too well, not to mention openly.

 

          "I'll miss the two of you, too," Hakyeon said, grinning across his entire face as though he'd just won the lotto - which was exactly how he felt - while the other two suddenly looked away, finally seeming to feel a bit embarrassed, after all.

 

          "So, you're only going to miss the two of them?" Wonsik suddenly asked, slightly frowning at him while approaching him from the side.

 

          "Yeah...you know they're the only ones who matter," Hakyeon teased him, getting back at him for the many, many times Wonsik had teased him, especially in public and in front of the camera, "Okay, fine, I'll miss _all of you_ , of course...Did you even need to ask that?"

 

And as he pulled Wonsik into his arms to give him a warm, brotherly hug, he whispered into his ear so quietly that the others couldn't hear, "It's okay, now...I took care of it," purposefully leaving out the part about Harin wanting him to apologize to Wonsik for her; because, quite frankly, even if he was glad that she'd come around in the end, he couldn't truly forgive her...and he was sure, neither could Wonsik.

 

Hakyeon had barely finished his whispered sentence when everyone around them suddenly crowded together to envelop Wonsik and him in a group hug, strong and warm arms embracing him from all sides. And before he knew it, he found himself very nearly starting to cry for the second time that day and only just managed to hold back his tears. Because the last thing he wanted was to spend the few remaining hours with some of the people who mattered the most to him in the entire world feeling sad and crying his eyes out.

 

After the other members and Jin - who'd surprised Hakyeon by taking part in their group hug even though they didn't really know each other all too well (which he had to admit, he kind of found endearing) - finally let him go, they all gathered around the living room coffee table to have food and drinks and start their farewell party. And so the hours passed all too quickly with everyone having fun and laughing out loud during the many games they played and the silly things they did...until the time had come to call it a night.

 

Hakyeon bid his other fellow members goodnight, knowing he would see them again in the morning before he left, and retreated to Taekwoon's room - which had a larger bed - together with his two boyfriends. Although he was already starting to feel sad about parting ways with them the following day, he was looking forward to spending the last night before his enlistment in their arms. And not having consumed much alcohol during their farewell party, all three of them would be able to enjoy each other's company with all of their senses fully alert...

 

 

 

Hakyeon sleepily opened his eyes the following morning and let his gaze wander across the two naked bodies comfortably sprawled across his own, the two of them snuggled up against him from both sides with their arms and legs draped over him, holding him and each other in a tight embrace. The innocent expressions on their faces, as well as their warm breaths gently fanning across his skin as they evenly breathed in and out in their sleep, made Hakyeon's heart soar as he lay quietly watching them.

 

Eventually, he closed his eyes again, wanting to stay lost in that peaceful moment a while longer instead of getting up. But as soon as he did, he found himself transported back in time to the night they'd spent in each other's arms...remembering vividly every single kiss...every smallest touch...

 

...the shudders of pleasure running up and down his entire body as they'd made him go crazy...

...the helpless, breathless moans that had interrupted the silence as the two of them had spread him open and penetrated him so deeply that he hadn't been able to catch his breath...

...the soft whimpers that had left his throat as they had rocked his body and taken his sanity...

...as they'd fucked him hard and deep...

...and taken him over and over again...

...until all three of them had collapsed from total exhaustion...

 

And even then, they had been far from finished, snuggling and kissing intimately all night, doing some light and heavier petting while their mouths and tongues devoured each other. On any other night, Hakyeon might have found such behavior excessive. Yet, knowing how long it would be until they could all be together again...no touch...no kiss...no melding of their bodies could ever be enough! And so they'd made love all night long...until the sun had nearly come up.

 

But even if every inch of his body, especially his backside, ached like crazy and he was totally exhausted - even though it was the day of his enlistment - Hakyeon would do everything over again, given the chance. He wouldn't change a single thing and would keep this vivid memory with him to give him comfort during the time he was away.

 

Quickly opening his eyes again - because the last thing he needed right now was to indulge in this particular memory and develop a serious, gigantic problem! - Hakyeon gently entangled himself from Taekwoon and Hongbin and headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for his important day...

 

 

 

A few hours after having had breakfast with everyone and saying his last goodbyes - which had turned teary because Jaehwan hadn't actually been able to hold his tears back and had made everyone else cry - Hakyeon met up with his parents, who had come to accompany him to the training grounds to see him off. After waving to his fellow members one last time, Hakyeon got into the passenger side of the car that would safely drive him and his parents, who were sitting in the back, to his destination.

 

After watching the reflection of his fellow members in the rearview mirror until they faded into tiny dots, Hakyeon pulled out his phone, went to his Twitter account and quickly took and posted a selfie of himself and his parents. He was about to leave the app when a series of tweets suddenly caught his attention. It seemed Hyuk, Taekwoon, and Wonsik had planned this ahead of time and tweeted at the same moment...wanting to properly send off Hakyeon with their messages.

 

Surprised and excited, Hakyeon read the messages one after the other.

 

Hyuk posted two photos of Hakyeon getting into the car and waving at them and wrote  _His last goodbye_ , adding the hashtag _Hak Yeon, you did well, you worked hard, thank you._

 

Hakyeon could already feel his eyes start to fill with tears, but moved on to read Taekwoon's post anyway.

 

          _All sorts of things happened to us. Thanks to you, I can feel the weight of the precious moments we spent together more strongly. I miss you a little today._

 

          By now, Hakyeon's eyes were positively overflowing with the tears he still tried to hold back, afraid to let himself cry, lest he'd find himself unable to stop and end up alarming his poor parents on the back seat. Nevertheless, Hakyeon moved on to read Wonsik's post next and to look at the old photos he'd posted of him and Hakyeon together.

 

          _When I first went to the practice room at the age of 19 and struggled with nervousness, you were the person with the_ _backwards_ _red cap who greeted me warmly and tried to make me feel comfortable by continuing to talk to me. You played a big role in making me think, ‘_ _Ah,_ _if it’s with these people, I’m okay with being a part of a team._

 _You’re someone I’m grateful for because you gather energy for VIXX, never cower from standing in the front of our team, and fight for us in the shadows. We fought with each other like crazy and now our bond is too deep…I have love and hatred for Cha Hak Yeon ㅋㅋ_   _(laughs). I miss you today ㅠㅜ_ _(tears). I was relieved to see that you were energetic, but I’m also worried. See you again soon. I love you._

 

Hakyeon couldn't hold his tears any longer, the salty liquid freely running down his cheeks as he finally broke down and started bawling. And just as he'd expected, his parents seemed alarmed at his sudden outburst, continuously asking him what was wrong. When he had finally managed to regain control and was able to talk again, he simply replied,

 

          "Nothing...I'm just...I'm happy."

 

          "What do you mean? Why would you cry like this if you're happy?" his mother asked, sounding confused.

 

          "Because they love me," Hakyeon explained while wiping at the remaining wetness on his cheeks, probably not making much sense.

 

          "Well, _of_ _course_ they do, honey," his mother replied, her tone of voice suggesting it was only natural for them to do so, "But you already knew that, didn't you?...At least _I_ knew that."

 

          "Yes...I knew...but it's just so nice to actually have them express it like this...and Wonsik doesn't usually say such things...and it just...it made me emotional."

 

          "I know," his mother replied softly, starting to soothe him by rubbing his arm from behind while his father shyly clapped him on the shoulder in a gentle way to comfort him.

 

 A while later, he and his parents finally arrived at their destination, and Hakyeon rolled the window down to greet and smile at the many beautiful Starlights that had come to see him off and offer him comfort and love. And with a much calmer and warmer feeling than before, Hakyeon enlisted and finally said goodbye to his parents, as well. And before he knew it, his first day of enlistment had nearly ended, and there was only one last thing he had to do.

 

Thinking of his many fans and the way they had helped set him at ease and make him feel loved, Hakyeon pulled out his phone, went to his youtube channel, and finally uploaded the very last gift to his beloved Starlights, a video he'd taken of himself earlier showing him writing them an emotional letter, his soft, comforting voice reading the message out loud. And because he'd known how many Starlights always desperately waited for English translations, he'd included a translation in the video's description so that he could make sure that they fully understood his heart.

 

 _It’s a shame that the past month has gone by so quickly. As soon as the drama filming was over, there was Starlight’s fifth fan meeting, composing and writing lyrics, and while thinking of how to direct ‘a! Chahakyeon’ fan meeting in Korea and Japan, I had to enlist in the army without having the time for a farewell party with my close friends, and senior and junior actors and singers. Although it was a short amount of time, I did a lot of work and thought I was a good use of time. However, when I was contacted by close friends who expressed their sad feelings, the first thing that came to my mind was… My fans_ _.._ _My Starlight. When I gave you my news of enlistment last January, I said that we could talk and share a lot of stories, but I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise. As the Korean saying goes, “Time flies like an arrow.” I have become to really understand this. Although the time in the military is not long, I would like to send my regards to those that feel sad. I thought about what I should say, but I realized that it was not the past month, but the last 7 years which was short… The moment I broke into tears in the waiting room after my debut stage 7 years ago, my first birthday party with just over 100 fans, the day of the first fan meeting… The first time we went on stage in the Gymnastics Arena, the first time we became_ _1st_ _place in the charts and cried with the VIXX members_ _.._ _It took a long time to keep our promise that we would buy chicken when we became 1st place. Thank you for waiting. I remember the happy and grateful times, just like yesterday, when the fans sang along with us in Korean during overseas concerts. Oh! Did you know? I wanted to do_ _busking_ _performance in the Han River on my birthday after a surprise announcement, but there was opposition from staff members who were worried about the safety of fans. But unlike the worries, I remember being amazed and grateful how well the order was kept, even in the open outdoor stage. Since then, I've been able to talk confidently at_ _meetings when_ _discussing events for my fans, like “I’ll make a surprise appearance from the audience seats!” ^^ In fact, the start of even the small events for Starlight was all thanks to Starlight. Thank you very much. I cannot dare tell you to wait for me. But I will keep my promise wherever I am. I am grateful for the memories that I have been able to share. I will become a person that shares gratitude. Until then, spend joyful, exciting and happy days, and let’s meet again healthy. My fans who were willing to join me on my journey for the past 7 years, since my debut, I send my regards a hundred times, which still isn’t enough. I was always happy because we were together, I felt reassured because we were together, Our times together were always happy. Thank you and thank you again. I will miss you a lot. Bye~ From. Hakyeon Cha  
_

 

And with this video, Hakyeon finally said his last goodbye, knowing and trusting with all his heart that Starlights would quietly cheer him on, wait for his return, and think of him just as often as he would think of them in return...and that VIXX and Starlights would always find their way back to each other and be together in the end.

 

          Because the Milky Way was forever...

...And Starlights' brilliantly shining light and neverending love would continue to shower down upon the six precious boys dearest to their hearts for all eternity...

 

\- The End -


End file.
